Chương 98: The Talk

When I woke up the mana was trickling back. Tala was asleep next to me so I snuck out of the bedroom and walked to the den. Shelly had left a plate of food on the floor. Someone had already taken a bite out of the granola bar, and I had a pretty good idea who. Seeing it made me wonder if Mort had already filled up the Liminal Lands again. Sighing, I ate what was left and watched the television someone had left running. It was basically Youtube showing one suggested video followed by another.

I was too lazy to change the channel since I knew I'd be leaving soon. After I was done, I opened a portal. Once I arrived in the Liminal Lands, I was surprised to see not much was different. There were a few more piles of junk, but it was nowhere near what I'd feared. Pleasantly pleased, I tried to think of something to talk to Lifna about. Unfortunately, I had nothing and there was rarely anything new that happened to her. Also, I hated talking about myself.

Lifna seemed content with the silence, but I certainly found it uncomfortable. That was when a thought hit me.

"Hey, I have an idea I'd like to try," I told her.

"What kind of idea?" Lifna asked.

"You spend all your time in here. You've never seen anything outside this domain except whatever comes through the portal." I looked up at her rotating surface.

"That seems boring."

"I have you," she said.

"And the junk."

"The junk isn't exactly exciting company." She didn't argue with that.

"There's this thing called television," I said.

"Humans use it to watch other humans do things. Sometimes it's useful and sometimes it's just people yelling at each other, but the point is it's something to look at." Although I was tempted to test out the idea first, I had several backup plans that I'd try if what I had in mind failed.

"I'm going to open a small portal from here to the den. It will be just big enough for you to see and hear through. I'll leave the TV running. You can even listen in on when we have our meetings." Lifna was quiet for a moment.

"What would I watch?"

"Youtube, probably," I said. While I would love to give her a chance to choose what she wanted to see, I just didn't see that happening. I mean, how in the literal world that is Lifna would she be able to change the channel? I thought about what I'd been watching earlier. It was a video about someone restoring a rusted engine. Before that, it was a raccoon stealing from a bird feeder. Curious to see what was playing, I opened a small portal in the dimensional wall into the cabin's den.

It was about the size of a dinner plate since I was worried about the energy consumption. Keeping a large opening was tiring Through it I could see most of the room.

"There you go," I said. An animal video popped up, showing a tier list of rodents. It had lemmings at the bottom. Squirrels were a class A animal, which I could easily see. Then the video continued, with porcupines listed at S tier. Damn, I didn't know porcupines were a type of rodent. Apparently, we weren't the only ones watching, or at least listening, to the video. Tala came screaming out of the bedroom. She was pissed.

I had to admit, I was amused at first, especially when she started insulting someone other than me for once.

"Oh, look at you, you hairless monkey with your glowing rectangle of judgment. You think you can rank the children of the forest like collectible cards?" Tala wasn't even close to being done. We watched as she went over to the remote and started typing something into the comments while she continued to mutter insults. Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"Porcupines don't even do anything. They just sit there looking like failed hairbrushes. Speaking of which, I wonder how many bots you bought to get so many followers. I bet there's a reason you don't show your face in this video." I was really curious to see what Tala was typing and made a mental note to go back to the channel to read the comments. That made me think of something else. Maybe I can set up a satellite internet and let the church animals watch animal videos and comment on how accurate the videos are.

Maybe I can even get them a GoPro and have them upload their own videos. While I was thinking about how to verify their identity so they could get paid for advertisements, Tala continued with her tirade. Unfortunately, at this point I had to quickly close the portal after Tala started using some rather colorful language.

"Hey, that was fun," Lifna complained. I ignored Lifna for a moment while I sent Tala a message, "Just so you know, I'd opened a portal for Lifna to watch the television so she wouldn't be bored." The moment I sent it, I knew I'd made a mistake. Tala was not pleased with the "trash" I was allowing Lifna to watch. She then expressed these feelings with me. I tried to tune them out, but sadly, we were connected through a bond that didn't allow me to ignore her. Suddenly, I worried I might have messed up with Buck.

Is he being subjected to incessant talking and complaining with Bambi with no escape? I made a mental note to check on him to see if he'd changed his mind about becoming a statue instead. Suddenly, I sympathized with her. The poor guy, having to listen to her all the time without a minute of silence. Tala's voice cut off immediately. I could feel the cold anger seeping through the link. Fudge. Did I accidentally send that?

The next few minutes left me considering ways in which I could knock myself out with a minimal amount of pain or damage. Finally, Tala ran out of energy and lapsed into silence. Realizing it might be safe, I opened a small portal again to peep through. Tala was busy typing something in the comments of the video. Then she switched to one of his other vidoes. While she did agree with him on a few things he said, she looked an awful lot like she wasn't agreeing with him in the comments she was making.

Maybe she was a troll in a previous life, I thought, this time making sure it didn't escape my head. I had to admit, the videos were good even if I didn't always agree. Lifna seemed to enjoy them as well.

"Can I watch this when you're not here?"

"That's the idea. I'll leave the portal open and the TV running. When everyone meets in the den you'll be able to see and hear that too. Fair warning, some of the videos are fake and others are stupuid."

"Okay" Lifna said. I wanted to give her some other warning, but I didn't really know what to say. In fact, I was starting to feel like one of those parents who sit their kids in front of the boob-tube to babysit.

"If you hear something important, let me know, okay?" I doubted she would hear anything, but what harm could it cause?

"Will do," Lifna said. Sighing, I decided to get it over with left her to it and went back to the cabin. I just had to make sure whatever reaming I was about to get would be done in the bedroom instead of the den. To my relief, Tala just looked up when I appeared.

"I'm calling a meeting." I climbed up onto my recliner while she made her calls. Eventually, the others filtered in. When everyone had settled I explained the gate situation along with Lifna watching us. Nobody interrupted, which meant they were all taking it seriously.

"That's a dungeon," Claire said when I finished.

"Not really, more like an open door to another world," I said. Shelly leaned back in her chair.

"So some eager beaver on the other side could just push through whenever they felt like it."

"If we leave it open, yes. Or until we get enough crystals to make it a one-way portal."

"How much?" Claire asked.

"A hundred and fifty crystals." I'd already checked. Actually, it was more than that. These crystals were just the initial investment. It would take more if the gate was attacked. Shelly crossed her arms.

"You know the government is going to want their piece. The second word gets out that you're sitting on a planar gate, someone in a suit is going to show up talking about jurisdiction."

"I know," I said.

"I'm also not handing over control of the gate. Whatever arrangement we make, I hold the key."

"They won't like that," Claire said.

"They don't have to like it." I'd earned it so I wasn't about to give it away. For the next half-hour we kept talking about the best way to use the portal. I didn't say much since they were better at the details than I was. My job was to hold the door shut until we could afford a lock. My job after that was to run the gate without getting anyone killed.

"When we find out where the portal appears, I can keep the pack on rotation near the tunnel entrance. If something comes through before you get the portal secured, at least we'd have warning," Pierre said. I nodded, since it was the best idea for now. I had no desire for government soldiers to start thinking they had any type of authority around my gate. After a while the conversation wound down and people started drifting out. Tomorrow, we'd open the gate and see what happened.

Half the Moonbound would be waiting where the portal opened the first time. The rest would wait here. I wasn't sure which I preferred. Either way, it would definitely complicate my life.