Chương 89: Window Shopping

The crystals were sitting on the kitchen counter in a row because Loki had arranged them that way. There were fifteen pale blue stones. Each was about the size of a marble. They were lined up like someone had been toilet trained at gun point. I picked one up and turned it in my paws. It was warm, but not body-heat warm. Instead, it felt like it was generating its own energy. I could tell this after I truly looked at it. It was condensed mana in physical form.

"You going to stare at them or use them?" Tala asked from the counter.

"I'm assessing," I said, feeling strangely drawn to the mana crystals.

"You're stalling," Tala complained, obviously annoyed by my inspection of the crystals.

"Assessing and stalling are the same thing when you don't know what anything costs." The Gaia System had a store. It had been announced in one of the global announcements. I'd ignored it the same way I'd ignored the terms-of-service agreement on every piece of software I'd ever owned when I was alive. I ignored it completely. Of course, things might have been different if I'd actually possessed planar crystals. But I hadn't. I'd almost forgotten about the store's existence. But now I had currency, fifteen crystals.

Between the plague rats heading our way and a future parade of adventurers showing up, it seemed like a good time to figure out what fifteen crystals could actually buy. I focused on the Gaia System interface the way I'd learned to access my other divine functions. It was like reaching for a menu that existed in the back of my skull. It was annoying, but functional. The store opened. I looked at it for a moment before muttering, "It says I am a Pantheon Ruler. That makes it sound like I run a franchise."

"You kind of do," Tala said. I ignored her since she was clearly just trying to get a rise from me. Instead, I started scrolling through the categories. The store was organized the way you'd expect a divine shopping catalog to be organized, which was to say it made perfect sense if you were a cosmic intelligence and no sense at all if you were a raccoon. The first section was labeled Personal Upgrades. It was standard stuff, available to anyone with crystals. I read through the foundational skills list.

GAIA SYSTEM PLANAR STORE. Current Balance: 15 Planar Crystals (Pantheon Ruler, Tier 3 Access) Tier 0 Foundational Skills: 10 Planar Crystals Each Alertness (Basic) - Teaches how to notice ambushes, movement, traps, and unusual things. Identify (Basic) - Teaches how to evaluate items, creatures, and hazards Dodge (Basic) - Teaches timing, movement, and positioning First Aid (Basic) - Teaches bleeding control, poison control, splinting, and stabilizing Knowledge (Basic) - Teaches information about a single topic.

Mana Sense (Basic) - Teaches how to detect mana. Self Defense (Basic) - Teaches unarmed blocks, escapes, and basic strikes Survival Skills (Basic) - Teaches how to create shelters, find food, navigate, track, and trapmaking. Weapon Skills (Basic) - Teaches grip, stance, and safe handling of a single weapon Tier 1 Personalized Skills: Varies Tier 2 Divine Skills: Varies Tier 3 Pantheon Skills: Varies MESSAGE FROM GAIA. Don't open the other skills. You'll just get depressed.

Just by glancing at the basic skills I could tell the Gaia System was letting everyone know what she thought should be learned. She clearly expected everyone to be able to notice danger, avoid danger, and recover from danger. It was basically giving everyone access to a 'military bootcamp', as long as you had access to crystals. Unfortunately, she wasn't giving out freebies. I guess she's the 'tough love' kind of parent. I could respect that, though.

Handing out free gifts, especially on a global scale, had to be expensive. Still, there was no way in hell that I wasn't going to look at the other tiers. With only the briefest of hesitations, I pulled up the tier 1 skills. Immediately, I regretted it. Fuck me, I thought. Just… fuck me. She'd been right. The mundane foundational skills were cheap, at least in comparison. Also, they weren't straight forward either. Even the simplest tier 1 skill required the person to learn at least one of the foundational skills.

Some of the more complicated ones required multiple foundational skills. For example, Herbalism. I would have thought it could be taught by itself. However, if someone wanted to learn the herbalism skill, they had to buy Alertness (to find the items or notice things about it), Identify (to check the condition or make sure what it is), First Aid (if it is being used as a healing potion), Mana Sense (to make sure the mana is pure), and Survival (to know where to find it).

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. And that was in addition to the price for the skill in question. Needless to say, I doubted too many people would end up buying the Herbalist skill. For some reason, it was the cheapest tier 1 skill, but it still cost a hundred planar crystals, and that was without the other needed purchases. Damn, just… damn. Talk about high prices, I thought as my eyes widened.

As for shapeshifting, if I wanted to learn that spell, I would need to learn, at the very minimum, Knowledge and Mana Sense. However, I would also need to buy the tier 1 Mana Manipulation skill. Only after that, could I buy the Shapeshifting skill. I did some math that I wasn't going to enjoy.

"Tala," I said quietly.

"Yeah?" Tala asked hesitantly, suddenly looking unsure.

"How much did Loki charge those three adventurers?" I tried to keep my feelings under control, but I was barely succeeding.

"Five crystals each," she said, her whiskers twitching.

"And what did they get for five crystals?" I already knew, and she knew I knew, but she told me anyway.

"Shapeshifting. Single animal form. Temporary, but permanent activation. They'll have to practice to get better, but the gift is theirs forever."

"Permanent supernatural ability," I said, still coming to terms with what had happened.

"Yes," she said as her swishing tail picked up speed. Just to double check, I again scrolled to the Supernatural Gifts section under the Personalized Skills. I stared at that number for a while.

"Loki charged five crystals for something the store sells for,." I couldn't finish the sentence. I could feel my greedy little heart breaking. Still, I couldn't help but do the math in my head. I didn't know if they'd been taught the base skills too, or if they'd somehow been able to bypass the requirements because they had a teacher. However, even without the base skills, Loki had given the adventurers a 95% discount. Finally, I managed to spit out, "We lost around 300 crystals!" Tala was quiet for a moment.

"We didn't lose them. We never had them. Loki set the price and you told him to charge whatever he thought was fair. There was no way they could have afforded to pay that much anyway." I knew she was right. I resented her at that moment for being right, but I couldn't help myself.

"I assumed he had some frame of reference for what things cost in this system. He's old enough. He's been doing magic since before America existed."

"He's been doing magic in Asgard, where payment was a symbolic tribute. He has no idea how the Gaia System prices things. He set prices based on what felt respectful, not what the market would bear. Anyway, he probably just charged whatever they had on them." I put the crystal down on the counter harder than necessary. It clinked against the granite and rolled.

"He might as well have been giving out free samples."

"Abe," Tala said, patting my arm as if I was a toddler throwing a tantrum.

"Think of it that way. When others find out about how much we charged to teach them, there will be an influx of visitors wanting to learn. We can always say the first adventurers were given a discount and charge the newcomers more." I nodded, but still wasn't happy. I could see the danger there. If we bumped up prices too much, the new visitors wouldn't be able to afford it and might take out their frustrations on us.

"Abe. Breathe," Tala told me, obviously able to tell that I was starting to spiral. I breathed. It didn't help, but I breathed.

"Think about it differently. Those three adventurers came here looking for the raccoon god. If Loki hadn't been there to redirect them, they'd have been wandering around our property with cameras and drones. One of them had a YouTube channel with live viewers. Another one had a GoPro he thought was hidden."

"I know," I said while trying to keep my annoyance in check.

"And instead of finding you, or the church, or Ignis, they found Loki. They got something real and impressive. They left happy. And they're going to tell everyone they know."

"That's what worries me," I said. At the prices Loki charged, thousands of visitors were bound to start arriving soon.

"That's what should excite you. They're going to tell people there's a shapeshifting instructor in the Ozarks who charges five crystals for a permanent supernatural gift. People are going to lose their minds. Every adventurer in the region is going to show up here. Think of how many crystals you will make." I opened my mouth. Then I closed it. I could probably buy a lot with those crystals. Maybe I could even buy something from the divine or pantheon tier.

"It's advertising," Tala said while my mind raced.

"The first three students got the introductory rate. Every business does it. Loss leader pricing to build a customer base. You did the same thing when you ran that prepper supply store in the nineties."

"I gave away free water purification tablets to get people in the door."

"Same principle. Bigger scale. Instead of water tablets, you gave away animal transformations." I sat with that for a minute. She wasn't wrong. The three adventurers were going to spread the word. Tyler's YouTube channel would have footage of himself turning into a house cat. Marcus would tell everyone on whatever forums he frequented. Jenny would come back with friends who had money and crystals.

The next wave of students would pay whatever Loki reasonably charged, and this time, I'd make sure the prices were closer to market rate. Not full market rate. Loki being cheaper than the store was part of the value proposition.

"Fine," I said.

"Advertising. Introductory pricing. I can live with that."

"Good," Tala said smugly.

"But I'm talking to Loki about adjusting his rates before the next batch shows up," I stated. I needed to vent my frustration on someone. And that someone was definitely not going to be my wife. First though, I decided to check out what powers were listed in the divine and pantheon tiers. Maybe I can find something that will help me against the rats, I thought.