Chương 92: Money Matters

Fielding's expression shifted slightly after being asked what I'd get from the government besides what he'd already told me. The sympathetic bureaucrat faded and the negotiator surfaced.

"What are you looking for?"

"Access to federal emergency resources. If something bigger than plague rats shows up, I want to be able to call someone who has helicopters and doesn't think I'm crazy."

"The Bureau can provide emergency consultation and, in extreme circumstances, tactical support. But we're stretched thin. I can't promise a response team on standby."

"Consultation." I let the word sit there.

"So I can call you and you'll give me advice."

"And coordinate with other agencies if needed. FEMA, National Guard, whatever the situation requires. We can make introductions. We can't make guarantees." It didn't sound like much so I asked, "What about infrastructure? The adventurer trail needs maintenance. The registration checkpoint needs equipment. Claire needs a budget that reflects what she's actually doing instead of what her old Fish and Wildlife job description says."

"Claire's budget has been adjusted under her new Zone Commander designation," Fielding said.

"Trail maintenance and checkpoint operations fall under Bureau operational funding. We'll cover basic infrastructure."

"Define basic," I said. I'd never trusted the government and wasn't sure if I wanted to agree to anything. Mostly, I was just stalling for time while I thought about what I really wanted.

"A gravel path with signage, as well as a portable registration kiosk and a first aid station." He paused.

"Not luxury accommodations though." I looked at Claire. She gave me a micro-nod Seeing this, I continued, "Let me make sure I understand the full picture. You want me to handle all supernatural problems in the Ozarks, whatever comes up. In exchange, I get formal recognition that I exist, a promise not to tax crystals for now, you'll maintain a gravel path, and if something really bad happens, you'll answer the phone."

"That's the summary, yes." He actually had the gall to look like he was doing me a favor. It took a lot to resist the impulse to shapeshift into a snake and bite him. I might have if it wouldn't have been attacking one of my own kind. Instead, I asked, "And if I say no?"

"Then we continue with the current informal arrangement, which works until it doesn't. Eventually, someone above me will decide that a supernatural zone without formal oversight is a liability. They'll send someone who isn't me and isn't Claire. That person will have different priorities." The implicit threat was gentle, but it was there. Take the deal we're offering, or wait for the deal you won't like. I'd heard this pitch before.

It was the same speech the county had given me about the bunker or the IRS had given me about my unconventional filing methods. It was probably the same speech every bureaucrat gave every someone who was too useful to destroy but too uncontrolled to ignore. Play ball or we'll find someone who will.

"You know what bugs me about this?" I said. Fielding waited.

"I paid taxes for fifty years, federal, state, and local. I served on jury duty three times. I voted in every election since 1972. I maintained my property, obeyed most of the laws, and never once asked the government for anything except to be left alone." I picked up my coffee.

"And now I'm sitting here being told that the government recognizes me as a favor. And this is in exchange for doing a job that you can't do yourself, and the best benefits package you can offer is a gravel path and a promise to pick up the phone." Fielding had the grace to look uncomfortable.

"I understand your frustration."

"No, you don't. But that's fine. Frustration is my natural state." I drank the coffee. It had gone cold.

"I'll take the deal."

"You will?" He actually seemed surprised. If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"I was going to handle the supernatural problems anyway. They're in my territory and they threaten my people. The formal recognition is mostly symbolic, but symbols matter. The tax exemption on crystals is actually useful. And Claire staying as liaison is worth more than everything else in that folder combined." Claire's expression didn't change, but something shifted behind her eyes.

"I have two conditions," I said. Fielding leaned forward slightly.

"Go ahead."

"One. The Bureau formally acknowledges that my body is currently in the possession of an entity known as Raven. You can put whatever legal language you want around it, but I want it on record that I didn't abandon my remains. They were taken without consent. If and when I recover them, I want a clear legal path to doing so without going through a lot of hoops." Kowalski wrote rapidly. Fielding nodded.

"We can include language to that effect. Raven's possession of the body is documented in our files already."

"Two. Don't interfere with my followers if they leave the area. I don't want my people to end up being studied and examined to determine how they were resurrected." Fielding studied me for a moment.

"That's reasonable."

"It's the bare minimum. But I'm a reasonable raccoon." And I was being serious too. I didn't trust the government. There was no doubt in my mind that someone, somewhere, had already asked to be given one of my resurrected animal followers. Although I could see why they might want to study what had happened, I wasn't about to let that happen. In fact, if they tried such a thing, I'd rain down hell upon them. Hopefully, they could tell I wasn't joking around. Otherwise, we were going to have problems in the future.

For now though, Kowalski finished writing and showed the page to Fielding. He read it, nodded, and looked at me.

"We'll have the amended agreement drafted and sent to Claire within forty-eight hours for your review. If the language is acceptable, we'll formalize by end of week."

"Fine." Fielding stood. He looked around the porch one more time. Then he said, "For what it's worth, I've visited all nine Tier One zones. This is the only one where I'm not worried about something eating me."

"Give it time," I said. He almost smiled. Then he collected his briefcase, nodded to Claire, and headed down the steps. Kowalski followed. The two staffers opened the SUV doors and they were gone in a cloud of gravel dust. The porch was quiet. Loki then said, "You left money on the table."

"I know."

"You could have pushed for more. Emergency supply drops. Classified intelligence sharing. Federal construction contracts for Derek's crew. Access to military-grade iron for the plague rat containment."

"I know," I repeated again.

"But you didn't." Loki seemed confused. He obviously wanted to know why I hadn't asked for more.

"Why?" I watched the dust settle on the road where Fielding's SUV had been before saying, "Because the government just told me they have eight burning zones and one that works. They're drowning. They came here not because they want to control me but because they need me to keep doing what I'm already doing so they can focus on the zones where people are actually dying." I set the cold coffee down.

"Squeezing a drowning man for concessions isn't negotiation. It's cruel." Loki was quiet for a moment.

"In Asgard, Odin would have leveraged that desperation for everything it was worth."

"I'm not Odin."

"No. You're considerably worse at negotiation and considerably better at being a decent person." He paused.

"I'm not sure which is more strategically valuable in the long run."

"I'll take 'decent person' and figure out the strategy later." Tala pressed against my head. You could have asked for more. I know. But you didn't want to, she sent back. I wanted to, I sent back. I just didn't think it was right. She was quiet for a moment. That's going to be either your greatest strength or your biggest problem. Probably both. Pierre had been quiet through the whole exchange.

"So we're official," he said.

"We're official. I'm now the recognized sovereign supernatural entity of the Ozark region. And I'm responsible for handling all threats, managing all supernatural activity, and maintaining stability within our zone. All iIn exchange for a gravel path and a phone number."

"That sounds about right for government work," Pierre said, which sadly, was true.

"Yeah." I picked up the agreement and looked at it one more time.

"At least they're not taxing the crystals and they've agreed to leave us alone."

"For now," Tala said out loud.

"Yeah, for now." I folded the agreement and set it on the table. For some reason, I felt like I was missing something, sort of like when I never told Mort to visit the dump instead of stealing from me. Something was nagging at the edge of my consciousness. That was when the other shoe dropped, the one I'd been waiting for. Claire stepped forward with the most evil smile I'd ever seen on her face. She glanced at Loki, and then at me.

"You know, it's funny," she said.

"There's one more thing we need to talk about." Not sure what she meant, I asked, "What do you mean?" For some reason, I knew I wasn't going to like the answer I was about to hear.