Chương 98: A Bird in the Hand

What greeted me when I unfolded the scrap of paper shook me to my core. It was a crude drawing of… a penis. I blinked, thinking maybe something was wrong with my eyes, but when I opened them again the drawing was still there. I closed the paper, then opened it again. Still there. He really chose what could have very likely been the final moment of his life to mess with us? What a dick!

"What does it say?" Vasil asked. I frowned.

"What the hell, Melchior? Why?"

"What is it?" I held the paper for Vasil to see.

"Oh. Hm," he said, eyebrows raised.

"Wait. Something's happening. It's changing." I pulled the paper back and saw the drawing was slowly changing into words. Actually one word and a triangle. PRUDNIK, it said. I scratched the back of my head.

"Interesting. I guess Melchior had a whole bag of tricks up his sleeve. Check this out." I showed Vasil again.

"That is interesting," he said.

"Prudnik is near the Moravian border. It is possible he went there, or that there is something there he wants us to see."

"Any idea what the triangle means?" I asked. He shot me an apologetic look.

"I am afraid I must disappoint you. I am not familiar with that particular symbol."

"Maybe it's the symbol of the resistance!" I said.

"Maybe they have a secret hideout in Prudnik, and that's where they all gather."

"Maybe there's a mountain of treasure there," Kasia chimed in.

"Maybe the triangle represents the mountain." I pointed at her.

"Yes! I like the way you think! That's way better than a secret hideout… unless… Unless the secret hideout is in the treasure mountain! What if, hear me out, it is a mountain of treasure… filled with treasure!" Kasia raised an eyebrow.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Vasil said.

"We do not know what the symbol means, and speculating at this point will not get us closer to the answer. What we need now is for Hecate to decide where we are going next, and on the way there we can perhaps see about those disguise skills and think of a backstory that will hold up under scrutiny."

"Backstory?" I asked.

"Do we really need that? I can just come up with something if someone asks. Which they probably won't." Vasil cocked his head.

"Always think three steps ahead, Hecate. A small amount of preparation can go a long way."

"Alright, alright. So we have three options. One is we just go back to the cathedral. Two is we go check out that trap in Viswa. Three we go to Prudnik and see what that's all about." Vasil considered it for a moment.

"What about the dungeon?"

"I'm not going to that dungeon! They sent a whole army of inquisitors to clear that thing! What if I'm in there, all tired and ugly from clearing it, and then a new load of those jerks pop in. I'd be toast! Or even worse—they'd see me being ugly!" Vasil looked confused.

"That's worse than being dead?"

"Of course. Way worse," I scoffed. In what universe was me being ugly better than me being dead? Seriously, Vasil, get it together.

"Anyway. Them sending an army to the dungeon is likely to happen, since obviously Bogumir and his buddies won't be returning. The Church will probably assume something happened in the dungeon and send more guys to investigate. Then they will find out that they didn't die in the dungeon, and that they wasted their time, but I will be long gone, and not dead or ugly." Vasil nodded.

"Good point." Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon. I returned the nod.

"I knew you'd see reason. It's important to look presentable." His expression went flat and he stared at me for a couple of seconds. Then he looked up at Kasia, who just shrugged. I put a hand on my hip and gave a thumbs up.

"Which is exactly why I believe we should walk into the trap first. Treasure mountain can wait. And the cathedral can wait even longer."

"Um," Kasia said.

"I feel like you skipped the entire explanation of why you want to go to the trap instead of Prudnik."

"Yeah!" I said.

"Yeah?" I inhaled deeply.

"It just smells like." I gave a couple of big sniffs.

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" I grinned.

"It smells like the Viswa trap might have some treasure of its own."

"Hecate…" Kasia said.

"And Viswa is only one letter different from viwa, and the last time we met a viwa she helped us!" Kasia shook her head.

"That's just a coincidence…"

"Is it, Kasia? Is it? I don't believe in coincidences. I think everything happens for a reason. My gut is telling me Viswa is where we should go next, and when I say gut, I mean Mēnē. Like her pull moves the ocean and causes the tides, so does her pull cause the tide in my gut to move for Viswa." She stared at me blankly.

"…What?" I winked.

"I knew you'd understand." I turned around and confidently started marching toward Viswa, fist in the air.

"Alright, gang, let's go! Adventure awaits!" Vasil hopped after me.

"Hecate! Hecate!"

"Now, don't try to convince me otherwise," I said wagging my finger.

"My logic is sound. Viswa is where we're going."

"Viswa is the other way…" I gave him an appreciative smile.

"I knew that. I was just trying to see if you knew that. Congratulations, you have passed my test. Try to stay focused when we're at Viswa. Things could get dangerous."

"Things are always dangerous, no matter where we are," he said.

"Dangerouser, then. Speaking of dangerouser—I have six unassigned stat points I should assign somewhere."

"I thought you said you gained five levels?"

"Well, yeah. I did."

"Five times three is fifteen." Vasil stopped hopping.

"So what happened to the rest?"

"I assigned them, of course."

"When did you do that?"

"While the inquisitors were talking I figured I might as well assign my stat points and choose some new skills. I didn't think they'd mind." He looked incredulous now.

"You're telling me that during a fight against elite church inquisitors sent to clear an extremely dangerous dungeon, you were assigning stat points? While vastly outnumbered?" I shrugged.

"Yeah. Like I said, they were talking, it felt like a good moment to go over them. I also selected a new skill since there was time to spare." He grabbed his head with both hands.

"You could have died! Are you crazy?" I rolled my eyes.

"Gosh, Vasil. Why are you always so dramatic? How many times have I died? Exactly zero times, that's how many. Besides, I took [Generous Gift] because it looked like I was going to be getting a bunch of kills, and that damage bonus seriously adds up. I didn't want to miss out on that. I did miss out on collecting Bogumir's hands, and I'm kind of bummed about that." I paused, taking a moment to ruminate on the great injustice that befell upon me in the collapsing inn.

"And I only had time to get one of the tank's hands. And the runestones are gone as well. Vasil, you're making me depressed!"

"There is no need to be depressed. Sometimes playing it safe is the best course of action. There will be times when you must forgo potential upgrades. You secured four heads. That is double what you had. That is a victory. Celebrate it. Do not punish yourself for what might have been. You survived against greater numbers and came out stronger."

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush," Kasia said.

"What am I going to do with a bird?" I asked.

"I need runestones! I need hands! I need heads! Unless there is some kind of [Birdhunter] skill you didn't tell me about. Or should I start shooting birds and collect their heads? Is that a thing? If I could collect the head of a bear I should be able to collect the head of a bird, right?" I looked up and scanned the sky, just in case any volunteers were circling overhead. To my great joy, there were several. I squinted and carefully aimed one of my revolvers. Obviously I didn't want to damage the head.

Kasia put her hand on my arm and slowly pushed it down.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"It's a proverb, I didn't mean go shoot birds."

"I know it's a proverb, but your idea was great. Who knows what untold power those bird heads hold?"

"Probably not a lot," she said.

"They're just birds." She was probably right. They weren't even big birds. I had glimpsed the glorious horizon of limitless power and had let myself get carried away again.

"Yeah," I said.

"But if you see a dragon let me know 'cause I'm totally grabbing that head."

"Silesia is not exactly known for its overflowing dragon population," Vasil said.

"But there are some?"

"Only three have ever been recorded that I am aware of."

"Good. So keep an eye out."

"No one has ever been able to slay one."

"Guess they didn't try hard enough. They also said no one was able to kill the Swamp Devil, and look what happened to that guy." Vasil conceded with a slight nod.

"True. Speaking of heads, have you bothered to inspect your new ones yet?" I pulled a random head out of my satchel. It was Jerzy's.

"I haven't. Totally forgot about them."

"You've been talking about heads for the past fifteen minutes."

"Not these heads. Let's see what my cute little friends can do." I turned Jerzy in my hand and wrinkled my nose.

"My cute little friends and Jerzy." Jerzy looked at me like he wanted to scream. The ugly, gap-toothed kind.