Chương 113: A Simple Green

Vasil did the eye moving thing again, which let me know he was rapidly browsing through his list of skills. He probably didn't have as many skills to choose from as I had, but he likely still had a stupid amount. Which was nice, but not nice at the same time. It makes choosing the right ones harder. When his eyes finally stopped moving he said, "It appears many of my skills scale with level."

"Good that you're finally getting some levels then," I said.

"I agree. I found another one that might help with the mouth size limitation. It's called [Resize]."

"You have two skills that make your mouth bigger? That's unexpected."

"Something like that. It allows me to resize my entire body. I can shrink or grow. The amount scales with level."

"Take that then!" He gave a nod.

"Done. That leaves one open skill point." A devilish grin spread across my face.

"Now change into a horse-sized frog."

"Why?" Vasil asked, confused. Kasia snorted. She probably already knew where I was going with this.

"You'd be a lot faster," I said.

"And me and Kasia could ride you. It would be efficient energy-wise." He narrowed his eyes.

"You tricked me." I shrugged, still grinning.

"You tricked yourself." Vasil grumbled a bit.

"Come on!" I said.

"Let's see how big you can get!" He blew some air out of his nose.

"Very well." He adjusted his weight, then slowly he started growing. He only got slightly bigger before he stopped.

"Keep going!" I said.

"We won't be able to ride you when you're this small."

"That's as far as it goes." I poked him.

"You're lying. Keep going. You just don't want us to ride you."

"I am not lying. It scales with level."

"Oh, man, you got scammed. This skill sucks. Try to see how small you can get." He shrunk, now slightly smaller than before. An idea hit me.

"This isn't great, but I could see some uses. You can probably fit in someone's mouth now, and if you grow a bit it would be very annoying for them. They might even choke. Once you gain levels you might even make their head explode by massively expanding while you're in their mouth!" A faint smile appeared on his lips.

"How do you think I managed to get Jerzy to release you?"

"I don't know. I couldn't see."

"Bogumir was still holding me, so I jumped into Jerzy's mouth."

"Wow, haha. So that was why he was making that sound. I have to be honest, I didn't expect that from you. I thought you'd be too dignified for something like that." His smile turned lopsided.

"You inspired me." Was he implying I was undignified? Was he judging me? I stared at him, trying to decide if I should be offended or if he was trying to compliment me. I crossed my arms.

"I'm going to take that as a compliment, Vasil." Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

"Please do," he said, inclining his head.

"Now you only have one free skill point. Maybe you should look into something like stretchy tongue or something that makes your tongue longer. Then you can steal stuff from people. Hear me out here. Someone is coming at me with a sword, and you're like: 'not today, brigand!' or whatever old people word you'd use. And then you'd grab the sword with your tongue and steal it and store inside yourself." Vasil blinked slowly.

"Why would I say anything?"

"Really, Vasil? To confuse them, of course. No one expects a frog to talk. You know what people expect even less? To get robbed by a talking frog. While you rob and confuse them, I shoot them in the face… or somewhere else if they have a good-looking head." I saw him thinking about it, kind of nodding to himself.

"Hmm. It would synergize well with the skills I already possess. And with my class."

"Exactly!" I snapped my fingers.

"Think of all the stuff you could steal for us! You could even trip people with your tongue. That would be super annoying for them as well! I'm starting to see a lot of different uses for that tongue of yours." Then I got another idea.

"You could also get like poison skin or something if you plan on hopping into a lot of mouths. Then I wouldn't have to kill anyone, because you'd be doing that. Might even get yourself more experience that way." He looked down at himself.

"I am not sure if that ability matches the type of frog I am. Usually those types are brightly colored. I am a simple green." I rolled my eyes.

"You're a [Frogbag], I highly doubt those 'rules' apply to you."

"You have a point," he admitted.

"My class already breaks several laws of nature simply by its existence."

"I'm wondering if poison skin is the best option right now, though. You'd probably need some kind of super jump skill for that to be effective, unless you could just rub against people and poison them like that. If they're wearing armor it might not work, and we don't see that many naked people." I thought back to the viwa, in all her bare glory.

"At least not ones that want to kill us. Damn it. I should have really gotten that dress."

"What? What dress?" Vasil asked.

"She's probably thinking about the viwa," Kasia said.

"Yeah," I said, disappointed in myself. I could have looked like a beautiful, elegant woman in a beautiful, flowing white dress. I still looked like a beautiful, elegant woman, of course. Just not one with a beautiful, flowing white dress. I bet it would have looked so good on me, too. I sighed.

"You think we should go back?"

"Back where?" Vasil asked.

"She's probably thinking about going back to the viwa to get her dress," Kasia said. He shook his head.

"No, I do not think we should go back there."

"You just told me I should slow down. Take it easier. Now I'm trying to take it easy you tell me it's a bad idea. Make up your mind!"

"I am not sure robbing a viwa of her dress could be considered taking it easy."

"Robbing?" I scoffed.

"I wouldn't rob her! I'm no thief! I would ask her politely to reconsider. Perhaps offer her some coin and buy it from her. Maybe I could persuade her by offering her Mateusz's head, or Vulkan's."

"Hey!" Bogumir said.

"Leave Vulkan alone! You can't trade his head for a dress!"

"Why not? It's not like he's using it," I said, then burst out laughing.

"Because he's—" I laughed again.

"Because—" I laughed even harder. By the Goddess, it should be illegal to be this funny. I was laughing so hard I couldn't even get the words out. Kasia and Vasil both gave me a disapproving look, ruining my mood.

"Ah, whatever," I said.

"I forgot you Silesians hate fun and jokes."

"It's because you're not funny," Bogumir said. I gasped, clutching my heart." Excuse me?! What did you just say?"

"I said, you're not funny."

"Alright, I have another joke. Get ready. Are you ready?"

"I don't want to hear it."

"Too bad." I paused for dramatic effect.

"Vulkan, more like Vul-can't! Ahahahaha!" Kasia snorted, unable to contain herself. Got her! Vasil shook his head. Lame.

"God, you suck," Bogumir said.

"That's the kind of joke my father would make. My father also sucked. He also beat me." I gave him an affectionate head-scratch.

"Sounds like me and your dad have a lot in common. Not the sucking part, of course. Did he also complain as much as you do, or did you get that from your mother?"

"You—""Ahem," Vasil interrupted.

"There were several tongue skills. I decided to go with [Powerful Tongue]. It both strengthens my tongue and allows it to extend further. Interestingly it scales with level." Why was that interesting?

"I thought you said most of your skills scale with level?"

"Well, I would assume something that strengthens something would scale with Strength." I shrugged.

"Alright." Bogumir groaned.

"Can we move on to Viswa, or wherever it is you're going?"

"Go on then," I said.

"I'm not stopping you, Bogberry."

"You fucking… Bogberry?" he asked, anger turning into confusion. I scratched the back of my head.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know where I was going with that. I was just trying something new. It, uh, sounded better in my head."

"I will pay you whatever you want if you'll just kill me."

"Nah. I'm no killer. You got me all wrong, Bogumir. And I can't kill you yet, because I have a question. One that maybe you or Vasil can answer."

"More questions?" Vasil asked.

"Yeah, back in town, after I killed… uh… took care of Bogumir's friends. After I liberated the village from injustice and everyone was clapping for me. Yeah. After that, I got a System message."

"You did?"

"Yes, out of nowhere. It said 'You have crossed the 10 believer threshold. You can now see how many believers you have.' And it said I had eleven believers. You ever hear of something like that? Do you know what it could mean?"