Chương 97: Saint Hecate, the Generous

"Huh?" I asked, confused. When did I become Saint Hecate?

"Well, of course we are very grateful for what you did for us and our children, and I don't mean to judge, but we were just wondering what you were doing," the man said.

"Oh. This?" I asked, pointing at the hands.

"Yes. And the heads." I tossed the hands in the direction of Vasil, then moved on to sword-guy.

"You see, the heads are something of a warning. Perhaps more like a promise." I pointed at the head on my belt.

"You mess with me? You mess with the people of Silesia? Your head's going on my belt. Assuming there's enough of it left to hang, of course. The heads of my enemies have a tendency to explode around me for some mysterious reason." I shot him a charming smile and inclined my head. He frowned, then slowly nodded.

"I see. That makes sense. I would once again like to thank you for what you're doing. These are tough times, and well…"

"My pleasure," I said, then shot the sword-guy's hands off.

"And the hands?" the man asked.

"Oh these are just for upgrading skills. They're pretty good actually, depending on your class, of course. Actually…" I held up one of the hands.

"Can I offer you a nice hand in this trying time?" The man took a step back. He looked unsure how to respond. I offered the hand again.

"Take it. I don't mind. I have plenty." The man's eyes flicked between the hand and my face several times.

"I—Uh…" I guessed he felt this gift was too valuable, which was why he was hesitant. I mean, it was a great gift, of course, but I figured these people had been through enough, and my father always told me to lend a hand whenever someone was in need. I figured giving was better than lending, so why not let this poor man keep the hand and use it to upgrade one of his own skills.

"I... I am not worthy of such a... relic, Saint Hecate."

"Nonsense!" I said, pressing the hand into his arms. The man's face turned white and he held the hand far away.

"Try it!" I said, nodding enthusiastically.

"Try upgrading a skill."

"I couldn't," he said.

"Oh please, don't be shy. It's my gift to you!" He opened his mouth, but didn't say anything. He looked at the hand, then mumbled something I didn't quite hear. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"Wow! This can't be… Is this? Can I?" I inclined my head again.

"Of course." The hand disappeared with a plop. The man had tears in his eyes now and dropped to his knees in front of me.

"Thank you, Saint Hecate, I am not worthy of your generosity."

"Aww, it's nothing, really," I said.

"Just trying to help." I glanced around at the inquisitor corpses littering the street.

"You know, inquisitor hands are great for upgrading skills. Perhaps their feet too." I gestured at sword-guy's body.

"You can take his stuff too. Actually, you can tell everyone in town about this. You guys can have all their gear. Including that sword of his. And tell everyone there is nothing better to upgrade your skills with than inquisitor parts. Especially heads and hands. It blows any item out of the water. It's a little gross, I know, but you get used to it after a while. And they are baby-eaters, so there's no reason to feel bad. And you're the good guys, so you deserve it. The upgrades, I mean."

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere. The man's expression changed. The fear was completely gone now, replaced by resolve.

"You are right. Of course you are. I understand."

"Exactly. You're doing this for the babies," I said.

"For Silesia." He bowed so deep his head touched the dirt.

"Thank you. Thank you. I can't thank you enough." He got up and sprinted to a small group of villagers who were watching us.

"The Saint has spoken!" I heard him say. What he said after that I couldn't hear, but he was wildly gesturing all over the place, and the villagers were nodding along excitedly, punctuating his sentences with oohs and ahs. I went back to Vasil and Kasia and dropped the hand on the pile.

"That was the last of them."

"Masterful," Vasil said.

"Huh?"

"By telling the people the best way to upgrade their skills is offering an inquisitor head, you have made every inquisitor a target for those looking to rise up in power, and those simply looking to protect their family. I'm impressed by how quickly you took my think three steps ahead advice to heart."

"Oh. Uh. Yeah. That was totally why I told him that." Vasil nodded.

"It's even possible that the Church will think this group of inquisitors died in the dungeon since I doubt there will be much left of them after what you told the villagers. Of course, that is still unlikely. And they will probably find out what happened. Someone always talks." I shrugged.

"Doesn't really matter, does it? I gained some levels. We got some loot, and there are a couple less assholes in the world. The Church will still be after me, and that's fine. I like free stuff, and I need the levels. Speaking of levels. Did you gain any?"

"I did. Three levels, actually."

"Hmm. I gained five. I guess you weren't close enough for a couple of the kills. That's too bad. Still, three levels in a single day, I'd call that a win. Especially since you were kind of lazy with the leveling before."

"I told you I—" I waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah. Did you take a mouth stretching skill?" He looked at me, but didn't say anything. I pointed at the pile of hands.

"I would carry them all, but they don't fit in my satchel. I'm sure you understand."

"You can't seriously expect me to store a bunch of hands inside of myself." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"It would be efficient space-wise. I am merely considering the needs of the party, Vasil. Your comfort is, of course, a secondary concern to our efficiency." Vasil grumbled, then said, "Fine. I really need to be more careful with what I say to you."

"You should always think three steps ahead," I replied with a grin.

"Now open up, please." Vasil opened his mouth, now quite a bit wider than was possible before. It was currently big enough to fit a hand comfortably, though not much more.

"Is that as far as it goes?" I asked.

"It scales with level," he said. Good to know. I tossed the pile of hands in there, including the one in my satchel. I nodded to Kasia.

"The jewelry and the marble too. Might as well."

"What about the Staff?" she asked.

"That too." Kasia walked over to the staff, grabbed it, and put it inside of Vasil's mouth. I probably should have taken sword-guy's sword, seeing as we could actually carry it now, but unfortunately I'd already told the villager he could have it. Oh, well. I'd definitely find something better to offer to upgrade my skills anyway, and these villagers clearly needed it a lot more than I did. I looked around and noticed there were more villagers around than before.

Several people were pulling gear from the inquisitor corpses. Other's were chopping the undressed bodies up, handing out pieces to enthusiastic bystanders. I also heard several plops followed by excited squeals. These people sure didn't wait around. Which made sense. Anyone who didn't immediately jump at this opportunity would miss out on a life-changing upgrade. If they had been offering junk before, the difference in upgrade type and quality would probably be incredible.

Of course, it wouldn't be as life changing as one million gold, but it's not like they would be able to collect that anyway, me being me. These people weren't fighters, they were just regular people trying to live their lives. The Church had made that a lot harder for them, and I was giving them a way out, or at least a chance of some improvement. I just hoped the Church wouldn't retaliate against them for what I'd done.

"Now what?" Kasia asked. I tapped my chin.

"Hmm. First we decide where to go next, then on the way there we can check out the stuff we got. I also have a bunch of free skill points that I should probably assign sooner rather than later." I gestured at my face.

"Maybe not the best idea to be walking around with my face exposed like this."

"So… where we going?" The paper Melchior had slipped Kasia popped back in my mind.

"Wait a second. What was on that paper Melchior gave you?" She pulled it out and handed it to me.

"I don't know, I didn't look. I can't read."

"We should do something about that," I said.

"Vasil, do you think you can teach her when we have some downtime?"

"Of course," he said.

"I'd be happy to." Kasia smiled.

"Thank you, Vasil." I unfolded the paper to see what Melchior had tried telling us before he jumped through his portal and disappeared to Goddess knows where.