Chương 109: Someone Call the Midwife

"Cool-ass bullet?" Kasia asked.

"It's, uh, Graecian slang," I answered.

"It means a super cool bullet."

"Doesn't sound very cool." Damn. Lost some cool points with Kasia. Now I even had to worry about the way I talked. Obviously I didn't want Kasia to think I was lame and talked stupid. I could try to save myself by saying something clever, but that would be another gamble. What if whatever I said also sounded dumb? I had to come up with something fast, which increased the risk of me blurting out something silly. I'd already been running it through my mind for a couple of seconds now and time was rapidly running out.

Why am I like this? I started to sweat. Say something cool!

"B-bullet!" I yelled. Damn it! What the hell was that? Kasia raised an eyebrow.

"Bullet?" By the Goddess. I was lame! I felt my lame soul try to escape my lame body, probably in search of someone cooler to inhabit, not realizing it was part of the problem. Worst of all was now I had to respond with something again, but I didn't know what. Why the hell did I say 'bullet'? How in the world do I respond? By Her Pale Grace, I was doing it again! No! Panic rising, I grabbed my hair with both hands. Explain yourself, you moron! Say something that makes sense!

Quick before she thinks you've lost your mind again.

"BABIES!" I screamed, sweat running down my back. Vasil tilted his head. Kasia's eyebrow went up higher, reaching impossible heights.

"She's lost her marbles!" Bogumir exclaimed.

"No! No! I haven't!" I said as I wiped the sweat from my face.

"I haven't! Shut up, or you're going in my bag! Or in the [Frogbag]!"

"What the hell is a [Frogbag]? She's insane! Get me out of here!" My eyes flicked between Kasia and Vasil.

"No! I was just! I was just trying to explain what I was going to do! I swear I'm not crazy. Or dumb. Or lame. I'm cool. Not cool-ass, but regular cool!" Now I really felt like crying… or dying. Or both. I looked at Kasia and imagined she probably regretted coming along now. She probably thought I lost my mind again, when in reality I was just a bumbling idiot, so desperate to say something to impress her that I kept doing the opposite. I took in a deep breath. I can salvage this. I coughed into my fist.

"As I was trying to say before Bogumir rudely interrupted me—Bullet babies." I raised a hand.

"Let me finish. I was just trying to explain things in a simple way so the people here of lesser intelligence—" I coughed again.

"Bogumir." Cough.

"Think of the bullet as the mother."

"Lesser intelligence?!" he said, affronted.

"Think of the essence as the baby. I put the baby in the mother with [Ballistics Expert]. Then I shoot the bullet and the essence activates as soon as it hits its target, like a baby being born." I gave Bogumir a nod.

"Do you understand?"

"Look, you fucking psychopath, that is the most convoluted bullshit I ever heard in my life. The fuck kind of explanation is that? Why wouldn't I understand something as simple as enchanting bullets? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Now, now," I said, patting him on the head.

"No need to be embarrassed. If you want I can explain it again."

"Fuck you!" I tutted.

"Now, Bogey, someone once told me it's not wise to antagonize your captor. Especially not after they graciously try to explain something that you're having trouble understanding." This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it. His face scrunched up, but he didn't say anything. I glanced at Kasia, who was biting her cheek. She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then snorted a laugh. At that I felt the stress leave my body. I survived.

Cheerfully humming, I opened the System again, hoping it really was possible to simply apply the essence to a bullet. I quickly glanced over the options, noticing that a lot more was possible than I had first imagined. From the looks of it I would be able to create bullets using magic, and wouldn't need a forge or anvil or any tools. This skill was so ridiculously overpowered, it was insane. It made me wonder if my father even needed an anvil, or why he would use one. Maybe using one gave extra bonuses?

That was probably it. I had no idea, really. I actually don't think you use an anvil to make bullets. Whatever. Anyway. One of the options was called 'Imbue', which looked like it might be what I was looking for. I opened it up to see if I was right. [Imbue: You may sacrifice an item to transfer its properties onto a projectile.] I felt a grin slowly spread over my face until it was so big it actually started to hurt. A single tear rolled down my cheek. A happy tear. A tear of appreciation.

"Hecate?" Kasia said, concerned.

"I'm alright. It's just so beautiful." I took a steadying breath.

"To think all this time this skill was out there, and I didn't even know. It's making me a little emotional."

"What is it?" Vasil asked.

"I can sacrifice an item to transfer its properties onto a bullet." Vasil's mouth fell open.

"Ridiculous," Bogumir said.

"That's impossible."

"Maybe for Stvora, the Not So Great, but for Ambelios, and now, for me, it is very possible." I pulled out a bullet and held it in my hand, then sacrificed the essence. The marble vanished, and the bullet went from metallic to a slightly yellowish, glowing, milky color. I inserted it into the cylinder of the revolver with Jerzy's head.

"Check this out," I said as I aimed for a large tree. I squeezed off a shot and the bullet went straight for it. A thunderous boom tore through the forest as it struck. The entire trunk ripped free of the earth, roots exploding from the ground. The tree hurled forward, smashing through others, snapping them apart as it went.

"What the hell was that?" Bogumir said.

"That wasn't [Push]!" Vasil and Kasia were staring at me with their mouths open. I knew they weren't hunting for insects—they were shocked.

"Hecate?" Vasil asked.

"Yeah?"

"What is your Attunement currently?"

"134, why?"

"[Push] scales with Attunement."

"Oh yeah? I guess putting all those points in Attunement was a pretty good idea then." I quickly cast [Reload] so I wouldn't lose my freshly crafted [Push] bullet, and a slightly ghostlier looking copy of it reappeared in my cylinder. I scanned the area for an even fatter tree, hoping to see just how strong this was. When I found one, I fired off another shot. The same loud boom was heard, but this time the impact didn't send the tree flying. Instead, the trunk detonated.

The roots held, but the wood couldn't handle the violent force of the [Push]. The middle of the tree disintegrated into a cloud of splinters and sawdust, leaving nothing but a jagged stump and a rain of timber falling from the sky.

"How?!" Bogumir asked.

"You already used the bullet!"

"Witchcraft," I said in a spooky voice, waggling my fingers at him. I cast [Reload] again. This opened up so many possibilities. Trash items could suddenly become useful. I could craft bullets for every occasion. What if I found something that had a cleaning spell on it? If I shot a bullet at some dirty dishes, would it clean them or destroy them? What about a healing spell? Could I heal people by shooting them? Could I heal myself? That would be amazing!

"I think this changes things," Kasia said. I nodded.

"This changes everything. I can see millions of applications for this, and the ones I haven't even imagined yet must be even better."

"Do be careful with that one," Vasil said.

"The amount of force it generates is frankly ridiculous. If it could send a tree of that size flying, I can only imagine what that would do to a person."

"They'd definitely cover a lot more distance than the tree."

"True, and it might also liquefy their internal organs. Shatter their bones."

"Even better!" I said.

"What are you?" Bogumir asked. I shrugged.

"I'm just a girl. One with 134 Attunement and a bunch of babies to deliver to the next inquisitor that looks at me funny." Kasia grinned and rolled her eyes. Vasil just looked at me flatly.

"Right. If you are done playing midwife, perhaps it is time to look into those disguise skills."

"Just one more?" I asked sweetly. Vasil shook his head.

"Must you destroy the entire forest? What have these trees ever done to you? What if those trees had nests with baby birds? What if the tree fell on a cute animal?" Wow. Way to make me feel bad. He knew I'd never be able to harm a cute animal, and involving them wasn't very nice of him. He wasn't wrong, though, I shouldn't cause more damage, just in case.

"Alright," I said.

"Let me open up the Skill menu again."