Chương 150: Chapter 140-Chosen Experiments

Smelly Doug once told me that a chicken isn't safe until you crapped it out. Confused? Yeah, so was I. How is a chicken supposed to be safe when you crap it out? Well, he explained it like this. You got a plate of chicken from the garbage. Don't know how long it's been there or why it was [Thrown] away. It could be that the chicken was bad, undercooked, or hells, it could be that the people who [Threw] it away just didn't like the taste. Some people even add a little poison to their food after they [Throw] it out.

It's supposed to kill the varmints that may come around, including us homeless. What I'm trying to say is that you don't know if that plate of chicken is safe to eat until you've gotten it out of your system, or in the words of Smelly Doug, until you crapped it out. Another way to put is… What is another way to put it?

"CJ, are you ready?" Hopper asks as he aims his bow at me.

"Oh yeah. I'm ready," I say, putting my hand out. Penelope sighs as she sits behind Hopper.

"As much as I would like to see you shoot him. Have you considered another method that doesn't involve a trip to the infirmary?"

"No, when I [Gambled], I specified that Hopper would shoot me," I remind her.

"Why?" Hopper tilts his head.

"Huh? Why did you specify that I had to shoot you?"

"... Huh. It's too late now, but I'm sure I had a good reason. Just shoot me," I [Lie] as I hold my hand out. Penelope shakes her head in disappointment as Hopper pulls back the bowstring. Readying myself, I wait for the piercing pain that is soon to come. It shouldn't be too bad if I know it's coming. I hope.

"Are we really sure we want to do this? Shouldn't we get somebody who can heal the wound first?" Hopper asks as he lowers the bow.

"Hopper, we've already talked about this. If I'm right, I shouldn't need any healing," I say with a hint of annoyance. Penelope stands up and draws her greatsword.

"Fine, I'll do it." With a hint of fear, I back away.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Don't you come near me with that greatsword."

"I thought you wanted to get hurt," she says with a hint of hidden glee.

"I specified Hopper. Hopper!" An arrow stabs through my hand. Penelope and I look at it and then back at Hopper.

"What? You wanted me to shoot you, right?" he asks. The pain ripples through me. That fucking hurt! Dropping to my knees, I feel the pulsing of my heart through my hand. Then something odd happens. A rush of mana flows through me along with a sudden bout of healing. The skin on my hand begins to heal around the arrow. Wait!

"Penelope, the arrow!" Penelope, without hesitation, grabs the arrow and rips it out of my hand. The crippling pain is soon replaced with a soothing warmth. The hole in my hand slowly closes, leaving behind not even a scratch. Huh, I guess that did work. Good to know. Penelope looks down at me.

"So, what did you get from that? Other than getting shot with an arrow."

"A lot, actually. I [Gambled] that I would be shot by Hopper in the next hour. Which, thanks to Hopper, I was able to get done. Although he could've warned me before he did it," I say with a hint of anger.

"Sorry, but would you rather I let Penelope cut off your arm?" he asks.

"Yes," Penelope says with a smile.

"No! Anyway, I learned that I can put a time limit on [Gamble], which adds to the reward. I also learned that the healing will go over embedded objects," I explain as I gesture at my now healed hand.

"That's interesting," Penelope says as she grabs my hand.

"Look all you want. Not even a scratch," I say as she traces my palm with her fingers.

"Hmm. Your hands are rougher than I thought, but the wound really is gone. How tricky of you. Exactly what I would expect from you, Charlatan," she says, tracing the grooves of my hand.

"You're one to talk. Your fingers are soft and dainty. You would expect them to be rougher given how you fight," I say in confusion.

"Just because I can easily topple a Giant doesn't mean I'm not a woman. I have to keep in mind my looks after all," she says with a hint of indignation.

"The women of the north aren't worried about that," Hopper says as he gives me an odd look.

"Well, everyone is different, but at the very least, I care about how I look. Also, I wouldn't say that in front of Luna," she says as her fingers continue to explore mine. When is she going to realise that she's still messing with my hand? Is she doing it on purpose, or is there something I'm missing? No, there's no way she's doing this on purpose. I'm sure she just hasn't noticed yet, and if that's the case… With my other hand, I gently grab hers and begin to drag my fingers across her hand.

This should get her attention.

"Why not? It's not like she would mind," Hopper says as he sits down on the bench. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

"What you basically said was that the ladies of the north don't take care of themselves," she explains as I trace the edge of her palm.

"That's not what I meant. They are plenty beautiful, including Luna," he says with a hint of embarrassment.

"Then you should change up your wording. Instead, say that the ladies of the north aren't worried about that because they're beautiful without even trying. Although that still might get you some ruffled feathers," Penelope says as she continues to explore my fingers with hers.

"Okay, I get it, but can we talk about why the two of you are grabbing each other's hands?" he asks.

"We are not-" Penelope says and then suddenly stops as she realizes the situation before her.

"What? You were the one who started it," I say with a hint of embarrassment gracing my face. Penelope pulls her hand away.

"I did not," she says as the tips of Half-Elf ears redden.

"Yes, you did."

"No, I did not." Hopper sighs as he looks over at us.

"This doesn't look constructive."

"It's not," Penelope and I say in unison.

"I'm going to be late to club. Try not to kill each other," Hopper says as he hops away.

"You were obviously the one who was holding my hand. I would never initiate such vulgarities with you," Penelope says as she sits on the bench.

"Say what you want, but we both know the truth," I say as I plop down next to her.

"And what truth is that, one who lies as easily as he breathes?"

"First of all, that's rude. That title doesn't even fit me. Second of all, the truth that you're flirting with me," I [Lie] even easier than I breathe. Penelope shakes her head in disappointment.

"Oh please, you wish I was trying to court you, Charlatan. Isn't it the other way around? You're the one trying to court me."

"Don't think so highly of yourself, Penelope. If I were trying to flirt with you, it would be a lot more obvious, and it would be working."

"Really? More obvious than it already is? Just admit it. You're not fooling anyone," Penelope says as she twirls one of her drills.

"You really want me to show you? I don't know. Wouldn't want you to fall for me," I [Taunt] as I look around at the Gazebo.

"I would never fall for you just through flirting. You'd have to do something big for me… Never mind."

"No. No. No. What were you about to say?" I ask as our shoulders bump together.

"Nothing worth saying. I have Tea Club today. I'll see you later," she abruptly says as she leaves the clearing. With a sigh, I shake my head.

"What am I doing?" I whisper to myself.

"Failing poorly?" Yellow asks.

"Wasn't asking you, Yellow," I say with a hint of annoyance.

"Perhaps you should take a different approach," Blue recommends.

"Different approach to what? I'm just talking to her. Nothing more," I [Lie].

"Of course you are, but I assume you wanted to ask her if she could figure anything out about Ashfall. Isn't that right?" Yellow says with a condescending tone.

"No, that would be a bad idea," I say as I walk over to the tiny stream near the gazebo.

"… She's your only source into the Palace. Why wouldn't you ask her about Ashfall?" Yellow asks.

"He doesn't want to use her," Blue says as I [Throw] a rock into the stream.

"Listen, she's my friend. I'm not about to ask her for a favor that I know would make her feel bad. Plus, it's not like I need her to get into the Palace. I have my own way in," I say as I look across the empty area.

"I will warn you that this path will be perilous," Blue adds.

"But you'll come with me, right?" I ask with a devilish smile.

"Of course," Blue answers.

"It's not like we have a choice. Wherever you go, we follow. That is, until we can find The Chosen One," Yellow reminds me.

"Yeah. Yeah. You know you like me," I [Taunt]."'Like' is a strong word. Tolerate would be the one closer to reality," Yellow fires back.

"He's not wrong," Black chimes in, along with most of the other Chosen Ones.

"Wow! I see how it is," I say, feigning sadness.

"Don't take it too hard. It's just that we don't feel great around you," Pink says.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well-""Pink, perhaps it is best if you stop speaking," Black cuts her off. The gems on The Chosen Blade glow dull, all except one.

"We feel an uneasiness from you anytime you hold the blade. It's not dangerous, but it does feel repugnant," Blue says.

"Blue, maybe we should get Brown to give your ears a check-up. We are not discussing that topic," Black says with a serious tone.

"There's no point in keeping it from him. It's not like-""We are done with this conversation, Blue. Perhaps we should speak in private," Black says as the blade goes quiet. Well, that was weird. I'm not quite sure what that was about, but I get the feeling it was about me. Also, I knew they could talk without me knowing. I wonder if they talk about me often. Oh, who am I kidding? That's probably the only thing they talk about. Now, enough about that. On to the plan. Step one is simple.

Get into the Palace without using Penelope. Should be as easy as pie. Gods, I'm already regretting this. Welp, no point in crying over spilled milk. Time to get to work.