Chương 707: Day Seven Hundred And Five

Dear Diary, So today I got a reminder that while my ladies, especially Saffron, are more than okay with my whole 'Revel with my faithful' thing, it is not quite the norm here and now. Of course, Siobhan, Marie, and above all Saffron are fully on board with it, and based on some shared memories Siobhan and Marie spent some time in the Bedroom watching recently, with Murder Mittens making my Darling able to appreciate my amorous adventures in the most delightful of ways. Seriously, Marie's got Skills.

Speaking of Skills, once Saffron puts her new Inspect in place, I'm tempted to ask each and every one of my ladies to let me Inspect them. The most adulty part of my brain tells me that I want that so I can more effectively support and protect my loving lovely ladies. My inner chaos gremlin wants to know in order to more effectively wreak havoc with them.

My inner moppet would normally just be super curious to know about them, but somehow that little Tomoko looking freak has decided that it would totally be like X-ray shades to see through their clothing, only deeper. Yeah, okay, new achievement get, I have successfully made myself go 'what the fuck, Diaz'.

Because even though looking at somebody's abstracted numeric statistics should be just, I dunno, the ultimate in objective, rational, boring yet intimate way to get to know them better, the part of me permanently and intimately aware of my own intimate parts has fixated utterly on that one word, intimate, to the point that I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to Inspect my ladies without carting them off to the Bedroom after. Or going there myself for some single player mode if they're not in the mood.

Because while I don't think Marie would actually leave me hanging if I got all anxious and in need of climax, I also don't think she'd leave me hanging if she were actively disinterested, and... I don't want that.

Sure, I'm down for her joining in because we think she's hot and we want to watch her shudder and twitch and because of all that we seduced her, and I don't think I could actively say 'no' if she offered to flip my lady switch until word salad poured out my mouth, even if I thought she was doing it entirely for me, but I don't want her forcing herself. I don't want to be a chore.

But yeah, my horny sense is tingling at the thought of getting to fire off Saffron's new Inspect, and even I can tell that's multiple kinds of stupid. I'd whap myself on the forehead with a horny bat if I had one and thought it would do any good. Shit, at this point I'd probably do it even if I didn't think it would do any good, because, as noted, what the fuck, Diaz? So yesterday at the end of the day I had a big-assed cauldron of gumbo to take home.

Easily enough for me and the ladies and the kids, but maybe a little too little when the women were added into the picture. So I brought home some baked mashed pumpkin casserole. Something Marie and I knocked together out of pumpkin, butter, and brown sugar, plus some pie spice. Sad thing, I can't really check whether pie spices ought to go in something by scent, because I can barely smell them any more. Something, something, something, can't smell my own natural scent.

Right before I left, Jack looked at me and said, "will you be back tonight?" I shook my head.

"Got a Revel at the Temple."

"Doesn't your wife need sleep more than every other night, though?" He could have been judgey, but mostly he just sounded curious. I shook my head.

"Nah. She's not coming tonight. I mean, she might be, but that'll be at home with Marie or Siobhan, not at the Temple." That got me a look from both Jack and Adrienne.

"So you're going to be at a Revel without your spouse?" I shrugged.

"Weirded me out a little too at first, but honestly they're all down with it. They also know they're welcome to join, but," I sighed, "I really can't justify them getting more than one ride per rotation, except on special occasions like birthdays or something like that." They both stared at me, looking kinda gobsmacked.

"I mean, they get me the other three weeks of the month. I'd say 'exclusive access', except that'd be a lie, what with my Kitten getting off, sometimes literally, on stress testing my hoo-hah. And... you guys aren't copacetic with that?" They both sat there imitating fish for a bit. Finally Jack said, "you don't expect the two of us to do that, do you?" I shrugged.

"I mean, that depends on what you mean by 'that'. I don't really expect you to be banging all of Jackville, although I am not the kind of hypocritical asshole who would judge you if you did. Entirely up to the two of you, really. But if by 'that' you meant working out a way for Adrienne to, y'know, 'be your Jill' without me having to find Primordials to eat to put her back together whenever she winds up offing herself, so the two of you could make the beast with two backs the way you both seem to want to?

Yeah, I kinda do expect you to do that. Wait," as they both hit peak 'what the fuck, Diaz' at the same time, I realized something.

"Are you two Ace? Are either of you Ace? My gaydar isn't anywhere near the best, and I sure as shit can't spot somebody who isn't into sex at all. Okay, Conrad, but he's both my son and the most flamboyantly Ace person I've ever met." Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

"Ace?" Adrienne blurted out the question.

"Asexual?" I guess the term wasn't universal here. Jack got a huffy look.

"I assure you, my member is fully functional." Then he muttered, "even if I haven't used it for a century or so." Yeah, definitely realized that Adrienne wasn't Ace from the look on her face when he said that.

"My... my womb is also functional." I rolled my eyes at both of them, because they were so straight it was painful.

"First, your vajayjay is more pertinent to sex than your uterus, and second, I'm talking about orientation, not gender." They both stared at me.

"Jack, you're a man and your preferred cock dock is a woman, right?"

"Yes?" I turned to Adrienne, "Adrienne, you're a woman and you want your dock filled with cock, right?" She mouthed the words, "my dock?" looking pretty put out by me referring to it that way, but when I cleared my throat a little, she nodded, blushing.

"Okay then, so neither of you is agender, which is when you're neither man nor woman, and neither of you is asexual, which is when you neither wish to dock or be docked. Or dick or be dicked, as it were." I shook my head, then said, "Anyway, point is, there is enough unresolved sexual tension between the two of you to launch a giant robot centaur bride into space. So if you want to join in at my Revels, you're welcome to do so.

If you'd rather have me babysit Jackville while you guys go bone like rabid weasels, just give me a little warning, and don't plan on doing it on a Friday or a New or Full Moon." They both stared at me, vacillating between aghast and offended, until Jack finally said, "ah. Thank you for the invitation, but I think we will abstain." I shrugged.

"Okay. You guys okay with me coming back Saturday?"

"Certainly?"

"Cool. See you then." I stepped back to our dining room with my cauldron of gumbo, joining the rest of me with the mashed pumpkin casserole. Wound up not quite going together perfectly, but most of my kids weren't the sort to pour their stew into a bowl of mashed carbs, so they were fine, unlike me. Fortunately I had to leave soon, so I'd only dished myself out a few bites worth. I scarfed it down, dispensed hugs and kisses, and stepped to my Altar.

Leanna, the Priestess in charge of the temple's non-sexual entertainment, had been part of the congregation the other night, and she took a turn at making me vocalize my appreciation for her appreciation of my lady bits. Gotta say, her sense of rhythm and timing were way better than her kinesthetics. Still, her sense of rhythm and timing was pretty awesome.

Then, in a stupid bit of ironic synchronicity, I was reminded of the name of the Priest in charge of the Temple restaurant, who also happened to be the bartender for the bar. Jack. Jack definitely wanted to show off, despite not really being all that great at it. Fortunately, my Jack took instruction really well. With a little bit of Stabilization to keep his Soldier marching, he too got serenaded by my stupid bullshit.

Then, as Jack staggered off to get high fived by Leanna, before Amber, the Priestess in charge of maintenance, could come up to the Altar, Tallulah was there. She turned to Amber and, with a surprising amount of deference, said, "pardon, Priestess, but I've only just completed my duties in Rich Man's Port. May I?" Despite being a Priestess and the functional Ops Manager for my Temple, Amber looked a little bit awed, and just nodded wordlessly. Tallulah turned to me, smiling.

I looked into that quiet, dark space in her head where her secret desires hid, surprised when I discovered she had no intention in joining the ongoing 'make Tabitha incant incoherently' competition. Instead, she lifted me, then lay down on the Altar herself, the undergarments of Glowing Midnight gorgeous against her freckled skin.

"You really want that? Tonight?" She smiled up at me.

"Oh, no. But... that's terribly unlikely tonight anyhow." I frowned.

"Playing with fire, then?" She pulled me up to her, almost but not quite into her, and whispered, "I trust you not to burn me, Goddess." I flickered back and forth between boy mode and not.

"But... You came here to play with fire, didn't you?" Yeah, she absolutely wanted to play with fire. I flickered back and forth the whole time. Every time. Just in time. I think I did, at least. Because I definitely felt that thrill of gambling, of not knowing, of being... y'know, I couldn't even call it irresponsible, what with Saffron already rubber stamping this, and everybody involved being okay with it. Okay, still kinda irresponsible. Or at least it felt that way, in all the best ways.

As her eyes slid closed much later, she smiled into my lips and thought, did you? Guess we'll have to Assess you to find out. Her pulse tried to race, but she had no more race left. Instead she just smiled and thought, titillating and terrifying. I lay her on the Altar turned to wave Amber forward. She came to me, then took her turn at trying to turn me into a obscene squeaky toy. Sadly Amber was not the most skilled at intimate maneuvers.

On the other hand, she received some surprising assistance in the form of my Murder Mittens showing up, sandwiching her between us, and whispering directions into her ear. If Amber felt some kinda way, I might have said something, but Amber seemed pretty jazzed about getting the assist. Especially when she wound up getting at least sixty seconds of consecutive word salad. She strutted off to join the other two, who rose long enough to give her a standing ovation before embracing her and seating her between them.

I turned to Marie, and realized what she wanted as she projected it straight into my braincase. I pulled her to me, laid my hand on her scruff, and whispered, "you sure?" She nodded.

"Right out here in the open?" She nodded again, eagerly. Which is why I spent the rest of the Revel standing on the Altar with my big dorky Tiger Wifey dangling from my mouth.