Chương 673: Day Six Hundred And Seventy-One

Dear Diary, I got isekaied almost two years ago now, and I think I've mostly managed to acclimate pretty well without, y'know, losing myself or letting any of my values degrade or get overtaken. But now and then shit still blindsides me, whether it's somebody's reasons for doing shit or stuff I assume everybody knows that nobody has a fuckin' clue about. Seriously. I've gotten used to 'Saturday Night' being the night before Saturday, not the night after.

I'm not constantly jonesing for video games, or social media, or streaming services. The year starts on the first day of Spring, not a few weeks into the beginning of Winter. There are thirteen twenty eight day months in a year, not twelve months with some random number of days. Huh, that's something I never thought of before. I have yet to have anybody show the slightest bit of fear of the number thirteen.

Not sure where that stems from back in my old world, but I guess whatever caused it there just never got any traction here and now. Actually, there's not a lot of talk about lucky and unlucky numbers, although I think I remember Ria mentioning somebody's birthday was 'lucky'. But that's the more innocuous kind of culture shock, I guess. The whole 'I'm gonna make a baby with you for diplomatic reasons' is pretty high on the list of 'what the fuck, Tallulah' pieces of culture shock.

Like, I kind of almost get dynastic marriages. I sure as fuck get trauma bonding and sleeping with somebody so they'll provide for or protect. I never really had to do that, not like the folks here and now do reflexively, but down at the bottom of the economy and society that shit happened more than anybody wants to admit back in the day. So seeing it here is something I fight against, something that Saffron is still learning is wrong and could be better, but I get it.

Actually making a fuckin' human being just to make sure there's not a war, on the other hand, kinda blindsided me. Of course, that's one of those major things that has my back up and makes me get pissed or try to change the world, but it's not the record scratch loss of coherent narrative thought that hit me when Saffron thought at me, A what, love? A theme park resort. Resort theme park? Never was sure which way that's supposed to go.

As she let Siobhan guide us over to a food stand selling deep fried cubes of something in little corn husk bowls, Saffron replied, I know what a park is, at least I think by context you mean the big open public spaces like Phileo has in the center of the Boulevard. A theme... a subject or recurring idea in an essay or sermon, perhaps? As for resort... to switch to another method? I stumbled a bit as I realized, then lost myself in the flavor of the deep fried...

I'm not sure, maybe a mix of plantain and some kind of squash. The flavor of the warm gooey stuff in the middle wasn't Marie at her best good, but it definitely called back to fried amusement park food. Oh. Oh, shit. Fuck. Um... Back at the room? Certainly, love. Everyone, keep your eyes open, in case Tabitha's sudden discovery hasn't gone unnoticed. Marie and Tallulah, who each had one of my arms around their waists, each reached around behind me and took a firm grasp on my opposite butt cheek. Wow. Um.

That's kinda distracting. Marie snickered. Deliberately So. Before I could respond, Tallulah elaborated. Of course. Anyone seeing your sudden change of emotional state will no doubt attribute it to us fingering your intimate regions somewhat less than surreptitiously. I mean, you're not really okay, yeah, yeah, yeah you are now aren't you? Definitely did not think one fucking bit about anything but my handsy long lean ladies on the way back to the inn.

Clamped my butt cheeks down tight as Tallulah goosed me, thinking, sixth, without conscious volition. A moment later Mittens reminded me exactly how long her claws are as she thought back, First. That kept my brain fully occupied all the way back to the inn. Although I really ought to think of it as a hotel at this point. Bar, food service, rooms, right in the middle of a theme park resort, totally a hotel.

We walked into the common room, which had restaurant seating on one side around a fireplace under our own, and a bar on the far side, with a rock wall behind the bar that pretty clearly was the back of the kitchen fireplace. The guy I'd thought of as the 'innkeeper', who doubled as the bartender, looked up from where he stood polishing some glassware.

"You ladies are back early today. Is everyone well?" Before I could say anything, Saffron hooked her toes under my tits and giggled out, "very well. Just perhaps a bit eager to have some privacy." Don't get me wrong, I love me some Kitten giggles, but it messed with me hearing her pretend to be an airhead. I mean, I don't think anybody's gonna really buy it, but then again, I guess maybe some people out there think she's just my puppet or some shit like that.

I guess that's another thing that throws me for a loop in terms of adjustment. I keep thinking that when I do shit, everybody in the world is gonna catch it on the news within the news cycle. Or, really, that's what I'm missing. No, expecting. A global news cycle. Shit, the regional news cycle is 'weeks to months'.

The news cycle within the Alliance, where we've started using a couple kinds of high speed communication, is probably still 'days', what with the whole two way scrying communication portals being what amounts to a state secret. Any other news is carried by rumors, scouts, and spies, with maybe some brave High Clergy poking their Gods to give them bad news. I'm pretty sure the folks in the Med have barely realized I'm a thing yet, even with me poking Athena in the eye with a sharp stick.

Not sure whether Odin has made me public enemy number one, or he's downplaying everything I've done, what with his Pantheon's heavy hitters now being on Team Tabitha or living their best lives as Team Tabitha's fancy bling.

I mean, seriously, if you told me my eternal fate was to live as Sigyn's lingerie, I'd turn it down because I've got a variety of intimate relationships that satisfy all those urges, but if you'd told me that the day after I got here and showed me the woman herself, I'd be living with intimate knowledge of her southern topography. Anyhow, it's distinctly possible that folks who know neither of us personally think that she's the puppet and I'm the puppeteer.

Which, despite a sudden urge to do so which I'm gonna sit on because it's wrong, is mostly the exact opposite of the truth. At any rate, dude just glanced at me, his gaze dropping for that miniscule fraction of a second required to notice Tallulah and Marie's arms crossing behind my back yet not coming around my waist before he smiled, nodded, and went back to his role as bartender slash glass polisher.

I almost kicked myself at not noticing how fuckin' stereotypical everything was here, and stereotypical in a not very sense making way. We got upstairs, where my wives proceeded to work with Tallulah to spin Saffron around so her legs dangled over my back, then toppled all four of us onto the bed, sans clothes. Go ahead love.

I followed the instruction I'd been given, but after a few moments she grabbed my ears, not something she normally did, and since she didn't start exploring them with her fingers, it distracted me for a second. Huh? Theme Park Resorts? Oh, and keep doing what you were doing. I smiled and complied with my Kitten's commands. Oh, okay. This is a little bit oh, wow, that's a lot distracting. Tallulah and Marie had both decided to take advantage of my mouth and hands being busy. Okay, so yeah, a park is a park.

A theme park is a big entertainment place, almost like a theater, but it's got, y'know, a theme. Like 'adventures' or 'castles', I realized right then that a lot of the theme parks I knew about were just life here and now, so I switched tracks. Or 'animals'. Um, historical sites, maybe, or fictional places. I heard some of them called 'amusement parks', because they didn't so much have a 'theme' as just a bunch of rides and shows and stuff. This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road.

If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. So... like a Temple? I went to disagree, then thought about it a second. Not quite, but if you took the... no, wait, there were educational theme parks like Sesame Place. Sure, I guess, although... no, there were religious theme parks too. So, like, a little bit like a Temple? Or no, like the Big Seven, if they were all run by some kind of central authority, and their whole business was amusing people and convincing them to hand over their money.

But, like, willingly, for overpriced food and souvenirs. At that point Karen snorted. That's pretty much word for word how the Priests of Hermes and Zeus describe your Temple, you realize? We're not... I paused, entirely distracted by my own success, not to mention Murder Mittens and Tallulah. We don't rip people off, do we? I felt a mental shrug. The schooling and food for children is free.

For basic Healing or food or shelter for adults we charge what it costs us to provide, and even then we'll allow people to pay in kind or service or work, but for things like personal intimate services by our Clergy, or use of rooms by professional entertainers, or even drinks or luxury foods we do charge. Possibly more than elsewhere in the City, but I'd like to think our offerings are higher quality than anywhere else in the City as well. Okay. I guess we gotta keep the lights on somehow.

At that point Saffron did start playing with my ears, and my brain froze up as she thought, resorts, love? Oh, yeah. Like, places people would travel to on vacation. Usually were some kind of all inclusive place where you did nothing but sit around, eat, sleep, take in the sights and just generally have a good time. I think there were some that specialized in, like, adult couples, others for people trying to meet people, some for families. I never actually got to go to one. Too...

She short circuited my brain by slipping her pinkies in my ear canals while her thumbs and forefingers toyed with the elongated tips of my ears. That sounds just like the 'amusement parks'? When I could think semi-coherently again I managed to piece together, amusement parks were for day trips. Resorts you stayed for a few days, maybe a month. Amusement park resort would be... She made a noise somewhere between a chuckle and a giggle. She was having fun shutting my brain down via manual ear stimulation.

A combination of the two, an amusement park or theme park where visitors stayed for extended periods. Interesting. Why do you say Muscogee is one of those? Okay, there are people on the street, yeah, but way too few for a City this big. There's no crowd noise in the distance. The whole place is constructed like Grandmother's Village, which is fine, but the walls of those buildings aren't anywhere near thick enough to dampen the noise of a City this big.

Everything we've seen is either something to make the place look nicer without putting a lot of money into it, or something to make people overlook the little inconsistencies. The food vendors were what I noticed first though; we never see any lines. Just one or two people at most, just like there are never any crowds moving around. No traffic. Think about Drivers'; there's always a line there. People might just be making their own food.

I tried to shake my head, and when my Kitten and my longer leaner ladies let me think again thought, there's no smoke. No chimney smoke. Siobhan chimed in with, Mana powered ovens, perhaps? Tallulah, Saffron, and Karen all made mild negation noises. As she pointedly refused to let me up, while still playing with my ears, Saffron thought, no, that much Mana use would be a constant background noise, something we would have noticed. Something that would have overwhelmed the mild Blending we've seen.

I suspect we ought look for smaller uses of Mana powered devices, but... Tabitha is right about the nature of the City, if not its purpose.

"Hmm?" Yeah, my brain wasn't working too well and my mouth was full. The type of place you describe sounds like a lovely destination for a vacation, but its existence presupposes groups of people travelling out of their Cities for vacations. Or even taking vacations in the first place. Which might happen if we can import enough knowledge, build enough infrastructure to pull everyone away from the ragged edge of survival.

Kinda surprised that the 'nobles' like the Oranges and Lancasters didn't do that kind of vacationing. I'd managed to stop her hands from distracting me, at least a little, by applying some counter-distraction. Anybody else notice anything that just doesn't fit, now that we're thinking with our brains rather than... oh, yeah, thinky brain not work now. What, the three of them teamed up on me. I think maybe four, because I'm sure I felt a smaller, cooler set of hands roaming too. Why with the distracting? It's Fun.

Marie purred into my brain. I've little else to add, and it's my Duty, after all. Yep. Smaller cooler hands all tryna fit in where Murder Mittens could only fit a finger. Few would think we'd be planning while engaged in... Tallulah cut off mid-explanation while Murder Mittens snickered. All of these are quite true, love. Did you have anything to add, or can we turn you into a passive observer now? I nuzzled at her with my nose. Passive? Fine. Mostly passive. Ladies? Render her mostly passive.

I lost most of the details after that. Something about not enough warehouses on the waterfront. Same with 'maritime services' for the number of docks, although I'm not sure if Tallulah was talking about drydocks, whore houses, or both. Siobhan and Karen both noticed a lack of Temples, although Saffron pointed out that our western neighbors didn't really have any Temples either. Might have been the lack of 'Gods', might have just been a preference of Spirits like Rabbit and Lily and Bear.

Saffron capped it all of with something we'd totally not seen, even though we'd been looking, and forgot that we'd been looking, and not seen. There are no central government buildings. Not even something as simple as the open space around Drivers' where public meetings could take place. I think I must have made some kind of noise, because she said, "I think our Tabitha needs to come up for just a little air, ladies."

After a minute to catch my breath and turn my brain back to as close to functioning as I could get it with Saffron still playing with my ears, I thought, resorts usually put their security offices close to some big attraction, but, like, hidden. In a fake building, or maybe underground. The management would be someplace far enough away nobody saw it, but close enough security could drag someone there if shit went sideways. Hmm... everyone, be on the lookout for somewhere like that tomorrow.

In the meanwhile, shall we make sure our Highest Priestess sleeps well, since she had to stay up all night last night coordinating the Friday Revel at the Temple of Love? So fun to hear somebody else being the one to think, wait, what? Dreamt of my ladies taking turns tossing Karen into my Maw. Spicy, spicy hot sweet Karen. Nom nom nom. Like junk food, only nutritious! Today we wandered the streets again, though we did split up into threesomes with the idea of meeting up after an hour or two.

Funny, but Karen went with Saffron and Siobhan for the morning, while Tallulah stuck with Marie and I. One of us in each group relaying sights and sounds to someone in the other to keep us more in touch than the locals might think. Murder Mittens, the Overlord and I went down to the docks, visited briefly with Admiral Pesce as he offloaded supplies from the visiting Seeking Tentacle, then toured the area just beyond the docks.

There were exactly two shops selling maritime supplies, one drydock which had a 'ship under construction' that even I could tell had been sitting there way longer than it ought to have, and a red light 'district' with four brothels.

Two 'high class' ones with actual fancy bars with velvet and brass, one 'seedy' one that was, frankly, way nicer than any seedy bar I'd ever been in here and now or back in the day, and one 'exotic' one that had a couple women with obvious Human Adjacent features like some fuzziness or pointy ears. Tallulah let me know after we left that all of those were illusions. Then Murder Mittens led us back to the 'nicer' brothel, asked for the, "Most Experienced."

girl there, led her back to an absolutely cheesy brothel room after we paid the extra fee for there being three of us, then just fuckin' demolished said girl. By fuckin', lest that be misconstrued. In case anybody's ever wondered about the existence of Casual Sex implying the existence of Ranked Competitive Sex, it exists, and my Murder Mittens is the fuckin' world champion. So fuckin' hot. Also fuckin' hilarious.

Also so fuckin' sweet when Marie shook the poor girl gently, just enough to rouse her, gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead and said, "Mine's Better." Then made it clear who she meant by scooping me up and, um... demonstrating. I think the weirdest thing had to be getting the taste and smell feed as Saffron found the local equivalent of a Cheesecake Factory and stuffed herself, Siobhan, and Karen while we did that.

Y'know, I know this is supposed to be a scouting mission and shit, but it is absolutely turning into one hell of a honeymoon vacation.