Chương 684: Day Six Hundred And Eighty-Two

Dear Diary, Y'know, back in the day I wasn't any more enamored of Shrek than any other kid my age. Honestly, while I shared the memes and did my share of ogre-based shitposting, which of course included the 'Shrek is love, Shrek is life' bullshit and everything, I probably wasn't nearly as into the actual movie or Smash Mouth song as most of my peers. Thing is, apparently one of the side benefits of being a God of Music is that I remember the lyrics. All of the lyrics of any song I remember.

I mean, I'm sure there are songs that I just don't think about, and I don't have theme music playing at all times, which now that I think about it has to be my biggest waste of power yet. Seriously, why am I not constantly playing theme music when I could in fact be playing theme music at all times; the only answer I can think of is that I am in fact an idiot who forgets to do that shit. Back to my point, and I did have one, that song is a remarkably accurate description of life.

The years do in fact start coming, and they do not in fact stop coming. Yeah, if you look at the lyrics as some kind of actual life advice, they're pure shitpost, but if you pull back a little bit, the idea that chaos is the natural state of life, that shit falls apart constantly, and you've got to swim or you're gonna sink is not entirely without merit. But mostly I'm thinking about the life keeps coming at you part. So yesterday we got home around lunchtime.

I had the kids help me wash up the tarps, then hung them out to dry. The tarps, not the kids, just to be clear. The kids, after hiking back home from the campsite, mostly wandered up to look in on Siobhan, then either snuggled in with her or drifted back to their rooms to noodle around doing kid stuff. I noticed Lindsey and Alex pulling Ria and Maze into Alex's room, and when I listened in they were reading through that big pile of training manuals.

Part of me wonders about getting those for the Cadets at the Academy, but I'm honestly not sure how much of it is really useful yet. Like, learning how to use an entrenching tool only matters if you actually have an entrenching tool. I can get Alex one if she asks me for one, but I can't exactly provide one for every Hero and Cadet in the Alliance, and I sure as shit can't do it for every troop we ever recruit. Because I am absolutely That Bitch, I convinced Lily and Lachlan to hang around.

Lachlan by pointing out that Liam had no place better to be, and might want to join my girls at school, Lily by pointing out that Lachlan was staying and we had lots and lots of 'guess rooms' with beds now. Not to mention our own personal Bedroom purpose made for intimate rendezvous. Fed everybody a variety of fish, including but not limited to some sashimi with horseradish and pickled ginger. Lily seemed to like it, as did Liam.

Lachlan looked weirded out, but tried it and didn't cry too hard when he took a stupid big bite of horseradish. Funny, watching the two of them in the bath. They're both really good with kids, especially the younger ones like Isnomi, David, and Daya, but they also hadn't really gotten a good look at one another sans clothes. Watching them trying not to let on to the kids that they were clearly tryna check one another out wound up completely hilarious.

It only got moreso when Isnomi declared them both silly, and all of the girls agreed. The piece de resistance had to be Liam agreeing with them, even while following Isnomi around like the world's biggest blondest puppy. Like, neither of them is anywhere near old enough to do anything yet, and Liam isn't precocious like Maze and Isnomi, but holy hell do my girls have him wrapped around their fingers. Hopefully not in any kind of bad way. I'll have to have a talk with them about that at some point.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. Once we got the kids in bed, with my ladies settled in among them, I stepped Lily and Lachlan back to the Bath and turned to him.

"You need to use the toilet?" He gave me the most adorable confused look before saying, "No. Why?" I stepped the two of them to the Bedroom.

"Because there's no facilities in here, and I'm not sure she can carry you out if you need to go." I chuckled at the look on his face, gave him a very naked yet surprisingly platonic bro hug, then did the same with Lily.

"Have fun you two." His gaze tracked me as I moved away from Lily, which is probably the only reason she didn't see her eyeing him up and down.

"You could stay?" I shrugged.

"My ladies are all kinda tired tonight, so I don't object, but," I turned to Lily.

"What do you think?" She looked me up and down, then did the same with Lachlan. He preened as she did, and I gotta say, that was a really nice view.

"I like..." She trailed off, and I realized right then that she was absolutely doing some of it on purpose.

"His idea." Carried Lachlan back to the bed with the family when Lily and I wore him out. Good times. Dreamt of my ladies doing exactly as they ought and pampering poor Siobhan, feeding her bits of themselves while she tried to object and was overridden by every lady and tentacle in attendance. In the morning I got back to my routine.

A dozen of me helping Marie, two with Saffron, one of me in the Infirmary, one watching the kids with Lachlan and Lily helping out more than I'd like to admit, and one of me sitting with Siobhan in the water closet, plying her with tiny bits of jerky and hardtack, not to mention making sure she stayed hydrated with water and bisque straight from the Academy kitchen.

Rabbit wound up working directly with the Grand Council to iron out the last bits of the Treaty between Muscogee and the Alliance before signing it on behalf of Muscogee. It still felt weird for a forest spirit to be the de facto Ambassador to the Alliance, but from what we'd discovered Muscogee the City didn't so much have a government as local non profit management, and Muscogee the territory wasn't so much a polity as a bit of political chicanery.

So I guess it was the best that was gonna happen, and we got it done before the Compton Treaty, which was probably a good thing for Muscogee and the Alliance, if maybe a little bit uncomfortable making for Compton until and unless they joined the Alliance. Joining Muscogee might be possible for them, I dunno. Not my lookout. What was my lookout was Karen showing up partway through the afternoon atop Treachery Rock.

"Champion?" I turned from my McCann trolling and Saffron ass watching and said, "hey, Karen.

'Sup?"

"The Questing Tentacle is nearly to Jackville."

"Nearly as in...?" She shrugged.

"We'll be hiring a local guide to lead us to the City proper before sunset." I frowned.

"You sure doing that kind of thing at night is a good idea?" She laughed at that.

"No idea. If it's a terrible idea, I'm sure Admiral Pesce will wait." I thought about that for a second.

"Yeah. Um. Make sure he knows that while we don't want to waste a bunch of time? We're not in a 'minutes count' situation at the moment. I don't want him rushing if there's any kind of danger to our people. Or, y'know, one of our pretty new ships."

"I'll let him know, Champion." Then she was gone. My relationships here and now are so weird sometimes. Like, on New Years I'd been all rearranging Karen's guts on the Altar in front of everybody. Enjoyed a week of group fun time with her in Muscogee. She literally Worshipped me, and there wasn't even any 'oh, I love my wife' to it or anything. Straight up Worshipped me as her Goddess and Patron, with no question in her mind that I was worthy of that.

But she also was our Ambassador of choice, at least in part because of the whole 'she can communicate directly with me instantly' thing. I'd known the instant she arrived, calling me 'Champion' and wearing her Cadet uniform, what hat she had on, and we both rolled with that. If she'd shown up in her Holy Garb calling me Goddess, I'd have reacted to her like that. It's almost like my brain is not incapable of understanding something other than 'girl pretty, guy hot, copulate fun' or something.