Chương 694: Day Six Hundred And Ninety-Two

Dear Diary, Eventually, I'm gonna learn better. Okay, that's a lie. But I've been accruing more and more evidence that while it's a lie, it's a lie that seems to matter less and less. Not because the world is becoming a nicer place, even though Saffron and I are working on that. Not because I'm somehow getting 'stronger', because when the default strength state is 'tectonic displacement', that's not really something that's gonna make a difference.

No, the reason it's not mattering is because I've apparently got some kind of knack for making friends in the here and now. Weird, strange, unusual, that the leftover kid, everybody's emergency backup hookup, somehow wound up besties with a whole list of ladies who can make up for my nigh endless list of mental failings. Siobhan is kind, caring, mindful and demure. Marie is, in every way I can think of, an absolute bastion of hyper competence. Tallulah is practically some kind of self-control elemental.

Then there's Saffron, who is all of that and the bag of chips factory. By myself, I just wander around bumping into shit, wrecking whatever I come into contact with, often doing so to myself at the same time. But just slot one or more of them into me like fuckin' materia, and bam, I'm competent, or kind, or controlled, or some combination thereof. Yep. Materia Girl. That's me. Thankfully. Because as I reached for Jack's hand, Tallulah was just... there. Pulling my hand back, interposing herself between us.

"My Goddess, stop!" Jack froze. Adrienne did too for a moment, then snarled out, "what, you can't even let me have this much? Not even seeing my sister on her birthday when she wants me there?" Without looking at either of them, her gaze fixed on my eyes, Tallulah said, "this is not about you, daughter." I swear, if Jack hadn't been half leaning on the table, Adrienne would have flipped it. She did slap the bottom raising her hands, then slammed her palms down on the top.

"Of course not. it's never about me. Or her. Or Cailyn. Or Lindsey. It's always about the Port. The Keep. The House. About the Overlord. About you!"

"Your brother is dead." I got to see how much it cost Tallulah to say that, to know that he died mostly because she hadn't paid enough attention to realize he wasn't hers any longer. I mean, I sure as shit didn't blame her for his duplicitous ass, but she fuckin' blamed herself, and I saw that in her eyes. I also saw the momentary shock in Adrienne's eyes, before rage overtook it again.

"Did he finally disappoint you too? Fail you in some way you couldn't ignore?" I wanted to stop her. I should have stopped her, my only excuse for not doing so the shock from sudden Tallulah straddling my lap.

"Yes." Adrienne's scream of incoherent rage shocked me out of my surprise just in time for me to see her pull her fist back, pearlescent blades of Mana slipping out of her knuckles. She swung at the back of Tallulah's head, and the Overlord just sat there, staring into my eyes. I wrapped one arm around her, pulling her chin down to my shoulder, my other hand reaching around, shaping a Mana Ward just big enough to cover the two of us.

Adrienne's fist hit the Ward, and she lost her goddamned mind, screaming imprecations and punching the Ward over and over, knuckle duster Mana Blades sprouting from both fists. Eventually I looked away from her to Jack, who for his part sighed, spun a chair around, and straddled it, all while watching my face. I nodded toward Adrienne.

"She gonna keep that up all night?" He shook his head, rolled his eyes.

"here in my home, while she... Supports me, I allow her access to my Power. She's not likely to run out any time soon." I looked to her, then back at him.

"Mana Blades are kinda spendy though. Just that much throughput has got to tire her out eventually." At that point Tallulah muttered, "I know not why you make them that way; it is multiple orders of magnitude less efficient." I sighed.

"Shit." Then I looked back to Adrienne, who hadn't slowed or quieted or... Holy shit this crazy redheaded bitch was tryna get Vengeance for her asshole brother. She thought this was all Justified. Of course it was worse than that.

"Was this all a lie then? Is Ria dead too? Like Lindsey? What about Cailyn? She's not been in the Keep lately, save a few times you weren't there. Have you stolen her face now? Have you?" I popped off a Message shape and raised the volume to flashbang levels.

"OI!" Jack winced, but caught Adrienne as she stumbled backward.

"Before you go all Stabby McStababitch again, I was there when he died. Your mom had nothing to do with it. Not really."

"So who killed him? You?" I shook my head.

"No. My Maid." That was incongruous enough that Adrienne stopped, blinked, and gave me a second to continue.

"Who happens to also be my Wife now, and is pregnant with our kids, so if you're still looking for Vengeance for him, I'd appreciate if you wait until after she decants. Capice?"

"I... you... what?"

"Your Greatmother showed up. Killed Ria. My daughter, her sister, took exception and called in her two High Priestesses, one of whom happens to be my Wife Marie. Your brother sided with your Greatmother. Because he apparently gave less than no shits that she'd just killed his little sister."

"Lies..." she whispered.

"Yeah, no. My daughter shat in your Greatmother's face after gutting her. Her other High Priestess, who happened to be an adult female grizzly bear at the time, sat on another one of your Greatmother. At high velocity. The only reason my Marie didn't finish off the final bitch is because your brother beheaded her as she gutted him." She frowned at me.

"And how is this Wife of yours among the living, and pregnant to boot?"

"Maenad." She barked out something superficially similar to a laugh.

"Lies! Lies upon lies! Maenads cannot bear children. If my sister died, she is no more. If you fought my Greatmother, even had you defeated her by some miracle, you would fall when her Patron, Balor, arrived to avenge her."

"Bet." She just stared at me, although Jack perked up and paid attention when I said that. I nodded to him.

"Compared to his gumbo? My brother tasted like shit, but I ripped enough Power out of his arrogant ass to fix what The Morrigan fucked up." Adrienne waved her hand through the sign versus evil, hissing out, "he will hear you! And even Ja... Johnny isn't strong enough, even here, to stand against the might of the Primordial of Death." I shook my head.

"Yeah, that boat has sailed, but... You mind if I call you Jack?" Jack just motioned with one hand, unspoken permission.

"Yeah, as for," I looked Adrienne right in the eye, but kept part of my attention on Jack to watch his reaction.

"Balor," Jack winced just a little.

"He's not going to be showing up anywhere. And if one of my other asshole sibs shows up to fuck up the best source of gumbo I've found here and now, their best choice will be the gluten free option of 'the door'."

"Lies upon lies upon lies!"

"She does not lie, daughter." That stopped Adrienne in her tracks.

"You... How... My mother cannot lie, so you... you deceived her? Somehow?" I shook my head, sighed.

"Look, if I can prove to you that Balor is dead as fuck, killed to power your sister's Revival, will you give me the benefit of the doubt on the rest of it? Right now I'm kinda holding off the start of your sister's birthday party by making her and her sisters help clean up the school as a 'mindfulness activity', but I can only spin that bullshit so long." Adrienne barked out another not-laugh.

"Oh, please. How will you convince me that the Mor Primordial of Death is no more?" I shrugged.

"Didn't quite say that. Said Balor is gone. But to answer your question," I tugged on the Emergency Coring Tentacles. A moment later, the temperature dropped as Jack froze, suddenly still and ready to spring into violent action, but clearly hoping he wouldn't have to.

"Daughter?"

"Hah! What illusion is this then?" Jack grabbed Adrienne around the waist when she started to move towards Domnu.

"Heart. Stop. That is her." You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

"Her who?"

"Domnu," he whispered. Mom turned to him, nodded.

"Jack."

"Who knows my name. Shit." I snorted.

"For what it's worth, she probably knew it already."

"Not helping." Meanwhile Adrienne was having an entirely new kind of meltdown.

"D... D... D.... No, it cannot..." Domnu turned to Tallulah, who twisted around in my lap to look at her. I dropped the Mana Ward to let her get slightly less uncomfy, but didn't let her out of my lap. She still bowed her head.

"Mother Night."

"I question your competence at matters maternal, Lady Crow. This makes two of your daughters who have avoided feeling the blunt edge of my displeasure due to my daughter's intercession." I looked up at her.

"Did... did you just question somebody else's momming Skills?"

"I said what I said."

"Tallulah? You feeling okay?" Her head tilted a little in my direction.

"A bit manhandled. Other than that, fine. Why?"

"Because a burn that sick ought to do some serious damage." Tallulah just blinked, confused, as did Domnu. Shit, I had two of them now. I sighed.

"Yes, Adrienne, this is Domnu. My birth mother." Adrienne mouthed the words 'birth mother' with a look that said her disbelief was fighting an epic battle to save her sanity.

"Mother, please tell Adrienne what happened to Balor and why?" Domnu nodded to me, then turned to glare at Adrienne. I didn't think she really meant anything by the glare. She just had the actual OG Resting Bitch Face.

"My daughter Mimic destroyed him, consumed his Power in order to Revive your younger sister Ria Crow."

"Thanks, Ma. You can go now." She shrugged.

"William is... resting? Yes, resting now. Even with his Mortality removed, he still requires that, apparently. May I stay?"

"You looking to visit with me? Really?"

"Your daughter, actually." I carefully did not facepalm.

"You want an invite to Ria's party?" She drew herself up.

"I need no invite." Then she glanced down at me.

"I desire your... permission, however."

"Best behavior, then. But okay, you're invited. Just... no removing anything without checking with Saffron or I first?" She nodded.

"Acceptable." Then she went still, staring at Jack.

"Tabitha Diaz?"

"Yeah, Jack?"

"Why is your mother staring at me?" I shrugged.

"I think she's waiting for you to be ready to go. Since, y'know, you're Adrienne's plus one, and she's waiting for you to be ready to go." He rolled his eyes, his attention still obviously riveted to Domnu.

"We had an agreement, I thought, until your... Priestess?"

"High Priestess."

"Until your High Priestess interrupted." I pulled Tallulah upright, used one finger on her chin to turn her to face me.

"Why?" She understood immediately.

"Ambiguity in deals with the Fae is discommended. Strongly. I say this as a Sidhe noble, so you know I know of what I speak." Jack winced, and I frowned at him. Not, like, angry frown, just disappointed mom frown. I swear to fuck he shot me a shrug and a 'you can't blame a guy for trying' naughty little boy look in response.

"Really, Jack?" I sighed, then turned to Tallulah.

"Explain, please."

"He failed to specify the proper dimensions you would be guarding." I blinked, shook my head, turned to Jack.

"Your home, until you return, right?" He nodded, opened his mouth, and Tallulah shot him a look. I wondered at his mouth slamming shut until I realized that Domnu had mirrored Tallulah's look.

"Okay, T. Explain."

"First, this shack is not Jack's home."

"Really, Jack?" He shrugged, then shook his head.

"So what is?"

"I shall tell her if you do not, Jack." Adrienne whisper growled, "you're brave sitting in the lap of a Mor, under the aegis of yet another."

"No, I am not. I need not be brave, for I have no need for fear." Domnu twisted around without moving through the intervening positions.

"You do not fear me?"

"In my Lady's lap? No. No, I do not."

"Fascinating. Do you fear her?" Tallulah looked away from everyone else, looked me right in the eye, and asked, "does she want me to?" I got a sudden rush of Mimic impulses to the crotch, but sat on them hard enough to grind out.

"At the moment? No. We'll revisit that... later." She nodded regally.

"May it be so." Then she turned back to Domnu.

"So no, I do not, until and unless she wishes it. At such time I will cower in exactly as much terror as she desires, should that be possible." Domnu hovered there for a moment.

"Acceptable." Then she twisted back around to stare at Jack. Who sighed out, "Jackville is my home."

"The whole City?" He rocked his head side to side.

"All of it. The people more than the place. The place is... it's mine, but it's kind of shit, the kind of place a second rate God can claim and not have any of the big Pantheons take offense, or try to steal it away."

"So you want me watching everybody in... what... fuckin' Florida?" At his blank look, I clarified, "the whole fuckin' peninsula? Pretty much everything south and east of Muscogee?" He sighed, looked a little sheepish, then nodded.

"Yes." I rolled my eyes.

"Like, protect them from what? Because lemme tell you, I'm not sure there's enough of me to keep every person in that big a place safe from gators and shit like that."

"Gators?" I thought for a second.

"Swamp Dragons?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"Oh, I don't mess with Swamp Dragons. Not unless they get too big for the locals to take. I keep a bounty on them, buy up the meat when I can though." I looked at his pot.

"The gumbo?" He nodded.

"Huh. Tamsty. My Wife's gonna want to pick your brain about cooking with Dragon. Fair warning." He blinked.

"You say that like we're likely to meet."

"You still wanna be Adrienne's plus one, right?" He turned Adrienne to face him.

"What say you, Heart? Do you still want to see your sister?" She blinked, then nodded.

"Then... you would protect all that?"

"What am I protecting it from again?" He shrugged.

"Other Gods. Spirits. Big beasties, like any Dragons that get too big. Things they cannot defend themselves against."

"What about other people?" He barked out a laugh.

"Oh, you'd protect my people from yours?" I shrugged.

"Wouldn't be hard. My people listen when I ask them not to go someplace."

"They fear you that much?"

"Nah. They fear my wife."

"The Maenad?" I shook my head.

"Nope. The Mortal one. The Imperator. The little one that was here the other day?"

"The curvy one?"

"Yep."

"They fear her so?" I nodded, but Tallulah cut in with a whispered, "they fear the Imperator, but more importantly they love the Goddess. They would do anything to see her smile, avoid anything to keep her from sorrow." I snorted.

"Yeah, okay. But yeah, okay, I can't guarantee some sneaky asshole won't sneak in, but if they start shit while you're gone... do you want them dead, ejected, or held until you get back?" He just stared at me for a bit, then shook his head.

"I'll leave that up to you." He held out his hand, but Tallulah's fingers lay on my wrist.

"Time, Goddess."

"Until he returns, yeah." She shook her head.

"When will he return?" I shrugged.

"I mean, I assumed.... fuck, I assumed, didn't I?" She nodded. I turned back to Jack, frowning that disappointed mom frown again.

"I assumed you meant when the party was over, but I was willing to extend that for as long as Ria and Adrienne wanted to visit." I waited, and he said, "that sounds fair?" I kept up the frown until his grin wilted back away.

"I will watch Jackville to the best of my admittedly shitty ability, what with me also being party planner for Ria's birthday, until such time as Ria and Adrienne are done with this particular visit, or this upcoming Thursday, the Twenty-First day of Huath by the Phileo calendar, whichever comes first, at which point you will return. Does that sound fair to you, Jack?" He sighed, turned to Adrienne, who nodded, then stuck out his left hand. I reached out, took it in mine, and shook once. As I watched he...

Inflated. Like he'd been crushed into looking as old and tired as he did, but with the weights coming off, he stood up straight, looking way younger than he had moments before. Meanwhile, I got the faintest edges of... Something. Okay, I definitely felt the local M-Space topography getting a lot more tentacles in its makeup. I also felt... Something. Like a weight, like maybe what he'd just shucked off, but nothing like anything heavy or anything.

Then again, I guess if you carry anything long enough, it's gonna wind up feeling heavy. He sighed again, this time in contentment as he rolled his shoulders and neck, both cracking. Then he held out one elbow to Adrienne.

"Ready to go?" She nodded, then stood and lay her hand on his arm. I took Domnu's hand in my right, then looked to where Tallulah still sat in my lap.

"So. You want a piggy back ride home? Or are you okay to get there on your own?"

"That would be incredibly undignified." Then she wrapped her legs around my waist, her arms around my neck, and lay her head against mine.

"I'm ready to go when you are," she whispered. I laughed and, leaving one of me Co-Located in Jack's little shack, Translocated us all to the dining room, where the serving table had a big bowl of salad, a huge thing of scrambled eggs, an entire party tray of eggy grilled cheese, a big tureen of tomato bisque, and a long wooden case.

"Okay, okay, places, places! I'm bringing the girls back soon, they're starting to get suspicious!" In moments I had Adrienne in my seat, Tallulah in Saffron's, as Marie and I carried Siobhan down to settle her near the entrance to the kitchen, just in case we had to carry her out just as quickly. A minute after that, Saffron and I stepped the girls into the entryway, where they all griped at me about 'bad aim' before opening up the doors.

As the doors swung open, I noticed Menace's nose wrinkling, but before she could do more than open her mouth, a sound unlike any I'd ever heard from Ria's mouth before filled the entryway, a high pitched squee that rivalled Isnomi's for bat slaying ability, which devolved in moments into a shrieked, "ADWEE!" I swear I never taught Ria to Translocate, but I also did not see her traverse the intervening space. One moment she stood there vibrating, the next she slammed into Adrienne's outstretched arms.

Lots of good memories from the rest of the night. Surprisingly, the only non-kid friendly one happened when Tallulah seemed ready to argue about the Ria sized chocolate lava cake I'd made for my Sidhe girl's birthday, which I prevented by feeding her an oversized gooey slice. Okay, 'feeding' is a misnomer, I kinda mashed her face in it before Ria noticed her disapproval. Then dropped her and Saffron in the Bedroom for my Kitten to clean her off, cat style, while I got back to the party.

Turns out Ria is not just literate, she's literate in more than one language. When she opened the case and pulled out the spear, she ran her fingers along the runes filigreed into the haft and head.

"Hniplingr." Then, after telling me how much she loved it, whereupon I let her know it was mostly Loki, Conrad, and Isnomi who made it happen, she hugged the Menace, then dragged Isnomi and Adrienne upstairs to the entrance to Conrad's Workshop, where she very politely knocked, waited for him to open the door, and thanked him for her new spear. Then she and Menace dragged him back downstairs to get some of the cake. I did not know chocolate lava cake could be eaten without making a mess.

Even Ria got a bit messy with it. My Blessed Magnificent Bastard of a son managed somehow to finish his piece and steal some leftovers from Loki, all without getting the tiniest smudge of chocolate on himself. Freaky little dude, but I love him anyway. Like you do, when you've got kids. My favorite moment of the whole night and even the following day was still that first one, though. Because after that, the entire weight of Jackville resting on my shoulders? Light as a fuckin' feather.