Chương 610: Day Six Hundred And Eight

Dear Diary, This past week has really thrown me for a loop. Like, learning that my assumption about Cadets and shenanigans being a Good Thing, so long as they're not breaking any other rules, was, I dunno. Part of me thinks its nice and cool after growing up constantly being told that my, uh, need for fulfillment was bad and dirty and wrong.

Another, ever shrinking part is just kinda screaming as it dies the painful death it so richly deserves, since it seems to think that any form of enjoyment from sex is, well, dirty and wrong. Then there's the more conscious, aware part of my brain that is somehow making itself heard more and more often, and I'm not sure if I'm growing up or just not constantly, uh, unfulfilled.

It's not just amazed that there's, like, whole fuckin' societies where sex isn't stigmatized, Phileo's gone and fuckin' weaponized that shit. Seriously, what else do you call it when you take the basic human need for intimate connection, use that to bond two hypercompetent combatants together, which will then absolutely supercharge all their shitkickery whenever either or both of them are in danger? Soldiers and those who train them know that; soldiers fight hardest to protect those they love.

Oh, my fucking god, Phileo's Heroes are powered up by the Power of Love. Are you sure you don't mean Lust? Don't you go getting all Puritanical on me now, Dad. Just joking, Daughter. I'm sure there are plenty of love matches made at the Academy as well. Yeah, well. Sorry to snap at you. You're still the best. I know. Seriously, though, how am I just realizing that the Phileo City Heroic Academy is mass producing Magical Girls to fight against, well, all the shitty things that threaten Phileo City.

Oh, fucking hell on toast. Phileo City. The fucking City of Love is defended by magic wielding warriors empowered by the Power of Love. Somehow even here in what appears to be a strong contender for the Shittiest Timeline Ever, Shoujo Manga still comes riding to the rescue. Wait. Fuck. No. Wait. I'm all but graduated from PCHA. I'm a fuckin' Magical Girl.

Seriously, I know I've fucked some shit up on multiple occasions, but let's face it, I have yet to blenderize more people faster than the time I thought they'd killed Saffron. Fuck, the closest second, I'm pretty sure, at least in terms of body count, is when pre-Diana stole Isnomi. Fuck with those I love, I will fuck your shit up beyond all recognition. I just kinda wish I had, y'know, the hot... dre... Fuck. Dad! Did you know about this? Know about what?

Look, Mister butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth, I happen to be close personal friends with your warden and torturer, and I can tell her to not kiss it better when she's done. Oh, I'm sure butter would melt in your mouth. You're quite feisty. Clearly my daughter. But no, your dress was simply the whim of a dying old lecher. Tsk. Fine. I guess that's... wait.... So sorry, entering a tunnel, can't hear you very well. Dad, you're in a cave, what tunnel are you going to be... DAD!

Okay, I've mentioned it before, but having the worlds biggest smart ass for a Patron Deity comes with its own perils. Having him adopt me as his daughter hasn't made those any less perilous. So yeah, I don't even think Japan's even come up with the Magical Girl Trope yet, not here and now. So it's not like the founders of Phileo knew about that shit. They based everything on here and now versions of Greek, Celtic, and Norse shit. The whole Power of Love thing came straight from Thebes. From the Sacred Brotherhood.

Who absolutely weaponized it the exact same fuckin' way. Which means if they used any kind of Magic at all, they were doing the Magical Girl thing too. Okay, they were all guys, so Magical Boy? Fuck it, Lachlan's pretty enough, and he is very much Not A Girl. I'm gonna buy him a tiara. Heh, now I'm thinking about that old joke about the Magical Girl Team that defeats evil with the Powers of 'Love! Harmony! Incredible Violence, and Friendship!'

Oh, holy shit I need to set something up with my ladies now next time some big ugly asshole tries to fuck with our shit. I mean, I'm gonna be Incredible Violence, right? Seriously, which of is us more suited to that? Okay, fine, Saffron gets Incredible Violence, but I'm gonna put The Dress in Gladiator Mode and go as Lust. Siobhan can be Love. Dammit, Marie's probably... no, wait, heart eating as a go-to, definitely Incredible Violence, and if she's in the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown, Karen's totally taking Lust.

Not sure what Tallulah would go for. Honor? Like, the kind where you do your Duty even when you don't want to, not the kind where you execute somebody for implying you didn't. Maybe. Fuck, now I wish I'd watched more Sailor Sentai whatever Anime. Or was that the Power Rangers? Shit, I dunno, I mostly watched horror. Okay, horror and hentai. Okay, look, I was a fucked up kid and sometimes lost track of which was which. I'm gonna have to research this shit now. Dammit. That was just... what... Tuesday.

My whole fuckin' worldview thrown for a loop by cogitating about what happened on Tuesday. Heh. I guess that whole 'life comes at you sideways and hits you on a Tuesday' wasn't bullshit after all. Wednesday... I mean Wednesday wasn't anything surprising, really. Kinda like the show. Good, yeah, some things that creeped me out a little to learn, some shit I'll have to, ah, look at more later, but yeah, but nothing earth shattering, I don't think.

Nothing quite like learning that the one force that has managed to consistently defeat the fucking Pit of Evil that is anti-empathy champion Sparta is the weaponized Power of Love. Yeah, I'm not getting over that shit for a while. But then Thursday with Lenny. Damn. I mean, was that... wait. Hold the fuck up. How the fuck did Lenny graduate? Shit, is it a graduation requirement? I can't see the Marshall just, like, dumping somebody after using them to graduate.

But then, I don't see a lot of Heroes their age around either. Mostly people between them and us in age. So maybe she died. Maybe he died. Fuck, maybe they're both Patroc as fuck and I just didn't clock that. No, the Marshall definitely did an 'I'll be in my bunk' when I Onotopped him, so he's Pan at most. If anything I'd guess at Lenny being Ace, because he certainly hasn't shown any interest in... Fuck me sideways, the only thing I've ever seen that man take an interest in is Lancaster House.

The abstract 'my line and legacy' part more than the physical building itself, but holy shit that explains so much. It also means that said House, which was looking like it would wind up grinding itself to dust after not too much longer, with his two potential Heirs-of-the-body being an easily duped himbo and a perpetually angry pipsqueak, and all his other potential heirs being utter shit-vipers, was saved by... Yep, yet again, the Power of Love. Look, yeah, there's a lot of Lust going on with those two. I get it.

But there's Love there too. I dunno what dumbass in an ugly dress over in Rome decided that 'Love' and 'Lust' were incompatible, but just thinking about how much angst that caused me back in the day makes me want to find out, summon them up, and do unto them as I did unto The Morrigan, and that shit makes me feel guilty just thinking about it.

So after yesterday's morning of beat-Vickerson-with-sticks, which wound up with her getting way more laps in the afternoon than I really felt comfortable with, I wound up doing in-flight refueling as she ran laps around the outer perimeter of the Courtyard. Still took her most of the afternoon, and she looked like a wrung out dishrag by the end of it, but I carried her in to dinner, sat her in my chair and let Siobhan feed her, since I didn't want all the cries of 'favoritism' to start up again.

Yes, now that I'm thinking about it I realize letting my Concubine do the work isn't much better. It might be worse. Fuck, I'm shit at this. But fuck it, I keep trying. So after dinner, with her still kinda in no shape to stand, I picked her up, nodded to everybody, and stepped back to her dorm room. The room was dark, the door firmly shut, Cadet Brat furiously self-servicing like she was racing the setting sun. Fuck it, maybe she was, I dunno.

I banished Vickerson's outer garments to the floor, lay her on her bed and tucked her in, even going as far as giving her a very Mom kiss on the forehead.

"Great work out there today, Vickerson." Then we both broke out into almost annoyed giggles as Cadet Brat signaled her victory noisily.

"Sorry, Ma'am. I'm kinda shit at dodging, aren't I?" I shrugged.

"I dunno. You were getting hit way less often as it got closer to lunch." She just snorted.

"Sure, but that's because they're kids. Some of them little kids. Way easier to dodge four winded not-even-pre-teens than seven fired up kids."

"Yeah, but you got pretty good at dodging Menace."

"The littlest one? I guess. But how hard can that be?" I almost choked on my spit at that.

"I don't know whether to tell her you said that or not."

"Don't. I don't want to hurt her feelings."

"Okay, yeah, I won't, because you said that. Not because it would, but because she might bite your kneecaps off if she thinks you're disrespecting her." She laughed, then stopped when she realized I wasn't laughing.

"Oh, c'mon." I just kept staring.

"Really?"

"Oh, definitely. The only question would be if she does it from the front, back, top, or bottom. I love my little Menace, don't get me wrong, but there is a reason we call her a Menace."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Yeah, also keep in mind that by the end of the morning, you were keeping out of her reach pretty well, pretty consistently, without thinking about it. Shows you've got good instincts to base things on. Now, get some sleep. PT in the morning." She groaned. Cadet Brat echoed her, and something about the exact pitch and tone of the sound made me wince.

"And you," I said, pointing at Cadet Brat, "before you do that kind of marathon session again, talk to the Infirmary or the Temple about getting some lube. Bloody Hell, woman, are you tryna damage yourself?" You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

"No?"

"Good. Go to the Infirmary if it hasn't stopped hurting in ten minutes." I turned to Vickerson.

"Carry her there if she can't walk." Then I stepped away before anybody could force me to start applying topical heals to Cadet Brat's lady bits. I did not sign on for that. As my ladies and I lay in the Bath, soaking in the warmth both physical and metaphoric, I asked Saffron, "how is it that I've got so many Cadets following me?" Siobhan and Saffron both swiveled their heads around to stare at me.

Siobhan just kind of gawped, but Saffron said, "pray tell me, love, are you wanting more applause, calling out for help because you're feeling yourself spiral, or legitimately asking?" I snorted, then outright laughed a bit when her question percolated through my lazy, Bath warmed brain.

"Legit asking, but thanks for clarifying. I'm... actually feeling pretty good after this week, all things considered. I'm just weirded out." Saffron nodded.

"From what I've read, the last Deity Worshipped in Phileo to properly embody both Violence and Love in any meaningful capacity was Freya."

"Not Dionysus?" She kinda tossed her head side to side.

"He's not really a God of Love or Violence. Associated with both, yes, but both are more by-products of his Domains than the Domains themselves."

"Okay, I can see that. But what about Freya?"

"Odin looked on her support of the Academy with great distaste. I didn't know this until relatively recently, but his denying her Atlantean Worshippers may have been what first caused the split between them."

"Oh. Oh, shit. So, like, they're not together any more?"

"Legally? Physically? I'm not sure they can 'divorce'. But I'm fairly certain they haven't said a single civil word to one another in centuries." I pondered that for a moment.

"Any chance she'd back us if we approached her?" My Kitten pouted a little at that, but I watched the wheels spinning in her brain suck that annoyance down and use it as fuel.

"She didn't object to the Pact in the first place. But then, neither did Diana. It's possible that her diminishment has caused her to rethink her stance on the matter."

"Huh. Kinda like it has Diana. Or Dionysus. Or even Loki." Sorry, Dad. No need to apologize. I was, as you might put it, an arrogant little shit in my youth. Thanks Dad. You're the best now, though. I know. Saffron just smiled indulgently at me. After a few more moments, my brain connected the dots.

"Wait a minute. It still keeps, like, flying under my radar, but you definitely said, 'Love', right?"

"I did."

"Love and Violence."

"Yes." I shook my head, whether in disbelief or disapproval I really couldn't say.

"That sounds like a recipe for domestic abuse."

"Oh, love. Have I ever abused you?" I opened my mouth, and she Grinned at me and fluttered her lashes as well.

"Have I ever done aught to her that displeased my Goddess?"

"Uh... kids, right there." She chuckled hard enough I could feel the jiggle physics without looking.

"And what are we doing save talking, my love?" She splashed me with some water in the face for good measure. Let me tell you, warm water does not have the same libido calming effects that cold water does. Which she no doubt knew.

"Still, Love and Violence?" She paused, then got real solemn.

"Think on your greatest acts of Violence, love. In defense of our daughter. In vengeance of me." She smiled just a little crookedly.

"Perhaps in pursuit of intimacy with your adoring partners, which Ericson, Gregor, and the Master of Calverton all felt the blunt, painful edge of. But Love and Violence need not combine as violence toward loved ones. Nor should they, as you've made clear." I knew there had to be some argument against that, like something about them doing so anyway, but she silenced me with a kiss, and when her lips got tired Siobhan took over. Then the two of them went and played with the kids for a bit while Marie did the same.

When we got the kids to bed and they all spirited me off to the Bedroom, I wound up feeling some kinda way, sitting there on the end of the bed, arms folded, grumpy-like.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Kinda wanted to play with the kids some myself." One eyebrow shot up.

"Really?" I couldn't help it, the other two looked so flabbergasted in the mirror I started laughing.

"Yeah, kinda. But also, you guys really took your time to take things to the next level this week." When they all looked a little puzzled, I said, "I mean here, in the Bedroom. Both in the evenings and, for a certain Co-Locating Tigress, all day Monday." Saffron faux-glared at Marie, fondly annoyed.

"I knew you weren't sleeping all day, despite what someone told me." Marie, in her best prim and proper voice, said, "Assumed." That set Siobhan to laughing right away, and after a moment Saffron joined in.

"you know, I'm fairly certain I did, now that you mention it." Then she turned back to me, and gently but firmly towed me back onto the bed.

"You nearly died last week, love."

"Wha?"

"The bear. It landed on you. I'm absolutely certain that should have been a mortal wound. Would have been immediately fatal for anyone less durable than yourself. The only reason that you didn't die was that you collapsed her into yourself. Which..."

"Oh, fuck. Yeah. Ow. But I don't think I have any new scars?"

"Most of the damage would have been internal. Like squeezing the juice from a... what was that fruit again, Marie?"

"Orange." I winced at the mental image, because although I'd been way too pumped up on adrenaline and rage at the time, that definitely matched what I remembered.

"Well. Fuck. Can't say I'm feeling bad now... wait, that's what this has all been about?" Siobhan leaned in, kissed me until I'd almost forgotten my question, then after she pulled away said, "no, silly Goddess. That is not all this has been about. If it were some mechanical decision to heal you as quickly as possible, we could have simply run you through the gamut of willing Worshippers at the Temple of Love. Or perhaps at the Academy. Or maybe both?" She looked at the other two.

"Should we try both next time, just for comparison?" Saffron shook her head, and for the barest moment I felt a mix of relief and regret.

"No." Then, of course, she slammed both of those sliders back up to eleven.

"We'd need to do one, then the other, then both. There's no point in testing if you're not going to be thorough and scientific about it." She sighed, an absolutely fake and yet absolutely adorable thing.

"Of course, without near identical injuries, it's hard to really compare how effective each healing method would be."

"I can't tell... No, you two are absolutely serious about all that, aren't you?"

"Three."

"Thanks, Marie. You three are all serious about that, aren't you?" The three of them lasted about three seconds before they all broke down laughing.

"Yes and no?" I pouted at Saffron until she waved me down, then kept pouting just a little until she straddled my belly and used my hands to prop her up.

"World cold and hard, tiddy warm and soft."

"Wisdom for the ages, straight from the mouth of our Goddess, ladies."

"Damn straight." Saffron just chuckled and smiled at me. Kitten smile equally warm and soft, but I wasn't gonna say that just then, or it might change.

"Seriously, though, love, while if either of those was likely to heal you faster or more thoroughly than what we've done? Any and all of us would agree to it in a heartbeat."

"Perhaps insist on it," chimed in Siobhan, slipping behind Saffron, arms going around her.

"I might try and sneak into that line, though." Saffron laughed aloud again at that.

"Oh, please. We would all three of us be going through that rotation as often as we allowed ourselves. But that brings us back to why, along with our Goddess' inexplicable modesty, this might be the better option." The other two looked at her, waiting, as did I.

"While it's true many of our Tabitha's Worshippers Lust after her, for many it's no more personal than those who seek her favor to bless their strength of arms. But those who have blessed this place with us? And yes, if you needed it, I would absolutely call in Karen and Tallulah, Lachlan and Linus, even Silk and oh, most especially Panther. Honestly, I'm slightly embarrassed I didn't think to bring him in this week."

"After I almost killed his village?" My face burned where she slapped me.

"Twice." That got both sides burning.

"I'm not wrong." I'd caught both her hands at that point, and she now actual-glared at me.

"Put. Those. Back."

"No slapping me if I do."

"Only if you start lying again." I frowned.

"Tell me why I'm wrong, and I'll stop." She sighed, then nodded. I let go of her hands, and she put them back where they'd been.

"Much better. Now, before you go diving for reasons to dislike yourself again, I do not believe you were responsible for the Plague that hit their town. The vector, as you might put it?" I nodded.

"Silk. A few of the women's children were in with what appeared to be a minor head cold while he was visiting. As you saw in the tub, much like Lachlan, he's surprisingly good with children." She paused, then muttered, "or not so surprising, considering he seems to be a full grown child himself," Then she shook her head and continued.

"But as the children either shook off the cold quickly, or were Cured by their mothers nearly as fast, no one took note of it. It's not like the town has never seen illness before our arrival. But they've never been exposed to that particular Europan strain, and... well... you saw the results."

"Yeah. Okay. I guess."

"And then, after exhausting yourself reversing every ill effect that Plague had on the town, you proceeded to literally all but kill yourself defending it from a Dire Bear which would have killed everyone in the town. You didn't 'almost kill' them twice, love. You saved them twice." I sighed.

"Okay. Okay. You win. I'll stop resisting. On one condition." I wriggled and bucked my hips just a little bit to scoot both my ladies just a little further up my torso.

"You don't resist either." Saffron smiled down.

"What am I supposed to stop resisting?" I flopped my arms to my sides.

"Gravity?" She didn't. Hell of a way to go to sleep. Even if she did get a little salty when she faceplanted into the pillow behind me. Saltier when I put my arms around both of them and wouldn't let them up. Saltiest when Marie just draped herself over all of us like a warm blanket until we drifted off to sleep. Dreamt of Ice Pop and Soup Dumpling floating around my Maw tied up in Marie Pasta, while Tallulah and Karen kept pushing them back from the edges.

Karen did so with a flamethrower that did not, in fact, light them on fire. Weird, but almost not as weird as Tallulah shoving them back with a giant... Breadstick? Linguine? Something long and stiff and Karen kept laughing at her until she said, "but it is straight, as am I." At which point Karen just laughed harder. Dunno why I can't actually speak in those dreams, but holy shit I can still laugh. The old jokes are the best jokes, I think.

Woke in the morning surrounded by my lovely ladies, kissed them all and the kids as well before hopping off to start my day at work with the most important meal of the day. Fae Waffles! Okay, I'm pretty sure not all the waffles were Fae Waffles. Pretty sure only the one, maybe. Because if I ate that many Fae Waffles they'd be rolling me out to the Practice Yard on a dolly or some shit like that. I would be stoned into next week.

Marie had taken the Lancaster House Waffle recipe to heart and somehow transformed it, taken it to the next level, and holy crap but that woman can cook. Since I'd worked poor Cadet Vickerson to the bone the day prior, of course I was kind and considerate and I can't even keep up that bit without laughing because I worked her ass to the bone during the warm up run, then had all the Cadets doing extra warm up Isometrics.

After lunch I set her to working with Citron and Hildegarde, with extra special bonus difficulty.

"Tango, but no contact." All three of them looked at me like I'd grown another head.

"C'mon, Cadets. You know the definition of 'good training', right?" Hildegarde and Citron just stared at me, but Vickerson groaned.

"Yeah, she knows. She can tell you while I work with your classmates. Get practicing!" I really think I did some good with each of the other Cadets. None of them were in bad shape on anything, but all of them had a few flaws that needed polishing, and all of them brightened up when I complimented their strong points. I don't want to admit it, but a lot of the phrasings, the things I called out, were things Lenny had suggested not two days prior.

Of course, at the end of the day I got back to my trio of trials and tribulations to find Hildegarde leading both of the others. Not in a 'no contact' sense, and barely in a Tango. Which, I mean, I guess Shakira is only correct if you exclude really shitty Tango. Dammit, now I want to Tango with Saffron and Marie simultaneously just to prove the mononormativity of that song wrong. But this might be one of those times when the statement is correct, but the metaphor is broken. I dunno.

What I do know is that both of them looked too exhausted to eat. Marie? Can you send plates for Citron and Vickerson up with Hildegarde? Bring? Nah, I want her to have a little something to remind her not to actually exhaust her partners quite this much. Understood. Hildegarde's mild consequence for a mild infraction thus assured, I looked at her and said, "Marie will have plates for them made up at dinner; make sure those plates arrive at their dorm rooms safe and sound, okay?"

"Should I take them to the Infirmary?" A quick pair of Assesses later, and I shook my head.

"Nah. They're just exhausted. Try not to work them quite so hard next time? Kinda rough sleeping out here on the stone. In fact," I reached out and took Vickerson from her.

"Get him to his room and into bed, and then you're dismissed to dinner. See you in the morning, Cadet." Heh. Gave an entirely new meaning to the word, 'ride them hard and put them away wet'. Okay, didn't really. Also, glad I didn't say that out loud. Where anyone could hear. Anyone awake, at least. Anyone except fuckin' Cadet Brat.