Chương 564: Day Five Hundred And Sixty-Two

Dear Diary, Of all the pieces of dating and relationship advice I've ever found or been given, not a single one ever said anything like 'if you're dating an Evil Overlord, be sure you don't hint that you'd like a Superweapon, because she will build you one just to see your reaction'. Then again, I guess that doesn't come up very often. Evil Overlords aren't generally known for their gift giving habits. Or, rather, they don't give them to their significant others as often as they do mistresses and shit.

Yeah, I know. Saffron's not actually Evil, per se. But she is absolutely a Tyrant. She's the Imperator. Before anybody says anything about 'but you said Overlord', yes, yes, I did, but in my humble opinion that's fully justified because the fucking actual Overlord of Rich Man's Port reports to my wife, the Imperator. So she's the person the Overlord says 'yes ma'am' to.

Which, given that Overlords and Tyrants and Imperators don't generally need the whole 'Evil' prefix in front of their name to have scary levels of power, means that I still kinda wish I'd had that advice at some point earlier. Then again, on second thought, I do not wish that. Because if I'd known she was likely to mount a Mana Blade big enough to peel the fuckin' planet on the front of my Black Dragon, I might have asked her to not do that, and holy shit that shit was cool. Was it a wave motion gun?

Um, let me think about it, because I'm frankly not sure if it's more or less powerful. The Blade had to be at least five miles long, and it might have been significantly longer. Sure as shit long enough to punch through the planet's crust, at least in the thin spots, and while I'm not sure what would happen if she pointed it vaguely downward and spun in place, my gut instinct starts at 'super volcano' and gets apocalypticer from there.

Yes, I know that should be 'more apocalyptic', but that doesn't convey my stark raving terror at the thought of, say, Menace getting her hands on the controls for that big bastard. Speaking of the Menace, she absolutely lost her shit just as much as I did when that Blade formed. I think the other kids thought it was cool, but somehow I'm pretty sure Menace realized exactly how much power we'd shoved out in front of us, not to mention exactly how much damage it could do.

When Saffron had them retract the blade, and she and I collapsed back into ourselves as the Black Dragon slowly descended to sea level, Menace leapt from the window to land in our arms.

"Mama! Ma! Ja thee it? Ja thee it? Big bwade go vwooom!"

"It did indeed, didn't it my girl?" While she continued gabbling and squeeing at Saffron, Ria stepped up and said, "that was very impressive. What is its intended target?" At that point Saffron leaned over and waved our little horde of miscreants in. When she had all their attention, she whispered, "to put that smile on your Mama's face." I realized right then that she had, in fact, etched a smile that wouldn't come off onto my face.

I mean, shit, I grew up in a town where a battleship was one of our only big tourist attractions, and while I'll never admit to watching anything but the freakiest of hentai, I did in fact love that show when I found it as a kid. I mean, I saw the remake first, but even so, one plus one equals Tabitha squeeing internally eternally. Seriously. I scooped her up into a hug and whispered, "thanks, Kitten." Right about then Alex pulled at my jacket.

"Mama?" I turned down to my suddenly oddly serious wannabe Hero and asked, "what is it, Alex?"

"How do I join the Navy?" Realizing that the Black Dragon's Mana Lance may have just done for my daughter what Keanu's unparalleled visage had done for me long ago, I did the only thing I could. I played for time.

"Uh, first of all, you're gonna have to be..." I looked to Saffron for backup.

"At least thirteen years old before anyone will even consider you for entry into an Academy. You'd be better off training hard and waiting until you're sixteen. Then, once you complete your required coursework there, you apply to the Naval Academy in Rich Man's Port." Every officer on the bridge turned to face my tiny tyrant, who turned to them and said, "we break ground in the Spring." Swanson managed to hold his laughter in for about ten solid seconds.

"Norfolk will be beside themselves with envy and jealousy both."

"Not Calverton?" Swanson shrugged.

"They're still recovering, and they've decided to focus on their Heroic Academy. Which frankly Norfolk should have been doing. I mean, certainly they've got a strong maritime tradition, but," he didn't bother to hide his shudder.

"Can you imagine a Jotnar like Princess Olga trained to be a Phileo style Hero?"

"Y'know, I don't think anybody in Norfolk has thought that far." Swanson snorted.

"I'll be sure to mention it to the Princess next time I talk to her though." He choked on his spit, at which point Saffron, in full Imperator mode, asked, "wouldn't you like to have such a Hero as part of your Marine contingent next time you face a boatful of Spartans?" He snorted again, a completely different sound, before saying, "that wouldn't be a fight. That would barely be an extermination."

"Exactly." I think my Kitten has been studying with Marie in the art of conversation ending. By the time we got home, the four of us were carrying the kids. Lindsey and Alex weren't asleep, but they were clearly fighting it with every ounce of strength they had. Ria, ever practical, had snuggled into me and gone to sleep as soon as I picked her up. Maze hadn't gone to sleep, but she'd done a pretty good impression; the only way I knew she was still awake were her snores.

Normally she doesn't, but last night she imitated Ria. Not in any kind of bad, mocking way. Just... trying to be more like her sister, I guess? The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation. We'd had an early dinner aboard, more Salisbury steaks, mashed potatoes, and biscuits, and we skipped bath time and just put the kids straight to bed, pulling enough of their warm clothes off that they'd be comfy without being overheated in our nice toasty curtained circle bed at home.

Never quite realized how warm our new place would be, even without the huge fire going constantly. Which, since Marie never quite let it go out, never exactly happened. I think there may have been something about the pipes in the walls that carried water to and from the tub keeping the walls warm too. I fell asleep pondering how my Kitten had managed that, with that smile still etched onto my face.

Dreamt of staring to the East, looking for the bar of liquid light that had nearly seared through my tentacles, wondering why they didn't hurt, wondering why they hadn't boiled away to nothing. Waggling them just to remind myself they were still there. Woke up to a bit of deja vu. Menace staring into my eyes from about an inch away.

"Mama!" she shout-whispered.

"Fye!" I blinked and sighed.

"Menace, you know I love you, and you know I will absolutely support your flying habit when the weather is good, but right now? There's still snow on the everywhere, anyplace that isn't covered by snow is covered by ice, and unless the smell in the air was wrong..." I hopped up to the little hut I'd built at the top of the Bore. The women had installed a wooden frame inside, along with a door in the doorway. With hinges on the inside, which baffled me a little until I realized it wasn't a defensive thing.

I opened the door to find only about a foot of the opening still clear, with snow falling out of the sky. After shoving the door closed again, which took more than a little bit of Strong Arm to do, I looked at Menace and said, "Yeah, it's snowing right now, Menace. No flying in snow."

"Fye!" I closed my eyes and sighed.

"Isnomi Aetos-Diaz, you are not going to stubborn your way into this." She flopped on her butt, which happened to be on my belly, and I reminded myself to thank duBois for all that training when I saw him next.

"When fye?" I sighed.

"Okay, there's a little to unpack here." She looked around, and I explained, "no, no, what I mean is that there's more than one problem, and we're not going to ignore any of them. But none of them are insoluble." That got a confused look.

"We can, maybe, fix them all."

"Oh tay?" I scooped her up and rolled us to the Bath, because other than Marie, nobody else had really woken up yet, and along with wanting them to get their sleep after the big day, I didn't want them listening in on the next bit.

"Okay. Couple things. First, I know you've been checked out for flying in clear weather, and night flying, but I'm really not gonna approve of you flying in bad weather. Once you're an adult you can try to do that, but until then..." She got a mulish look, and I changed gears.

"This is a safety thing. Like the stairs." The mulish look went away.

"Oh!" Then she got a suspicious look.

"Oh-tay?" I sighed.

"Menace, I promise you, I won't invoke the safety rules if it's not a safety thing. I take that just as seriously as you do. So yeah, bad weather flying is dangerous. There's all kinds of nasty shit that can happen trying to fly in any kind of rain or fog or snow. Worse, there's stuff that can happen if you try to fly when it's too cold.

I'm not sure how it works, but even when there's no snow coming down or anything, if it's too cold ice can form on your wings, and then," I brought my hand plunging down into the Bath.

"Splat."

"Spwat?"

"Yeah. Splat. Not fun haha splat either. Worse than your first Temple memory splat." She shuddered.

"Oh tay."

"Don't worry, Menace. I'm not sure how well you remember last winter, but by your birthday the weather had cleared enough for you to fly." When she perked up, I hastened to add.

"Not sure if it'll do that this year. Neither of us is a weather Goddess. Wouldn't be right to deny all the animals and plants water just so you can have a little fun, either. But once it's warm enough and the weather's clear, I don't mind you flying."

"Doan fowget." I sighed.

"I'll really try not to. And it's okay if you remind me, and I'll really try not to get too busy. Okay? Also, if the weather is good, you can still have your brother or grandparents take you flying. If Marie shows Siobhan how to get you into and out of your flight gear and hang glider, and she's okay to watch you fly, she can do it too." Menace looked at me, a bit of mischief in her eyes.

"Fye heah?" I'd seen this coming.

"Maybe." Her eyes sparkled.

"Not saying yes, not saying no. We need to ask Mom and Conrad about the wind patterns here. I think they'll be okay to fly in, but until they are, no flying. Also, there's some nasty stuff in the woods." She looked dismissive, and I said, "some of those nasty things might fly."

"I nadda fwaid." I smiled at her and ruffled her hair.

"I know you're not, Menace. I don't want you tangling with some things, because I don't want you hurt while you're still growing, but I know how big and mean you are even now. I'm not happy you did it, but I'm very proud at how you wrecked the Morrigan's shit."

"I poo in hew faith!" I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Yes, yes you did. Not an adult thing to do. Not a move you really ought to do as a grown up. But if some grown up pulls you into a fight when I'm not there to protect you? Yeah, absolutely do that to them. They deserve it for picking on a kid." She got all cute growly and hunched over and said, "thingth twy to ged me when I fye, I ged dem inthtead!" I nodded, but let the smile slip from my face as I asked, "okay, but what about your sisters?" Her mouth dropped open at that, and she just stared at me.

"They'll all enjoy riding with you on your Nightmares, right?"

"Daya?" I leaned in, "I think even Daya kind of liked them." Then I pulled back and put on a fake but serious considering look.

"Once the tack is done, I think Marie and I might go along with the seven of you for a ride or two. We can keep up with the Nightmares, and I'm sure anything they can't carry your less combative sisters away from, they can definitely protect them from, right?"

"Wight."

"So, once the weather clears up enough that none of you will get sick from being outside, we can maybe bundle you all up and go riding. But for flying... Don't you think your sisters would like to fly too?"

"Maybe?"

"Well then. We'll ask them. Not today, because before you ask them, do you know who else you need to ask?"

"Ma?"

"Yes, asking Ma would be good, but I think she'll agree with what I've said. Who else?" When she paused for a bit long, I said, "Think. Are they all small enough to use your hang glider?" She shook her head, humming.

"So who can make them one big enough?"

"Conwad!" I nodded.

"I athk Conwad to make dem one?"

"Better yet, ask Conrad if he can and will make one for each of your sisters who want to fly. I don't know if all of them will. Even the ones who don't might want to be included somehow. But this..." I smiled as I thought about it.

"This is a big project. The kind your Mom loves putting together." I thought about the last juxtaposition of 'Saffron' and 'flying' and that smile etched itself across my face so hard my cheeks hurt.

"So maybe you could ask her for some advice too." I pulled Isnomi's forehead to mine and smiled at her before playing my Ultimate Isnomi Taming Trump Card.

"If you think you're a big enough girl to manage a project this big?"