Chương 590: Day Five Hundred And Eighty-Eight

Dear Diary, Gotta wonder if duBois ever felt the same way about me and Lancaster as I do about Hildegarde and Citron. Like, on the one hand I'm sure he enjoyed his nemesis' son getting shown up by his protégé. Because despite myself I've realized that's what I kinda am to him.

Which would make me give some serious side eye to plan Gold Retirement Watch, except for the fact that Phileo traditions are based on what for me are 'ancient Greek' traditions, which have shenanigans going on between mentor and protégé all the fuckin' time. Also, I don't give a shit about that, since while I've definitely seen him as an authority figure, he's not the one initiating that shit.

But my infinite capacity for idiocy and intent for dubious duBois shenanigans aside, because it's not like I'm ever going to sleep with a student in my class, except holy shit I already kinda did with Vickerson. Okay, she wasn't in my class at the time. She was just a Soldier nominally under my command. I have just come to the realization I really need to talk that out with the ladies and the 'rents and anyone else who is ready, willing, and capable of pulling my head out of my ass about that.

Because at this point I don't know which direction is getting my head on straight and which one leads to further rectal ostrich impressions. So I've got at least one very obvious pair of rivals in my class. Worse, they're not exactly middling talented ones, either. I've seen Citron literally offhandedly parry shots headed toward himself and Hildegarde by some third party. Like, he doesn't even have to think about it with anybody but Hildegarde.

Meanwhile she does push him, keep him on his toes, and beats him sometimes. Most of his wins aren't from more natural talent, either, but from the same advantages Larry had when we met; a lifetime of privilege and training for doing this exact thing. Whereas Hildegarde is just a scrapper with a penchant for wrecking shit, not unlike yours truly. Only, y'know, she isn't a Goddess in disguise, so she's having to scramble and acquire Skills without those advantages.

Of course, she is gaining Skills, and if what Saffron says is correct, she'll be gaining them faster than he is, since she's starting out with lower numbers to begin with. That kinda makes me wonder if there are any Cadets equivalent to Saffron, Bonnie, or maybe Bill in the mix in this class. I guess there's Vickerson, but she's not exactly any of them. She's a former Soldier, a squad leader at least, who's decided to try her hand at being a Hero.

Which from what I remember wasn't that much of a thing before my Class. From the edges of conversations I overheard, plus stuff I remember talking with Saffron about, prior to our Class the Academy pretty much recruited from the wealthy and powerful of Phileo. Rich kids. Maybe not all Dan rich kids, but still mostly rich kids, maybe with a smattering of 'middle class' kids with talent. Saffron herself couldn't even get into the prep school pipeline, because 'poor and Bag'.

So I guess even if I fuck everything else up by the numbers from here on out, putting the idea in people's heads that a Hero can come from anywhere was a worthwhile accomplishment. Yeah, me and Remy and Enkidu, comin' out the gutters and sewers and wilderness to save the fuckin' day when all seems lost. At any rate, Citron and Hildegarde dancing was funny as shit. Both of them tried to lead. She's like Siobhan's height, maybe five two, five three, and he's gotta be close to Lachlan's six four.

Worse, in some ways, she's got broader shoulders than he does. I'm pretty sure that while he can lift her if he sets himself, she can straight up sprint around doing gymnastics carrying him. I intervened just enough to get them to take turns leading, then sat back and watched the shit show. I mean, I got them to do it right enough for everybody else to follow along, but once everybody was dancing, I mostly watched the two of them and tried to keep a straight face.

Got home absolutely exhausted, because the past week has not been restful, and even if Isnomi's birthday party turned out great, it was pretty fuckin' emotionally draining. Not absolutely sure, but I think the tension and emotional roller coaster aspect of things tires me out more than anything shy of Mana Shaping at a Deific scale. Siobhan sat on my lap and fed me, while Saffron had a Marie seat cushion doing the same for her. Honestly, Siobhan didn't seem in much better shape than Saffron or I.

It only reinforced that impression when, up in the showers, Siobhan stumbled over to Marie and said, "pardon, Marie, but could you attend to Tabitha as well as Saffron? I'm afraid I'm at my limits." Then she got really tense and shy as Marie stepped over to her, looming like only Marie can loom. Blushing, Siobhan said, "I'm so sorry. I overstepped, and I..."

Her voice trailed off with a squeak as Marie spanned her waist with one claw, lifted her up until they were eye to eye, then stepped forward to put Siobhan's back against the shower wall, bringing her own face almost touching close. Then the two of them disappeared. Almost simultaneously a nude Marie each appeared behind Saffron and I, stepping forward to help us disrobe and subsequently make with the getting clean.

Before we were half done, Marie and Siobhan reappeared, our little Healer dangling from one of Marie's claws. When Marie's turn to reach the faucet pointed Siobhan's face toward Saffron and I, she mutter moaned, "thank you, Marie." At which point Murder Mittens lifted her under the stream from the shower, reached around to pull her face up close again, and growled out, "Welcome." Since my face was currently in the process of being rinsed off, I thought, thanks, Marie.

I don't know what the rest of us would do without you. All three Maries turned to stare at me as she replied, Survive. Then they all grinned that kind of grin that's only possible with feline dentition and appended, Unpleasantly. She carried all three of us to the Bath and kept one with each of us, giving us a warm, purring, fuzzy backrest to lay against as she played with our hair. After a while, before I fell asleep entirely, I thought, surprised you're not gonna play with us like life sized dolls.

I'm really not sure if that was brilliant or idiotic. On the one hand, did not get to sleep until I blacked out. On the other hand, blacked out staring into the mirror, watching my Kitten lying against my side, my arm around her, getting the exact same consciousness stealing treatment I was. Dreamt of my Murder Mittens delivering assorted lady food to me in quantities large enough to fill my Maw to bursting. Good dreams. Slept well. Woke to all of us piled atop her, her arms holding us as she continued purring.

I don't deserve you, Marie. Slowly, carefully, she extricated the other two, leaving them each with a pile of snoozing kiddos. Then she rolled the two of us to the Bed, me on my back, her on hands and knees pinning me there. Wrong. I stopped arguing. She's obviously far smarter than me. Way more experienced too. As a reward for being such a good obedient fiancée, I got two waffles with my spicy eggs and jalapeno scrapple. Yeah, I'm a simple woman. I can easily be bribed with sex and food.

Still, I'm not sure exactly what she was bribing me to do, except accept the food and the sex. When the Cadets made it into formation, after the pleasantries of getting them all to bellow out, "good morning, Ma'am," at the top of their lungs, I gave them the plan for the day.

"Yesterday's dancing went fairly well." When the chuckles died down, I smiled and said, "no, really. It takes a while to get good at anything, especially when it's something you haven't done before. Whether that's dancing, letting someone else lead, or cooperating with another person." Citron and Hildegarde both looked a little abashed, but I didn't think either of them really needed smoke blown up their ass at this point.

"So, everybody gets that a lot of our work on Saturdays in PT is to foster your ability to cooperate with your future fellow Heroes, right?"

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Okay then. Just want to point that out before we get into things today. Because today, after we're done with our warmup run and some Paired Isometrics for stretching, you're finally going to be doing some sparring." The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there. I barely managed to keep a straight face as every eye in the Yard turned to face Citron or Hildegarde.

The only exceptions being the two of them, who stayed eyes front, and Vickerson, who kept looking back and forth between them.

"Once we're done with stretches, I'll call for volunteers for the first match, so you guys can get an idea of what's allowed and what's not." One thing I'd done differently from duBois since a week or two in, I generally ran with the Cadets during their warm up. Today was no exception, and I took great delight in pushing both of my problem children to keep their pace up. I figured maybe if I got them a little winded, they'd be a little less likely to annihilate one another in the ring.

Of course I paired them up for stretching, because have you met me? I may be doing my best to be a good teacher, but some particular bits of trolling I absolutely can't resist. When I called for them all to get back in formation at the end of the warm up time, those two practically Translocated to their spots. They didn't; I hadn't taught them that and as far as I knew neither of them had gotten it as a Boon from their Trickster God or Goddess, but they did a damn fine impression of it.

"Okay, Cadets. Who wants to go first?" Several hands shot up, and if Citron's frown as he glanced around at the others didn't force hands down, Hildegarde's glare certainly did. Had to give Vickerson credit, she just rolled her eyes and kept her hand up. I briefly considered putting her against one of the other two, but while she had more practical experience with actual combat than either of them, her skills mostly lay in organization and discipline, not one on one shit wrecking.

Once I had the rest of the class gathered around the central sixteen pavers of the Yard, with the two of them in the center facing me, I made sure I had everyone's complete attention before speaking.

"Okay, you two. The Rules of Engagement are as follows. No deliberate kill shots. No deliberate maiming shots. If your opponent slaps the ground with either hand, that's considered a submission and the fight is over. If your opponent loses consciousness, the fight is over. If I call for you to back off, the fight is over. No hitting your opponent after the fight is over. Do you understand those Rules?" Citron's hand shot up.

"Ma'am, how do we tell who won?"

"If you submit, you lose. If you go unconscious, you lose. If I call you off, I'll let the two of you know who won. But odds are if I'm calling you off, it's because you've already won and all that's left is the possibility of more injury."

"But... how do you score things?" I snorted, then barked out a single laugh.

"Cadet, you will be sparring, both to practice your Skills and, hopefully, improve them. You are learning those Skills so that some day, when you are faced with opponents who will not take the path of wisdom and talk things out, you will win any contest of arms you're involved in. The only people 'keeping score' on a battlefield are the ones still standing at the end. So... how do you think I'll be keeping score?" He gawped for a second, at which point Hildegarde's hand shot up.

I nodded, and she barked out, "whoever's standing at the end!" I pointed at her and nodded, keeping eye contact with Citron.

"I think she might have an advantage over me, Ma'am." Both of us blinked at that, at least until he said, "she's dealt with more pain and suffering." I shook my head.

"Y'know, if you hadn't just said that like it was some kind of moral failing on her part, we both might be more impressed with you. So, you understand the rules?" He nodded. I turned to Hildegarde.

"You understand the rules?" She frowned, but nodded. If I hadn't had a lifetime of watching people on the streets of Camden, I might not have noticed the sly grin she hid under that frown. At that point I might have done a little bit of looming over her, which did fuck all, then said, "just so you're aware, every bit of Mana Sister Siobhan uses putting one of you two back together is one bit less energy she has available to make me more tolerant of any bullshit one of you might wind up pulling.

With that in mind, if I see either of you deliberately finish any kind of attack once the fight is officially over? I will be very angry when I inflict the same damage you failed to avoid inflicting. Do I make myself perfectly clear?" My front tingled as she looked at me with the kind of fear and awe I know I always felt when somebody saw through my bullshit.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

"Okay then. Face each other." They did.

"Shake hands." They did, and I don't think Hildegarde even tried for a crusher grip.

"Now, back to the edges of your pavers." They stepped back, and I did the same, because I low key knew what came next.

"Begin!" I half expected Hildegarde's leaping charge. I did not expect the sideways lunge and clothesline Citron met it with. Neither Hildegarde nor I noticed his foot lashing out to kick her shins together, sending her into a fall which looked to be an imminent faceplant. Of course, his clothesline feint put his arm within reach of her, and she managed to get one hand onto his wrist.

Everyone heard the pop as his arm twisted backward, then the nasty grinding crunch as she didn't curl her head quite far in enough to keep from sliding on the paver just a bit before she rolled. She popped back up to her feet at the end of the roll, never letting go of Citron's arm. He ragdolled along behind her, and she yanked him toward her before he managed to get his feet under himself. Of course she used that yank to add more impact to the punch she threw at his thus far undamaged face.

Then he surprised both of us again, this time by not only jerking his head to the side so her punch clipped his ear rather than demolishing his nose, but by smashing his forehead right into her abraded cheek and ear.

"FUCK!" she screamed as she shouldered him backward, never letting go of his injured arm.

"Afraid I'll have to decline your generous..." Hildegarde interrupted Citron's witty banter by screaming and yanking him in again, this time going for a headbutt. Okay, given their relative heights and the fact that he'd managed to get his feet under him, it would have wound up a forehead-to-chest impact, if not for the fact that Citron twisted his body around, using his apparently dislocated arm for leverage.

I mentally gave him points both for attempting the witty banter and for not screaming his fool head off when he did that. She slammed her forehead right into him, but he'd managed to redirect it to one of his pecs. Not painless, but way less painful than someplace not layered in muscle. He then showed a positively inspired streak of cruelty when he wrapped his arm around her head and dug his fingers in to her already injured cheek and ear.

Really had me startled that he'd gone for anything resembling grappling, what with her obviously having way more muscle density than him. Still, points for creativity, doing the unexpected, and paying more attention to doing unto others than any kind of 'honor' or 'rules' when it came to fighting. Of course, he'd also wandered directly into Hildegarde's area of specialty. The being mean, not the grappling, even if she wasn't half bad at that either. She straightened her head up and bit him. Hard.

Hard enough that I heard the integral metal rings in his jacket deforming, hard enough that I think she caught a sensitive bit in whatever she'd gotten her teeth around.

"Fucking! Bitch!" Citron screamed, grabbing at her chin and trying to unscrew her head with his functioning arm. That wound up pulling on her mouth, which reminded him she had not yet released her toothy grip on his nip.

"FUCK!" At that point he just started slamming his head into her face, at least as well as he could with the two of them tangled up. While he'd focused on that, she'd managed to slip one leg behind his, and yanked backwards, pulling his feet out from under him. The moment she felt his weight on her, she leapt. Like, straight up into the air, twisting as she did to pull him under her. They plummeted headfirst toward the pavers, at which point I tossed the Air Shield I'd been holding.

As Hildegarde's weight slammed Citron's breath out of him even with the Air Shield making the impact moderately painful rather than outright lethal, I stepped over to the edge of the Air Shield, grabbed the back of her jacket, and called out, "back off! Both of you!" They both froze, and I said, "both of you let go of the other." Citron closed his eyes, but followed instructions. I couldn't see Hildegarde's face, but he dropped away from where I held her, sliding on his back to the edge of the Air Shield.

I dropped the Shield, set Hildegarde on her feet, then reached down and picked Citron up by his jacket and did the same to him. Then I turned each of them to face the other.

"Okay. First of all, good fight, both of you. Citron," Hildegarde tensed.

"I'm gonna have to call this one for Hildegarde, because without an Air Shield there, odds are your skull would have some interesting new fracture patterns. On the other hand, you definitely surprised me by going hard into grappling." As I paused a moment, he shook his head.

"Not like I could get away once she had hands on me." I nodded.

"After you two get back from the Infirmaries, I'll show you some escapes the Marshall taught me." Not that I'd ever personally used them, but they didn't know that.

"Now, get each other to the Infirmaries. Make sure they check you both for concussions." Both of them grumbled about not needing the Infirmary. Honestly, I wasn't sure if they needed it, but I needed them out of my hair for a bit, and they needed to see the other as a sparring partner, not an actual enemy.

"Citron, a dislocation like that is nothing to fuck around with, especially for a swordsman like yourself. Hildegarde, I say this from personal experience, facial scars suck." She gave me a look like she was gonna argue, at which point I said, "unnecessary ones aren't even cool. You get some in an actual battle defending someone from shit they can't defend themselves from? Keep those if you want. But this? This is a fuckin' training accident. Go have Siobhan fix it."

I couldn't help the evil grin that slipped across my face.

"If you can't just ask her to fix it, I'll tell her you need her to kiss it and make it better." Not sure if making myself their common enemy was really the wisest choice, but fuck it, time to put on my big girl panties and do the job. Still tempted to have Siobhan administer Hildegarde's healing with her lips though.