Chương 573: Day Five Hundred And Seventy-One

Dear Diary, So yeah, yesterday reminded me that if I am feeling too good about how I'm doing a good job and resolving whatever current crisis I'm dealing with, Murphy can and will hand me an entirely new one to deal with. He won't take the old one away, of course. That would be too much like a useful attribute to that dog fucker. Which is probably a mean thing to say. I've seen some cute puppygirls and even a hot puppy femboy at one point, I'm sure there are some completely nice people going to town on them.

Look, what I'm clearly tryna say here is that Murphy is morally inferior to those warped individuals who would forcibly fornicate with an actual canine. Yeah, little pissed not just that my mellow was harshed, but now I'm also tryna find someone who seems kinda unfindable. Okay, I'm not sure she's unfindable, but Lady Tallulah trained her on how to avoid Divination, which means she's gonna be all tricksy and use misdirection and shit like that, which 'moar powah' tends not to work against.

Oh, I could go ask Conrad, and I probably will eventually wind up asking him or Saffron to help with the fine detail work, but some part of me feels like that's copping out, letting others do the hard part for me. Which, just to be clear, is total bullshit. I'm tryna be more honest with myself, especially in moments of emotional stress, and I absolutely jump to do every brute force thing I can do for my ladies and my family, because brute force is what I'm good at.

In just about every way that matters, when it comes to our family, I'm the brute. As a wise man once said, 'There's no one I'd rather be than me'. Every family group needs somebody to lift heavy shit, stay up late watching the sky, and if need be lay down apocalyptic levels of hurt. Marie is our wifiest wife and the ultimate combat maid. Siobhan is kind and gentle and caring. Saffron plans shit, pays for shit, and makes us all look cooler. My role is the brute, the heavy, the big scary badass.

I've made my peace with that. Which is a lie, or I wouldn't have to keep reminding myself, but that's what mantras are for. They're lies we tell ourselves because if we do it often enough, our subconscious eventually believes them, and believing is half the battle. The other half, of course, being unholy levels of mindless violence, which is why I try to avoid battles.

Not because I don't like mindless violence, but because I always wind up going just a lot too far, and then my ladies have to comfort me until I'm no longer depressed, and now I'm wondering why I don't start battles more often. To which I remind myself because mindless violence for mindless violence's sake is wrong. How am I the mother of seven kids? I've got my hands full being the mother of me.

So I mouthed something about looking for her sister to get her an invite to her birthday party, since she might be happy where she's living and coming to visit on the regular is sometimes the best adults can do, then hustled her to the Bath and let her sisters distract her the way they always do. I thought maybe we've hit some kind of critical mass of children, where they've kind of formed a self-supporting little tribe of their own, only really needing the four of us to reach the high shelves and shit like that.

Wound up really distracted for most of the day Wednesday, tryna think of how to find Adrienne. Being Co-Located to spend the day with Marie, Saffron, Siobhan, and the kids didn't help matters in the slightest. Late in the day I begged off from all of them, hopped up to my little shack atop the Bore with one of the big tureens I'd stolen from Lancaster House back in the day, packed it with the purest snow I could find, melted it, and poured power into scrying on my daughter's sister.

Wound up with a headache and a image seared into my skull of what I suspect was my own rectum. Saffron did not fail to notice my booger look when we sat down to dinner. She set Marie to feeding Siobhan in my chair, then came over and sat in my lap, putting her arms around me and laying her head against my chest. What's wrong, love? I realized right then that I couldn't go all bitch mode, both because Saffron didn't deserve it, and Ria might hear that there were difficulties with the whole 'project find Adrienne'.

I took a deep breath, deliberately filing my nose and lungs with the scent of my beloved Kitten's hair, then let it out slowly, enjoying the feel of her reaction to my warm breath across her scalp, trickling down her neck and into her collar. Sorry, Kitten. You heard Ria's ask, right? I did. How is this related? I blushed a little. I just spent like, I dunno, an hour trying to Scry on her. Is that what all that Mana was? I nodded. Yeah. I think I hit some kind of Fae anti-Scrying defenses.

Maybe something else too, I dunno. Got nothing but a headache and maybe an auto-goatse for my troubles. She smiled against my chest. Well, at least you got a nice view out of it then. Really, Kitten? She pulled back and looked up at me.

"I remember, love. Sixth, right after your piercings." I chuckled.

"Which we both know I don't have."

"Yet."

"I'm in danger." She pulled herself up and kissed me. Without our lips breaking contact, she whispered, "you love it."

"I do." Then, because I'm me and she's her, I followed that with, "still sixth though." Then I sighed.

"So what am I gonna do?" Perhaps ask the Imperator if her new spy network has found out anything about the Overlord's daughter, per the Overlord's request? I just stared at her, mouth hanging open, until she scrunched her nose and giggled.

"You're so cute when you're flummoxed." The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

"Later? I'm feeling hungry."

"For this lovely meal Marie has prepared for us? Meat pastries tonight!"

"Yeah. That too." My lovely Kitten made me wait. Not that I'm really complaining. Dinner was incredible; Marie had worked some really tasty parts of the bear meat into a flaky pastry. Like some kind of pain au ours. No, I did not take a year of French. That's from the pastry that put the junk in my pre-Isekai trunk. And really shitty Yaoi with French subtitles. But... bear pastry, eminently nommable. After dinner she took her time scrubbing me in the shower. Nothing outright pornographic, the kids were watching.

Just alternately gentle and thorough. Then she had me do the same to her. She's absolutely adorable when she's trying to hide her reactions to that, by the way. Even if she is absolutely capable of hiding it so well the kids had no idea she was hiding anything. After that a long, hot soak. Longer than normal, and the fire she'd stoked almost went the way of the children, who all stumbled downstairs half asleep.

The moment their little snores sounded, she had the four of us in the Bedroom, where she looked up at me and said, "well, what are you waiting for?" Lying there with an exhausted Marie curled over me, I pulled her and Siobhan to me where they'd slumped onto one another and said, "uh, were you expecting me to ask about Adrienne?" Eyes still half shuttered, she chuckled and said, "is there any way I could reply to get you to do that again?" I snorted.

"Yeah, probably not. I mean, okay, complete honesty I'm sure you could, but I really would like to know what we know about Adrienne at this point."

"So dedicated to the happiness of our daughters." She nudged Siobhan and Marie.

"It's adorable, isn't it?" After getting muttered agreement, she half muttered, "so tempted to just adore you until you forget and fall asleep." Then she shook her head.

"But you really are trying. So. Ready?" I shrugged.

"Might ask you to repeat shit when I'm less horny and or winded, but yeah." She giggled, the sound echoed by Siobhan, who'd wormed her way under Marie until only her mouth and nose peeked out.

"Well then. Adrienne Crow, third child of Lady Tallulah Crow, was exiled from the Overlord's Keep in Rich Man's Port roughly a decade ago. She was never formally exiled from Rich Man's Port itself, although it's unlikely she stayed in the City."

"Why?"

"Her exile from the Keep was public. The only ones who would have taken her in were her mother's enemies, and my sources and I have yet to discover any evidence that Adrienne bears her House any ill will."

"Uh..." Saffron's hands had disappeared, one of them snaking its way behind me to snuggle into me. No idea what the other one was doing, but Siobhan's giggles hadn't stopped.

"As best we can discover, which included some oblique questioning of Cailyn, the matter was entirely personal between Tallulah and Adrienne. They are a prideful mother and her willful estranged daughter, yet it seems they are still mother and daughter. Tallulah's enemies in Rich Man's Port would want Adrienne as a bargaining chip or a potential replacement, and I cannot see any of Tallulah's daughters allowing themselves to be used like that."

I nodded, enjoying the way Marie's ongoing satisfied purr vibrated all three of us against one another. Mountains rippled, but I stayed strong and listened.

"Okay. Got it. So she left town. How old was she?"

"Young Adult. Were she Human, call it late teens, early twenties."

"Do I even want to know how old she is in actual years?" Saffron shook her head.

"Love, as the calendar records such things, Ria isn't that much younger than I am."

"Really?"

"Really. Sidhe mature slowly. Although they apparently can learn Skills as proficiently as their age mates. Which means old Sidhe are Skilled indeed." I shook my head, a self deprecating grin sliding across my face.

"Yeah, and Adrienne has Skilled up her anti-Divination, hasn't she?"

"It appears so, although I'm uncertain why. At any rate, to the best of our ability to determine, and to be clear I've had your father and our son assisting as they will, Adrienne Crow has not crossed the Atlantic since her exile."

"Okay, so she's in Atlantis somewhere?" Saffron cocked her head side to side.

"She could have travelled West. Believe it or not, you have better connections there than anyone else in the Alliance at this point."

"Really?"

"Tallulah doesn't actually patrol or guard her Western border, such as it is, she's West of Calverton and Norfolk, Phileo is west of New Amsterdam, and Lord Leonard Lancaster did not lower himself to extending diplomatic overtures to 'savages'." For an entirely different, if older reason, I said, "Really?"

"Are you really surprised at his arrogance or his racism?" I sighed.

"No, not really. I'll check in with Rabbit on my ride along next week." She sighed back at me.

"Monday to Friday again?""'Fraid so."

"Well then. If you can confirm she didn't head West, that leaves North and South. I also don't believe she's currently in the Alliance." I raised an eyebrow, and she replied with a droll, "do you really want to hear my tale of looking through dry reports for days on end?"

"Ah, no."

"Would you rather be doing something else?" Turns out I wasn't as sated as I thought. Or they weren't. Okay, things weren't as athletic, but sometimes quiet and gentle is fun too. Dreamt of my ladies gently shoving crochet versions of their foodstuff selves into my Maw. Weird. Not sure if I loved or loathed the mouth feel. More testing required. Woke up and got myself to class.

When Doc Roberts walked in with Siobhan, most of the class following them, I stood up, walked up to her, kissed her until I felt her toes start to curl up, then said, "see you when you're done for the day, Darling." Hopped on over to Dad's place. He smiled when he looked up from his table, where he and Sigyn sat eating what looked like a late breakfast.

"Good Morning, Daughter."

"Hey, Dad. You and Mom have time to talk today? Maybe time to give me some pointers on Scrying, or maybe some other Divination stuff?" They looked each other for one of those brief moments of spousal communication where they said more to each other without words than younger married couples could with days of bickering conversation.

"We had no plans that can't be rearranged. What brings you to us?" I sighed.

"I think maybe I've been backsliding a little when it comes to my whole bettering myself thing. Might just be stress talking, but had some stuff to talk about. Or maybe just talk about a little and schedule some time when you two and Marie and Saffron and maybe Siobhan now can help me straighten my shit out." He chuckled.

"Your 'therapy' sessions resemble 'interventions' more and more, daughter. At least superficially."

"Yeah, I'm a hell of a mess, aren't I?" He shook his head, smiling fondly.

"No, Daughter. You're simply... well, I think you can relate. You're simply a handful." I laughed out loud at the thought of me and my ladies sitting talking to Menace like this at some point in the future. Then choked myself thinking about whether she'd be asking us about herself, or Liam, or I don't know who yet.

"Thanks, Dad. I think I just got my first gray hair." He very pointedly looked up away from me, putting one hand between his face and my general crotch region.

"Please, I do not need to see proof."

"DAD!" I broke down laughing. Point to him. I laughed until I cried a little, then said, "Oh, I also got my head shoved up my own ass trying to scry on someone. So maybe a few pointers on that?"

"Of course, daughter." We sat there for a bit, until Sigyn leaned her head on her hand, her elbow propped on the table.

"So, daughter. Where did you want to begin?" I thought about that for an endless second, then smiled.

"Have I told you guys about Siobhan yet? Since our date?"