Chương 598: Day Five Hundred And Ninety-Six

Dear Diary, Actively considering going to Lord Leonard Lancaster for advice on anything other than how to clench my asshole so tightly it can prevent crossbow bolts from entering seems unnatural and wrong, enough that it's seriously damaging my calm when I'm tryna focus on hunting down the source of the kaiju bears. Worse, I'm not sure whether the fact that I'm seriously thinking about doing it is a sign that I'm being corrupted by my environment or just growing up.

Fuck, it would suck if those two things aren't actually mutually exclusive, or even worse, are connected. It's not the same as it was with Larry. With him, I spent a solid couple months, maybe more, working with him to maybe bring him around to pulling his head out of his ass, not to mention seeing him as something other than a vague threat and annoyance.

By the time I saved Lachlan from death due to plague, he'd already more or less matured and improved to the point where I could tolerate being allies with him; maybe even friends at some future date. Really Bonnie did a lot more of that work than I did, but still, the work got done. Since then, he's only improved, even if he's still got that essential Larry-ness that makes me roll my eyes. But then, Bonnie seems to like it.

Leonard, on the other hand, hasn't really been anywhere in my orbit since the Battle of the Walls. I mean, yeah, he works with Saffron on the daily, what with him being the High Councilor for Phileo, but I dunno if that environment is really one that makes for life changing realizations.

He's also way further along his life's path than Larry was, so he had to be way more set in his ways before he encountered my Kitten and I, before I inspired his own son to grab fate and Lancaster's power in his hands and tell his dad he was now the de facto Lord of Lancaster House. Then again, I hadn't seen the slightest bit of interference from him since then.

Like, I'm sure if I asked him, he'd be all 'it would be dishonorable and invalidate this test of his new policies should I seek to prevent him from implementing them'. That's just the kind of asshole he is. But then, of all the types of assholes, and lemme tell you, I've met more than my fair share, 'anal retentive to the point of possible pathology' isn't the worst ever. Shit, he hasn't said word one about his son marrying a Bag.

That implies that the systemic racism and sexism in his Lancaster House wasn't a personal preference, just shit he grew up with that nominally worked and he saw no reason to change. I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse. Sure as shit makes me shudder a little just thinking about it though. Reminds me a little of Conrad, too, that whole 'better death than loss of even the slightest amount of integrity'. Because Conrad has that, for all his sociopathic creepiness.

All that aside, I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and talk to him at some point. Probably best to talk with Saffron about it, either so my visit doesn't disturb her Council wrangling or, even better, somehow helps her with it. All that's for later, though. Probably next week, since I'm gonna avoid back to back excursions if I can at all help it. When I got home after a day of Cadet wrangling, Saffron looked almost as fatigued as I felt.

"What's up, Kitten?" I asked before Siobhan dropped into my lap and stuffed a piping hot fresh dinner roll into my mouth. Saffron held up a finger while she chewed the roll Marie'd just fed her.

"Sorry, love. That was too good not to concentrate on. I've been going over reports we received from Marshall duBois and Ambassador Potami. Well, reviewing them with the rest of the Council, since Grand Councilor Orange somehow intercepted them. Thankfully Lord Lancaster kept her from turning this Grand Council session into an absolute circus.

Instead, I simply had to keep everyone focused on not jostling their elbows too much, while preparing both a punitive expedition should Saint Boltophsburg do something untoward to our representatives, and a gift package should the Marshall need such to convince them to sign some lasting agreement with us."

"I'd say something like 'preparing for every eventuality', but I think that's kinda redundant when talking about you and plans." She snorted, savored some stew, then said, "Of course not. I hardly prepare for every eventuality. Just the ones I foresee as both likely and in need of prior preparation for proper response." I chuckled a little, then focused on my own dinner. You really don't have to do this, Darling. If Siobhan blushed a lot at that, she didn't stop.

"But you seem tired and stressed, and I enjoy it." This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there. You just be sure you get yourself fed too, or I'm gonna momma bird you. She stuffed a roll into her own mouth, then thought, oh, damn. You weren't talking about vomiting into my mouth, were you? I shrugged. Guess we'll never know. When this whole thing with the Dire Bears is resolved, I hope we have some time that isn't so... rushed. I swallowed.

"Yeah, me too. For all of us."

"I'm not sure the Imperator's work ever quiets down that much."

"It will if I show up and explain very politely that I will be very upset with anyone who interrupts her much needed vacation." Then I had a thought.

"Or, better yet, honeymoon." Siobhan's face fell a little bit, and I turned her to face me with a gentle hand on her chin.

"I'll have to let Headmaster Miles know the same thing about our Concubine, too."

"But... I..."

"Will definitely be joining us. Unless you'd rather not?" Definitely fun teasing her just a little, especially with how gleeful she'd gotten when I told her she'd be honeymooning with the three of us.

"No, no, I'd love to come."

"Well, I'm sure you'll do that then too."

"Tabitha!" She stuffed another roll into my mouth before I could declare victory. In the Bath, while the kids played, she floated between us. She looked to Saffron, then Marie, before quietly asking, "are both of you sure as well?" In response, Marie slipped under her, then pulled Siobhan to her, Saffron and I coming in from the sides to embrace her.

"The wedding and honeymoon are Marie's most of all, but we wouldn't dream of not having you be part of both, Darling." Dreamt of the three of them snuggling as they floated in my Maw. Woke up early, hopped down to the kitchen to find my tinker pack all loaded up.

"Thanks, Marie." I reached for the pack, but she slapped my knuckles with a wooden spoon, then pointed to a counter with a stool sitting next to it. A big domed tray sat on the counter.

"Breakfast." I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her to me long enough for the temperature between us to equalize completely.

"Thanks, Mittens."

"Welcome." Spicy eggs, jalapeno scrapple, sausages, chicken tenders, and gravy syrup all over a petite waffle.

"You know I don't have class today, right?" She nodded.

"Eyes." I thought about that as I nommed.

"More in the pack?" She nodded.

"Dawn. Dusk." When I finished, I hugged her again.

"Thanks, Mittens. Can't wait to get you good and Married." She purred out, quietly, "pregnant?" I looked down, realizing right then that as usual, she wasn't wearing anything under her Maid's outfit. Including footwear.

"Are you really asking me to add 'pregnant' to your existing conditions of 'barefoot' and 'in the kitchen'?" She nodded, tongue lolling out just a little as she chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"Just so long as you're sure that's what you want." She kissed me, long and hard, a drawn out, Yes. echoing through my head as she did. Then she set me down, frowned, and pushed me toward my pack with a gentle smack on the ass.

"Work." I grabbed my pack, blew her a kiss, and stepped to the Academy Entrance. Headmaster Miles saw me, nodded, and stepped into his office. All six of my Senior Cadets stood there. Today they'd all brought tinker packs along. All but Ryan had Crossbows as well. I'd seen her using her bow to fire faster than some semiautomatics, so I wasn't gonna quibble with her keeping it.

"Everybody switching to Crossbows now?" They looked at each other, chuckled, and O'Brien of all people shrugged, looked a little sheepish, and said, "None of us really do much in the way of sniping, and if we have even the slightest bit of prep time we can hand her," he nodded at Cadet Chloros.

"Four more cocked Crossbows to snipe with. Depending on the need for Brown to coordinate us, he can reload for her as well." I looked at Brown, who shrugged and said, "if we're up against a Dragon, that's likely my best role, since my Shaping won't be terribly useful offensively." I thought about that for a second.

"Can you lift O'Brien?" They shrugged again.

"You're right, I could be useful for extraction, but with any luck at all, we won't need that." I nodded.

"Just so long as you've thought of it. You all ready?" When they nodded and joined hands, I stepped us to the top of the West Tower. It said something about the size of the tower that we weren't really crowded standing on the roof.

"Uh, Champion?" Aetos looked over the side, looking maybe a little greener than he had any right to.

"Just keeping you all clear for the moment." I reached out, pulling my biggest local tentacle across to the Mortal Realm. I focused on the path the Dire Bear had knocked through the woods, where no big trees had survived unscathed.

"Hang on to the railing, please." I pulled another couple tentacles across as well, then went to town. The smaller tentacles yeeted the big trees to the side, the bigger ones smashed whatever remained flat. Within a few minutes, the treacherous terrain left by the Dire Bear's passage had been flattened to something closer to cleared fields. Okay, still a lot of up and down, and still some clutter, but nothing we had to climb over or under.

"That... definitely makes me feel a lot better if we wind up facing a Dragon or something similar," said Mackenzie. I stepped us all to the edge of the forest.

"Yeah, don't let your guard down. Those only stretch so far. I'm not sure they'd reach the spot the bear bivouacked." As we ran, I thought about why I'd burst her bubble. Didn't take me long to realize; nothing quite so bad for morale as the cavalry not showing up when you expect them right behind you.