Chương 8: Chapter 7: Alone

Walking took much longer than using my scooter or riding in Emily's car. Even though I wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed, it definitely felt like it was taking forever to get anywhere. When I passed anything resembling a landmark, it felt like even more time had gone by than the gap between it and the previous indicator. Even so, I was still feeling great. Moonlight shone down across the landscape before me, paving the road in a pale glow.

A car would speed its way past me every now and then, and I would dive behind the nearest cover before it could spot me. I'd yet to see Emily's car, but I knew she was looking for me. My phone kept going off in my travel bag, making a small buzzing feeling softly jolt into my back. It had to be Emily, but I had continued to keep my location sharing off. She had no way of knowing where I was unless I told her myself.

Expecting to see her car with every passing pair of headlights, I watched from my various hiding places as each vehicle continued down the road. I never saw her, but it didn't mean getting spotted by someone else was wise, either. Having anyone see me was a risk. After checking my phone for the time, I realized I'd been walking up this windy mountain road for just over an hour. The adrenaline from my 'escape' was starting to wear thin.

Each time my phone rang, the initial pride and vengeance I had felt was slowly and steadily replaced by a small amount of guilt. A small amount, but not enough to convince me to turn back. I was committed to this trip. But… maybe if I answered the phone and told Emily what I was doing, at least she wouldn't be worried. No. I gave my head a light shake, reminding myself exactly what I'd felt when I'd discovered everything she'd hidden from me, all the lies she'd told me. Emily could have told me at any time…

and she never did. Maybe she deserved to feel worried and uncertain… just like I was. What I really felt, though, was betrayed… by the only people I'd ever known. It was better for me to let the situation continue, not intervene with my own plans unless I had to. If I didn't try, I'd simply be getting in my own way. I noticed a light coming over the hill behind me. However, this light was far brighter than any of the other cars I had seen. Diving behind a tree, my eyes scanned the area, expecting a car or truck.

What I saw instead was a helicopter. The loud whirring of the blades loomed overhead as the spotlight attached to the aircraft scanned the road only a few feet from me. As soon as it appeared, it was gone. Still, it hadn't noticed me. If I was right, there wasn't much farther to go until I reached the house… what was left of it, anyway. Is that helicopter looking for me? Figuring it was best not to find out, I picked up my pace. Not long after, however, I was hearing sirens ahead of me.

Quickly slipping into the ditch next to me, I missed the headlights becoming visible by seconds, along with flashing red and blue lights. Despite being covered in snow and cold water soaking into my clothes, I didn't move an inch until the police car was well out of my view, whizzing by faster than any other car I had seen that night. As I turned toward my destination, I watched the helicopter for a few moments as it flew over a mountain, the spotlight still searching along every road.

Gaze falling back down to the pavement in front of me, I continued staring at it. There wasn't much farther to go before I got to the driveway. Walking next to the road didn't feel safe anymore. Had Emily called the police? Did they know about me? Trudging through the snow, but away from the road, I continued making my way back to the house. As long as I took another route to get there, I should be able to avoid any trouble.

Dwelling on any of my questions wouldn't help, but that knowledge didn't stop me from thinking about what was going on in the final miles to my destination. The snow came up pretty high on my body, yet I kept moving as quickly as I could manage. Without the road to guide me, I was forced to try and maintain a consistent distance from the road, using landmarks and the faint sounds of police sirens when they passed.

After a few final minutes of stumbling through the snow, feeling as if I were wandering aimlessly, I burst free of the woods and onto a freshly treaded path. Several tire tracks–once dirt, now snow-covered–crunched the snow down into compact marks. For a moment, I felt like celebrating my success of making it here, only to realize if the police were looking for me, the first place they would look was where I lived. My eyes followed the path in one direction, then the other. No cars…

so at least there was time for me to think. Fresh tire tracks… those could be from the fire trucks from earlier, or Emily's car. I pulled out my phone, turning the flashlight on to get a better look. The problem, however, was I had no idea what details would be of any help. They were tire tracks, sure, but exactly how old were they? For all I knew, Emily had made it back here before I had, and she was waiting for me. With a sigh, I realized I didn't have many options left.

If I turned back, there'd be nowhere for me to go. If I tried to leave now without grabbing what supplies I could find, there'd be no way I could make it. I took a moment to think everything over, then started walking towards the house. Hopefully, things would work out… especially if Emily was there, waiting for me. I got mad and said some things I shouldn't have. Would that apology even be the right thing to say if I ran into a very disappointed Emily? I thought someone was coming in and I freaked out.

My face scrunched up as I cringed. Even if I wasn't the most socially adept, I knew that excuse was flimsy at best. How would anything I said other than the truth explain why I trashed her office, or turned off my phone tracking? There was little I could say to make a reasonable story and I was running out of time. Maybe if I just told her I was sorry, she would understand. Approaching the final turn, and coming over the final snowy hill, the house came into my view, and… nothing.

No Emily, no cars, no helicopter flying overhead. The structure was just as empty as it had been when Emily and I left. Another helicopter flew by, somewhere behind me, and far away, too. If they were looking for me, they were doing a poor job. Whatever I had been thinking about disappeared as I approached the house, swept away along with the last of the smoke which was once here. The feeling of being here alone felt… different, and not right at all.

Burnt wood was scattered around the structure and the smell still lingered in the air. To my surprise, the garage was mostly still standing, but as I walked closer, I saw the real extent of the damage. The car inside was destroyed… yet while I stood in front of what remained of the structure, I could imagine it… the whole house… standing there perfectly. I could imagine myself returning to the building in front of me after a long night of playing music.

I could feel the warmth emanating once I stepped inside the front door on a cold day, and the soft swish of air when the door was closing behind me. I could count every step I would take up to my cozy room, and my soft bed. All of it felt so normal, and I felt like everything in the last few days was just a crazy dream. When I opened my eyes… the burnt rubble was still there. Taking a deep breath, I cleared my thoughts. There was a job here I needed to do. Anything worth taking, I needed to find and collect…

and then get out of here before anyone found me. Since I was already standing near it, I began with the garage. The massive sliding door was already open, with tons of charred remains scattered in various piles. Firefighters must have put the fire out before it reached the inside of the car. I pulled the least destroyed door of the car, the metal giving a loud screech and a bit more resistance than it normally had.

The search didn't take long, but I did find a few useful items: a charger for a phone and a baseball hat in the glovebox. That hat might help with obscuring my face if I needed it. Granted, it wasn't much, but it was still better than nothing. I hopped out of the door, closing it behind me. It slammed just out of place from its original bearing, making the hinges pop loudly before falling to the floor with an almighty thud.

I quickly stepped back, looking at the fallen door while it settled into its new position on the ground. John was fixing this car up only a few days ago. Now, here it was, half melted and completely destroyed. Not wanting to get lost in my thoughts, I shook my head.

"Job, right. I have a job to do." I slipped through the remains of the door leading into the kitchen. This room was the only other part of the house still standing… barely, anyway. Reaching under the cabinets, I pulled out exactly what I was hoping would still be there: a water bottle. There was a second one in the cabinets full of various plastic containers for storing food, and I quickly stowed it away after finding it.

Sadly, it was empty, same as the first one I'd found, and the water would have long since been shut off, but I could always fill them up with water later. As I stood up to full height and looked around me, I saw the entrance to the cellar. The stairs, like anything else made of wood, hadn't survived the fire. Instead, as I looked down into the hole left there, a pit of ash and various splintered sections of wood greeted me. Part of the cellar still looked untouched, though.

With any luck, the canned food survived the inferno. Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. I hopped down into the hole, landing on the debris. Pulling out my phone, I turned the flashlight on, shining it around the area. Luckily, I remembered where things had been stored, and the beam of light landed right on a few shelves of canned food.

"Jackpot!" Plenty of options were scattered across the metal scaffolding, and with no way to take it all, I could pick out what I thought would be best. Quickly, I unzipped my bag, stuffing cans into its open maw until the empty volume was almost completely filled. Corn, sardines, baked beans, tomatoes, chili… all of it should be enough to make it for a few days. If my supply ran out, or I had the opportunity, I'd have to eat whatever I could find along the way.

Returning back to the hole, I looked up to the world above me. The jump must have been about six feet, thanks to the debris filling in some of the height to the concrete hidden underneath it. I jumped out of the entryway, easily landing on my feet in the kitchen. Now back in view of the wreckage, it was hard to not stare at my surroundings, imagining where everything once was. The fireplace was still standing, but everything around it was little more than a mound of ashes and remnants of wood.

As I left out the back door, I slowly came to a stop as something caught my eye. There was a pile of dirt, recently turned, with a cinderblock sitting in the middle of the mound. Even though it appeared to be recently disturbed, there were no footprints leading to it. Whatever was here, it was something before the snowstorm, and before the fire, as well. I pulled the cinderblock to one side. A shoebox lay in the dirt underneath it. What in the world…? Blinking in confusion, I looked around again.

Since it was underneath the back of the kitchen and underneath a non-flammable object, it had been spared the same fate as most of the house. As I picked it up, I read the large word crudely scribbled on top of the box in marker.

"Taxes" With the box in my lap, I opened it up. Sure enough, there was a large stack of papers inside it. Pulling a few of them out, I quickly scanned through the text. Rows upon rows of government forms and printouts stared lifelessly back at me, along with a few printouts of numbers. Why is this here? I took more papers out of the shoebox, but as I continued shuffling through the pages inside the container, my hand hit something else.

Grabbing hold of it, I realized it was a smaller box–and whatever was inside of it was heavy. After I lifted the object free, I carefully turned it over in my hands, inspecting it carefully. The top lid looked like a piece of cloth with an indent pressed into the center. It appeared old, as if whatever was here didn't quite fit. Still, the indentation looked familiar.

"Wait…" I pulled out my necklace from the top of my shirt, leaning forward as I placed it into the slot. It fit perfectly. This box must have been where John had been storing the necklace for all these years. I took the necklace back, tucking it back into my shirt. Grabbing my flashlight, I shone it back onto the box, but now, something was different. It was reflecting colors differently than… anything I had ever seen before, really. Some of the hues shone back almost perfectly, but others weren't glowing at all.

It was as if every last color was woven together and through each other in an impossible way. For a minute, I kept fiddling with the box, albeit carefully. Something heavy was underneath this cloth. As I went to lift it, I noticed my hands shaking. I had no idea what could be inside here. Was it something from my past, maybe something capable of telling me more? If I was lucky, it might even show me where I initially lived. I held my breath, slowly pulling the cloth away.

Underneath the veil, a large orange wheel rested with a square patch leaning against it. I carefully grabbed the wheel and pulled it free from the box. It was heavy, about six inches in diameter. A large groove was cut into one of the sides of the wheel, making the whole circle lopsided. There was a large hole in the middle and the inner core looked like it was made of a sort of metal. The orange outside looked to be rubbery, mostly worn down around the perimeter.

Inside the wheel itself appeared to be burnt, but if the fire hadn't reached the box, it couldn't have been from that night. As I kept inspecting the object, it seemed to be nothing more than a wheel.

"What is this?" I said aloud, disappointed. The necklace must have been a family heirloom or something. As for the patch, I had no idea what it was supposed to be. But this wheel… it hardly looked special, and it definitely didn't fit in with the other two pieces at all. One more time, I looked through every inch of the shoebox, determined to make sure nothing else of value to me was there.

With everything important in my possession, I put the wheel and the patch into the front pouch of my backpack, pushing the cinderblock back to its original position. There was still one more stop for me to make before I started the long road to my new destination. Slinging the now full backpack over my shoulders, I walked in the direction of my treehouse. The walk didn't feel like it took as long as it normally did. All the way, I was thinking about the patch and wheel I now had.

I reached up to my chest, clutching the necklace from the outside of my shirt. They must mean something… It was impossible for them to be random pieces of my life. But what did they mean? The colors in that patch were incredible, as if they were a kaleidoscope with no separation between the individual elements. My mind could barely even fathom it. Before long, I had reached the treehouse. I managed a smile as I looked up at it, the structure looking the same as always.

I climbed up the ladder and closed the latch behind me. There were a few things I needed to take, but for now, I could sit in my chair and collect my thoughts. Reaching over, I tried turning the light on. No such luck; the power was out. Still, it was worth a try. I reached down into my backpack on the floor, pulling out my phone to bring the flashlight back to life. As much as I didn't want to drain the battery, I also wanted to see everything in my treehouse again.

I placed the phone in a way to let the light bounce off the ceiling, allowing me to see the entire room. Everything was right where I'd left it: the instruments all in place, the broken mirror, and the broken ukulele on the ground. I grimaced, feeling a small bit of dread creeping into me. I shook my head, reminding myself to stay in control. Putting the thought out of my mind, I grabbed the patch and wheel out of my backpack, setting them on the table in front of me.

With a moment's pause, I lifted the necklace up and over my head, placing it next to the other objects. Someone had given me these pieces of my past life. There had to be something here I simply wasn't seeing. As I continued staring at the patch, time continuing to march forward, I kept trying to envision the purpose of the three objects in front of me. The possibility crossed my mind of all three being random items, things which meant nothing.

More and more, I started feeling like that conclusion was the correct one. If someone was trying to give me… a clue, a sign, anything… they could have given me a book, a picture, even just a note. Anything would have been better than these three random objects. I sighed. Clearly, I wasn't making any progress. Come to think of it, what was I doing, exactly? I'd left Emily with barely any sort of plan. What now, would I just go and find Oliver after traveling for… however long it would take?

Even if I could, what would I do if I did find him? Emily, at least, had some sort of an idea of what to do, and she knew me. The more I thought about it, the more foolish my plan was. My phone was sitting right in front of me and I could call Emily any time. She'd come and get me, we could go back to our first plan, and I could live with her. Yeah, I could call her at any time… so if things don't work out with finding Oliver…

It wasn't a bad idea for me to keep going until I felt like it was too much for me to handle. Emily didn't have to be my first plan. She was the backup, my way out if things got overwhelming. Taking a deep breath, resolve steeled, I twitched slightly in surprise as the phone rang once again. I knew what I had to do. Picking up the phone and tapping the answer button, I instantly heard Emily's voice coming through.

"Tess, are you there?! Tess–""Emily, stop!" I yelled over her, "just stop for a second." The voice at the other end went silent. I hadn't planned what I was going to say, but I felt the best place to start was with what was on my mind.

"I'm…ugh, I'm…really angry with you right now." I sighed, keeping my voice level.

"You could have told me everything. You could have told me the truth. Look, I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I destroyed your office. I'm sorry I've been keeping you out of the loop, but I really don't want to talk to you right now. I think I'll be okay on my own for a while, so please stop calling me. I'm okay. If I need you, I'll call, but otherwise? Just… give me some space." Before Emily could respond, I hung up the phone.

I could feel my hearts racing as I set the phone back down on the desk, nearly dropping it in the process. That conversation was the first time I'd spoken to someone that way. It didn't feel like something I'd do… then again, I hadn't felt like myself since the moment I found out about… well, myself. With a soft sigh, I placed the wheel and patch back into my backpack. I slid the necklace back over my head, tucking it into my shirt. Now it was time for me to pick up the things I'd come here for in the first place.

My hand grabbed the top desk drawer, pulling it open. In front of me sat the music players I'd collected over the years. As much as I wanted to take them all, I had to choose a select few. Starting with the genres I liked–classic rock, techno, classical, and pop collections from some eras–I then started looking for labels to fit my current mood. Let's see…' angry', 'frustration', 'confusion'... I had several collections I'd created, but they were also ones I didn't listen to much.

Normally, I didn't connect with those sets as much, but they were unique to have their own set, and given how I was feeling now, it felt right to bring them. Turning one music player over in my hand, my hearts nearly stopped.

'Adventure', written across the front of the label. It was a playlist I never wanted to hear, or even see, ever again. I picked it up, tempted to throw it as far as I could out the window, but my arm wasn't listening to my mind. As much as I wanted to destroy it the way I felt it had indirectly harmed me, it hurt me far more to destroy something that meant so much to me. Music was something I loved dearly, and it would be like shattering a part of my soul.

I sighed before putting it back in the drawer, sliding it shut and loading everything else in my backpack. Grabbing my headphones from the table, I carefully put them around my neck and slipped the cable into my pocket. The battery bank in my lower desk drawer was the last thing I'd come here to get. I scooped it into my hand, shoving it into my other pocket. Since I forgot to charge my phone from time to time before coming to my treehouse to play music, I'd kept it here just in case I needed it.

Luckily, it was still fully charged–and I'd be needing it soon. My phone was nearly dead. Now I had everything I needed. I held my phone out, marking my destination on the electronic map. All I had to do was head in the general direction it told me, and sooner or later, I'd reach my goal.