Chương 10: Chapter 9: Buena Vista

The moon looming in front of me had started making travel more difficult, its now waning cycle delaying its arrival even after the sun long since vanished. Once the golden globe had disappeared beyond the horizon, I decided it would be easiest to find a place to sit and rest until the moon returned and provided enough light for me to see. One after another, my music players were starting to lose their lives as my supplies slowly dwindled.

Though I wanted to bring more with me, everything left behind may as well have been on the other side of the country. Surely after days of walking, I had to be close to a town. I thought I had been approaching one… even the map showed a place filled with grids and streets like Colorado Springs. Once I had climbed the last hill to get a proper view, however, in front of me was nothing more than streets carved out of a large, flat area between the mountains. No houses, no buildings, no cars.

Instead, all I saw was a large cluster of roads for a non-existent city. Far to my north glowed a few dull lights from trailers packed in a tight group, but with the fear of being seen if I approached, I didn't want to take the chance. Approaching a vehicle with anyone near or in it, especially in the middle of nowhere, would be foolish. When the moon had been a full orb of light in the sky, I didn't have to stop as frequently. Stopping meant the cold would get to me more than when I was moving, too.

Several times on my journey, I found myself eating more food than I should. It was hard to stop, though, and I had never spent this much energy every day, hiking for as long as I could manage. Even now, I was consuming the last can of food I had, waiting for the moon to return. Truthfully, it was only the last quarter of a can of tomatoes, one I had been eating throughout the day.

I could have easily eaten several full cans of them, but knowing it was all I had, I avoided opening it until I absolutely had to and only ate from it until I didn't feel dizzy from hunger. Thinking back, I couldn't help but feel jealous of my past self, eating whenever she was hungry and believing the supplies would last the entire trip. Entire trip… it wasn't even enough to last through the first week. Another gust of winter air crashed into me as I shuddered.

I never had an issue with the cold before now, but my long sleeve shirt and jeans weren't enough. There had to be something better, because I was starting to lose feeling in my hands and feet. Looking ahead of me, I noticed a faint light between two large mountains. Hopefully it was an actual town this time, one large enough to have some stores with food and clothing. A plan would have been nice, but there was no way to know what was available until I was there. My phone was now dead and I was out of food.

"Low battery. Shutting down." The sound trailed through my headphones. There went the penultimate music player. I reached into my bag, taking the final compilation of music out and switching from the dead one to my new set. Even without reading the label, I turned the playlist on to shuffle, my guess of music confirmed as the sound of jazz filled my ears. Laying back against the rock I was already resting against, I placed the empty tomato can next to me as the vibrant music and I waited for the moon to rise.

Once the town drew closer, the treeline began to part, welcoming me to the buildings resting soundly. They appeared to be only ten minutes away from me. Including the dirt road, seemingly unused for quite a while, the whole town seemed to be asleep. I was able to fill my water bottle from the stream idly flowing through the ravine when the terrain temporarily leveled out. Given its temperature, however, the water felt more like ice, crippling my body temperature.

Ever since I'd been rationing my food, keeping warm became more and more difficult as time passed. A few minutes after I had waded through that freezing river to find my necklace, I had eaten three cans of food and felt fine minutes later. Now, every time a cold breeze rushed over me, it felt like cold steel slicing straight into me. My feet, hands and ears were constantly numb, with no relief even when I was moving.

Continuing on my path, I looked at the incline ahead, and the drop of the ravine into the awaiting water. It didn't look especially deep, nor did the current appear fast. Even so, just thinking about falling into that frigid water made me shudder. While I carefully made my way past the slightly narrowing path, I could see four street lights ahead, the bulbous glow dimly lighting a small bridge.

Two lights stood on the end closest to me and two more mirrored them on the other side, with no sign of life anywhere between or around them. I looked up at the moon, then around at my position. If I had to guess, it was probably very early in the morning, maybe about three-o'-clock. Slowly, almost painfully slow, I made my way toward the gateway to the town. Even in the few days of travel, the landscape had changed drastically. Hiding behind trees had been much easier when they were scattered everywhere.

Crouching next to the flora nearest the bridge, I waited a few minutes. No signs of life came by, and it would only take a few seconds to cross. As I peered out from my position, I spotted some large bushes on the opposite side. Putting my headphones around my neck and turning my music off, my ears twitched as I listened carefully to the silent world. Only the gentle wind lazily shaking the trees and the calm flow of water under the bridge returned their melodies to my ears.

As much as I wanted to minimize my time in the light, my legs were shaking from all the hiking. I'd have to walk across it. I approached slowly, carefully looking at both sides of the road, then hustled across as fast as I felt I could… which turned out to not be very fast. I knew my muscles were sore, but they were practically begging for me to stop after I had only reached the halfway point.

Slowing as I got to the other side, I looked to the bushes I planned to make my hiding spot, then glanced around in every other direction. Nothing was happening. No headlights, no one talking in the distance… maybe there was nothing to worry about. Keeping my headphones around my neck, I decided I could relax a bit if I kept up my guard. Now with an unobstructed view of the town, I could tell it was large enough to have a place for me to eat.

I continued along the side of the road, admiring the small, quaint collection of houses on either side of me. Even with no lights on and no cars driving in the street, the change in scenery from wilderness to society brightened my spirits a little. As I slowly continued my walk into the town, my eyes darted towards any spot I considered a possible hiding place in an emergency.

Every intersection I passed was littered with stop signs, but looking farther ahead of my position, I could see stoplights in what must have been the center of the city. Soon standing in front of the main road, I peered past the buildings to look to my left and right. Stoplights and streetlights adorned both directions, but it was clear from the amount of stores that I should be going left. There were more places to resupply, and I could walk as far into the shadows as possible as I continued.

Now in the middle of looking for food and clothing, my moral compass started to gnaw away at me, making me reconsider exactly how much I should take. Right now, anything was enough… even a dumpster of food was starting to sound appetizing. Only a few stores down the road, a bright yellow trail of letters caught my attention. They rested near the top of a large brick building, reading "State Highway Department" in big, bold text.

Underneath was a similarly colored, slightly smaller sign for "Trailhead", and just after was a restaurant named "Simple Eatery". A sharp pain jolted through my stomach as it begged me to fulfill its expectations. My hunger was so bad I couldn't even think straight. The desire in me was practically guiding my legs towards the restaurant, mouth watering as I peered inside the window. It was dark, but I could still see the pastries taunting me behind the counter opposite the door.

I could feel myself shaking, unsure if it was from the cold or the hunger. Normally, the thought of breaking into a store would terrify me, but all I could think about was how good those pastries looked. I had to get inside. The windows are large, and I passed some rocks less than a minute ago. I shook my head. What am I thinking? I wasn't that desperate… yet.

Still able to convince my body there was another way, I started walking around the building, looking for some other entryway which wouldn't result in causing heavy damage. On the first side of the brick wall, there was a clear dip in the height of the structure. Normally I'd be able to jump onto it with ease, but that idea wasn't possible now. An electrical conduit ran up the side of the building, but given its size, it probably wouldn't support my weight.

With no luck so far, I continued down the wall, turning to my right again to look at the back of the building. A large, green dumpster rested against the wall. It was possibly the extra platform I needed to get myself up to the roof. As I drew closer though, I remembered my earlier thoughts. Curious, I opened the dumpster lid, only to find it empty. I sighed. I could probably make it up to the roof on my own, but with my backpack? If I leave it here, it might get stolen…

but if I throw it onto the roof and I can't make it, it'll be stuck. Not wanting to accept either of those options, I kept my backpack on, took a deep breath, and charged toward the dumpster. The first jump was perfect, but as I put pressure on the lid, the extra weight caused the platform to buckle. With a sudden lack of jumping power, I launched toward the roof at an awkward angle as panic quickly set in.

My hand grabbed the corner of the roof as the rest of my body swung, nearly causing me to fall back to the ground. After a few seconds of struggling, I barely managed to pull myself over the ledge, giving a light gasp as I felt the straps on my shoulders coming loose. Somehow, my bag managed to make it safely as well. I picked it up, frantically rummaging through it. Everything was still there, but one strap was completely destroyed, and the other didn't look like it had much life left in it, either.

Sitting down, I let the last of the breath I'd been holding escape me. It felt strange, I should have been more upset at the destruction of what little I had to my name. Instead, it felt like I wasn't feeling enough, just taking it in stride. This setback was part of the adventure, and it was simply part of the hand I'd been dealt. The realization of my naïveté hit once again, making me wonder if I should have stayed with Emily. No, dwelling on that thought wouldn't do me any good.

My stomach was quick to agree, giving a sharp stab of pain once again. I picked up my backpack, holding it in my hands. The remaining strap wouldn't last if I tried using it. Luckily, an old, metal door rested only a few feet away, leading into what must have been the stairwell. Trodding over to the door, I put a hand on the ice cold handle, giving a silent plea. With a small amount of force, the handle turned, and the door opened.

A massive sigh of relief escaped me as I quickly slipped into the stairwell, enjoying the warmth from the building and lack of wind against my body. As I closed the door behind me, the world went pitch black, save for a light emanating from the bottom of the staircase. Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on. Once I was in the main building, I felt my sense of smell start to return as the warm air defrosted my nose.

All of the wonderful scents of cinnamon, bread, and sugar consumed any of my other thoughts as I found my way to the counter I had seen from outside. A single, dull light flickered overhead, leaving an angelic light on my prize: an entire wall of breads and pastries. It was nothing short of a bloodbath. I didn't hesitate as I reached into the shelves, gorging myself on anything within my reach. It was my reward for making it to the town, and my belly couldn't be more grateful.

What each bite of food was hardly mattered. The moment my mouth was empty, I grabbed for the next item, consuming everything in front of me. Only when I felt my throat getting dry did I pause, looking around to see a nearby sink. I turned the faucet on, pulling my water bottle out of my bag and running it under the tap for a few seconds. Satisfied with the amount of water, I pulled it away and turned it to my lips, giving a small twitch at the hot water entering my mouth. Still, the warmth was a wonderful surprise.

Putting the bottle back under the tap, I grabbed another pastry, scarfing it down as my water bottle was filled to the brim. A few minutes later I stepped back, panting heavily as I caught my breath. I could feel my mouth covered in crumbs and the distention of my stomach after eating as much as I had. Finally, the mental clarity had returned, the fog in my head replaced with the weight in my body.

If I thought it was safe to take a nap on the floor, I would have flopped right down on the ground and fallen asleep in seconds. Instead, I looked at the carnage in front of me. There were still some pastries left. As I looked them over, considering which ones to bring, my body suddenly froze. I'd stolen this food. The thought was unpleasant, the weight of my decision far more uncomfortable than the one in my stomach. I'd stolen from someone I didn't even know. … I'll pay for it later.

Although I didn't know exactly how much I'd eaten, I could always send the owner a large amount of money at a later time. It wasn't a great idea, but it was enough comfort to start loading food into my bag. Closing up the zipper, I slung it over my shoulder, only to hear a loud crash behind me as the backpack slammed onto the ground. Right. The straps. I looked around the nearby area for a rope.

There was nothing in my immediate vicinity, but once I noticed the other half of the store, I remembered the sign outside, "The Trailhead". Sure enough, all of the equipment on the remaining half of the floor was built for outdoor sports, hiking included. Tons of clothing lazily rested on racks, boots perched along the shelves and all the remaining winter gear was intermittently scattered. Pausing for a moment, I looked down at my hands. I already stole food…

but if I keep track of what I take, I can pay them back later. Somehow. Even as I walked through the various shelves looking for equipment, I still felt that small bit of guilt gnawing away at me. Still, something had to change. I couldn't make the remainder of the journey with the same equipment, especially with my gear starting to wear out. There wasn't any choice if I was to keep going. Besides, I could always leave a note on the counter explaining the situation. Yeah, that would make it okay for now.

With everything on the current row too big for me, I moved to the next aisle, looking at the section marked for children. The hiking bags were smaller, and as I tried wearing one, it felt like a near-perfect fit. Although I didn't really care about the style of any of the travel equipment, I picked out the darkest color one, hoping it would be harder to spot while I kept my profile low. Thankfully, locating a jacket fitting my frame was much easier. I found a dark colored, children's sized puffy jacket.

Surely it would keep me nice and warm. As I tried on the new clothing, I found the length of the coat too short, only slipping down to my upper belly. The next largest size fit my body, but now the sleeves were too long for my arms. Deciding I could simply roll up the sleeves, I took the larger jacket with me, moving onto the gloves. After a few minutes, I could feel myself glaring at the rack full of them. None of these had enough finger holes for me. I took two pairs of the winter gloves.

Ultimately, tearing a few of the fingers off one glove and sticking them on the other could be a temporary solution, one I concocted after finding some giant safety pins. It wasn't exactly a long-term fix, but for the time being, it would do. By far, the biggest problem was the pants. The appropriate sizes would mostly fit, but my tail meant cutting out a hole, and that requirement would mean a loss of heat.

After some deliberation, I decided to take two pairs of pants: one I could tear a hole in the back and another to rip a pant leg off and wear it around my tail as a makeshift glove. It was anything but a fashion statement, but it was also better than nothing. As I looked through the hats, running into a similar problem, I thought about John and Emily. They were always the ones to give me clothes. All the modifications were probably done by one of them before I ever saw the results myself.

Now having to deal with it all on my own, I realized just how much I had to consider about my clothing… and just how much they had considered when making clothing for me. I could mess around with modifying the clothing tomorrow. For now, I shoved all my new equipment into my bag. Clothes now nestled in the new backpack, I stuffed the old one into it, too. Turning around, I looked at a wall with a large selection of tents and sleeping bags. Another night sleep on the cold, hard ground was the last thing I wanted.

Toward one end of the wall, I found a small tent with a sign, listing the occupancy as one person. I'm one person. I slipped it into my new gear, heading to the sleeping bags. Finding a compact sleeping bag, I tucked it away as well, thankful for its small size. It would easily fit into my bag. Their bag. My resolve steadied. I would pay for this all later. I wouldn't forget it. As I started walking back to the bakery I saw a shelf filled with various survival equipment.

I grabbed a map, a compass, some pens, and a few candy bars. Just as I was about to leave the store, I noticed one last aisle, full of camping stoves at the front. Toward the far end, however, there was a large selection of packaged food. I walked past the stoves. Knowing it would just be extra weight and space for something I didn't know how to use. After my limited options of food, seeing all the various types of pasta, crackers, soups, rice, and snacks was overwhelming.

All of it looked wonderful and far too good to simply ignore. At first, I only picked what looked good, but since all of the various morsels looked appetizing, I ended up bringing everything I could until my bag was completely full. After a minute of wrestling the top of the pack closed, I looked around for a moment longer, idly taking a new water bottle off a nearby shelf before I slung the backpack around my shoulders. It weighed quite a bit and I was still feeling tired.

My now clear mind knew I needed to rest, but now with supplies, a full stomach, and some direction, the ultimate goal didn't seem so insurmountable. Click. My body froze. That sound was unmistakably a door being unlocked, and the stairs were between me and the front entrance. I tried to slide into a clothing rack, but the bag was far too large to fit. Panicking, I dropped the bag and climbed in between the clothes, but as I went to reach for the backpack, the lights suddenly illuminated the entire store.

"Hello? Who's there?" A woman's voice rang out, not scared…clearly speaking with authority. Oh no… I didn't answer, hoping she would assume I'd already left. Even so, she'd be looking at all the damage I'd caused. There was no way she wouldn't find me.

"You think you can just come in here and take whatever you want?" She asked, stepping into the store. My body trembled. I held my breath, hoping she wouldn't hear me. Slowly, carefully, I turned and peered through the clothing rack. A large woman wearing a night-gown was holding a hockey stick in one hand, her keys in the other. She was looking directly where I was hiding. Did she see me? No, she probably hadn't. She would have had more of a reaction. Only then did I remember I had dropped the bag.

The woman had probably seen it falling to the ground when she walked into her store. It also meant she knew I was hiding in this clothing rack.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't beat your ass before I call the police." She declared, slowly approaching me. My whole form was shaking. I couldn't think of any options. Letting her see me would get me in even more trouble. Running was impossible; she was blocking my way out of here. I was too tired to sprint anyway. My legs would give out on me before I made it to the door.

"I…d-don't…" I stammered, trying to force words out as every sound continued to get caught in my throat. The footsteps stopped when the woman heard my voice. She could probably hear the fear in my voice as I kept trying to speak.

"... h-have any m-m-money…" I finally managed to splutter out. Silence filled the room as the woman appeared to think for a moment before replying.

"I fail to see how that's my problem." Another step forward, and getting closer and closer to striking distance.

"My dad just died…" I blurted out, unable to think of anything else at that moment. She stopped again, unsure of what to do next. It was as if she was waiting for me. With the burden of breaking the silence off of me, I continued speaking.

"He was killed…I don't know who did it and I was afraid to stay, so I ran away. I've been in the woods f-for over a week and I ran out of food." I took in a deep breath, blinking back tears.

"I'm tired…and alone…and I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm running away from there because…I don't know how to handle…any of this…" Even as I finished talking, I was shocked I was able to say everything I wanted to, especially to a stranger…and especially something weighing so heavily on my hearts. My body continued to shake, but my thoughts felt clearer. The silence resumed for a few moments until the woman asked, "you from Colorado Springs?" Colorado Springs was close enough.

"Yes…" I answered quietly.

"... How old are you?" She asked, and for the first time, I heard compassion in her voice.

"Eighteen." I responded, barely above a whisper. My gaze was glued to the floor. I couldn't bear to look at her any longer. It didn't even matter to me if she saw me anymore. Right now… I was happy to have someone to talk to. The sound of footsteps filled my ears, but the woman wasn't walking toward me. My gaze remained on the floor. Of course, she'd look into the clothing rack, see me, and scream. She'd be afraid of me when she saw me. All I could do was wait for the inevitable.

More footsteps continued around the store as she… inspected the damage, probably. She was probably looking at everything I'd tried to take. Sitting there in shame, I heard the sound of the door opening. I looked up, eyes wide. She was standing in the doorway, her finger on the light switch. The woman threw an envelope my way, the paper thudding to the ground halfway between us.

"Go out the same way you came in, and when you're able to, pay me back for everything I've given you today." She said, a command, but in a much nicer tone than before. My mouth opened, but no words came out. I wanted to say 'thank you', but I was too shocked to give any kind of response.

"When I saw that on the news…" She said, "... I didn't know what to think. It was awful. I didn't know any of them, but…hell, if that happened to someone close to me, I'd probably run, too." I couldn't believe it.

"I hope you find what you're looking for out there, and hopefully you'll land on your feet." She finished. Now I was shaking from an entirely different feeling. What was I supposed to say? Before I could figure out how to respond, the woman turned the light off and closed the door behind her. The snap of the deadbolt rang out as she locked the door again. Her words were ringing in my head. Them. Was there someone else? Who were the others? What was she even talking about?

I slowly emerged from the clothing rack, almost expecting someone or something else to surprise me. Hesitantly, I approached the envelope, lifting up the parchment and looking at the contents. Inside was a wad of twenty dollar bills… at least a few hundred dollars. Staring at it for a moment, I slowly stuffed it into my pocket before I headed for the stairs. Her words were stuck in my head as I climbed to the roof, then jumped to the dumpster, then to the ground.

I headed back down the road I'd initially taken, not wanting to risk any other encounters. It was time for me to leave this town before anyone else noticed me. As I was about to leave the main road, I saw a newspaper stand with a headline with big, bold letters:"Fifty-Six Dead in Colorado Springs Massacre."