Chương 5: Chapter 4: Answers

As Emily and I turned onto the dirt road leading to my house, the last of the clouds started to disappear from the sky. Not long after the two of us had left the city, the snow had stopped. Even though she had to drive relatively slow, Emily's car was able to handle the weather. Since she was the one driving, it gave me the chance to look at all the places I had gone through while I was alone. It felt like a much longer journey when I was by myself.

I sat up as we drove up to the farmhouse, the place I had started my adventure so many hours ago. There, standing at the end of the long driveway, was John. He was wearing his large, puffy jacket and his hefty snow boots… and he didn't look too happy to be standing out in the cold early in the morning. It was a bit worrying to me; I wasn't expecting him to be waiting out here. I thought I'd have at least a few more minutes to think about what I'd say. Not like I would have thought of anything anyway…

"Guess I'm dropping you off here." Emily mused, starting to slow down the car. I didn't respond. I was too focused on John. It was impossible for me to tell if he was mad or upset. Of course I knew I'd messed up, but I still hoped he wouldn't be too angry with me.

"Hey…" Emily said, the car squeaking to a stop as she pulled me out of my thoughts, "you made it back here safe and sound. That's what matters. You have my number if you want to talk, and I'll be back up here next week, okay?"

"Okay…" I responded, slowly. What I wouldn't give to be anywhere except here…but there was no way out. I opened the car door and closed my eyes for a moment. The cold blast of a wintry morning air rushed against my face. Before I stepped out of the vehicle completely, I looked back at Emily. Wish me luck… She nodded back, knowing what I was thinking based on my expression.

"Thanks…" I heard John say, his voice barely over a mumble. Emily responded, "always glad to help." She paused.

"Go easy on her, okay? She's had a rough night." John nodded before I closed the door behind myself. Emily waited only a moment longer before making a u-turn, driving back down the way she'd come. I watched as her car slowly disappeared into the distance. I kept my eyes on her for as long as I could, all the way until she rounded a corner and was completely out of my vision. I didn't want to watch her go, but it was far better than turning around to face the music.

With every passing moment, the gravity of my situation felt more and more real. I was back where I'd started my journey… and now I had a lot to confess.

"We should get back to the house." He said, just as quiet as he was when addressing Emily. Well, he didn't sound angry. I hoped it was a good sign. We began walking down the road, John's boots giving loud crunching noises from the foot of powdery snow. My own footwear made similar, quieter steps. The snow here was thankfully light, despite the depth. I was afraid to be the one to say something first, but John wasn't saying anything either.

Instead, we just walked side by side along the dirt path for a few minutes in total silence. Every passing minute made my situation feel worse. I figured it would be easier to break the tension with something other than my biggest concern.

"I lost the scooter." I said, putting my hands in my pockets. My gaze drifted down to the ground, unable to look at John.

"... why did you leave?" He asked after a moment. My ears went back as I frowned. He wanted a more direct conversation… exactly what I didn't want. I didn't even know how to answer him. Several thoughts rushed through my head, but what was I supposed to say? I'm eighteen and I felt it was time to see something new. I had questions about who I am and why I've never seen anyone like me. My friend told me I should stop being so sheltered.

All of those answers would just lead to more questions, and I didn't want to talk about any of them… not at the moment, anyway.

"... I don't know." It was a weak answer, I knew, but it was all I could reliably say.

"Did anyone see you?" He asked. John's tone was calm, but I could also feel a plethora of thoughts going through his head, too.

"Yes." He didn't say anything immediately, so I decided to ask him a question instead.

"John, what am I?" He stopped. I stopped with him, finally looking up to see his face. He looked tired, pale. Something inside me realized how much was on his mind, just like me…maybe even more than me.

"I…don't know…" He answered. That answer didn't make any sense to me, but rather than press any further, I decided to ask him the next question most important to me.

"Why did that girl scream when she saw me?" John frowned. He hesitated, trying to think of an answer. Before he could, I thought of something else.

"Why did they chase me? Why were they afraid of me? Why…"

"... because you're different," he answered, cutting me off.

"I'm…I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. John looked like he was on the verge of tears as he leaned down, resting on one knee to be on eye level with me. He reached forward, holding my hands as he continued, "Tess, this is my fault. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I wanted to, honestly…but it just never came up, and…I just wanted you to be happy." So…he wasn't upset with me at all? It was a relief, but even as I followed what he was saying, I still couldn't understand.

"What do you mean by 'different', exactly?" I asked. John was shaking, and not just from the cold. His gaze looked along the road. The house was in sight, with only one hill between us and the warmth of indoors.

"I'll tell you when we get back home." He paused.

"I have…a lot to tell you." I nodded. I could wait a few minutes, especially if it meant leaving the frigid temperatures out here. We started walking again, but instead of walking in silence, John started talking to me.

"So, tell me about last night." He said, looking down at me with a small smile. I smiled back, feeling the massive weight lifting off my shoulders. As my current thoughts were pushed away for the time being, I recalled my adventure from yesterday evening, starting with leaving the house. John listened with that same smile as I told him about the ride along the streets and encountering the family while I peeked through the window. I told him all about the city and all the bright lights and loud cars I saw.

We reached the house as I approached the part involving talking to that woman. It was pretty lucky, too… I didn't really want to tell him about that encounter. John walked in first, motioning to the living room as he headed to the kitchen. Free of the chill of the cold, I walked over to the fireplace, waiting as the heat started to warm me from behind. I could hear John boiling a pot of water as I looked down at my hands, thinking about what I was going to say… what I was going to hear.

He came in a few minutes later, carrying two mugs of tea still steaming from the heat. John sat down next to me, carefully handing me one of the mugs. Thankfully, he started the conversation this time.

"Tess, I need to tell you something I should have told you a long time ago." He said, holding his mug in both hands. He continued to look down at his tea while he talked. I looked up at him, listening to every word.

"Eighteen years ago, I was hiking in the woods, just a few miles north of here. There was a snowstorm, a big one. It was late and I was getting ready to come back home when I heard a loud explosion nearby, and then a crash." He paused.

"I didn't know what happened, but I went in the direction of the sound, and that's when I found you, laying in the snow."

"... you just…found me?" I asked, eyes widening a bit.

"I found you." He confirmed.

"After I did, I brought you back here to the house. I figured you must have been very young. You were making noises that sounded like talking, but it sounded like how a toddler would communicate. I did my best to take care of you, but you started getting sick. I called Emily, hoping she would have some idea of what to do. She came up here and figured out what was wrong with you. She helped me take care of you. I didn't have any sort of plan… it all just… sort of happened." He finished, taking a sip of his tea.

I was having a hard time processing everything. John was talking about illnesses or something, but I was still trying to figure out where I had come from in the first place.

"So…I was in a plane crash?"

"Tess… I don't think you understand what I'm saying…" He said, setting his cup down and turning to look at me. He spoke slowly, making sure every word was exactly what he meant to say:"Tess, you aren't from here. I don't mean you're not from this farm. You're not from… here. You're not from Earth. You're from somewhere else." I felt… I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. The last few sentences kept repeating in my head, over and over again, trying to make sense of it. It wouldn't stick in my head.

It didn't sound right. John must have just been mistaken. Maybe he just doesn't know where I came from and he assumed I wasn't from Earth… I looked away from him, staring into the crackling flames of the fire instead. All of my thoughts were colliding through and into each other. I tried and tried to figure out what he meant… but I just… couldn't… think. Nobody else looks like you. Everyone looks a little different… right? Every part of you is different. I tried to find a way to refute that argument…

but I couldn't. My ears were different. I had fur; I had a tail. The more I thought about my physical form, the more obvious it became. It was staring me in the face… for my entire life… but I never took notice of it. Those parts of me had always just been the way things were. I finally spoke up again.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, barely above a whisper.

"I meant to" he responded, "I really did, but it just…it never came up."

"Never…never came up?" I asked. I could feel my anger building the more I thought about his 'reasoning'.

"What do you mean, 'it never came up'? Was I supposed to bring it up? How would I have ever even known about this if you didn't tell me?" John was looking nervous, trying to find the right words, "... it always just felt like it could wait until another time–""When?!"

"I…I don't know." He admitted.

"When I…I thought you were ready…" With each word, John started to fumble his words more and more…and with each word, I felt more and more upset. I was trying to control myself as best I could, but I was approaching my limit.

"Maybe when I first learned to talk? Maybe when I was old enough to do things on my own?! Maybe when you noticed I wanted to meet people, and instead of telling me why I couldn't, you bought me a computer instead…maybe ANY of those times?!" I dropped my mug, barely noticing it fall and clatter to the floor as I jabbed my finger into his chest.

"Maybe I was ready ANY TIME between then and when I turned eighteen years old!" A realization suddenly flashed into my mind.

"Am I even eighteen? Do you even know when my birthday is?!" I could hardly even see him anymore. My vision was too blurred from the tears welling up in my eyes. I felt betrayed. I felt lied to. It wasn't fair…I didn't ask for any of this. I just wanted a normal life with normal friends…and all of those opportunities had been taken away from me. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

"Tess, please…" John said, but I cut him off again.

"Shut up!" Keeping my voice calm and level was impossible, but I wasn't about to stop. Not now.

"I don't… I just…" As much as I wanted to keep going, to let John have it… I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't think of any words to describe what I was feeling. Instead, I turned around, my hands balled up into fists as I made my way to the door. I didn't want to be there anymore… so I decided to just leave. I stormed outside, instantly feeling the icy sting against my feet as I slammed the door behind me. I'd forgotten my hat and scarf, but I didn't care. I was too angry to care.

I headed towards my treehouse. Anywhere I could be away from him and sort out my thoughts was better than here. He's wrong. He has no idea what he's talking about. I kept trying to think of some excuse, any reason why he must have been wrong. I'm a normal person, just like anyone else. He just wants to be overprotective. He's always been that way. Before I even realized it, I was standing in front of my treehouse, simply staring up at it for a few moments.

With a frustrated sigh, I climbed up the ladder, closing the door behind me. I sat down in my chair, arms crossed as I frowned. While I looked at nothing in particular, I just tried to rationalize everything in my head, but my thoughts floated up through my mind and into the sky. Closing my eyes, I leaned back in my chair, still trying to make sense of it all. I didn't even know how long I sat there, just breathing slowly and letting my thoughts try and gather themselves in some sort of way I could follow.

I opened my eyes, trying one last time to think about everything John had told me today. Looking down at myself, I started looking at my body like I had in the mirror not long ago… as if it was the first time I had ever seen it. I looked at my pants… unlike John's, they were always custom made with hand-stitched seams. Until now, I had never noticed. I brought my hand up, examining it again. I had two more fingers than Emily or John had per hand, but only when I wanted them to look that way.

Otherwise, it would only look like I had four fingers… still not matching John's or Emily's… Their fingers don't do anything like that… Turning my hand so the pads on my hand faced me, I traced a gentle line down the surface of my palm. They looked more like something that belonged to an animal… not a person. … it's because I run on all fours… they don't need these pads because they don't run that way.. My phone buzzed in my pocket, making me jump ever so slightly as I looked towards my pocket.

I pulled out my phone, frowning as I was reminded of the cracked screen, text barely legible on it. I opened the messages up to find a text from John:'Come back to the house when you're ready to talk. I have something to show you.' Giving it no further thoughts, I turned the phone off, not even bothering to respond. My eyes drifted shut for a moment, remembering the mirror next to me.

As much as my instinct screamed at me to not look at it, I composed myself, turning my head towards it and letting my eyes slide open once more. My eyes traced over every part of me, and a word sprang to the front of my mind, one I hated. It never occurred to me before, but there it was, in the mirror… staring right back at me. Alien. I hated it. I hated that word. I hated that monster looking at me through the mirror. That creature wasn't me. It was some horrible thing, and it didn't belong here.

That thing wasn't who I was… it was a monster. I reached to the side of me, grabbing the first thing I was able to reach. I threw it as hard as I could at the glass. It made a loud shattering sound as both the mirror and the item came apart, scattering across the floor. Glass sprayed everywhere, along with the pieces of what was once my ukulele. I stared at it for several long seconds before saying very quietly under my breath:"I'm sorry…" Even I didn't know who was getting my apology.

Maybe it was to the ukulele I had just destroyed… maybe it was to myself for not being able to control my emotions. Maybe it was to John and Emily, for taking care of me for all these years, and only getting my ungrateful thoughts for everything they had done. I couldn't tell what I was sorry for, but I knew I was… I was sorry. I slid off the chair, flopping onto the floor and curling up into a ball. I held my tail tightly to my chest, unsure of what else to do.

I hated everything happening and I just wanted all of it to stop. I never should have started asking questions… All of this was my fault. I couldn't take it anymore, so I closed my eyes and just let myself cry.

I spent the day laying there on the floor, just going in circles between emotions I didn't even know existed… ones I wasn't prepared to handle: sadness, anger, confusion, regret, betrayal… and several others I couldn't quite place. I knew in my mind that John did what he thought was best for me, but in my hearts, I felt like he had lied to me for years. At some point, I had grabbed the remnants of the ukulele and tried to put them back together, all in vain. It was destroyed beyond repair.

As I looked at what was left of it, I remembered the person who gave it to me and I reached over, pulling my phone towards myself. It was hard to read, but I was able to navigate to Emily's name on my contacts. There was something I needed to know from her. I hit the dial button, then put my phone on speaker before laying back down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling as I heard the sound of Emily picking up the call.

"Tess, I'm so happy to hear from you. I was worried…" She said. I waited for a moment, taking a deep breath before asking: "Did you know about this, Emily?" She'd know what 'this' was. Although Emily didn't answer at first, a few seconds later…

"... yes… I knew about it. I'm so sorry, Tess, I hope you…" I didn't let her finish. I leaned over, tapping the button to end the call. Hearing any more lies and excuses… that wasn't what I needed. It would just make me feel worse. I'd heard what I needed to: I needed to know that she, too, knew. I sighed. I was just going in circles, and all of this wasn't getting me any closer to… whatever it was I wanted. Still, I hated all of this… it wasn't me.

I didn't act like this; I didn't yell at people or blame them for anything. Turning my head, I looked over at the phone. Hanging up on people wasn't something I did, either. I didn't want to be this way. I sat up for the first time in hours, looking out the window with a sigh. It was dark out. I had spent the entire day sobbing on the floor of my treehouse, and I didn't feel any better now than I did during the day. I reached down, pulling the hatch of my treehouse open and dropping myself down to the ground.

The hatch slammed behind me, but I winced instead from the cold snow on my feet.

How long had I been standing in front of the door to the house? I didn't even know what I was going to say, but I wanted answers. If anyone had them, it would be John. I had gotten worked up again on the walk back to the house, thinking in circles over and over, but once I had reached the door, I breathed in and out. Whatever happened, I had to try and stay calm, relaxed and level-headed. At the very least, John deserved a chance to explain himself.

I reached forward, swinging the door open to find John sitting at the dining room table. He looked up at me, an imprint of his sleeve on his cheek. He'd been waiting all this time? … No. He's the one that did this to me, not the other way around. I walked up to the table and sat across from him, pulling the chair in as I rested my arms on the table. It didn't take but a glance to see how tired he looked, but John still smiled weakly at me.

"Thanks for coming back." He said, his voice hoarse.

"I'm, um…" I started, "... I'm sorry for yelling earlier…and for spilling the drink…" For a moment, I looked down at my hands. Sure, I was angry in that moment, but I didn't like how I reacted either. That person wasn't the person I wanted to be…I was better than making messes and shouting.

"I have something I should have shown you a long time ago." John said. He pulled out a small cloth bag, reaching inside and pulling out a necklace. It had a thin, gold chain and a large piece of glass hung from it. Carefully, he handed it to me from across the table. I took it, examining every inch. The glass was heavy, but about the size of John's thumb. It was a crystal with a piece of metal on the top, right where the chain connected. The metal itself had some silver beads dotted along the top of it.

It looked strange, reflecting and refracting certain colors of light. I wanted to say it was a prism, but it scattered light much more differently than… anything I had seen before, really.

"What is this?" I asked, holding the object up to the light.

"A necklace. You were wearing it when I found you." He said. Pulling it back down towards myself, I looked over every spot once again, but I didn't find anything new. It was a strange thing, eerily pretty, even, but it wasn't anything to bring me closer to what I wanted to know. I placed it down on the table in front of me, keeping a hand on it as I looked up at John again.

"So…after you found me, did you find anything else?" He nodded.

"A few weeks after you arrived, Emily and I went back to where I found you. The blizzard had passed, so we were hoping to find some sort of clue. There was a small, metal ship there…mostly destroyed, but we did see a seat and a small screen inside of it. Everything seemed to be broken, but it did give us an answer to where you came from." I thought about it for a moment.

"No, it didn't…" John frowned, "but…" I spoke up again, "it didn't tell you where I came from, it told you where I landed. Did you do anything? Did you try to figure out where I came from? Was there any kind of clue to tell you where to look?" John shook his head.

"Sorry, that's all we could find. There wasn't anything else." With a sigh, I looked down at the necklace.

"So this is the only thing left?" John knew not to answer. It wasn't like he had an answer to give me. The room suddenly went dark as all of the lights in the house switched off, including the pellet stove in the living room. The fire quickly burned right out.

"Damn…I guess some branches must have fallen on the wires during the storm." John said, turning the light on his phone before getting up from his seat. He started walking towards the cellar. I watched him go, running my fingers across the necklace as I heard him rummaging around for a lantern. A minute later, he returned, holding an oil lamp and a lighter. He placed both on the table, lighting it up to give us a way to see in the small room. As he settled back down, I gave a small sigh.

"I wish you'd told me about this earlier." I paused.

"I wish you didn't make me figure this out on my own."

"I know…it wasn't fair to do that to you. You deserved to know, and I should have told you earlier. The thing about it is…" John trailed off, looking away from me and up to the window past the kitchen door and in the living room. I looked over and saw a car making its way up our driveway, right towards the house. We'd get deliveries from time to time, but never this late.

"Tess, I need you to go up to your room." John said, his voice suddenly much more urgent.

"What's–""Tess. Right now. Go up to your room, lock the door and don't make a sound." He said, tone even more firm than the first time. I knew he meant it, so I put my necklace in my pocket. I quickly scampered up the stairs, going straight to my room and closing the door behind me. The bolt quietly clicked shut as I locked my door. Moving over to the bed, I crouched down next to the floor grating where I could see the back side of the living room.

The view was limited thanks to the two layers of grating and an additional layer of dust, but even though I couldn't see John, I could still listen. There was a knock on the front door. John didn't say anything, and I didn't hear him move. Another knock broke the silence, much louder than the first. The next thing I heard was the door being opened as someone walked inside the house. Whoever it was, they must have seen John in the living room.

"Ah, John, is it? You're just the man I was looking for." Said a man. He had a deep voice.

"You need to leave." John responded simply, firmly.

"Leave? So soon? But it took so long for us to find you." The man responded.

"You wouldn't believe how many hoops we had to jump through to get those delivery guys to spill the beans."

"You've got the wrong person. Now please leave or I'll have to remove you myself." I could tell John was getting angry with the man.

"John, relax. We're not here to hurt you."

"What do you want? Money? I'll give you whatever you want, but please just leave and don't make this worse for anyone." John told him. The man laughed for a moment.

"You know something very interesting, John? Mercury. I find mercury very fascinating. It's strange, don't you think? Very expensive. Very toxic. Nobody in their right mind would buy the stuff without reason, would they? And you know the strangest thing we realized? We found two places.. just two… in all of Colorado Springs that get regular shipments of the stuff. The first is a medical school. The second… is you." John had backed up to the table.

I could hear the wood from the heavy piece of furniture slightly scraping against the floor. The other man must have been in the center of the room.

"Look," said the stranger, "you know why I'm here. Just tell us where it is and it'll make this whole thing much easier."

"You think you can just come in here, wave a gun around, and make demands?" John said, reaching behind himself to grab the oil lantern from the table. Before either of them spoke again, the front door opened once more. Someone else walked into the living room. This time, however, a woman's voice rang out.

"Stop fucking around and tell us where you're hiding!" My body froze. She was yelling far too loudly to be talking to the other stranger, or to John. She was talking to me. John turned and threw the oil lantern at the base of the stairs. The sound of shattering glass and a sudden orange light told me the stairs were now blocked off by a wall of flame.

"Tess!" John yelled from downstairs, "run! Get out of here!" I heard the sounds below me increase. John and the other man must have been fighting. The gun went off and I saw a bullet go straight up through the floor, only a few feet away from me. I sprang to my feet, running toward the closest window. The woman must have heard my footsteps.

"Upstairs!" She yelled. John and the other man were still fighting in the living room, but I heard someone reach the top of the steps. She must have run through the wall of flames. I could smell smoke coming into the room as I opened the window and jumped out. I landed on the snow-covered ground outside, hesitating for a moment. What should I do? Should I go back and help John? Distract both of the intruders? I heard John yell to me again from the living room, even as it was getting swallowed by the fire.

"Tess, go! Just go!" He yelled, as loud as he could manage. I hesitated for a moment longer. I wanted to help, but I knew the strangers were after me. I ran as fast as I could away from the house. The sound of my bedroom door getting kicked in shot through my ears. Risking a look over my shoulder, I spotted a silhouette of someone standing in front of the open window. They definitely saw me, but there was a scream from downstairs which quickly turned their attention back indoors.

I kept running until I reached the woods, about a hundred yards away from the house. By the time I turned around to look, half of the house was engulfed by flames. I could just barely make out the sound of all three of them yelling, followed by another gunshot. A moment later, I saw the two figures leave the house. The larger one–the man–was limping heavily, almost being dragged back to the car by the smaller woman. She was yelling something, but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

A few seconds later, they were in the car. They quickly drove away back to wherever they had come from. They were gone. The house was on fire. John was inside. I started sprinting back to the house as the flames grew higher and higher. As I approached the house, I felt the heat from the inferno. It felt like I was burning just by standing near the house. Still, I pushed through the pain, looking through the window. John was lying on the ground, pinned down by a wooden beam, but he was moving his arm.

"John!" I yelled out. The curtain in front of me burst into flame, startling me back. The flames, the burning, the screaming from all around me. I remembered the smoke filling the air, children screaming as the wall of smoke surrounded them, their screams stopping only moments later. Bodies. Endless bodies scattered across the ground as far as I could see. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, I wanted it all to be over, I just wanted it to stop. I blinked, remembering where I was. John was inside.

I needed to get him. I backed up, readying myself to jump through the window. Before I could, the ceiling suddenly collapsed down onto the living room, making another torrent of fire burst in every direction. I reeled back, arms shielding myself from the ashes and burning debris scattered through the window.

"John!" I screamed out to him… but no answer came. All I could do was back up, feeling my chest tighten. There was no way he could have survived. I watched the flames climb higher, knowing there was… nothing I could do. A memory suddenly came to me, one I hadn't remembered since I was young. Flames, crying, people screaming out in pain as walls of fire and smoke consumed them… alive. I fell back, overwhelmed by everything that was happening. I scooted backwards a bit, unsure what came over me.

Then I turned around, running–no particular direction in mind. I just had to run. I had to escape. I ran as fast as I could back to the only other place I knew: my treehouse. Scurrying up the ladder, I practically dove inside, letting the hatch fall shut behind me. I sat on the floor, rocking myself back and forth. Against my better judgment, I looked out the window. I could see the dim light of the fire even from here.

Somehow, I tore my gaze away from the awful vision, slowly laying down on the floor as I closed my eyes. I waited, waited, hoping to wake up… for this nightmare to end.