Chương 21: Atrophy is a Law of Nature

Thirty-five-year-old Elias sat in the driver's seat of his rusty old jeep. His old man was in the passenger seat, looking around at the city he'd been born and raised in as if it were some sort of alien landscape.

"Pop?"

"Yes?" Elias gripped the wheel tightly, unsure exactly how to begin. Knowing only that he had to try.

"Are you alright? Do you need anything? Just tell me what I can do." The old man waved his hand at his son, as if suggesting that the young man need not be so silly. But Elias couldn't help himself. The news that this Dr. Smith had just given them back in the hospital was life changing. Seeing those words in black and white, the MRI scans, combined with the searching fear in his father's eyes had made Elias realize that perhaps his life would never be the same again. It was a lot to take in.

"It is just a … pretty serious thing, Pops." Progressive Supranuclear Palsy. Or PSP for short. That was what Dr. Smith had said. Elias hated that. The way the experts liked to give cute little abbreviations to devastating conditions. As a man of science, Elias' father would have reminded him that it was simply done for efficiency in medical papers, where such long-winded names needed to be repeated umpteen times. Pops would have said that. He would have said a lot of things right now, in fact, if he was able to.

But not right now. Now his pops could only look around in childlike wonder. Instead, he could only sit there staring out of the window.

"Do you want to talk about what happened in the grocery store?" Elias asked, pulling out onto Canal Street and immediately getting stuck at a red light.

"Not really," his father replied.

"No feelings about scaring that guy half to death? Were there any children around when you told him you were going to shoot him if he didn't tell you where the enemy village was?"

"You've lived the life of a scholar, Elias. I wanted that for you. And I … well, a part of me has never left that jungle I suffered in as a young man. It was an inevitable quirk of memory. A senior moment." He spoke with a surprising clarity. Perhaps his spell was over for the time being. Then, he turned to his son.

"What is there to talk about, anyway?"

"Well, I'm worried about you. I don't know what is going to happen to you. To us, you know?"

"You want reassurance. But I'm the one who is sick."

"I … I guess I just want to discuss it. That's how we've always dealt with things, you and I. We are logical thinkers. Men of science. When we come up against a problem, we talk it out all rational like. And then, if we can, we solve it."

"I'm looking down at the board and I just don't see it. I just don't see any good move on the board," he said.

"I'm afraid I might have lost the ability to see it at all."

"Well, I'm thinking maybe we can fix this. Maybe I can fix it. Better than that doctor what's his name. I don't think that guy knows what he is talking about." Elias was already thinking twelve steps ahead. Thinking of obscure studies in some Japanese medical journal he would translate and read. Thinking of some inscrutable concoction he'd dig up at the Chinese Medicine shop in the Quarter that would slow his father's decay. Thinking of the second opinions and the dietary changes and the Sudoku puzzles.

There was always more room to experiment, to gather more data. To wrestle back control over all this. Through such methods, life was made far less frightening. Pops shook his head.

"Atrophy is a law of nature, my boy. You can't talk the world out of taking things from you. Everyone winds up in the same spot, eventually. Maybe there is some other place, after the light has faded, where such a thing might be possible. But not here. Not now." Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author. Elias nearly choked.

"Your mother knew that. When it was her time to go. I couldn't do anything to delay the inevitable, and she didn't want me to. She wanted me to accept the fact that I couldn't do anything for her. It only makes it worse to struggle. And you can't do anything to save me. It is easier if you just accept that, my boy." Elias felt a small tear forming in his eyes as the traffic began to move again. It lasted but a second before drying. For Elias, emotions flowed about as freely as this downtown traffic did.

That is to say he was almost never moved without a lot of honking and cursing involved.

"I fucked up," the old man said, looking at the Lucky Dog vendor who had already blocked their way.

"Back in the grocery store. I will apologize to that man. A Mr. Nguyen, was it?"

"I suppose there isn't much sense in dwelling on it," Elias said.

"And I heard he was fine, anyway. Shaken up but otherwise fine. He won't press any charges once I call him and explain." The old man raised an eyebrow, as if to suggest that this was all mildly amusing. He was quiet for a mile or two, as Elias made his way down St. Charles. The old man seemed to be deep in thought.

"Enjoy these moments, Elias. They are all we have for sure." Elias nodded. A sad tune came on the radio and he turned it off.

"I guess you are right."

"All we have is the present, my boy. That's the move. The best move on the board," the old man said.

"Embrace the now. The present is all we have," his father said. And then, as if he'd already forgotten, he said it once again.

"The present is all we have."

"The present is all we have! This moment is a gift! That's why they call it the present!" a gravelly, impish voice shouted. At first, Elias imagined it was his memories simply playing tricks on him. So deep had he sunk in meditative dreaming, that he wasn't sure what was real and what was imagined. Was he in the frightening death-jungle, or was he back on Canal Street with his declining father? He wondered. At least, until he felt the first painful rake of razor sharp claws against the meat of his shoulder.

That brought reality home with a jolt of intense pain.

"The present is a gift!" Shouted the affirmation imp. Elias opened his eyes to find, in horror, that he was surrounded by five of the devilish creatures. They were all screeching different platitudes at him, so close now that he could smell the earthy scent of their breaths, like potting soil with just a hint of sulfur.

"CHOOSE JOY!"

"TRUST THE PROCESS!"

"YOU CAN DO THIS!" And on and on they shouted. Each phrase so positive and empty. And as they shouted, they also attempted to murder him.

"GOOD VIBES ONLY!" shouted the biggest one. It hooked one of its claws in the flesh near Elias' stomach and dragged, leaving an inch deep gash in his belly that sang out with pain, doubling him over for a second as he fought to regain his breath. The buffs from Goggs were still in effect, perhaps the one thing keeping him alive. But he could feel them beginning to wane. He managed to get his staff out and whack one of the imps in the head.

But it merely stumbled backwards briefly before it struck back at him, delivering a devastating blow to the side of Elias' thigh. He was fairly stunned, his eyes going blurry. How foolish he'd been to drop his guard in this park, where he knew these vile and encouraging imps would be stalking the canopy. What had he been thinking? Out of the corner of his blurry and distorted vision, Elias saw a streak of white.

Claws continued to tear into him as he swung wildly with his staff, sometimes making contact, sometimes not. He wouldn't make it much longer, as the healer's buffs began to fade one by one. Just as he was about to die, the white streak materialized next to him. It was Merlyn, and he had one of the imps pinned against the ground while he tore its throat out. The creature moaned and hissed.

"Live, laugh, love!" it groaned as it died under Merlyn's vicious jaws. # You have gained experience! # The other imps seemed briefly stunned at this development, and each took a step back. This gave Elias just enough time to get his regeneration spell off. His vision immediately sharpened, and the floatiness in his head straightened out. The gash in his stomach healed and he was able to stand back up again. But the relief was short lived.

The imps had fully turned their attention towards Merlyn now, surrounding him. The wolf was doing his best to keep the creatures at bay, but they were four. Merlyn had a fearsome bite, but only one mouth. As he turned to face the most recent attacker, the others would bite and scratch at his flank. Without hesitation Elias cast a regeneration spell on his canine buddy and charged into the fray. But it was little use. His staff didn't do a whole lot to the stony hides of the gargoyle-like creatures.

He was quickly knocked to the ground. With Elias thrown back, one of the bigger imps was free to flank completely behind the wolf. Elias watched in horror as it took a bite out of Merlyn's backside. The wolf's hind legs folded, and he too went to the ground with a yelp.

"Merlyn good boy! Merlyn try!" the wolf shouted, as the imps swarmed on top of him, shouting their affirmative nonsense as they went about the work of dismembering a man's best friend.