Chương 4: The Ghosts Of July (07/07/1979)

DATE: Saturday, July 7, 1979 LOCATION: Fallbrook, California | The Tillman Residence LOCAL TIME: 05: 00 PM The backyard smelled of charcoal fluid, freshly cut St. Augustine grass, and the distinct, acrid perfume of Merit 100s. In 2025, a party like this would be a compliance violation. Too much smoke, too much gluten, too much sun damage. But in 1979, it was just a Saturday. I stood by the sliding glass door, clutching a lukewarm juice box. The dead were coming back to life.

To my parents, this was just family arriving for burgers and cake. To me, it was a séance.

"Here he is! The birthday boy!" The voice boomed from the side gate, and my heart hammered against my small ribs. I hadn't heard that voice in thirty years. Didi Tillman walked in. My grandmother, whom we called Nana. Behind her was the mountain: my grandfather, Harold "Papa" Tillman. Tanned and wearing a short-sleeved button-down, he carried a cooler in one hand like it was a lunchbox. Didi was a force of nature in polyester. Her hair was done up in a stiff, hair-sprayed helmet that could withstand a hurricane.

She carried a foil-covered Pyrex dish—probably her ambrosia salad, a weaponized mixture of marshmallows and fruit cocktail.

"Where are my grandbabies?" she trilled. A physical ache seized my chest. I missed her fierce, terrifying love. I walked out onto the patio.

"There's Chad!" Didi handed the salad to my dad and scooped me up. The scent of her—White Shoulders perfume and Aqua Net—hit me like a physical blow. It was the smell of safety. It was the smell of a time before the world got complicated.

"Look at you," she said, pinching my cheek with lethal precision.

"You're getting so big." I'm as old as you, Nana, I thought.

"Hi, Nana," I said, burying my face in her neck. I held on a second too long, desperate to memorize the texture of her blouse.

"Okay, okay, don't suffocate the boy, Didi," Harold grumbled, though his eyes crinkled with a smile. He ruffled my hair, his hand rough like sandpaper.

"How you doing, sport?"

"Good, Papa."

"Good man." The gate opened again. If seeing my grandparents was a shock, what happened next was a miracle. Two figures stepped into the yard: Henry Rubidoux and Anita Romo. Grandpa Great and Grandma Great. They had died when I was in high school. My memories of them were like a series of unconnected scenes in a movie. But here they were, in high definition. Grandpa Great wore a grey fedora with a red feather, looking like he had just walked off a 1940s construction site.

Grandma Great was small, round, and dressed in black, clutching a rosary in one hand and a cane in the other. In the amber light of the '70s, time hadn't touched them yet. I walked over to them. It was the Tillman law: you greet everyone when they arrive, and you hug everyone when they leave. Grandpa Great smiled down at me.

"And what is your name, old man?" his gravelly voice rasped.

"My name is Joe Brown. You ask me again and I'll knock you down," I said, deepening my toddler pitch into a mimicry of a man. I was the oldest grandchild and great-grandchild. It was our code.

"…and what is your name, young man?" Without missing a beat, Grandpa Great answered, "My name is Pooten-Tame. You ask me again and I'll tell you the same." Henry nodded, beaming.

"I didn't think he would remember."

"He's a smart one," Anita said, her paper-thin hand touching my arm. Her skin was freezing.

"God bless him."

"Alright, alright, make way for the fun people!" The peace shattered with a loud, boisterous laugh. Uncle Jack and Aunt Betty. Betty was Didi's sister, the wild one with red hair and a laugh that shook her whole body. And Uncle Jack... he was a car salesman who exhibited everything our family associated with being a man—both good and bad. In 1979, I was still his favorite.

"Happy Birthday, Doug!" Jack shouted, slapping my father on the back hard enough to dislodge a vertebra.

"You look tired, old man. Thirty is the new fifty!"

"Thanks, Jack," Doug said, forcing a smile. He didn't look tired anymore; he looked determined. Betty beelined for the kids. She grabbed Chase, who was toddling across the grass, and swung him around.

"Look at these monkeys! Chad! Come give Aunty Betty a squeeze!" I walked over, and she engulfed me in a cloud of peppermint gum and Virginia Slims.

"You look serious today, kiddo," Jack said, looming over me. He grinned, a cigarette dangling from his lip.

"What's on your mind? Stock market crashing?" I froze. If only you knew, Jack.

"Just thinking," I said.

"Thinking's dangerous," Jack winked, blowing smoke away from my face.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Actually," Doug interrupted from the grill. His voice was casual, but a new steeliness anchored it.

"Chad's got a hell of an imagination, Jack. We're... we're working on a story together." A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation. Jack raised an eyebrow, popping the tab on a Schlitz.

"A story? What, like a coloring book?"

"A movie," Doug said, flipping a burger. Grease flared up, illuminating his face.

"We're gonna go Hollywood, Jack. You watch." Jack laughed—a rasping, joyful sound.

"Hollywood! Did you hear that, Betty? Doug's going to be the next Spielberg!"

"Hey, if it pays better than loans," Betty laughed. The gate opened one last time. The laughter on the patio dipped slightly. Uncle Bruce walked in. He looked like a ghost. Thinner than I remembered, his eyes were dark and hollow. He held a six-pack of beer like a shield. Aunt Penny wasn't with him. Instead, his daughter Jenny peeked out from behind his legs, spotted Papa, and ran into his open arms.

"Hey, Bruce," Doug said softly, abandoning the grill to walk over. He put a hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"Glad you made it."

"Happy birthday, Doug," Bruce mumbled. He looked at the happy chaos of the party—the couples, the kids—and pain flashed across his face. He was drowning on dry land. I stared at him. Allen Bauer. The man who needed to go to the water. Retreating to the edge of the patio, I watched them all. My dad at the grill, Jack critiquing his technique. Nana and Grandma Great setting up the picnic table. Grandpa Great smoking an unfiltered Camel in a lawn chair. Bruce sitting alone on the cooler, staring at his beer label.

The grief hit me then, sharp and sudden. It wasn't the grief of loss; it was the grief of anticipation. I was a time traveler, but I wasn't a god. I could fix the finances. I could fix the software. But I couldn't fix mortality. I looked at my dad. He was laughing at something Jack said, but his eyes kept darting back to his briefcase by the door. The briefcase holding the cure for Bruce's sadness and the family's bank account. I can't save them from death, I realized. But I can save them from the struggle.

I could make sure Harold didn't die worrying about money. I could make sure Didi had the best care. I could make sure Doug didn't spend the next twenty years stressed out of his mind, missing these moments to chase a paycheck that never came. I touched the pocket of my shorts. The folded "Sad Man" drawing crinkled against my leg. It was my weapon against the entropy coming for this backyard. LOCAL TIME: 07: 45 PM The sun dipped below the Fallbrook hills, turning the sky a bruised purple.

The day's heat finally broke, replaced by a cool breeze that rustled the eucalyptus trees and the yellow flicker of citronella candles. The party had thinned. The women were inside wrapping leftovers; the kids were asleep or watching TV. Only the men remained on the patio. I lay curled against my father's chest, my head resting on his sternum. To the world, I was a toddler fighting a losing battle against a nap. In reality, I was a surveillance device. My ear pressed against his ribcage.

The steady thump-thump of his heart echoed against the gurgle of his stomach. He smelled of Old Spice and the faint yeasty scent of Coors.

"So," Jack said, his voice carrying over the patio.

"Thirty years old, Doug. Big milestone. You gonna keep peddling those municipal bonds forever?" Dad's chest tightened beneath my ear. A physical flinch.

"It pays the bills, Uncle Jack," Doug said softly, shifting so he didn't disturb me.

"Sue and the kids need stability."

"Stability is for horses," Jack scoffed, though not unkindly.

"You want stability, go live in a barn. You're a writer, Doug. Always have been. I remember those poems you wrote for Didi's anniversary. Made the old bird cry." Doug sighed, the vibration rumbling through my cheek.

"Poetry doesn't pay the mortgage."

"Doesn't have to be poetry," Jack said. Ice clinked in his glass.

"Bruce tells me you've been scribbling something new. A movie?" Dad shot a look at Bruce, who still sat on the cooler, peeling the label off his beer.

"I just mentioned it when we were grabbing ice," Bruce shrugged.

"I told him about the fish-lady, Doug. It's a funny idea."

"It's not just a funny idea," my dad said defensively. His heart rate picked up slightly—a subtle acceleration tapping against my cheek.

"It's a romance. It's about a mermaid who comes to New York City. She learns English from watching TV. It's… well, it's about how love is the only thing that makes sense in a crazy world." Jack raised an eyebrow.

"I thought Bruce said you were working on a cop movie? Something dark?"

"I tried," Doug admitted.

"I tried to write that cop story the kid was babbling about earlier. But the mermaid? The mermaid just flows. It feels... hopeful." Bruce stopped picking at his beer. He looked up, his eyes glassy.

"A guy just swims away," Bruce murmured.

"Leaves the job. Leaves the city. Just... goes."

"Yeah," Doug said gently.

"He goes."

"I like that," Bruce whispered. I kept my breathing heavy and rhythmic. Good choice, Dad. You're not selling a script. You're selling an escape. Jack didn't laugh. He didn't make a joke.

"A mermaid in New York," Jack mused.

"Fish out of water. Literally."

"Yeah," Doug said.

"I call it Splash."

"Splash," Jack repeated. He rolled the word around in his mouth like a sip of expensive scotch.

"Short. Punchy. I like it."

"It's just an outline," Doug retreated into his shell.

"I'm just messing around."

"Messing around?" Jack shook his head.

"Doug, let me ask you something. Who have you shown it to?"

"No one. Just Sue."

"So it's sitting in a drawer?"

"Well, yeah. I don't know anyone in Hollywood, Jack. I sell bonds in San Diego." Jack stood up. His Zippo lighter snapped open and shut—clink, clack—a nervous tic of pure energy. He walked to the cooler, grabbed a fresh beer, and popped the tab.

"You don't know anyone," Jack said.

"But I do." Dad shifted in the chair.

"What?"

"I sell Cadillacs, Doug," Jack said.

"Do you know who buys Cadillacs? Doctors. Lawyers. And producers. I got a client, nice guy, bought a Fleetwood Brougham last month. Paid in cash. He's an associate producer up in Burbank. Works for the Mouse, I think. Or maybe United Artists. I forget. But he's in the business."

"Jack, I can't ask you to—""You're not asking," Jack interrupted.

"I'm offering. You're my nephew, Doug. You got a brain like a diamond, and I hate seeing you waste it on tax-free yields." Jack took a drag of his cigarette. The smoke drifted over us, acrid and sweet.

"You write the script," Jack said firmly.

"You finish it. Type it up nice. Put it in a folder."

"And then?"

"And then you give it to me," Jack said.

"I'll drive it up to Burbank. I'll drop it on the front seat of a brand new Eldorado and I'll tell my guy, 'Read this, or the undercoating costs double.'" Bruce chuckled, a dry, rusty sound.

"You'd actually do that?"

"Damn right I would," Jack grinned.

"I'm the best salesman on the West Coast. You give me a product, Doug, and I'll move the metal. You just have to build the car." My dad fell silent. His heart hammered now—not from stress, but from adrenaline. Jack wasn't trying to make a buck off him. He wasn't trying to hustle him. He just wanted to see him win.

"You really think it's a good idea?" Doug asked finally.

"The mermaid?"

"I think it's a hit," Jack said.

"It's got heart. And if you write it, I know it'll be good." Jack raised his glass.

"To Splash." Dad shifted me slightly, lifting his beer with his free hand.

"To Splash." They clinked glasses. The sound rang out like a bell. Jack looked down at me.

"Is the little guy out?" Doug checked my face. I kept my eyes closed, letting out a small, contented sigh, and snuggled deeper into his shoulder.

"He's fighting it," Doug whispered, stroking my back.

"But he's almost gone."

"Well, don't wake him," Jack said softly.

"But he's good luck, Doug. He's sitting right there while we make the deal." Doug patted my back.

"You hear that, Chaddy? You think Daddy should write the movie?" It was a rhetorical question asked to a sleeping child. But I knew he needed one last push. Validation from the "imagination" that sparked it. I opened my eyes—just a slit. I looked right at him, sleepy and serious.

"Movie," I murmured. Then I closed my eyes and let my head drop back against his chest. Jack roared with laughter, quickly stifling it with his hand.

"That's it! The boss has spoken! Get typing, Doug." Dad's chest heaved with a silent chuckle. He kissed the top of my head. There was no manipulation needed here. No psychological tricks. Just a family betting on each other. The script was in motion. And now that Jack was involved, I knew exactly how to leverage his access for the other project. But for tonight, I just let myself drift.