Chương 532: Day Five Hundred And Thirty

Dear Diary,"If you want to follow me, Be the best you you can be, And help others do the same." Doctrine of Tabitha, Book of Closure Yeah, I kinda wanna wrap this up by Yule, and while there's a lot of shit I want to include, I already think I'm running the risk of information overload, or tryna micromanage people's lives, or some other screwup that I haven't figured out yet, but have almost certainly already done. I mean, I guess the one inevitable thing that I've screwed up is writing rules that suck.

Like, I'm sure some of the Verses I've got so far are absolute trash. Thing is, I kinda suck when it comes to this, so while I'll definitely go over them all again, I have little to no idea how to know which ones are absolute trash, which ones are gems in the rough, and which ones are perfect just as they are.

I guess I could just keep writing rules, but something I remember from my previous life is that when people who suck at making Good Rules decide to make up for it by making More Rules, this does not improve matters. Bad Rules... might not be worse than No Rules, but they sure as shit do not get better just because there's more of them. I know the actual solution would be to write Good Rules, but then, I'm the one writing them, and we've already discussed why that's not gonna work.

I guess I could get Saffron and my ever increasing stable of Clergy to look them over. How the hell did I wind up with this many High Priestesses? Like, seriously, I get why I did each of them. Shit. NO. I haven't done.... all... oh, fuck. No, seriously, I have not yet even considered having sex with Ria's mother, because that would just be weird. Because I'm her mom too. As is Saffron now. And Marie. Siobhan is really more of an aunt, although if she wanted mom status it's kinda an open door.

Wait, fuck, why would it be weird? Okay, there's the fact that she's got four kids, and seems like she's straight. Then again, I thought that about Saffron at one point. Fuck, I don't know why it would be weird. Wait! Yes, I do! I would be weird because she's definitely still fully in the 'My Goddess is all powerful and all knowing and I should kowtow to her and obey her every command, even the ones she doesn't say out loud' mode I seem to see from the Clergy of the worse class of Deity here and now.

Shit, I gotta get Karen on her about that. Fuck, I'd intended for the Trials to be a thing, but now I've made another High Priestess... Maybe I can just say she's a High Priestess of Mimic until she passes her Trials? Yeah, that sounds good. Wow. Holy shit. I think some of the time spent without the memories of all the bad shit that's happened to me here may have been good for me. I mean, don't get me wrong. On balance, here and now has way more good shit than bad shit.

If you told me I could press a button and make that dude miss my forehead, putting me back in my old world with none of the bullshit about getting scarred over ninety percent of my body, falling to my death, having incarnate gods trying to kill me, having not one but two daughters killed right in front of me, and all the other traumatic shit what's gone down, I would destroy that button and its creator just to make sure they didn't make another one. No. No, I wouldn't. I mean, button, yeah, gone, no deal.

Creator, on the other hand, I'd carefully explain why that's not something I even want as a possibility, because I don't want to accidentally push that shit or something like that. If they tried any blackmail bullshit at that point, then I would break the shit out of them. Be all 'it's the Maw for you, dipshit'.

Because I want to be the kind of person people can come to when they're proud of something, and if they come to me and say 'hey, I've made this thing that you find horrifying and awful', I don't want to lie to them, but I also don't want them to be scared to bring me the next thing they make, because for all I fuckin' know, it's gonna be the Orgasmatron, only with space for me and all my willing ladies. Which I'm still not certain if that includes Tallulah on even a temporary basis.

So with the idea of straightening that shit out, once I finished my Yule shopping, while I debated on where to put the last few bits, I thought, hey Karen, can you do me a solid? Of course, my Goddess. Oh, fuck, not you too. Tabitha, except when it's formal. Or some other Title that doesn't make me think you're gonna turn your brain off and put me in charge or something. That got a laugh out of her. As you wish, Tabitha. What did you need? I've decided.

As of right now, Tallulah is officially a High Priestess of Mimic. But before she gets to be a High Priestess of Tabitha Diaz, Trials. That... seems backwards, but... no, I understand I am your publicly acknowledged Highest Priestess; Priestesses of Tabitha Diaz will be directly associated with you. There you go. Can you take care of that? May I... Go on. Ask. Unless it's something I've already told you is anathema, you're safe. Even then, I trust you wouldn't bring that shit up without good reason.

She sighed, obviously in relief. Weird sound to have in my brain. May I borrow your Concubines? Given how I'd just been pondering how Tallulah was gonna fit into our little whatever it was, I kinda choked on my own spit at that. Then I realized she just wanted them to perform their Trials, with, I guess, Karen standing in for my Kitten, and relaxed. Then I remembered Marie's Trial, and that launched the premier of Spit Choke Two: Choke Harder.

It wasn't until I felt some worry coming from Karen that my brain started functioning like something better than a lump of soggy bacon. Sorry, didn't mean to worry you. Not you, it's me. But yeah, sure, go ahead. Already gave you permission to correct any insufficiency of wooing either of them might have, don't see why you can't ask them to do their Trial thing. Then I thought of one more thing.

Oh, go over the Trials with Tallulah before they start, and if she isn't down for going through with them, let her know it's fine, she can stay on as a High Priestess of Mimic. Only difference is the dress, really. This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon. She made a pondery noise in my brain, then asked, may I wear the Holy Garb of Mimic? I paused, looked around the field of tentacles, and thought, You. Here. Now. She arrived before I had time to blink.

"Goddess? Have I angered you?" I popped Glowing Midnight on her, displacing the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown to wherever stuff went when I insta-garbed someone.

"Nah. Just wasn't about to pass up a chance to see you in that." Then I thought for a second, and in the spirit of Being a Better Goddess.

"Sorry for worrying you, Karen." She raised one eyebrow, which was amusing as hell since with the extra inches from Glowing Midnight's platforms, she was kinda looking down her nose at me.

"If I couldn't handle being scared by my Goddess on occasion, I've chosen particularly poorly." I leaned back where I'd been resting my ass on a tentacle recliner, chuckling a little.

"Well, that's all I wanted. Unless you wanted to strut around posing in it while I watch. It's a nice dress." I paused a moment thinking as she took a few steps, getting used to the platforms, I think.

"Honestly the Yandere Shobitch Wedding Gown suits you better though." She raised an eyebrow. Then turned most of the way away from me, looked down, and reached down to brush something off the toe of her boot. Lint, maybe. Or dust. Possibly an entire live weasel. No idea. duBois honed body for the win. Also, she did look better, even from that angle, in the YSWG. Proof positive was the additional neuron activation when she switched back to that. Then she stood up and laughed at me.

"I'm sorry, Goddess. But the... The look on your face is as precious as Marie and Siobhan said."

"Ah, shit. Are we gonna have to free up closet space for another Concubine now?" She shook her head.

"I'm flattered, but no, still not up for more than an occasional, ah, ladies night. And probably less often on that should I find a partner of my own." I shrugged.

"No worries. Okay, I was a little worried, because I never wanted one Concubine, and now I've wound up with two. For the moment."

"For the moment?"

"Still working on wifing the first one. Not giving that idea up unless Mittens herself says to stop." She nodded.

"By your leave?" I waved.

"Go on. Didn't mean to keep you. Oh! You wanna stop by the Homestead on Yule?"

"I'm to be leading services at the Temple that evening." I nodded.

"No worries. Just needed to know where to have your present delivered to." She blushed a little.

"Present? But... I... I'm sorry, Goddess. I didn't get you anything!'" I snorted.

"Karen, you work for me. You do all kinds of shit that I'd hate doing, which means I don't have to. That is more than enough present for me." She nodded.

"Thank you, Goddess. Will you put in an appearance tomorrow?"

"You want me to?"

"It would be nice." I nodded.

"I'll be there. Won't be for long, I've got family stuff. But I'll be there. Gotta deliver those gifts, after all." She shot me a quizzical look, then stepped away to do High Priestess things. Or, y'know, go back to bed. It was kinda late at night. Late at night or not, I stepped down to the Questing Tentacle, checked in on something, then hopped back home. Dreamt of the full suite of Clergy doing that 'choreography practice' again. Only this time with Tallulah dropping another cake bomb.

Woke up and lay there, waiting, until Saffron woke up. I'd worried a little bit about the big room with the stone walls being cold, but along with toddler safe carpeting on the floor warming that a lot, the curtain around the bed kept the body heat in. Warm good. I'd almost fallen back to sleep when Saffron woke up, and I almost forgot what I wanted to talk to her about.

"Kitten?" I whispered.

"Yes, love?"

"Uh... Tallulah." She smiled at me.

"Reconsidering who will administer her Trials already?"

"Huh? Oh, no, nothing like that. But," I paused, still a little weirded out talking about my ladies and their dream activities feeding the Maw.

"At night?" Saffron nodded.

"Yeah, she's, uh... Does she really want to be there?" Saffron frowned.

"Does her Worship displease you?" I shook my head, then tilted it.

"I mean, angel food cake isn't exactly my favorite. Too chewy, I think. But it's kinda, I dunno. A reflection of her? It's like she doesn't want to be there. And I don't want to force that. Like, if she wants to be there, and she just doesn't know what to do, so she's following everybody else's lead, and she doesn't know shit about, y'know, dream... prayer... worship... cooking. Look, I just want her to know it's not mandatory."

"Not mandatory." She looked at me, and I shrugged.

"For your High Priestesses to Worship you." I thought about that for a second, then nodded.

"Don't get me wrong. It's awesomesauce. Love me some Worship. Can't tell if it's better when it's you three doing it sans clothes or space in between our good bits, or if I'm just biased. But I wouldn't force anybody to Worship me, even a High Priestess, any more than I'd force them to, y'know, fuck me." She snorted.

"Force them to." She shook her head.

"Even now, after all that's happened, you still think we have to force ourselves?"

"Maybe?" She laughed and shook her head.

"I'll speak with her."

"Thanks, Kitten."

"You, my love, are always welcome, to all I have and am." Some necking may have occurred while we waited for everybody to wake up. It took a while. Warm good. I think Saffron and I might have been half asleep for half of it, and it was awesome anyway. Today Saffron wound up having Marie take all the Grand Councilmembers home for Yule, then led Marie and Siobhan in bringing our herds home. Yes, 'herds'. As in multiples. With a couple extra of each, since we're gonna be doing some feasting.

Thankfully, nobody needed or wanted me to do butchering. Instead, while my lovely ladies got their Livestock Lesbian on, I returned to my core competency of being a Lumberjack Lesbian. Literally. They sent me to find a big old pine tree, which I Mineral Bonded in place right in the middle of the Courtyard, and a 'deadfall oak' big enough for everybody to get their Yule Log out of. Because apparently that's part of the whole thing, which I didn't really get the importance of last time.

Took me a bit of doing to find it, and after confirming that I wouldn't screw anything up by doing so, I hacked it to bits with Mana Blades and carted it back in just bigger than me-sized chunks. Oddest thing; I hadn't had to do that with the Pine tree, because it was, in fact, still alive, and had an Aura; at least enough of one to Translocate it along with me without hurting myself.

Sang what I remembered of the Lumberjack song all day as I worked, which really didn't hit the same until I put my copy of Glowing Midnight, sans dress, on under my uniform. Pride of place for 'weirdest bit of info' today though, still goes to the Livestock. Because at a certain Menace's insistence, backed by all of her sisters? We now have a full herd of goats. I'm still pretty sure she ate one.