Chương 349: Day Three Hundred And Forty-Seven

Dear Diary, I know that all this self-examination was probably supposed to bring me to some big realization about me and my place in my new world, or maybe about who and what I want to be, but at the end of the day my biggest takeaway is, I think, that at some point I really need to make it to the end of one of the big yearly celebrations without demolishing myself.

Then again, I guess I kinda came out of the Autumn Equinox okay; just some cuts on the backs of my hands, which explain where those eight ragged scars come from. Hell, I even got a wife and kid from that one, so I would count that one as a win. Except for the fact that kid died, and if I hadn't taken the precaution of Mimicking Sister Siobhan's Revive Skill before I went on my rescue mission, she would have stayed that way.

Just in case there's any question, while I managed to stomach pump defeat until victory popped out that time, any time a little kid dies is always gonna count as a fail in my book. Some quiet part of me that Mimic would scoff at if she had enough independent volition to scoff wonders what Isnomi would be like now if I hadn't gotten there too late.

Winter Solstice proper wasn't bad, what with celebrating Yule with my new extended family, but I went into it more than a little shredded, and I'm talking like the beef in high end tacos, not like the general condition of my new body after nearly a year of constant working out and pushing myself to ever higher levels of physical fitness. I think the entire 'hold breath in space' kinda emphasizes exactly how shredded I'm talking now.

Of course, now when I think shredded I'm thinking what the Hole Spawn Crabs try to do to me more than what the New Amsterdam Army did while I killed them all. I think I slept for what, a day or so after that, and wound up convalescing for like a month. Yeah, that was after Curing everybody in fuckin' Phileo, but still. Spring Equinox I don't even really remember properly. I mean, I do, sort of. I got really pissed at Apollo about the Plague mutating, so I snagged him and handed him over to Conrad.

I tried to Mimic Mimic's Size, and got big enough to be seen from space without actually getting anywhere near Mimic's full size. Then I spotted Sengann, who decided the Plague was like an endless Golden Corral buffet, only with less diseases floating around, which made me feel some kinda way, so I killed him.

I then sucked up enough Mana to overflow even an ass that could, as noted, be seen from space without advanced spy satellites, followed by Curing all of New Amsterdam and Newark, then falling to my doom a mile or so out into the Bay. If Saffron hadn't found me and somehow convinced the Kraken to let her take me home, I'd probably be sleeping with the cephalopods now.

Probably gotta be a name for that kink, because I sure as shit can't be the first one to think about tentacle monsters in a 'they can go how deep in how many holes at once?' kinda way. All of that left me feeling more than a little nervous about the upcoming battle, no matter how many secret weapons I'd stockpiled over the past few months. Stories. Songs. Spontaneous Creation. Sucking Mana directly from Mimic's enormous tentacle teats. Stupidly high stats and stolen Skills.

Yet with all that, I've still got a bad feeling about this. Probably because I'm all loaded for bear when it comes to fucking up bad guys, but my most recent near-termination was entirely at my own hands, and I've yet to find a defense that's effective in the slightest against my own dumbassness. Yesterday's double date was nice, and I'm not 'damning with faint praise' or any shit like that.

This was the kind of 'nice' where if someone had deliberately interrupted us, I might have decided right then and there to yeet them into the upper Bay on a one way 'scouting' mission. Saffron and Marie and I walked down the riverside, gradually making our way to where the Schuylkill and the Delaware met, then walking back up to the Big Seven. We talked about nothing much; the birds, the fish, what the clouds looked like and the names of the wildflowers, which it turned out none of us actually knew.

I mean, dandelions, yeah. I knew dandelions. For what it's worth, we definitely did our part to enhance the dandelion population. There's just something about launching all those little floating seeds across a huge greenish lawn. It also turned out that Marie knows how to weave flower crowns, and all three of us had two stacked on our heads by the time we got to the Big Seven. The way she blushed when I lifted Saffron so she could put the one she made onto Marie was adorable.

I think I might have blushed a little my own self when Marie lifted me so I could settle mine onto her head around the one Saffron had put there. The three of us with Isnomi worked our way around the other way. Much like the Autumn Equinox, the City had decked itself out for a big celebration. The wrestlers returned, and Menace threw a goddamned fit until we let her jump in the ring at the end.

I gotta say the Luchador not only played nice with the tiny little girl who insisted on getting in the ring with him, he took it with good grace when she managed to actually break line of sight by darting behind him, then scrambled right up his back and stole his belt. The rest of the match consisted of him chasing her around the ring while she scampered about on all fours, the belt dangling from her mouth.

I overpaid for a jar of 'champion wrestler sweat' at least a little bit to make up for the fact that he did, in fact, lose his belt to us again. Of course with all of us dressed in civvies, Saffron and I looked like a pair of rich kids out for a lark, and Marie really scanned as a nanny out watching a rambunctious kid. The pickpockets and con men swarmed around us like bees in a flower shop. A dark part of me thought about getting all violent with them, but for once it didn't manage to get much traction.

I mean, I didn't just let them steal our shit or cop feels or anything. But I will note that we bought food at every goddamned roach coach, food stand, and even the open air restaurants that had set up for the holiday, and not once did I have to go looking for my coin purse. I'm a Trickster God and the High Priestess of a Trickster God; get pwned, noobs. We met up with our other group right around sunset at the Temple of Wisdom.

I tossed becrowned self my jar of wrestler sweat, and Marie tossed a gleefully shrieking Menace to her flower crowned self. Saffron charged across the gap and took the opportunity to leap into both of our arms and smooch us while dangling from our necks. Before Marie and I collapsed back into ourselves, we took a minute to do the same.

Bonfires seemed to be the order of the day; a few outside each Temple surrounded by folks dancing in wide circles, and when we went inside they had another set up about a third of the way from the entrance to the altar. The altar itself, of course, had a whole assed feast set up. The first of what Marie identified as summer sausage, piles of spring and early summer vegetables, and fish, fish, fish. Fried, broiled, minced, shaped, and deep fried, and even a few big sushi platters.

That drew my ravenous ass like a neodymium magnet, but Saffron's grip on my hand drew me up short.

"What's up, Kitten?" She smiled up at me.

"Be a Good Girl and sample, rather than devouring, love." That kinda put paid to me eating more than one of anything, but before she released me, she turned to the bonfire, where Saffron Rae and Raymond stood talking to some other folks. When they noticed us looking at them, they walked our way. Saffron Rae led as usual, asking Saffron, "so, will the two of you be daring the flames?" Saffron very pointedly reached around and pulled Marie up behind us.

"The three of us will, yes." If either of them felt some kind of way about us being three instead of two, they very wisely shut the fuck up about it. Then again, Raymond had that three or more thing going on, and Saffron Rae seemed okay with it herself, so maybe it was just a thing that happened here and now. Fuck it, not gonna borrow trouble, I've got plenty on my plate as is.

"Flames?" I murmured into Saffron's hair. Before replying, Saffron turned to look at Marie, held her hands out for Isnomi, and said, "Marie? Could you perhaps stoke the fire a bit?" When Marie smiled the toothiest of grins and Translocated away, Saffron thought, a Summer Solstice tradition for lovers. The hotter the flames they pass over and through, the stronger their love, the longer it will last.

"Oh." I chuckled, low and throaty.

"We gonna do some jumping, huh?"

"I thought each of us could go with Marie first. Don't you think?"

"I like how you think." I smiled down at her, then whispered into her ear, "I set our son to working on certain articles of jewelry for our Maenad." Saffron, Isnomi on one hip, reached one hand around the back of my neck and pulled me down into a kiss. When our lips separated, she breathed words into my mouth.

"Such a Good Girl." I think right about then I could have just walked over the flames, no jumping required. Marie returned just as Saffron pulled away, four of her flicking armloads of wood into the bonfire one split log at a time. By the time she finished, the flames roared halfway to the roof, and the crowd had to back away a little bit.

"Thank you for the addition to our bonfire, High Priestess. Mimic does not do things by halves, it seems. The three of you will make your leap later then?" Saffron shook her head, "sadly, Tabitha must return to the Calverton Expedition before the night is through." She handed Isnomi to me, thinking, watch us, then reached a hand up to Marie.

"Shall we?' Marie's eyes said, 'oh shit', but her whole body radiated, 'yes!' The two of them raced hand in hand to a spot near the feast table while Saffron Rae called out, "clear a path for our first lovers of the night!" The two of them ran for the flames hand in hand, Saffron sprinting for all she was worth, Marie loping along next to her. A dozen feet from the edge of the fire, Marie's legs bunched, and Saffron gripped her hand.

I won't say Saffron didn't jump, but frankly it didn't really matter how much she did. Marie launched herself up in an arc that took the two of them right over the bonfire, the tips of the flames licking at their shoes as they passed. The two of them landed on the far side, Marie scooping Saffron up in a kiss while dashing back toward us as the crowd cheered.

If some of the cheers were outright pornographic suggestions, I figured nobody seemed shocked, and it's not like anybody suggested anything we hadn't already done. They might be crude, but they meant well, which pretty much described me to a T, so fuck it. From what I remembered, Hestia was a Fertility Goddess, after all, so for all I knew they were literally praying for our, uh, 'good fortune'. Hell, literally saying they wanted my Kitten and Murder Mittens to get lucky.

Then the two of them returned to me, and Saffron stole Menace away, placing Marie's hand in mine. I'm not sure if she was blushing or flushed, but every exposed bit of her positively glowed pink. She dragged me back to the starting point, which is when I realized that the fire had, if anything, gotten higher and hotter. Made sense, what with the new wood taking a bit to catch and all.

"You ready, Murder Mittens?"

"Yes!" She took off toward the fire, and I sprinted right alongside her. I'm not sure exactly how much was my stolen stats, how much was her tugging my hand, and how much was every feel good chemical in the world blasting into me, but I kept up, and when we hit the point she'd bunched her legs, I leapt right alongside her. Midway up, with the flames licking at us, I spun around the front of her, kissing her as we spun and flew.

Her eyes shot wide, but she returned the kiss without a thought for our landing, and if we stumbled and tumbled and wound up going ass over teakettle before Marie rolled back to her feet, our lip lock never broke. If anything the crowd went even wilder. Marie had one hand cupping my ass and one on the back of my head, keeping the kiss going all the way back to Saffron, where she collected Isnomi and placed my hand in Saffron's. Follow my lead, love.

She skipped to the starting point like a little girl, and for once I felt no need to disabuse anybody of the thought that she might be just that for a moment. A moment later rough silk coated her hands, and I blinked The Dress onto me to match her Glowing Midnight. She turned to face the fire, then, glancing to the side to look at me, said, "with you by my side, I fear nothing, my love." Then she skipped forward. Not sprinting. Not running. Not even jogging. Skipping.

Right before we hit the edges of the fire, she spun into my arms and said, "dance with me." She led me up the side of the pyre, skipping from log to log, the flames licking around us, the heat washing over us and around us and through us.

"How?"

"Loki is a God of Fire, my love." And thanks to the cowardice common to the house of Zeus, Mimic is a Goddess of the fucking Sun. We danced straight up one side of the bonfire and down the other, our boots gripping the logs even as they slipped out from under us, hundreds of hours of duBois' insane tier training at balance and positioning and even straight up dancing carrying us through. When we stepped out the far side of the fire, the crowd just looked on in awe.

Saffron Rae stood well beyond the fire, arms folded, shaking her head.

"That's cheating, you know." Saffron giggled. Then, in a voice that carried over the crowd's chuckles at Saffron Rae's pronouncement, said, "Tricksters. Duh." The two of us skipped back to Marie.

"Hey, why isn't Marie in Dionysus Priestess clothing?" Saffron looked up at me.

"Beside the fact that skyclad has become less popular, she is not, in fact, a Priestess of Dionysus. His Champion, yes, but not his Priestess. Although, now that you mention it..."

A moment later Marie stood there in a dress twin to Glowing Midnight, positively towering over the crowd, because where the original boots added six inches to Saffron, putting her around five three, scaled up to Marie size they added damn near a foot to her height, which left me staring at where her belly would be if it weren't covered by her dress. I wanted, desired, needed, literally lusted to see that belly uncovered. Boss? Could you and Sigyn maybe take the Menace home to the cave for a sleepover?

After a delay that seemed long after so many instant replies, Sigyn's voice surprised me.

"If you don't mind, we'd rather watch her here?"

"Siggy!" Isnomi leapt from Marie's arms to Sigyn's; without letting go of Loki's hand she managed to field the flying Menace Thanks, Boss. It's nothing, Daughter. Yeah, not saying you gotta, because right now I'm not caring, but you might want to ignore me tonight. Whyever would I do that? The phrase 'oh god' might wind up coming into play at moments you really might not want to watch. He laughed out loud at that.

"Go. Have fun, you three." Thanks Boss. You're the best. I know.

"So, you don't want to stay for the feast?" asked Saffron. My hand still in hers, I reached out, lay a hand on Marie's belly, and a moment later we stood in our bedroom.

"Not what I'm hungry for at the moment. I hope you don't mind?" Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there. She reached out and slipped her hand under mine while Marie stood there, frozen, maybe a little wild eyed. A moment later the three of us stood on a roof. Not the Academy, and I'm not sure exactly what roof it was, but it was high enough I couldn't really see anything around us except the night sky.

The roof had just enough tilt for it to be noticeable, but not enough for it to be a problem.

"For this night, let any with eyes to see look upon us with awe and envy, for I stand unashamed of who we are and what we are to one another, loves. As for the other," She turned to me, Grin in full effect, and sing songed, "I dressed her like that for you." Great start to a great night. The next morning, as we all woke up more or less together just before sunrise, I said, "I've got to go to work." Saffron kissed my forehead.

"I know, love." I turned to Marie.

"Are you any good at fighting in the water?" She shrugged.

"Would you mind helping me today?" She nodded, and I dressed us both in our Holy Garb. Then I looked to our Menace and said, "Menace, can you do Momma a favor?" When she looked at me quizzically, I said, "could I borrow your sash?" She didn't even think about it. She scampered over to the armoire, pulled it out, and brought it back. She waved me down, then draped it over my shoulder. Before I could pull away, she threaded her tiara through my hair.

"Mama safe now." I kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, Menace." I led Marie into the Workshop and called out, "Son?" He appeared to my side, directly in front of Marie. Smart boy, not trying to startle the Maenad. Glancing at her hands, he handed me a simple round shield. The design was simple concentric circles in the colors of Phileo and Camden Yards. I pulled it onto my arm.

"Thanks, Son."

"Please try to capture me one of those alive, if you can?"

"Will do, Son." Then I stepped Marie and I to the Troll Boat. I let go of her hand, grabbed the Scrying bowl, and Co-Located myself across the fleet, dropping one duplicate Scrying Bowl on each and every ship. Returning to Marie, I stepped us across to the big smoldering bonfire where Olga and Skasn lay with the collected Jotnar fishermen. More than a few of them looked to have singed feet, but those looked pretty friendly with the ones next to them with equally toasted toes, so I figured it was all good.

As she sat up, I said, "you ready?" She nodded.

"Okay then. The fleet is staying right where they're at for the moment. You, me, and Marie will be moving ahead to see what's waiting for us." She frowned.

"Why just us three?"

"Couple reasons. I'm pretty sure the three of us can disengage if we need to, and can take out any smaller Hole Spawn nearly as fast as they can come at us. We'll bring in reinforcements if we need to, so we'll want everyone ready, but I don't want them in the miasma until we have some idea what we're dealing with." She nodded.

"It still seems risky to me, but you're the Queen." Then she grinned.

"Hell, if you die, that makes me Queen, right?" I laughed, "sure. Win or lose, we're gonna set up a coronation for you today." Then I turned to Skasn, Co-Locating to his shoulder as I did.

"I'd like you and the other Jotnar to follow us. We'll be Translocating ahead, but if we need someone to pull her ass out, it's gotta be you guys." He just nodded, then started jostling the Jotnar fisherfolk awake.

"Make it quick, we need to get this started." With that I Translocated Marie and I to Olga's shoulder, then Translocated the three of us, skipping us toward Calverton. Maybe a minute later, we stood in the middle of the Bay, miasma wafting over the water so thick we could see it. To our left, the docks of Calverton filled the shore in the distance. To the right, I spotted a Jotnar sized hastily dug fortification, ongoing fighting atop the walls.

In front of us, the biggest fuckin' Hole Spawn I'd seen yet stood atop a small, low island. I couldn't tell if the 'Hole Spawn' part was a lobster, a crayfish, or maybe a scorpion, but it had two monster claws, two big ass wings mantled over itself, and a long, thick tail that curled up into a spike that dripped something smoking onto its own wings. Before anyone could do anything I Translocated one of me to M-Space and started Shaping. We arrived with false dawn coloring the air.

The moment we did, little Hole Spawn came at us. Olga had one of her father's spears, but she'd jury-rigged her own spears' tips to it, turning it into a really ugly trident. Murder Mittens and I just leapt into the water and met the fuckers head on. First the catfish Spawn hit us; Olga speared one, then another, and stomped on a third. Marie dodged to the side of the one charging at her, one hand reaching out and just fucking unzipping the side of the thing.

Mine tried to gulp me, but I got my shield up, and while it had that lodged in its mouth, I slid the blade of my sword staff through its eye, into its brain, and swirled. We each took care of another half dozen like that, then the Crabs arrived. Olga didn't bother with her spear. She'd done some work on her boots; She'd added some big chunky heels. Stone ones.

She straight up stomped the fuckers into the silt at the bottom, and if one stomp didn't kill them, it slowed them down enough she could get another couple stomps in, which did. When they came at me, I didn't bother pinning them.

I Co-Located into four of me, two shoving my shield into the fucker's claws to hold them spread, the other two shoving swordstaves that burned underwater, because as noted, Champion of a Fire God with nigh-infinite Mana to tell Physics to fuck off and bother somebody else, directly into the base of the eyestalks, then rotating to bake its brains.

I turned to watch Marie, only to realize that anything even vaguely related to a species that she routinely butchered, cooked, and ate was probably at a severe disadvantage. She'd taken the thing apart. Literally. Crab-Sparagmos in full effect. More Hole Spawn arrived, and we dealt with them the same way.

I worried a little about them not swarming us at that point, because we did not need thinking Hole Spawn, and enemies doing something that looked really stupid in defiance of instinct was usually a sign of somebody with a brain in charge. Maybe not a super smart one, I hoped, but a brain. Meanwhile Skasn had the Jotnar moving. On his shoulder I could just see the three of us fighting through the miasma.

His group moved forward cautiously, with him prodding the Bay with his spear while the others did the same with their clubs. I nudged him just a little to port, toward the Calverton side of the bay. Then one of the things I'd worried about happened. The big Hole Spawn on the island came at us. It flew through the air, getting bigger every second, until I realized it had to be at least as long as Olga was tall.

Olga got her spear up to meet the charge, and it sunk in, but the thing's stinger lashed out and caught her right in the gut. I watched it flex and pump some kind of venom, and she stumbled backward, coughing, slipping, and landing on her ass. Marie leapt at it alongside me. It pulled its stinger back and thrust it at me mid-leap; I had no way to dodge, and while my shield held, my arm cracked as the fucker's stinger hit square in the middle of my shield.

I tumbled to a stop atop Olga's belly just in time to see the thing grab Marie with both of its claws. She roared loud enough to shake the surface of the Bay right before it flexed, tearing her in half, slicing each half in twain for good measure. I staggered to my feet as the thing raised its claws, miasma rolling forward from it. The rest of the Hole Spawn drifted toward me, and fully aware of what I was doing, I pulled the straps on my shield tighter to hold my arm in place.

I collapsed the me on Skasn's shoulder into myself for a bit of reinforcement. As I did I called out, "HEY! Skasn! Uh, which side you coming up on?" He called out, right on the edge of hearing, "Port!" I shook my head to clear the ringing. Not quite right, not quite yet. The big lobster fucker stared at me, taking a cautious step forward.

"Wha? Port? The fuck is that?" I didn't have to see him to know his eyes were rolling skyward.

"ON. YOUR. LEFT." I couldn't help the predatory grin that stretched across my face as I looked the Scorpion Hole Spawn right in the eyes and said, "check and mate, bitch." Then the me that had been drawing Mana and Shaping it since before the fight started let loose with dozens, scores, hundreds of Scrying spells. Big ones. Bigger than our ships. One in front of each of them. And one corresponding one for each scrying the other way from just behind where I stood. Light went through both ways.

Particle and wave, could be anything. But sound went through. Which meant matter touched matter. Which meant matter could go through. That's just science. At least it is when you have enough Mana to bend Physics over the table and rail it like the little bitch that it is. Hundreds of ships carrying thousands of troops surged through my improvised gateways.

The hundreds of Hole Spawn froze as in an instant they went from closing on two casualties and one cripple to facing a fleet with just as much fuck you as they had, if not more. Shaping a massively overcharged Stabilize and a Heal and releasing them through the bottoms of my feet directly into Olga's gut, I held one hand out in front of me. He existed here and now. Parts of him were with me. If that fucker was worthy, I sure as fuck was. I closed my eyes and demanded it come to me.

My grin got even meaner when a heavy handle smacked into my hand. I glared at the big fucking lobster in front of me.

"That's the power of Stories, Bitch." Then, because Stories only work if you stick sorta close to them, I snugged my new battle hammer in next to my chest, amplified my voice to carry to all of our troops, even the ones in the impromptu fortress on the east shore of the Bay, and called out, "Alliance! Attack."

Then, because every kid from every poor town knows that when it comes to a fight, not only does everybody jump in, but you never give anybody a fucking even break, I took half a step forward and whispered at the Scorpion, "Sun Goddess say, 'it sunrise time'" Obedient to my will, the fucking Summer Solstice Sun stopped faffing about and crested the horizon, burning away the miasma as it did.

A moment later, the entire fucking surface of the Bay rippled, centered directly beneath the outstretched legs of the Scorpion. Marie beat her bubbles to the surface as she flashed up out of the water roaring, clawed hands that could punch through inch thick Cold Iron cleaving into the belly of the fucking Scorpion. Using Olga crunching herself upright like a launching pad, I leapt for the thing. Its claws flashed in. My shield met one, my hammer smashed the other. Its stinger reared back, preparing to skewer me.

I gripped my hammer. And a massive bolt of lightning speared down from a clear sky, blasting the thing's tail to bits. Flights of Crossbow bolts, boulders, Ballista bolts, even some fucking javelins, arrows, and axes flew from the decks of our bigger boats. Individually none of them would hurt a Crab or hit a Catfish, but they weren't individuals. Steel and stone rained down on them like a Summer storm, and Hole Spawn died.

Longboats full of screaming Vikings rushed forward, trying to close with the enemy before the ranged attackers killed them all. I watched as three of them caught a Crab that couldn't quite decide which to face. Before it could decide, it caught a dozen axes thrown by guys with double digit Strength, who proceeded to jump atop it and start hacking. From the fortification, a hiss travelled over the water as more than a thousand Trolls slid down the walls and tore into the Crabs there.

Any Crab that managed to hold them off caught a boulder slammed into the top of its shell by one of the Jotnar following them. Slowly but surely they were pushed back toward the shore, dying as they did. Bottom feeders. Scavengers. Ambush predators. None of the Hole Spawn knew how to deal with a horde of furious attackers out to kill them. As I brought my hammer around to smash the shit out of the Scorpion's other claw, they wavered.

I brought down another bolt of lightning on the stump of its tail, and it shuddered as the remainder blew off. The lightning spread out and took out another pair of Crabs where they tried to shelter behind it. Then the Scorpion's exoskeleton ruptured in a dozen places, Maries erupting from every opening. The Hole Spawn broke. Pursued from the south and east, they fell back, some of them heading for Calverton, but most of them scuttling for the island.

The water around it writhed as they clustered around it, making it harder for our ships to surround them, even as it made it hard for our ranged weapons to miss something firing into the crowd. Right at that point, when I hopped onto the sagging corpse of the Scorpion, calling down another bolt of lightning into the biggest group of Hole Spawn I could see, the Fates apparently decided that despite the enthusiastic activities of the previous night, I had not, in fact, been sufficiently fucked yet.

The fucking island stood up. It was not a scavenger. It was not an ambush predator. It was not even, really, a Hole Spawn. It was a Dragon. A Dragon as tall at the shoulder as Olga, probably four times that long. And by the tattered wings, the missing flesh on one side of its face, and the miasma that rolled back out over the Bay, it was Undead. I called down lightning. It shrugged it off like static, and breathed out a noxious, foul smelling blast of gritty sludge that burned where it touched my skin.

Olga screamed behind me. Half of the Maries on the field turned and charged. Some of them melted under concentrated death breath. Some of them fell to the thing's tail sweeping across the field just above the gathered Hole Spawn. All but one of the rest collapsed as the miasma overcame them. The Dragon brought its foreclaw down on that final Marie, crushing her into the floor of the Bay. That miasma reached out and sucked the life from our Vikings, our Volunteers, our Heroes, our Trolls and Jotnar.

Olga groaned and fell backward, then gasped. I turned to see Skasn clutching at his chest, toppling face first into the water. Rage tried to take me, but I held it back, sucked Mana into the me in M-Space, handing it over to Shape the biggest Smite in the fucking world. When it held as much as I'd poured in to make it Global in the first place, I screamed out, "fuck you, you Undead piece of shit!" and Smited the fucker. The miasma rolled back as the Smite burned its way toward the massive Undead Dragon.

The Spell arrowed in, targeted by the thing's own miasma. It hit its scales...... and trickled off like water from an anemic squirt gun. The Dragon's lips peeled back into an evil grin as its miasma rushed back out to fill the Bay. My troops faltered, falling back. Trying to, as the miasma stole the strength from rowers and sailors alike. Fucking fuckers. Fucking fuckers in fucking boats. Tears filled my eyes as my guys started falling.

Mostly into their boats, but here and there some unlucky bastard fell into the water, the Hole Spawn rushing toward them. No. The part of me fighting, calm despite the overwhelming urge to scream and leap, merged seamlessly with the endless icy fury of the tentacled masses in M-Space.

"Daughter?"

"Fuck off, Ma. I'm busy." I stepped to M-Space, cold fury radiating from the sea of tentacles hovering over the north and east ends of the Bay. I drifted up to the top of that midnight ocean. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I needed. I Scryed on the world of my Soul's birth, looking to the place of her berth. I scanned the river just downstream of where Tabitha Diaz died from a bullet wound to the head, but she wasn't there.

I cried out in the silent darkness, my long denied need growing stronger with every passing non-moment. My gaze travelled further downstream. Further. And then she was there. Not worn by time and weather and passing of river like she'd been last time I'd seen her, but shiny and new. Her steel demurely covered with a new coat of gray paint, save near the waterline, where she gleamed as red as the circle on my shield. I saw her. I wanted her. I needed her.

I reached out to her like I'd done before with the spray paint and the malt liquor. Mimic herself strained. Reached alongside me, her tentacles thick as category five tornadoes. Then she was there, floating five miles above the bay on a sea of tentacles. I stepped to her deck, willed Mimic to do as I wished. Her tentacles still refused to move into the Bay, but they flexed, drawing back, readying to throw her down at the twist of miasma that intruded even here in M-Space. I willed her to pause. Story and Song.

Ill spent time watching old Anime filtered into my brain, and I smiled; no better song than one in the language of the people who'd named her, her true name, the name that made me think of her when I saw that fucking smug Undead Dragon Bitch smile. I channeled Mana into an intricate pattern on the hull, and an orchestra opened up with its brass section.

Saraba chikyuu yo, Tabidatsu fune wa, Uchuu senkan, Black-Dra-gon, Uchuu no kanata, Calverton e, Unmei seoi ima tobidatsu, Kanarazu koko e, Kaette kuruto, Te wo furu hito ni, Egao de kotae. Ginga wo hanare, Calverton e, Harubaru nozomu Uchuu senkan BLACK DRA-GON! Like I hadn't memorized stupider opening lyrics without knowing what they meant. My Blend let me slip the right names in the right places, and Apollo's power let me project the song through M-Space with full orchestral accompaniment.

I grabbed the Mana I'd been channeling and, instead of pushing it in, yanked. Hard. I ripped the Mana from a hex pattern all across her outermost armored hull. I think I heard Mimic grunt out the mother of all, 'OOF's', which echoed through M-Space loud enough to hurt my ears. A wafer-thin, ultra-fine hex pattern of Cold Iron decorating her hull, my beautiful Black Dragon ripped her way out of M-Space as Mimic threw her toward the Bay.

As I fell, as Time itself kicked back into action, I blasted that song out again, echoing over the battlefield, dragging that big Undead Bitch's head around. Too slow. In the moment before impact, I remembered and split myself into twelve; one standing right on the prow glaring at Dragon Bitch, one sitting in the Captain's chair, one of me standing atop the dead Scorpion holding my shield and hammer. Do I even need to explain what the other nine of me were doing? Nine sixteen inch guns. Nine of me. You do the math.

Sixty thousand tons of steel wrapped in a miasma-piercing shell of Cold Iron slammed into the Mother of all Hole Spawn, my Black Dragon' s prow taking her square in the forehead before ripping through her like the world's biggest, bluntest guillotine. She didn't just get cut in half. She squished, splashing at least a mile to either side. The Summer Solstice Sun tore through the miasma she'd exuded, and her spawn scattered like cockroaches when you flick the kitchen light on.

While Physics is, when I channel enough Mana to bend her over the table, my bitch, that bitch is in fact a Yandere. I will not be developing a fear of heights. I believe, however, that I am well on my way to developing a healthy aversion to the sudden stop at the end. The pole holding the seat of the Captain's chair up had, I think, popped out the top of my skull. I fell off the prow and faceplanted into the muck at the bottom of the Bay at terminal velocity. Funny it's named that.

As I collapsed the four of me with shattered pelvises and lower spines back into the one of me standing atop the Scorpion, I Translocated to Swanson's big sailboat, ignored the pain coming from my general crotch area, grabbed him by the chin and pointed at my new flagship.

"Just so we're clear, that right there is a fucking Battleship."