Chương 58: PENANCE

The believers were in full force; T'balt, Ellie, the looters, and the humanists all together, their prime target caught in their sights. The cries of two innocent children spurred them all into action. Monan looked perplexed by the idea that they had gotten the drop on him somehow. He watched two of the believers retrieve Arthur and take him to safety. Considering he was aiming down the barrel of his life, aka that holy bow from Ellie, there wasn't much he was willing to do about it.

"So, looks like you got me," Monan said, hands behind his back. T'balt stared. He saw the healers going to work on Arthur, smoke emanating from his body. He couldn't believe it when Acelin had told him. He still couldn't believe it when he was seeing it with his eyes. Arthur had become one of those beings he thought had been infected by demonic power. If not for him, then Genya and Acelin might've been Monan's next victims. But it looked like they caught him before he could make his grand sacrifice.

The old man opened his eyes, placated by the healing. He saw T'balt and nodded. Because of him, T'balt finally had the upper hand on Monan. He could finally end everything here and now. But he remained cautious, keeping a sizable distance between himself and the other Redeemer.

"Looks like you made a mistake, Monan!" he shouted.

"Maybe I did. Got caught up having too much fun, you know."

"Your idea of fun means people die. It stops now. You're surrounded. There's no escape here."

"Look at you, you cocky shit. You act like you've won or something. You got no idea what kind of loot I'm holding. Could make a big splash."

"You're right. But everyone here knows what it means to kill you. They're ready to give everything for that purpose. They know that if it weren't for you, their lives would be safe. Even when we're divided, you're the common enemy. Give up now, and we'll make it quick. Then you'll keep up your end of the bargain. You'll leave me and the church alone for good." It seemed almost too easy. T'balt could tell by Monan's face that his confidence was a bluff.

If he fought right now, there was no doubt that they'd take heavy casualties, but all he needed was one good shot, and the game would end. Then, as if he heard his thoughts, Monan broke out in hysterical laughter, breaking the determination in those who would end his life. Ellie, the believers, and even Arthur started showing signs of their demeanors cracking. T'balt knew he had to end this quickly or he wasn't going to get another chance.

"Everyone… Att.."

"Ah. Ah ah…" Monan fired a pistol in the air. The burst shocked everyone still. T'balt found it suspicious.

"You plan on fighting us with a pistol?" Monan had the gun pointed at the sky and then aimed at his own neck, where the number was printed on him. That was when T'balt realized exactly what he was doing.

"Everyone, keep still! Don't attack!" he yelled.

"Why?" asked Ellie next to him.

"We have him dead to rights."

"Go ahead. Tell 'em, T, what's happening here?" Monan gloated and sat on the ground, legs crossed, finger planted firm on the trigger.

"You bastard… If he kills himself, the game doesn't end. That's what you're thinking, right, Monan? You're gonna get yourself off on a technicality."

"Looks like you might've made a good lawyer, T. That's right. You only win if you kill me. You or one of your goons." T'balt chewed his tongue. Of course, Monan would try to exploit a loophole in a game of his own rules. He was slimy. Which meant that if T'balt ever got him on the back foot, he could just pull this crap again.

"This isn't fair."

"Ah, yeah?"

"I couldn't pull that same move. If I die, it all just turns back to normal. But you… You're using an exploit. I never took you for a coward. What happened to not flipping the board when you start losing?" Monan thought to himself, rubbing the barrel of the gun against his cheek like he was getting an itch.

"Yeah, you're right," he said.

"What?" T'balt didn't expect him to quit so easily.

"Well, when you think about it, a forced suicide is still a form of manslaughter. So in that way, a kill still counts as a kill. You're right. I was bullshitting you." Then the truth of his plan came to fruition. It was all just a distraction. One of his playful japes to get everyone to let their guard down. When T'balt lost himself in confusion, Monan turned the gun on him and fired. Then T'balt's eyesight went black.

He fell over, blood spouting from his face, trying to fight the urge not to tear out his own eyeball. The pain was rattling his entire skull. He could hear the others yelling, screaming. They were fighting, but T'balt was too disoriented to see what was happening. His vision was blurred, and his hearing was disoriented, plagued by a constant, deafening ring. Someone pulled him out of the fight. His body told him to resist. He swung his arms and struggled, searching for Monan, blood pouring down his face.

"No, I have to get back. I have to kill him. I can't let him win again." But then the pain got to him, and he faded. He awoke in the upstairs bedroom. Ellie was sitting over him.

"T'balt," she nearly cried. But even at the sight of her face, he could only groan. The fact that he was still in this life meant that Monan was still alive, too. There were bandages wrapped around his ear and right eye. He could feel the bullet wound tearing straight through them. But outside his memory, they were numb. He could hardly feel that side of his face at all. He had to let his body get used to seeing out of one eye, but that didn't bother him. These injuries never lasted for long.

"Did Monan escape?" he said, half slurred. Ellie lowered her head and nodded.

"Damn it. I was so close. I could feel it. We had him dead. And he got me with a stupid trick like that."

"Take it easy, T'balt. You're still recovering." Ellie caught him sitting up.

"It's alright. I'm fine… Could you… leave me alone for a moment." She reluctantly obliged, leaving the room to himself. T'balt took a deep breath.

"Why'd they have to put me in this room?" All those times, all those painful memories centered at the heart of this red velvet room. Today, he was so close to finally settling the score. Then he wouldn't think of this room ever again. Or at least it would ice the pain he still felt whenever he looked at it. All the things that Monan had to do. He slept with Chosa. He killed Chosa. He made T'balt kill Chosa, the love of his life.

Then he killed Ellie and Arthur, manipulating everyone, and he forced him to experience painful death after death after death. When would it finally be over? When would he get a chance to rest? That was the one thing he wanted above everything else. His perfect ending, where he could sleep and spend his life with his new family, unperturbed by Monan. Then he could finally move on from this living nightmare.

"I completely agree," a voice said from the doorway. Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original. It was Arthur. T'balt looked at him, confused, but then looked down to realize he had broken a vase in his own anger. Frustrated with himself, he stood up from the bed.

"You're still here?"

"Why not? I'm one of you now," the man said. He took a long swig from a huge wine bottle as he stumbled over to T'balt.

"You look like you could use some of this, too." T'balt took the bottle, but instead of drinking it, he smashed it against the wall. Arthur didn't look surprised.

"I'll get another."

"Arthur," T'balt said abruptly.

"Do you think this is what she wanted? To undo all the progress you'd worked for."

"I've already disappointed her once. What's one more thing?" T'balt snatched him by the collar.

"Get a hold of yourself. If you're going to stay, the last thing I need is another drunk."

"Yes. Savior..." He burped with rancid breath. T'balt tossed him to the floor.

"Disgusting…" He wasn't in the mood to deal with a drunk. He had just lost an eye and hearing in one ear. So he went to leave.

"Well, what's the point of it all... If people like him still win?" T'balt turned around. The abbot wiped the watering in his eyes, feeling his own shame.

"Men should not be allowed to play with life itself. What becomes of the rest of us then? Do we mean nothing, forced to be props in another's game? We must all be disgusting to you…"

"That's not true, Arthur."

"I must be quite the anomaly to you. I hope the person you knew in the other worlds was more composed than this."

"Arthur, you're not a bad man. You never were, and you aren't now. I don't think so, at least. But I can't look at you like this. You've always been someone I respected. You guided me when I didn't know what to do. You were someone I always needed. Someone I could count on. Even after I found out what you did, I knew it wasn't because you were malicious. It was because…" T'balt looked around.

"Someone I used to love killed me in this very room. Stabbed me in the heart. Then the next life she tried again, and then I… It was self-defense, I knew. But still… no matter how I justify it, I still can't forgive myself for it." They both sat on the ground and leaned against the bed. Arthur spoke, looking at a ring of smoke floating above his hand.

"This power is miraculous. Earlier today, there were several holes in my body. In just a matter of moments, there were none. A gift from God, truly." His lips tightened.

"I killed her for that."

"Arthur…"

"No. I killed her. Now the loot is in my body, and I haven't felt a piece of my humanity disappear whatsoever. You know what that means? … She saw me do it. She looked me in the eye, feeling every bit of pain, knowing that it was me who did it to her." The tears came.

"I betrayed her. I could see how afraid she was. And I betrayed her. Then I justified it by telling myself, before God, that she had deserved it. I am a bad man, T'balt. A sin for a sinner."

"Don't blame yourself, Arthur. If you want, you can blame me. I was there. I could've saved both of you."

"You play a good saint, T'balt. But it isn't on you to save me from this burden."

"But I will."

"You'll what?"

"Listen. Now that I know, I can promise you that it won't happen again. By the end of this timeline, either Monan or I will kill the other, and when that happens. Your wife is alive again, and you won't have to think about this anymore." His eyes lit up.

"You can save her? Truly?" T'balt nodded.

"I don't know what this power means or if I'm an agent of the Looter God, but I will use his power to defy him with every inch of my will. Monan uses it to kill, but I'll use it to save people. That's what I decided. So I have to beat him, no matter what it takes. Now I know that you were the key to doing that."

"If you save Martha, then I promise I will do whatever it is you ask of me." T'balt chuckled.

"You won't remember you said that."

"But I swear to you, I will. I don't need to make a promise to know that about myself. I love her beyond all reason." T'balt nodded, getting up to leave the room.

"T'balt… When you save her in the next life, never tell us what I've done here." Just then, they were notified that the group of wrestlers had finally returned. It took him a while, but Cannon had finally fulfilled his promise—Returning with his host to live at the church. It seemed like great timing, too. With Arthur on his side again, much of the bickering between humanists and looters had stopped. And they could use the energy of Cannon's band to liven up the mood.

Even though he was missing a piece of his face, T'balt felt himself get excited to see Cannon. He guessed that after so long, he considered him a good friend, and he missed having him around. So when they told him of his arrival, he ran to the front side of the wall.

"Quick, hurry, let him in," he called. The person near the gate activated their loot, bringing down the large section of earth-made wall. T'balt laid eyes on the large man jumping to shake his hand, ready to see that Cannon swagger.

"I'm glad you made it." When he looked at his friend, though, there was no sign of joy within him. T'balt looked around.

"Where are your friends?"

"They couldn't make it," Cannon said flatly.

"Why not?"

"He has them." The might of Cannon's hand started to crush his own. And then he realized that he had just fallen into another trap. Even still, T'balt smiled.

"And what does he want you to do?"

"I'm sorry. He gave me a self-destruct loot," Cannon said.

"You should get the others far away from here." T'balt responded calmly, keeping the situation under control as he knew the others were watching.

"How far?"

"I think about 50 yards." T'balt whistled.

"That's quite the self-destruct." Cannon began choking up.

"I'm sorry. I know you don't deserve this, but he has hostages. I had to do something…"

"Cannon," T'balt said, raising an eyebrow, saying with his face that whatever Cannon was worrying about was no big deal.

"It's alright. Just the fact that you told me… means everything." Each death was no longer a loss. But it was one step closer to his ultimate goal. The time was 2 am. The world was clean, meaning it was lootless. The nights were still quiet, and the moon had yet to fill. Monan turned off the engine of his motorcycle, looked around, and then looked up at the almighty cathedral of the Acron church. He was feeling cheeky this time around. He walked the empty parking lot to the back door of the basement.

He knew Ellie would be there. The means to his next victory. He unholstered his pistol, hands on the doorknob of the church. He listened to the door, waiting to hear her footsteps creeping in the dead of night. He waited. Then he heard a step. And he ducked. Two shots were fired into the door as Monan dove for cover. He pushed himself to the closest car, dodging two more bullets.

"Damn... do you really sit out here every time now?" he called. T'balt fixed his aim at the car, waiting for one slip of his head.

"Didn't you tell me not to fall for the same trick twice?"

"And I thought you were a bad student…." He laughed. T'balt fired again, seeing a glimpse of his dark hair. But Monan ducked under the car, shooting back between the wheels. The bullets whizzed past T'balt's ankles, forcing him behind one of the church's pillars. He waited as Monan laid a few more shots into the pillar as he changed positions.

"I'm just trying to repay you for taking out my eye!" T'balt reloaded his revolver.

"My bad! In my defense, I was trying to kill you!" A few more shots whizzed by T'balt's ear.

"You know, I was hoping to get to that librarian bird again. But I wasn't going to kill her this time."

"I know. You were going to try to get her to kill me, is that it? That's been your obsession this entire time. Get the people I care about to kill me and make me just as lonely and desperate as you. But that's why you killed her last time. You couldn't get her to do what you wanted. Ellie's always been the one nut you couldn't crack. No matter what, you can't get her to like you, huh?" Monan fired a few more times, but T'balt heard him reloading. He came out of cover, firing all six of his rounds.

They all missed with Monan shielding himself with a light pole. Then T'balt was out of ammo, too. He threw the gun to interrupt Monan's reload and charged at him. Monan blocked his strike and delivered one of his own to T'balt's stomach. T'balt blocked the next one before wrapping his arms around Monan. He pushed heavily to throw him to the ground, but Monan was far stronger than him, lootless. He tossed him down like a bag of groceries, sending T'balt to his back.

And then suddenly, T'balt felt his neck being kissed by sharp steel. Monan had him at his mercy with his combat knife. But when it was just the two of them, death was the least of T'balt's worries.

"You think you've got me figured out, do you?" Monan said smugly.

"I know I do. You're slipping. The game is starting to wear you out. You're getting lazy." He twisted his neck, pushing the blade up against T'balt's chin. But T'balt showed his hand, pinching his thumb and forefinger near each other. Close but not touching, the universal sign for almost there. Then Monan pulled the knife away.

"It's too early in the game to kill you yet." He sighed.

"The librarian bird seems to be more pain than she's worth anyway. I'll see you on the battlefield, buddy." T'balt sat up from the ground.

"You feel it too, don't you... Your time is running out." Monan waved, walking back to his motorcycle unbothered by the threat. The engine of his bike revved, and he was gone, riding into the morning. T'balt had a mind to jump in his car and follow him. Try to mow him down, but that wasn't how he wanted this thing to end. He wanted to beat him straight. Definitively. So that he knew if he ever decided to mess with T'balt again, that it wouldn't end well for him.

He was looking for a total victory in a head-to-head, and he was so close. He let his bloodthirst gnarl his teeth as he breathed in the fresh, autumn air. Then he looked to the sky for a long time, waiting for God to drop the dust in his eye. It never came. Ellie opened the church door after ducking for cover for twenty minutes. After the gunfire stopped for a while, she checked outside to see if anyone had been killed.

But when she opened the door, she saw a stranger smiling at the moon with an emptied revolver in his hand. T'balt put up a peace sign.

"Hey."