Chương 47: THE GOD WE BELIEVE

His eyes widened. There was no doubt in her expression. She knew very well what she was asking of him, but it was as if the consequence did not matter to her in the slightest. The statement was as natural to her as telling a child to do their homework. But T'balt was stubborn. For him to process, he had to put everything into words. As if they were never explicitly said, he didn't have to face them. He smiled his nervous smile, afraid of what it might speak.

"The only way to remove someone's loot is…"

"I'm willing," Ann said, fighting his doubt with her lack of it. The sight of her determination to oppose him made him tense and clammy. All the self-doubt and confusion in her before was replaced with unbearable certainty.

"But why?"

"I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do." She leaned back against the kitchen counter, searching the ceiling for a better answer.

"I can feel the me from before. She says that it's okay. Give your life if he needs it. You've done it before."

"What kind of a man was I that I would ask someone to do something like that?" He was disgusted with himself, the self that he never knew.

"Someone with a greater purpose to fulfill." She came closer to him, aiming down the barrel of his uncertainty. She wanted to sync with his mind, turning her head where he turned and following his gaze when he tried to avoid hers. He looked to the little girl, who was playing with her broken doll, not realizing the consequences of the words being spoken.

"I couldn't do that," he said. Ann stood even closer, making sure he met her eyes.

"Then you can't reset. You have to see what comes after."

"Why? Why let someone die when I can save them?" Acelin perked his ears up, listening to every word.

"That's the message," said Ann.

"If you try to abuse this power, it will lead to a darkness that you cannot return from. Like quicksand. It will take you, and no one will be able to reach their hands to grab you." T'balt spoke slowly, making sure to deliberately make his intentions clear.

"You tell the Looter God to mind his damn business." Ann sat down and finally took a sip of coffee. She had nothing to say after that. T'balt left her to sit with Ellie in the small bedroom off the back corner of the house. Her figure took up all of the twin-sized bed. He cleaned up what he could around her, making sure she had the space to breathe, which he could see was troubling her. Her eyes were shut, dancing in the space between life and death. He gave himself no choice but to watch.

He didn't understand Ann in the slightest. How could she be so willing to give her life to a woman she's never met? All for the sake of T'balt. Why couldn't he remember her? If the Redeemer powers worked like he was told, then when he gained the Redeemer power, he shouldn't have lost his memory. But he was stuck in his normal self. Not theT'balt that she saw. They were not the same person. His only purpose was to survive, nothing greater. A chunk of him was missing. He did feel that every day.

Like he wasn't the person he was supposed to be. The T'balt Ann knew sounded confident, brave, and certain. So much so that she was willing to put her life on the line for T'balt just because he shared the same body as that person. It didn't make any sense. Why could she see those things when not even he could? But she only saw enough to tease him with the knowledge. And he felt like if he asked her anymore, she would turn back into that manic person, spiraling into confusion.

"The Looter God, huh…" he wondered. Ellie's breathing started to get erratic. T'balt saw her face reddening. He felt her forehead.

"A fever." He turned.

"I think we need a…"

"Here you go." Genya was underneath him, presenting him with a cold, wet towel, eyes wide and happy.

"Uhh… thanks." T'balt placed the towel on Ellie's head. And Genya waddled back out of the room, none the wiser.

"What a strange girl," T'balt thought. It was obvious that Ellie was deteriorating. And he could tell by her gritted teeth that she was fighting to stay alive.

"I don't want you to die." But was he willing to kill someone to stop it? To reexperience what he went through with Chosa? But why not just reset? The timeline would be ruined without Ellie. There wouldn't be any point in continuing without her. That wasn't his perfect ending. He remembered the times they fought and the times they loved. It made him think of Arthur.

"We've been invaded by a foreign god." Maybe he was wrong for thinking the old man was crazy. Or maybe the crazy was just getting passed around like a disease.

"So are you going to kill her?" It was Acelin's voice that interrupted his thoughts. He had snuck up on him, looking at the unconscious Ellie.

"No," T'balt said.

"Is killing all you think about?"

"He was hurting her… I just…"

"You just what? Are you so messed up in the head that you think murder is the first solution to all your problems? That's called evil, Acelin."

"Forget it…" Acelin left the room.

"You're just like all the others." Without anyone seeing him, he walked out the front door of the house, sneaking past Ann and Genya. He had had enough of it all. Trying to be nice. Showing that he cared. He was sure that T'balt hated him now. So there was no point in staying around people who hated him. But he couldn't process all the strange feelings in himself. He blamed himself for Ellie getting hurt. When he looked at her, clearly in so much pain, he wanted to die.

It was because he hesitated in killing that man that attacked her. Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

"What do I care if her or T'balt dies? They're just some stupid adults." He went exploring around the city, using his speed loot to go wherever he wanted. It should've been what he was doing the entire time. Complete freedom. No one to tell him what to do, and no cramped spaces to force himself still. The city was huge, one big playground to build, play, and destroy to his heart's content. He was hoping he'd find more cool places like that hotel. The first thing that caught his eye was a candy store.

The window was already broken, and most of the products still lined the shelves. He felt like he hit the jackpot. He pigged out on most of it, especially the fruit snacks and pretzels. He even played the game where he threw one in the air and caught it in his mouth. He tried to pull a cool trick where he dropped the gummy snack off the top of a building and then ran down to catch it in his mouth. But he never put himself in the right spot and ended up wasting 12 gummies on the ground.

9 actually, because 3 he decided to eat anyway when he gave up. But next to the candy shop looked to be a Halloween costume shop. It caught his attention, so he broke the window and hopped inside. It was crawling with weird, creepy costumes and masks: Bears, gorillas, demons. It was kind of like he could wear the faces of the demons that attacked them.

"These are cool." One in particular caught his eye. One that looked like a mix of a robot and a tiki mask. The eyes were dark, and the face bluish grey with sharp edges in the contours of the face. He was fascinated by it, like something he'd seen in a video game. He tried it on. Perfect fit. It almost gave him a surge of power. He felt like someone no one could mess with. A vigilante. A villain. An anti-hero. The outcast who didn't care what the world thought of him. He blasted the other masks as target practice.

Sparks filled the room as each bolt produced a deafening crackling scream. 1, 2, 3. And that started a fire. He rushed out of the building, almost afraid. But then he remembered that most of the world was gone. No one would care what happened to this little shop. So once outside, he took aim again and pelted the inside with lightning bolts. Nothing was stopping him. Not long after that, the building went up in a giant fireball as Acelin watched, satisfied.

There was a sound of thunder in the distance, not by his hand. The clouds looked heavy. Rain was coming. He flipped up his hood, still wearing the robot mask. Hands in pockets, he walked the disheveled sidewalk of the city. He still couldn't shake that uneasy feeling in his stomach. He wished it would go away. He wished he could kill it. But it spoke to him without mercy. It said that she didn't deserve to die. Ellie had always been so friendly with him. No matter when she saw him.

At his worst or at his strongest, she played that kind, loving figure that he always missed in his life. Like there was a gap she could fill with her smile. She was one of the few adults that he could say never betrayed him. She would sneak him extra snacks, and she always made sure he was okay, even when there were so many other kids to take care of. A single tear flushed out under the mask. If the only way to save her was to kill that woman, then he knew what had to be done. If T'balt wouldn't do it…

Acelin wasn't going to make the same mistake as he did with Vikram. He wasn't going to hesitate. He looked at his hands as the crash of electric current overflowed them.

"Killing isn't the first solution. It's the only one." Genya, with wobbly arms, delivered T'balt a platter with a cup of tea.

"Here is your cupotee. I made it myself, using Momma's hands." T'balt thanked her.

"You know you don't have to keep bringing me stuff like this."

"It's no problem. I'm a first mate. My job is to make sure the crew is happy." She saluted.

"Right." T'balt feigned a smile, taking a sip of the tea. He wondered why Ann would be so willing to leave the girl behind. What would she do without someone looking after her? She would be off alone with no family. It was another reason he couldn't do what she asked. It was inhumane to him. But then he would look at Ellie, remembering her as she held him naked in a pool of his blood. She asked if it was selfish of her to not want him to die.

"Hey Genya," he said.

"Yes, cappin""Why do you keep calling Ann momma? Didn't you have a mom before?"

"I call all adult girls momma. I never had a real one. I was at an or.. orpan.. orpanig."

"Orphanage," T'balt corrected.

"They would always be mad at me because I'd play hide and seek in the vents. When the monsters came, I played with them too. They couldn't find me. But they found the other mommas. So I had to find a new one. Everyone needs a momma." T'balt regretted asking the question. There was so much misery in the world. Not even children were safe from it. He was surprised the girl wasn't terrified all the time. But that likely meant she didn't understand the depth of what she saw.

But he didn't know what possessed him to ask his next question. His inner filter was broken, likely because of the strain of emotion.

"And what would you do if you lost this momma?"

"I'd have to find another one. But s'okay. Momma is better now." She kicked her feet, marching out the door. T'balt went to see Ann. She was in the backyard staring at the full moon as it peeked its way into the daytime sky.

"As kids, they would say if you stared up at the sky too long, that god would drop something in your eye. It never stopped me from staring. It's too beautiful up there." T'balt looked at the sky behind her, using his hands to block the beam of the sun from his eyes. The clouds were accumulating above them, forcing the sky into a murky grey darkness.

"Looks like it's going to rain."

"Do you think he's angry with us?" T'balt gawked at her, unable to focus on games of the divine.

"If things reset, what will happen?"

"I don't know. But I don't think I'll be able to return to you."

"Why not? If I could talk to you in a different iteration, maybe you could remember more about who I was, and you could tell me."

"I'm not in control of what the Looter God shows me," she said.

"Have you ever seen me before now?"

"No. I haven't."

"Then that's because he didn't tell me to come. I'm not a Redeemer. I had to travel for four days, from miles away. And if he didn't give me Genya, I would've died. I can't seem to do anything without his permission." There was sadness when she spoke, a cruel acceptance of her lack of power. He could see a timidness in her that didn't show when she was asking T'balt to kill her.

"Then how did I find you the first time?"

"I don't know. But I've been able to piece together some things."

"Like what?" She caressed his cheek. He flinched at first, but when she persisted, he gave in to her, feeling like a child.

"You were kind. But always burdened. A leader who had men following him to confront the end of the world. We believed that you would save us all." T'balt gently moved her hand from his face.

"If I'm here, that means I failed."

"Or that your fight isn't over yet." Genya came outside. Her eyes showed that flash of red.

"What is it, Genya?" Ann asked.

"The mean boy's loot is far away," the little girl said.

"Acelin." He looked around the house, and the kid was nowhere to be found. He hadn't seen him in a while, too focused on Ellie to pay attention.

"That kid." He shook his head, sighing.

"Can't he just be a normal kid for once?"

"It's okay. I'll take Genya and find him," Ann offered.

"No. He isn't your problem. He's mine."

"You still have your own wounds to heal from. Besides, you should keep watch over Ellie. Someone close to her should stay by her side. With Genya's loot, we can find him quickly. Then we should return with still enough time to save her."

"Ann… I…"

"It's okay. Whatever you decide to do," she said, a hush in her voice. T'balt stayed quiet and watched them go.