Chương 96: Hot and Hotter

Addy By most metrics, the stream was going… alright.

"She's undressing her," I hissed, eyes glued to the stream.

"She's totally, absolutely undressing her."

"With her eyes," one of the Sam's replied from the communal kitchen.

"Very important distinction." My thumb hurt. I was biting it too much. I moved on my index, only to remember that I'd already chewed the nails down to nubs. Regret was an unwelcome emotion, and yet here I was, boiling over with it like a kettle. Sam was just too good at adapting and making friends, and Genesis was acting oddly receptive. It's a ploy, a fake. There's anger roiling off of her like smoke out of an open caldera. She hates Sam, and Sam doesn't know why. I couldn't look away.

I'd be a bad mission control if I couldn't spot things Sam overlooked, or come up with plans to take some mental load off of her. But no, she was doing so fine on her own. All I could do was sit here and watch the emotional mist bounce around and mingle in that stuffy, infuriating room. People used to think cameras captured their soul. They were only half correct. A camera could capture so much about the world that wasn't visible to the naked eye. Sometimes people caught ghosts on camera by accident.

In this case, I could watch Genesis suffocate the joy in Sam's soul, her own anger floating up and disappearing… somewhere. The couch bounced as someone practically pushed a bowl of rice and chicken with orange sauce into my hands. I sniffed it tentatively, not taking my eyes off the stream.

"Is this…?"

"Butter Chicken? It sure is." I took an absentminded bite, coughed, and blinked. It was spiced to perfection, with a slight aftertaste of home.

"Since when can you cook?"

"Since last week. I've got time to listen to entire cooking audiobooks while running between convergence events, so I'm learning." She grinned between forkfuls of rice and chicken, her other hands turning me around so my back was to her.

"Also, your aunt shared recipes for your favorites." She began massaging my shoulders with four hands while eating her food with two. It was… good. Relaxing. I didn't moan, no matter what that smug grin on her face said.

"You're not an anger-monocaster," she purred.

"I'm not. I'm anticipation-anger-fear."

"Then why so tense? Don't you trust her?"

"You may have noticed that 'trust' wasn't mentioned as any of my three casting emotions."

"Addy." The reproach sounded genuinely hurt. If I were in anything but my human form, my ears would've been lying flat on my head.

"You don't trust us?"

"You're the champion of joy," I countered weakly.

"I've been trying to find what is most likely to cause the end of the world for over a year now. The evidence is… not in your kind's favor."" Your kind's? Pfff. Addy, besides being a champion, I'm also your girlfriend, a Custodian, and just about the last person you need to hide anything from. I'm…" she paused, forehead creasing as if she was trying to understand something, "I'm hurt. And a little bit angry. Huh."

"You've got the right to be." No matter how much I tried to deny it, the truth was that on some deep level, I couldn't trust Sam. I wanted to. And possibly I would, against all reason, just to be close to her. But feelings weren't so easily changed, and some words couldn't be taken back.

"I'm…"

"Nono, Addy, I don't really get angry much these days. I'm… ever since the split, I felt more focused, more able to plan for and act on the future. I'm pretty sure every major body double focuses on mainly one emotion. We can channel others, sure, but for me, anticipation has been so dominant that sometimes I fail to channel fear."

"And now you're feeling anger. At me. Which is… unusual?" I blinked at her.

"Addy, when I look at you, I feel so much joy I feel like my heart is about to miscast and explode." I stopped mid-chew. What was I supposed to say to that? The Sam that was all smiles, purrs, and hisses had just walked in on us, and she was just standing there in the background, nodding wisely. My face did most of the communication for me as I felt myself unable to meet her gaze.

"I-I think…" I can tell her this much, can't I?

"I think that on some level, every champion, Genesis and you included, might be using some unknown mechanism to spread your base emotion to other people, thereby empowering your envoy."

"Duh. I love making people happy. Genny's a ragebaiter, an influencer, and the champion of anger. She was pulling pranks and spreading unwanted opinions on drama that does not affect her since before she became a Custodian in 2037."

"Oh." That… made a lot more sense than my idea. For a moment I was worried that she'd somehow hidden an emotion inducer in her merchandise. God, she had loads of merchandise. And it was all selling really well too. Now I was angry. Increasingly angry. The couch bounced again as the smiley Sam sat down, her hands roaming over my chin, cheek, and forehead. She cooed, and wrapped me in a hug that could've meant anything.

"Have some trust in us. No matter what, we will always love and trust you. So, if you're feeling jealous, or uneasy, or you think we're doing something wrong, just tell us."

"I feel like…"

"Yes?"

"... like you're exploiting my weakness to physical contact to distract me from getting angry about stupid things."

"A valid theory." Smoothy scooted up from my other side and whispered.

"How about we put it to the test?" +++ Sam? <<Addy jealous. Situation stable. >> <<Don't let Genesis get to you. >> <<Also, Addy says that whatever happens, DO NOT KISS HER. >> I sat there, slumped on the couch, trying not to imagine what Addy was doing with my other me's. I didn't have to suffer for long, because soon they started sending pictures. I… am mildly jealous. Back in the studio, I was having a sort of out-of-body experience.

Intellectually, I knew that Genesis was loudly talking about publically available information on my build, trying to somehow get a dig at me or score some points in this ephemeral game of hers. Practically, it felt like someone else was sitting on this sofa, and looking like they'd rather be anywhere else. I looked down at myself. My dress almost looked wilted.

"... and while deception is key for any illusion-based magic, that isn't all what this bug has in store. Just to be clear: you can split yourself down in half, then again, and you don't lose any power between the four of you."

"Pretty much," I answered absentmindedly.

"I've got doubles here, there, everywhere. They do my groceries, taxes, and errands for me. Currently I've got…three."

"Oh come on, that's cheating!" Genny feigned indignance, before whispering with that grin of hers.

"Really, only three?" I shrugged.

"Maybe. You said it yourself. Deception is key. And I'm… sneaky. A magical girl spider vampire ninja. With guns."

"Where'd the ninja come from?"

"I knew you wouldn't see him coming." She paused. There was a collective spasm in the chat as people woke up to the fact that I'd just made my first joke in over an hour. A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. Genny was confused, if anything.

"Well, there you have it, ladies and powerscalers. A magical girl spider vampire ninja… thing. Person. Whatever, time for our final course. You've asked her questions, now it's time for her to spit some facts!" The ground glowed with the sign of some ritualistic magic, familiar because of one moment in life I'd never forget. This was a circle of truth, the same spell that was used on me during my faux trial.

Evidently, she had embarrassed me enough and decided that now it was my turn to embarrass myself, terminally. Everything before that was just setup. Calculated moves, snubs and verbal traps to get me to open up, reveal more about myself, unspool me like a yarn. And now that she had my measure, she knew exactly where to cut to make it hurt. Oh great.

"Well then. What is your most useless ability?"

"I can talk to birds. Mostly, they just talk shit. Crows are bastards." She raised an eyebrow.

"Really? How'd a spider like you get a thing like that?"

"I am multi- limb ual." The chat spasmed again. This was twice now. They… liked my puns? They're terrible puns though. Maybe it's because they're unexpected. A surprising new facet. A novel, natural feature. Naledi sniggered, while Genny was hiding her reaction behind her index cards.

"Alright. Next up, an opinion. How's being the big boss of your own little Custodian cabal going for you?" The spell tugged at my tongue.

"I'm not the boss, just a founder. We've got more of a council situation going on. In all seriousness, sometimes it's like herding cats, except at least cats have a drive towards self-preservation." Genny grunted.

"Don't I know it. Sometimes it feels like we're getting fewer and fewer of us by the day. And the things we do to keep the grizzly monsters at bay… ugh." I shrugged.

"Mostly, it's just a lot of violence."

"We change who we are, mind, body, and soul."

"Some more in body than others" I unfurled my arms behind my back, like a halo of flowerpetals.

"I like my changes, for one."

"Cause you got more of the good bits. We aren't all so lucky." Boy she sounds pissed. There was something there in her past, something she couldn't let go. If I'd done even half the prep she had for this show, I'd probably know what it was. I was like a gun without ammo, with the target between my sights. It was frustrating.

"I…" I got a ping on my interface. Addy had sent me a picture of a normal girl in a normal school. She had brown braids and a goofy looking pair of glasses. The way she stood reminded me of the awkward, nerdy type, the friendless kind who wrote straight A's and disappeared behind the spine of a book all day.

"I didn't know you used to be cute."

"Excuse me!?" Naledi cried from behind the camera. I blinked, looked around the silent studio.

"I, whoops, I just said that out loud, haha." From somewhere, a laugh track played. Genny was just looking at me again with one of those stares. In that moment I understood that the spouts of anger and vitriol aimed at me were simply leaks from a burning core of self-loathing. Genny was the physically strongest Custodian out there, the one with the highest Body stat. And she hated it. We both sat there, her in her undersized chair on a too small desk, me on the torn-up sofa under a tilted framed painting.

Nobody said anything. I had to say something. If I didn't, she might just try to strangle me here and now. I eyed the window.

"So. This is it? You invite people, try to get them angry, then everyone leaves depressed?" Genny's chair creaked.

"Oh, fuck off."

"I know. How about next time we all go out and touch grass? A picnic sounds nice. I'll even bring my girlfriend." I ignored the chat which quickly filled with various distracting questions, and stood up — nearly hitting my head on a low-hanging, ugly-ass chandelier.

"That's crazy. You're crazy." It would put us on too much even ground, wouldn't it? But you can't say that.

"Picnics are overrated. All the people and the insects — no offense, of course. But I'd rather stay in close proximity to a minifridge."

"Arachnids aren't insects. You can bring your drinks in a cooler. And since when do any of us have to worry warm soda when we can teleport it in from the nearest freezer?"

"The right audio and lighting are a bitch and a half to set up outside," she countered.

"This place is stuffy, it's depressing," I shot back.

"Go outside, make some friends! Honestly, I'd be miserable too if I had to sit in here all day. Let's get all seven of us together and just have a nice evening." Genny and Naledi both perked up. Seven. As in, the seven remaining champions. The implication was as clear as day. To them, at least. The audience was left thinking we were simply a lot closer than we were.

"You're crazy," she said, and because that didn't suffice, she added.

"Why are you, a spider of all people, going around gathering friends like pokemon? Oh, wait, this is some sort of fucked-up recruitment scheme for your league of weird folks, isn't it? Catching us in your web, spinning to your tune." I placed a hand on my heart, feeling its beat, its rhythmic certainty.

"Genny, if you want to join the Free Poker League, just ask. We'd be happy to have you." Because after today, I can't look at you with anything but pity and the desire to help. And as long as people understand that, I can't lose to you. And they did. The initiative had been thoroughly reversed. In the public eye I was being reborn as a spider of intrigue and mystery, with hidden depth that some people knew was there all along, of course.

I wasn't Genny's punching bag, I was friends with her, with so many Custodians. I wasn't spiteful or bitter or anything Genny hoped I would show to be. I just wanted to help. I turned to the camera. This was it.

"I started out thinking I wanted to be a magical girl. Not a Custodian, but a dress-wearing, love-bomb-shooting beacon of all things nice. I wanted to save the world with my own two, then four, six, and so on, hands. But really, that's impossible. The world is too big, there's too much suffering, and too much I couldn't do even if I had all the time in the world." I took a deep breath.

"But I'm not stopping. Tomorrow, I'm going to make the world a better place. And after that, I'll do it again. And again. It sounds absurd, I get it, considering I work with this." I whispered an incantation and a bazooka appeared ready in my hand. It felt good to say, like I was catching on a truth I'd never truly expressed.

"But I will. And to prove it, I'll record it, live, no matter what happens. The grizzly and the ugly bits of Custodian life, the heights of joy, the depths of sadness and anger. I'll show you what my life is like, how to do what I do in small parts. We'll call it…

'My Daily Custodian Life'. It'll be on the net, starting… well, I guess tomorrow." Genesis wasn't laughing, instead leaning back on her chair, massively muscled arms crossed. Her rimmed glasses were discarded on the table and she was staring at me with a look I couldn't quite decipher.

"You heard it here folks. Someone's biting off more than she can chew," she grumbled. The chat didn't care. They were going berserk. I caught her flicking an eye towards her own feed and disguising a scoff as a cough.

"Alright, spider's plugged her shit. That'll be all for today. See you around suckers."

"Aaand we're no longer live," Naledi said, turning off the camera before hopping over to dab Genny's forehead with a towel. She reminded me awfully much of her envoy Eep! in the way she moved, but with a hidden quality of danger, like a viper.

"That was something. At least people won't call this episode boring." I breathed a sigh.

"Did I do well?" Genny seemed to sink into her chair hard enough that it looked near to snapping.

"Honestly? I have no fucking clue. Usually everyone's dancing to my strings, guests included. Not today. Well played, Trigger Happy." I shot her a genuine smile.

"Call me Sam."

"Sam, huh? And you like being a Custodian?"

"You don't?" I asked.

"I used to. Not anymore. We used to be a novelty, but now people are getting used to us, feeling like our help isn't exceptional, but something to be expected. Feels like we're turning ourselves into monsters for a bunch of thankless folks." Slowly, I turned to face her.

"You're not a monster, Genny."

"Look at me," she growled, thumping her chest.

"You were right, I used to be cute. I used to be someone normal, but the world hasn't been running on normal for a long time now. Once it does, if it does again, where will I fit in? This chair is fucking titanium and it is bending, Samantha. I can bend steel beams with my bare hands, I can eat concrete and digest it, but I can't use a fucking spoon because they all bend and break! Where do I fit in?"

"I, uh." I scratched the back of my head.

"I haven't given that much thought at all. I'm sorry."

"Fuck off with your pity."

"I guess I won't be sorry?" Prideful, irritable, what else was this woman?

"Actually, no, I refuse to not be sorry. Know that you aren't being pitied, but empathized with, and that your pain is heard. And I was being serious, with my offer. I want to be friends, with everyone preferably."

"In the world?"

"I'll start with the champions of every envoy. Alex, Will, Zeb, Naledi, You, and me. Even Trust, if I can somehow square that with everyone else. There has to be a better way to decide the course for the future than beating the snot out of each other." After staring at me for the longest time, Genny snorted.

"God, I hate joy monocasters."

"I'm not a monocaster." Genny blinked in disbelief when Naledi cut in.

"Bullshit. Every champion is a monocaster of their represented emotion. I'm filled with Fear, Genny's pure, unbridled anger, possibly even rage."

"Neat." I struck a heroic pose.

"I'm Joy-Anticipation-Fear." The ensuing silence was a lot. Genny shook her head.

"You just keep on getting weirder and weirder." And so, the long podcast-slash interview ended for the day. I was packing my things, which is to say brushing myself down and putting the rather heavy bazooka on the sofa — it wouldn't do to give the old girl covered top to bottom in cute stickers more unnecessary scratches — when I got an odd notification. [Genesis has sent you: 200 Soulcoins]"So you can't say I took complete advantage of you." The larger woman had composed herself. She gave a side eye to my bazooka.

"You gonna leave that there?"

"Sure am."

"Soulbound, huh?"

"Yup." There was another awkward silence.

"I had a talk with Ledi. The picnic you mentioned… well, I don't know about changing the venue, but if you really are up for a repeat of this whole shebang, we can do it in a week." I blinked at her.

"I—""Under one condition." The amazoness leaned down until we were face to face.

"Bring an interesting guest with you, each time. You know who I'm talking about."

"The champions? In a week? Why the rush?"

"Things are changing fast. How many months are left in the year, and in which of those do you think the big kahuna is coming to drown us all?" I gulped.

"Point taken. I'll give it a shot."

"No shots, only hits. This isn't a game, Trigger Happy."

"I don't miss, Genny. Also, wow, way to talk down to me."

"I'm still higher level than you."

"And I'm not gonna let that or anyone stop me from criticizing them." Genny snorted.

"Great. Glad we're all of one mind then."

"Anything else?" I asked, hoping that the answer was no so I could zoom back to Addy waiting at home. The video had ended, but the sounds coming through our audio connection were rather… scandalous. Genny and Naledi shared a look.

"Me and Ledi are a thing, unofficially. You're hot, candycorn, and look like a bottom, so if you're up for a no-strings-attached netflix-and-chill session afterwards…" Addy's rage was nearly palpable through my interface." I am going to punch her in the kidney!"

"I have a girlfriend."

"She can come too," Naledi added.

"No thanks."

"To letting her join, or to this whole," Genny gestured aimlessly around in the air.

"God, you two are so incredibly infuriating."

"Living up to the name," Genny said with a grin.