Chương 84: Enter: Sam?

Sam?

"A-addy. Hey." I gave a shaky wave.

"Sam?"

"I'm Sam!" The other Sam said.

"But she's… also Sam." I nodded. Addy just stared in between us.

"So, is this the surprise you were holding back? Because I won't say no to a three—""I need to sit down. Sorry." I said, and nearly collapsed onto the floor. Everything from exhaustion to the mental disconnect of seeing myself hugging my girlfriend protectively from… possibly me was flooding in like ballast tanks filling on a submarine, dragging me down. Addy and other Sam were up in a heartbeat.

My girlfriend didn't quite know what to do other than stand at the ready, but the other Sam, oh she knew exactly what to do.

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about you! Shit, dammit, I… sorry. I am so, so sorry. We should've talked about this, about, well, everything beforehand."

"We really should have, shouldn't we?" I said with a shaky laugh.

"Greater autonomy, times seven charges, times two with [Echo] and [Concentrate Spell]. I suppose I should've expected something like this when I started becoming too scared to uncast you… or you to uncast me. But, for the record, I think I'm probably not the real one." The other Sam was already next to me. She put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"I… it's not important who the original is. You get to be treated with all the respect a person does." I nearly cried. She was so nice, so caring. Of course the original was. That was why I was the double. Probably. Maybe. I guess we would've found out if I'd died earlier today. Body doubles don't leave a body behind. Two hands grabbed me under my armpits while two more secured my legs as she carried me over to a couch strewn with various articles of clothing. Addy quickly threw on a saggy t-shirt.

She eyed the two of us, me wallowing in exhausted misery, the other Sam wavering between worried, shameful, and anticipating some way to iron out this inconvenient situation.

"So," Addy said, dragging the other Sam back to the couch and plonking herself down between us.

"You've got a problem with your doubles. This wasn't a problem when I last visited. So spill it, what happened these last three months?" She addressed me, then her. Did that sequence mean anything? Did she think I was the real one, and not the other Sam? Did it at all matter to her?

"I…" I took a shaky breath.

"I think it's best I just showed you my stat sheet."

Samantha Rubens [Lvl 70] - Trigger Happy Arachnid Body: 511 Sense: 294 Mind: 515 Soul: 500 Free Stat Points: 0 Spell mod point: 0 Silver Soulcoins: 2231 Ivory Soulcoins: 0 Extra lives: 2 Average Emotion-Crystal-Core efficiency: 510% (Expand List) Essences (8/8): [Huntsman Essence - Uncommon], [Coral Leaper Essence - Uncommon], [Lesser Ur-mimic Essence - Rare], [Tentacle-faced Spider Moose Essence - Rare], [Vampire essence, Blood of Nezahualcóyotl - Rare], [Trigger Bug Essence - Rare], [The Great Deceiver - Unique], [Machine Core 413 - Exceptional] Passives: [More arms], [Vampirism I], [Proprioception sensors], [Concentrate Spell] Spells: [Arms & Arms proficiency], [More Spider-Eyes], [Illusory Double +++] [Elasticity], [One Moment], [Sticky], [Echo], [Trigger], [Arachnid Form], [Of Many Colors], [Concentrate Spell +] Augments: Minimap, GPS, Calendar, Timer, Calculator, Death sensor (Addy), Language translator packs (Various) Addy eyed the popup on her screen for a moment before returning to me.

"Okay. How about instead, you tell me what happened, in your own words." Oh, the pressure, oh the misery. I'd dropped my soda, which I only noticed as the other Sam handed me a new one. And also, a blood bag. Thanks, better Sam. Mmmh, sugar and blood, blood and sugar.

"So," I said after a long sip.

"I may have found the point where academic theory and magical practice turns into a real-life philosophical conundrum. If… say you can make a clone of yourself at the snap of a finger, and that clone inherits all your memories, your thoughts and emotions, can do every single thing you can, how do you know that you're not the clone? The continuity of consciousness is complete. I blink, I cast the spell, but from the clone's perspective, they blinked and they cast the spell."

"It's real disorienting, real freaky," other Sam muttered. Addy didn't seem to see the problem.

"So what? You face a wall. You cast the spell in front of you. The person furthest away from the wall is the original. Easy."

"I… huh." I paused.

"I suppose it would be that easy if I didn't lose consciousness after casting an [Echo] and [Concentrate Spell+] empowered seven-cost [Illusory Double]." Addy blinked at me.

"Right. That's a pretty sudden flow of magic through a medium not accustomed to it. I suppose it is important to know which one of you is the expendable one."

"Addy!" Other Sam and I said in unison.

"There is one easy way to check which one of us is the clone," I noted dryly.

"Just undo the spell. The one which disappears is the clone."

"I would never uncast a fully sentient clone," Other Sam said.

"It's tantamount to murder!"

"And I… well, I'm her! She knows what I know, wants what I want. There doesn't need to be hierarchy when we're on the same page all the time."

"Does this mean you'll find twice as many excuses to blow yourself up?" Addy asked.

"Hey!" Both of us exclaimed. The other Sam squinted at me.

"We're on the same page… most of the time."

"Oh please, don't tell me you don't have daily panic attacks about whether the original is going to make you disappear, like a poof, and then you're gone."

"I don't. It's more of a weekly thing than a daily thing."

"Oh? Oh, good for you." I drew the blankets around me tighter.

"I suppose I'm the double that you offloaded all your mental deficiencies to." Other Sam looked like she'd been slapped.

"Hey! Rude! I wouldn't do that; so uncalled for."

"Ladies, ladies." Both of us looked down, where Addy wiggled in between us.

"Much as I love hearing you two argue with two sets of boobs in my face, this is a problem that needs solving, stat."

"You," she said, jabbing a finger at other Sam, "didn't tell me anything about this when you picked me up. Did you or did you not think about telling me there were two of you?"

"I… wanted you all for myself, for a while at least." she muttered. Other Sam had the good graces to look away in shame.

"I missed you."

"That's cute. But you're now officially twice the woman you were before. Learn to share, don't be selfish." Oh, so she handed me the drinks out of guilt?

"And you!" Addy whirled around to face me.

"Stop second-guessing yourself. You're a fine spider, a fine Custodian, and a fine person in your own right. Don't be afraid to stand out a bit." My protests were choked when she leaned in for a heavy kiss. She drew back, licking her lips.

"... okay, it's sorta freaky how you're both equally good at kissing."

"I bet I can do it better," other Sam said, kissing my… kissing our girlfriend. When she was done, Addy sucked in a gasp, eyes fluttering with heavy lids.

"Mmmh, I dunno. However, maybe some friendly competition would work as a bonding experience. It's like seeing who can shoot the most shuriken drones out of the air consecutively until you miss your shot." Other Sam and I stared at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"What?" Addy asked. Other Sam shook her head.

"Nothing, it's just… here you are, coming back from the Cauldron all war-worn and weary, and the first thing you have to do is cheer us up."

"Now that's selfish," I noted.

"Sam. I'm a medic. Fixing problems is what I do."

"I — you are?" That was new. Then again, I could see it. Addy did have [We'll be fine] for sharing wounds, and wasn't afraid to jump into a line of fire.

"Wow. Tell me more."

"Yeah," other Sam chimed in.

"How was your stay at the Cauldron?"

"Dusty. Dry," Addy deadpanned.

"Not a part of my near future, unless another wizard pops out of the ground and decides to harass you. Mostly, it was a lot of running and teleporting between fires to put out between the frontlines. LT has it easy, having a literal army of independent soldiers he can make and maneuver, even if his build can't do much otherwise. Almost makes me envious." I nodded.

"Oh, yeah, I get that. That's why I let my normal body doubles handle all my chores and annoying business" Both Addy and other Sam gave me unblinking stares, the weight of them making me splutter.

"W-what? If… if I can be in every place at all times, I can do more than just contribute a little bit. And while I can't see through their eyes, if I send a small drone with a camera after them, I can instruct them from across the entire world. It's almost like I've got a clone-focused build!"

"But we're not," other Sam noted.

"We don't have a passive to lighten the mental load or… I have difficulty ordering more than a dozen, and that's if they're in the same place and — oh. Oh, wow, I'm an idiot." The other Sam smacked herself in the face with a groan while Addy just whispered in sheer disbelief.

"You bubbly, beautiful idiot. You're suffering from the mental pressure of running… how many body doubles at the same time?"

"Twenty-eight." I glanced at the little table on my system interface which I was using to keep track of them. Addy took a deep breath.

"Alright. Cut that by half. Then half again. And again, until you start feeling better."

"But—""Sam. Do it for me? I'll let you…" She proceeded to whisper sweet dark promises into my ear.

"We don't have two of those."

"We're Custodians," she said with a blank face.

"We can have one teleported here in minutes."

"Oh. Oooh! Oh. Right, yes. I'll just… cut down on the one-charge ones doing groceries for the Free Poker League. And the two charge ones on standby in HQ in case someone needs a training dummy. And… I think I've got a three-charge one doing accounting work somewhere."

"You had body doubles doing groceries. And you wonder why you're feeling terrible?" Addy shook her head.

"Now, none of those are sapient, right?" I nodded meekly. It only really started getting iffy around the five to six charge range.

"Good. Delete those. Feel any better?" I blinked, rubbing my temple.

"Massively. I don't get the feeling of imminent doom, like the world's about to end any moment anymore." Addy took another deep breath.

"We'll get to that when we get to it."

"Addy? That's not exactly reassuring," I noted.

"You said we had two years time twenty months ago. The purported apocalypse is still four months out." If you encounter this story on Amazon, note that it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

"It might be sooner," Addy grumbled before grabbing both of us by the hems of our shirts and pulling us down until our cheeks were squashed with hers.

"But that can wait a few more hours. Now listen here. I've been rushing from front to front, fighting for weeks on end, for over a year now. I've waited three months for this. We are going to sit down. We are watching Deep Space Nine, season four, episode sixteen. And by the end, I don't want to be able to remember a single thing anybody on that episode said."

"Didn't you already watch that episode three times?" I asked.

"This is going to be a challenge," other Sam pointed out helpfully. Her mind was made up. Watching her six eyes focus entirely on me was sort of terrifying. I didn't feel that sense of imminent doom anymore. It was replaced by a bone-deep knowledge that once again, I was just slightly in over my head. +++ Waking up naked in a rarely visited room in the office to the sound of the everyday goings-on just one room over was a unique sort of terror.

Like being a slug on a sidewalk, watching the sun just crest the horizon. Nobody could see me like this… or the other me. The office gossip would be horrifying.

"Mnfghn," the other Sam said as I separated her from where she was being the big spoon to Addy — who in turn had been the big spoon to me — and dragged the Sam off to the showers. The complex of flattop buildings that we'd bought and refurbished after a convergence event left it smashed to bits once housed a gym. Its showers were left mostly intact. It was a small miracle that no one saw us on our way here.

And now I had the awkward pleasure of getting to look at myself in the nude, except from an outside perspective. The wiry, awkward girl of two years ago was gone completely. In her place was a straightforward, confident face with six eyes, and pronounced fangs, white as bleached ivory and offering contrast on gray skin, as if I was covered by a dusting of ash. The colors shifted ever so slightly here and there, [Of Many Colors] having become an instinctual spell I barely needed to think about using.

Further down, my arms were strongly toned with muscle, muscle which melded around the shoulders into a well-defined back. She had thighs that could guillotine a man, woman, or oxen. A little bit of [Of Many Colors] sanded off the harshest edges on her, leaving her smoother, cuter, and more symmetric than before. Thick muscles didn't look too good in a frilly dress, and neither did the scars. It'd been a while since I lost a life, and they'd begun accumulating in nasty rents and splotches on both of us.

Upon noticing them, the other Sam used her spell to smooth them out, as was matter of course. We had the skill for it. And heck, I'd been removing ugly burn scars for months now, not just because it made me more photogenic (though that played a large part, I'll admit). But when I looked myself in the mirror today and saw the fresh pink scarring of the lizardman's claws on my face, I felt a sudden need to keep them. Because it's a unique signifier. In a weird way, that's understandable. I am the scarred Sam.

She is not. The other Sam is so… smooth. Like the brush of a fluffy pillow. Pleasant. Smooth Sam and Scar Sam. An impeccable duo. The grumbly, awfully tired other Sam mumbled indignantly as I rolled her around under the shower head, inspecting her here and there by accident more than curiosity. Wasn't aware I had a mole there. I can wash my back so easily like this. Convenient.

I hummed happily as I rubbed her in places I knew were hard to reach even with our six arms, delighting in the small noises she rewarded me with. Despite the need to be different, I still saw myself in her — or herself in me — making this self-care routine a delightfully easy and rewarding task. The water seemed to fill me with energy so profound even my other self couldn't help from commenting on it.

"How the heck can you be this chipper this early?"

"I don't know! Is it the 511 points in Body? Is it because I finally have some free space and time to think instead of micromanaging double-digit body doubles? Is it because Addy is finally back, and I get to show her what I've built these past few months?"

"Everything we made."

"Right, yep. We. Shit, do you think it would weird people out if we refer to ourselves as plural?"

"I think they'd be more confused if we didn't at times." She sighed.

"But most of the time, I just want to be an 'I', a 'me', not a 'we'."

"Same here. By the way, have we both tried summoning a soulbound item before?" Smooth Sam flinched.

"I, uh…"" Summon: Bazooka!" My bazooka appeared in my arms, bonking Smooth Sam only slightly on the head. I could summon it, the item bound to my literal soul. Did that mean…?

"Alright then," Smooth Sam said, rubbing her scalp." Summon: Bazooka!" The weapon disappeared and appeared in her hands instead. We both gave each other a look, knowing exactly what was going through each other's thoughts. The items were soulbound to both of us, which either meant that the system couldn't differentiate between our souls, or that when I made my seven-cost copies, I was literally copying my soul down to the mark that bound the bazooka to the both of us.

"You seemed awfully happy there for a moment," Smooth Sam said.

"I get it. There's something relieving about knowing you're the real one." I scrubbed her arms while she sat in the drizzle. She continued after basking for a moment.

"I was thinking about something you said yesterday, about the continuity of consciousness. A person is made up of who they are, and who the world shapes them to be. The moment our experiences diverge, we diverge. It may not look like it, but it feels like we're different people already. And I just wanted to say that I appreciate you seeing it that way too. Y'know, in case I'm the body double."

"Which you're not," I confidently pointed out, tapping my facial scar." I'm the double. The real Sam is more vain than this."

"And the real Sam never had issues getting out of bed early." She snorted.

"We should make proving who's the ideal version of us a competition. See whose name Addy screams more at night."

"We have the same name!" The shower devolved into a giggling fit.

"We're going to have to buy kit fit for two Custodians now, aren't we?" Both of us groaned. Our build may be versatile, but it was entirely dependent on the weapons I could field.

"How will we ever be able to afford this?"

"By making twice as much money." Smooth Sam gave a wicked grin.

"Girl, I've seen our soulcoin account tick up. Convergence events are everywhere, the magical girl business is booming. In this economy, the only thing better than a magical girl is two magical girls."

"Point. Now wash my back too, you lazy bum." We returned from the shower smelling faintly of lavender and mango-maracuja just as Addy blearily blinked herself awake. Smooth Sam and I grinned.

"Welcome back, miss Adelaide, we hope you had a pleasant rest," we said as one. Addy shivered.

"I don't think I can handle two of you talking at the same time."

"We can do more than talk," we said, bending three hands behind our backs and flourishing the other three, as if to offer to grab her hand.

"Care for a shower-and-massage?" That took her a moment to parse.

"I definitely can't handle two of you. What time is it?"

"Almost noon," I said, followed by Smooth Sam.

"You slept for nearly fourteen hours. Which should be physically impossible with your amount of Body."

"Body-focused Custodians can stay up for days. It's my first time sleeping this week." She stretched, popping her back and making a satisfied sound.

"God, how I missed being able to sleep in. What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I love the sound of your voice," I said with a sigh.

"The warmth of being in the same room as you," Smooth Sam said.

"We've got lots to show you."

"And lots to say."

"We've been busy spiders you see, building webs, and so much more." We grabbed her by an arm each and hauled her off.

"Wait, wait, wait, at least let me get dressed first!" We let her get dressed, and then dragged her off. Having two adorable and dashing vampire-spider-girls hanging off her arms proved too much for our dear Addy. After vocalizing the sound of a hot tea kettle, she pushed herself forward, determined to walk on her own two feet instead of being dangled between us. Which was fine, since it let us appreciate her from behind.

"I love the way she's wrapped her wavy hair up into a messy bun," Smooth Sam said.

"And she looks exceedingly good in harem pants."

"They've got some scorch marks, but that only makes her presence more vivid."

"If only it weren't for that stupid t-shirt." I squinted at the goddamn 'dog in me' shirt.

"I hate it. Let's get rid of it."

"You tear it off, I'll get a flamethrower." We shared a high thirty.

"You know, I can hear you both." Addy turned to regard us both.

"You can pry this shirt from my cold, dead body."

"Drats." Addy looked around, taking in the main lounge. The quiet murmur of near and distant people was a pleasant backdrop to the news running on a ceiling-mounted flatscreen further towards the entrance. Something about a newly unveiled telescope, the Oort Cloud, and the discovery of a new comet heading our way. Below the TV, a snack bar was permanently stocked with quick and easy meals.

Every couple minutes, a Custodian grabbed a cinnamon roll, a plate of fruit, or an energy drink with the nutrient density of cooking oil off of it.

"Heya Jeff!" I said, giving one of our cooks a wave.

"Breakfast for three, please."

"Coming, coming." Addy just blinked at the bowl.

"Food. Fresh, cooked food. The League has a cook?"

"Two cooks, associates both, and worth every soulcoin. They prepare healthy, nourishing meals free-of-charge for every meal. You wouldn't believe what Custodians stuff themselves full with when not supervised." Smooth Sam gave Addy a knowing look. We knew all about her sandwich addiction. Addy wanted to protest, but she was interrupted when a plate topped high with three Croque Monsieurs crested by a sunny-side-up egg with runny yolk was slapped on the bar in front of her, plus a side of avocado and tomato salad.

"Oh." Addy blinked, her nose flaring at the smell.

"I understand the appeal." She was already halfway through her second sandwich by the time a question popped into her head.

"How come you don't have eight arms?" she asked in between ham, eggs, and cheese.

"You should've gotten a pair at 450 body."

"I loaned them to Rico," Smooth Sam replied. A moment later, the fairy buzzed through the open air with four arms instead of two, body wrapped around a vial of green sloshing liquid while an irate Clem ran after him, yelling obscenities.

"Every extra pair is an additional mental burden despite [Proprioception Sensors]. Six is manageable, but anything more and they just get in the way. They divide my strength too, which isn't great when handling recoil."

"Uh-huh," Addy said, wiping her mouth.

"And what's the real reason? I chimed in.

"Eight limbs — six arms, two legs — is a spidery number. Spider numbers are happy numbers. Ergo—""They help you channel your emotions, right." Addy gave her healthy salad a glance. Sighing, she attacked it with unenthusiastic fork-jabs.

"I approve of this bar-slash-cook situation. What else you got?" We, that is the Free Poker League, had so much more to show. After breakfast, Addy was given a tour from roof to restroom, to the point that I thought she might be thinking about staying here at the HQ for an extended while. Which, y'know, fair enough, the food was good and honestly, we had the rooms to spare. She piped up as we entered the main office.

"This was empty last time I was here. I see you filled it out."

"We have cubicles!" I said, proudly presenting the greyest, gloomy box with jazz hands.

"Nice?"

"It's a sign of an encroaching service economy," Smooth Sam said with a wise nod.

"Soon enough, nobody will have to work the hard, physically demanding jobs at the magical girl factory or the magical girl mine. Instead they will be magical girl accountants and regional sub managers of public relations."

"... you're making Custodians work in a mine?" Addy asked. Smooth Sam blinked at her.

"It's a joke. I got jokes."

"The cubicles are highly customizable, this is just the standard one," I pointed out, stepping over to present a cubicle filled to the brim with cute animal stickers, a beanbag, and a scratching post.

"They're open-air private rooms for the Free Poker League's signed Custodians and those just passing by. It offers reasonable privacy coupled with the calm ambience of a smoothly oiled system running in the background. And there's one of our Custodians! Magical Girl Hissy Fit, how would you rate your experience with HQ's amenities so far?" The human-sized ball of fuzz on the bean bag curled tighter around itself.

"Fuck off." Smooth Sam cleared her throat.

"You're talking to your boss."

"Oh, apologies. Fuck off ma'am." Hissy Fit shot me a one finger salute. I hit her with six, cementing myself as the eternal victor in all things related to middle fingers and gang signs.

"We embody a low commitment model tied with flat hierarchies. Sometimes we get guest lecturers on various topics, like build-philosophy, group tactics, or how to deal with paparazzi with minimal collateral damage to life, limb, and your image. We have some associates doing volunteer work, some working part or full time to manage our various accounts. It's not much, but we make it work, somehow. Which by the way, is not our official motto."

"What is?" I did a little twirl.

"Shine bright with the magic inside your heart!" Addy stared at me for long enough that I started fidgeting.

"Is that a bit too cringy?" She snorted.

"Sam. You built a magical girl company while I was gone." Her smile turned disbelieving, then confused.

"When did you have the time to learn all this, let alone set it up? You should still be in your fourth or fifth semester at the Academy."

"Oh, I took a few accelerated courses on economics, plus a seminar on how to start a self-sustaining business. And as for Custodian courses at the Academy, I graduated a few months ago."

"How?"

"I have 515 Mind? Hello-o? Addy, your girlfriend is overleveled as heck. I've got as much combat experience as some of the tutors. When I asked Miss BlazeBlue if I could speedrun the rest of BatTac I through V, she said yes if I could beat her."

"And you beat her?"

"I did! We shared drinks afterwards. She was the first to suggest I go all-in on [Illusory double], since it seemed the best way to multiply my strength by literally multiplying me."

"Mostly, it multiplied our snack expenditure," Smooth Sam said.

"At four charge cost, the body doubles start requiring food to upkeep themselves."

"That shouldn't be how it works… except maybe…" Addy's face scrunched up in intense focus. I couldn't take it anymore. I picked her up with a surprised grunt and gave her the biggest six-armed hug that I could.

"I love you, girlfriend."

"Mhm? Love you too." Her focus was unshakable as she opened a screen on her system interface, odd symbols and imagines of magical reagents opening and closing in a staccato beat.

"Oh, she's fun like this," Smooth Sam said.

"Hold her still while I get the permanent marker."

"No need. Now, if the math checks out…" With a flex, Addy squirmed out of my embrace, grabbing little hairy and dusty things out of the air. Moments later, the floor was covered in grass, copper shavings, and odd geometric lines drawn with chalk. In the middle there lay about fifty bags of marshmallows.

"Wait, what math—ow!" She plucked one of my hairs and placed it in the middle of the pentagraph.

"Should be a seven-two-one split…" Addy mumbled something to herself while I took a hesitant step back. She finished whatever she was doing with a scribble on the wall.

"Now. Anticipation, trust, joy!" A poof of smoke filled the hallway between the cubicles. Moments later and I was staring at a misshapen marshmallow-y blob that vaguely resembled me.

"Erk!" It said and immediately exploded into a gooey mess. Slowly, Addy wiped liquified marshmallow gunk out of her eyes.

"That's about the gist of it. Definitely going to need practice with that one. And some better reagents for permanence."

"Addy, w-what was that?" I asked while Smooth Sam took a fingerful of marshmallow from Addy's cheek and tasted it.

"Intricate knowledge of beginner-tier casting methods beamed into my head via a skill called [Ritual Magic], plus some reagents. Wizard magic. I cheated a bit, replacing energy usually gained by some sacrifice with the emotional charge generated by running my ECC with open ports. I wish I could've made a more impressive demonstration, but first-timing spells is always a coin toss." My eyes couldn't decide whether to stare at the magical circle smoldering in our office space, or at my genius of a girlfriend.

"Addy, this is insane. I've never seen a Custodian just… do magic without using a spell."

"I did use a spell. I don't have time to study the intricacies of magic for decades on end. And wizards can do it with fewer reagents, and by miniaturizing the thaumatic network by, say, engraving it on their bones."

"Yes, but that's just knowledge and time. Oh my god. My tanuki is a wizard." Suddenly, Smooth Sam scooped Addy up and nuzzled the top of her face, smearing white marshmallow everywhere.

"I love you."

"I also love you," she said, dangling from her arms and staring at me with a conflicted expression.

"I didn't want to say it, but this body double business is gonna take a bit to get used to. I'm sorry if I make a mistake. I will, probably, so when I do, I ask you to point it out and I'll endeavor to do better." That only got her a second, harder squeeze. By the end of it, she was gasping for air.

"You're stronger than me," Addy said with an uncertain note.

"I've… I've always been the physically stronger one. Of course, you leveled a bunch in the Cauldron."

"Hey, don't be sad. You're physically stronger in your werewolf form."

"And you're probably as strong, if not more so with your big tarantula form. You don't need me to smash a hole in a wall, or hold off a huntsman mimic while you reload, or, or…" The idea seemed to cause her distress. Smooth Sam got some drinks while I guided her to the roof. It was another rest and relaxation area — Custodians really needed way too many of those — with a small grill, some potted palmtrees, and a couple lawn chairs beneath three orange-and-red parasols.

We scooted some chairs together and sat her down between us, staring up at the sun. The sunny day filtered through the fabric in colorful hues.

"We do need you," Smooth Sam said.

"Other me over there especially needs someone who isn't herself to tell her that carrying the entire world on her shoulders is a dumb idea liable to blow up in her face."

"I… I suppose." Addy drew circles over our palms, staring out into the distance.

"I guess we've both changed, huh?"

"Some days, I wish we didn't." Addy sighed.

"Life in the RV was perfect. Remember our first date?"

"Yes," Smooth Sam and I said at the same time. Addy flinched between us before relaxing as we rubbed her shoulders.

"I wish those times were every day. I'm sick of saving a world that doesn't appreciate it." For a moment, neither me nor the other me knew what to say.

"We can't take you on another first date. But we can show you what the high level Custodians do for entertainment around here."

"Does it involve massages? I feel like I could go for a massage."

"Better." I leaned over, a shiver running down her back as my lips brushed her ear.

"Say, Addy, what do you think of being a villain for a day?"