Chương 22: The Painful Aftermath.

"Mom, I- I want to take the test." The weak voice sounded even more frail coming from me.

"What?" She looked down at me. She had always been a giant, but the more time passed, the more I couldn't help but think my mother wasn't that different from me after all. Her face was weathered and worn. Mostly frown lines covered a face I knew most people would have thought was beautiful at some point. I still thought it was beautiful. The frown lines were probably my fault.

"I-I just think I'm ready." I gestured down and around myself.

"I've read- I've read everything it asked me to. And I-I think I get it." My mother laughed. The kind of laugh that meant a person was laughing at you, rather than with you. She rarely hit me. I'd rather she do that more often than laugh at me.

"I'm serious." I tried to cut through that laughter.

"I-I really think I can do it and- and it's mandatory to take it, isn't it?" She shook her head and glared down at me.

"You're only fifteen. Just go back to your room." I ignored the implicit assumption in her question. After all this time, it barely even stung anymore.

"I r-really think I can pass." She didn't answer. Her eyes spoke for her anyway. Maybe I was being too presumptuous. My mother was a famous researcher and one of the architects of the way the world works today. To her, I no doubt looked like an insect she only noticed when it dared bite her foot. She had much more important things to worry about than the ravings of a fool daughter. Why had I thought just some studying could have made her look at me? Fine. I would make her look at me. I went back to my room.

To the silence, I was far more comfortable with. White, blinding light pierced my eyes. I blinked. Flinched. The light slowly faded. Three faces materialized out of that light. Two concerned-looking men, one equally concerned-looking woman. Their hands all glowed with a soothing green light.

"She's awake." The woman mumbled, stepping back. The other two did too. The glows faded, and the pain came.

"Fuck." I hissed. Every inch of me hurt. I tried to move. I couldn't move an inch. Every part of me was bound to the bedframe behind me. All I could do was try to reach for my Gift. Even channeling mana stung. My Gift wasn't there. Or rather, I could feel the knobs; they were just distant. I tried reaching for them anyway, my mental fingers never finding purchase. Damn it.

"Lady Esra, you're awake." That was Anias' voice, and it made me turn my head just enough to look at her. I would have flinched if I could have moved. Anias looked like she'd seen better days. One of her arms was in a sling, and I counted two bandages just on her face. She stepped forward, and there was a slight limp to it I couldn't help but notice.

"Duly noted," I muttered. At least my tongue was surprisingly wet. I tried to lie as still as I could. It still ached. Still throbbed. It was almost manageable.

"Now please, if you three would," Anias told the three healers.

"I would like to speak to My Lady alone." The three bowed their heads. I couldn't see them leave, but a door opened and then closed.

"Anias, are you okay?" I asked into the silence. Anias stepped closer.

"I am quite a bit better than you are, My Lady."

"That bad?" Anias' gaze hardened.

"My Lady, you should have died." She took a deep breath.

"What did you do?!" It was rare to see Anias angry, especially at me.

"I kept us alive," I muttered. I was still trying to parse through the memories of what had happened. They all came to me slowly, in jumbled blurs. One memory formed ahead of all of the others.

"Damian? Is he okay?"

"He made it out better than all of us." Anias consoled.

"He's just fine. He's spent quite a few hours in this room, waiting for you to wake up. We had to throw him out of the room to get some rest." Ah. That did sound like him. It seemed like Anias was giving me room to ask her questions, though she doubtless had a hundred of her own.

"Who- who were they?" That seemed the most obvious.

"We don't know," Anias murmured.

"Save for the one that you…killed, we don't know. The city guard has the body of that one, and we're sending for someone more specialized for this task." Right. I'd killed someone, hadn't I? Perhaps it hadn't truly been me at the time, but I had done it all the same. I didn't feel anything. Wait.

"Anias, was there…a sword by my side? When they found me?"

"No?" Anias looked confused.

"The safe-room had the Godblade, but aside from that, there were no swords there. That, and all of the other items there were stolen." Stolen, huh? That didn't quite make sense. It also didn't explain the pinprick at the back of my mind. I had the strangest feeling I knew what that was.

"I see," I said finally. That more or less summed up the immediate questions. Everything else I could figure out later. Oh. There was one question on my mind.

"Is Sere okay? I must have been unconscious for a while. I hope she's well." Anias looked unreadable.

"She's just fine, My Lady. You were out for one week, and she did come by a few times when she thought I wasn't paying attention." She did? That did make me feel a little better almost immediately. Anias still looked unreadable.

"What?'

"My Lady, you haven't asked about your father?" Oh.

"How is he?" I finally asked. The thought hadn't even occurred to me. Duke Adrian was a celebrated war hero. From my light research, he was one of the most powerful men in this entire Kingdom. I hadn't thought anything could happen to him. Then again, he had been fighting a Hero. Anias seemed to deflate from the question. Her shoulders sagged, and she drew in on herself.

"He's alive." She said, finally.

"Anias?" My tone was a little sharper this time.

"He's…drained in some way." Her voice was distant.

"Healing magic doesn't seem to work, no matter who tries. The best healers in the city haven't been able to do anything. He hasn't woken up yet, my lady." Anias bit her lower lip.

"It's unclear if he ever will." It was hard to breathe. Hard to think. This was the absolute last thing I had expected to hear. Something stabbed right through my chest. I didn't know why I felt this way. Maybe the feeling didn't come from me, but from the girl this body had belonged to.

"My Lady, so long as he is alive, there is hope," Anias said gently.

"There are people in this world whose Gifts can work miracles. Whose wills can overpower even a Hero." That was some reassurance, even if it was a bit flimsy. Maybe Anias was right. I didn't know enough. The worst part was that I couldn't even wipe the tears away. My arms were as bound as the rest of me. I could just about move my wrist, for all the good that would do. The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation. The tears were gone.

I saw a few droplets move away, covered in purple light.

"Thanks." Anias only nodded.

"My Lady, I don't wish to burden you any further but-""Please, Anias." I took a deep breath and steeled myself.

"I am not so flimsy as that." Anias took a deep breath.

"Now that Lord Adrian is indisposed, many of the tasks of running the manor will fall on you." She looked apologetic.

"Estovan and I can certainly handle many of them, but there are tasks that only someone from House Veyne can attend to." That was just what I had expected.

"Alright. I assume you're saying this because one of these tasks awaits me right now." Anias looked even more apologetic.

"A Captain from the City Guard wishes to speak to you, regarding what happened and what you saw. I'm afraid it's quite urgent."

"If he's here, then feel free to send him in." Anias looked a little relieved. She moved away. The door opened and closed. Reality hadn't quite set in yet for me. It felt like I was moving on some odd autopilot. So many things had come crashing down all at once. How was I even supposed to do something like run a Noble House?!

"Breathe, Esra." I took in a very deep breath, one that very much hurt. I slowly let it out. The door opened again. There were more footsteps.

"Lady Veyne? I apologize for disturbing you when you're recovering." A gruff voice said.

"Do not worry. Though I do ask you to help me up." It took a second before I heard more footsteps. I saw hands. Pain came. I grit my teeth as the man helped prop me up on a pillow, enough that I could finally see something that wasn't the ceiling. He was a short man, yet something about him gave off an odd sense of authority. He covered what must have been a balding head with an oversized cap. The bags under his eyes really drew my attention.

It looked like he hadn't had a good night's rest in a very, very long time.

"My name is Willem Cross, My Lady." He gave me a small bow.

"I would like to thank your Ladysh-""Please." I cut in.

"I do not care for formality, especially right now. Speak freely." He nodded reluctantly, scratched his beard.

"Then, My Lady, tell me what happened. I have your maid's version of events; I do not have yours." I had expected this much from the moment Anias had made any mention of the City Guard. I gave the man a reasonably accurate retelling of events, blurring things a bit when I thought appropriate. Instead of me doing whatever it was I did against the Fox Mask, it was simply him being very overconfident in his Gift, allowing me to just barely get a sneak attack off on him when he least expected it.

My injuries were much harder to explain. I did have to reveal my 'Pain Nullification' Gift, at which point everything seemed to click for him. Willem still looked horrified, but at least he wouldn't ask me any questions he shouldn't.

"And was there anyone else there?" He finally asked when I was done.

"Pardon?" He looked briefly uncomfortable as he gestured towards me.

"Your injuries were- well, in all my years I haven't seen anyone in as bad a state as you were, My Lady." He shook his head.

"You should have died long before anyone managed to get to you. Even then, the healers say there was something odd about you that made the healing take better."

"There was someone else there, I think," I said finally. I hadn't mentioned this part yet, though I supposed there was no harm in it.

"There was…a woman? I don't remember much, but I think she and…the other man weren't exactly together. It's all a little blurry if I'm being honest." I shook my head, grunted.

"That's quite all right, My Lady." The man said hurriedly.

"There's no need to strain yourself." I nodded weakly. This wasn't quite a lie. My memories really were a bit jumbled.

"Thank you for bearing with me, Lady Veyne." He said, finally.

"This will be a big help. I will see that the official record reflects everything you have told me." He bowed his head, moved to walk away. He hadn't bought my lie as well as I'd thought. Oh well. It wasn't like I could come up with anything better given the circumstances.

"One moment." He turned mid-step.

"Yes?"

"I do hope that if the City Guard turns up information, they will bring it to House Veyne?" He nodded again and gave a small bow.

"Of course." I nodded and let the man leave.

"Phew," I grumbled to myself. It wasn't like I'd done anything terrible. Even the man I'd killed had been some kind of criminal, and everything I'd done had been self-defense. It still made me a little nervous.

"Now then." There had been something bothering me from the moment I'd woken up. An itch at the back of my mind. It was the strangest thing, almost like the sensation of being watched but somehow firmer. Like I knew I was being watched without a doubt, and yet had to ignore it. A part of me suspected what it was. A part of me very much wished I were wrong. I reached out with mental fingers. It was a knot in my mind, one that I unraveled with a small mental pull. Nothing happened.

"Well, that was-" Weight. It settled in my palm so suddenly that my entire body shivered. My fingers closed around the heavy shape. I didn't need to look to know what it was. It was the Godblade. It had gone back to being a rusted trinket, only tiny fragments of the pale steel sticking out from beneath the disrepair. The red gemstone was dull, lifeless.

"Why the fuck are you here?" I stared at the blade. It didn't answer. I'd half expected that voice in my head again, only to find nothing. It would raise a lot of questions if someone found me with this. I suppose with all the rust, maybe it wouldn't be immediately recognized, but it was still a risk I didn't especially like.

"Aren't you clingy," I grumbled to myself. The door opened. I froze. Shit. Shit. How was I going t- The weight was just gone. I stared down at my hand in disbelief, but there really was nothing there now. There was no time to think about it.

"You're awake! Finally." I looked up to see Damian hurriedly stepping forward, led by Anias. Anias had been right, Damian really did look the same, as if nothing had happened at all. I tried very hard not to envy him.

"Indeed, I am." I glanced down at myself.

"Though I can't say I particularly like being awake in this state." He just grinned, pulled up a chair, and sat next to me.

"How are you feeling? They said that y-" I glared at him before looking at Anias.

"If all everyone is going to do is ask me how I am, then please don't let them in here." I glanced back at Damian, softer this time.

"I'm alright. That masked asshole sure tried his best to make sure I wasn't, though." Damian nodded, his face twisting.

"That's- that's my fault. I swore to protect you, but I couldn't when it came down to it. I didn't really do much of anything."

"Damian," I said slowly.

"That wasn't someone we were supposed to be able to do anything against. We got lucky. You didn't fail me, and I didn't fail you. There was just nothing we could do." That was the honest truth of it. I did hope he could see that.

"But you killed him." Damian protested.

"I don't know how, but you did! I should have been able to hel-""He let down his guard." I cut him off gently.

"Maybe he turned off his Gift because he thought I was too hurt to do anything. Then with my Gift…." I shrugged. Something inside me twisted at the lie, even if it was the same explanation I'd given to the Guard Captain before. Liar. Damian only slowly nodded.

"It doesn't make me feel better. To know that we only survived because of a stroke of fate like that."

"It doesn't make me feel good either." There was nothing more to say. Or at least, nothing that could be said right now.

"Come on, dear. She won't bite." I glanced over at Anias, who was looking towards the door. As soon as my gaze went there, I saw a mop of blond hair vanish behind the doorframe.

"She really won't," Anias said again, her voice gentler than I'd ever heard it.

"Come on, Sere." Ah. A few seconds passed, and Anias looked to call out again before Sere stepped back into view. The girl was dressed in a plain white dress that was clearly a little too big for her, given the way it trailed after her. My eyes were drawn to her face. Her cheeks looked fuller than I remembered. There was only one word to describe the way she looked at me: trepidation.

"Hey, I don't bite," I said sweetly.

"Besides, I don't think I could right now anyway." She slowly approached me, tilted her head, and stared at some of the bandages that poked through the shift I was wearing. I thought it'd end at that, but she reached out and gingerly touched my wrist.

"That only stings a little." She hurriedly pulled her finger back, staring at me. Her face was unreadable.

"I did say I'd get hurt more, didn't I?" I glanced down at myself.

"Didn't quite mean to get hurt this much, though." She nodded slowly, pulled up a chair right next to Damian, and sat back down. Honestly, it was a lot more than I'd expected, and I was happy for it. That didn't mean I could put off what I knew I needed to do right now.

"Anias, can I move? If I had to." I asked the woman. I tried reaching for my Gift again. It was only slightly less faint than it'd been when I'd woken up.

"My Lady, I really suggest that you stay like this for a few days at the very least."

"It'll only be for a few minutes," I told her. I tried to sound as reassuring as I could manage. She sighed deeply.

"If you absolutely have to, then yes. It will put you to sleep soon after, however."

"Good, seeing as I do need my rest anyway."

"Very well." Anias made to leave, before pausing.

"My Lady, may I ask what you plan to do?" There was only one answer. I grit my teeth. Steadied myself. I did hope that whatever medicine Anias was going to give me actually worked like she said.

"I need to see my Father." Anias had neither lied nor exaggerated. The tea she brewed for me had made most of the lingering pains and aches disappear in the span of an hour. They left me with an odd kind of 'floaty' sensation that made moving hard. Hard was quite the improvement over impossible, so I didn't mind.

"My Lady, please don't take long," Anias said, walking in front of me.

"Your healing can only begin when you're in bed. This is a pause, nothing more."

"I know, Anias." I said, perhaps a little too tersely.

"Thank you for worrying about me."

"It is my duty, My Lady." Anias led me to my father's chambers. We had left Damian and Sere behind. Anias stopped in front of a set of ornate doors, reached out and opened it.

"I must warn you, My Lady. His condition is…."

"I've prepared myself for the worst. Give me a few minutes alone. See to it that I'm not disturbed." I stepped inside, and Anias closed the door behind me. The sense of wrongness hit me almost immediately. The air was oddly stale, lighter than it should have been. I looked towards the bed. Anias had tried to prepare me, but there was little that could have prepared me for what I saw now. Duke Adrian, the hulking figure of a man I remembered, was now… an emaciated husk.

He looked smaller than he had before, his taut and muscular body now little more than skin and bones. His face was pale, his cheeks sunken in. Each breath he took came in a small rasp. My legs wobbled. I had to catch myself from falling down.

"I-I see." Some part of me had hoped that Anias had been exaggerating. That I'd come here and find that my father wasn't in that terrible a state. It had been a foolish hope. Tears came, and this time I could wipe them away. I didn't. What was this pain in my chest, for a man I never knew? Maybe this was Esra body reacting, the real one.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Why did I say it? It wasn't like any of this was my fault.

"If I'd known…." I trailed off. Right. That's why I felt this way. Duke Adrian fought that Hero to protect me. To protect the girl he thought was Esra Veyne. Otherwise, I had no doubt he wouldn't have fought a Hero at all. Now…now he was like this. How could I not feel guilty over that?

"I'll- I'll try and repay the favor," I murmured.

"If you do wake up. When you do wake up." I corrected.

"You'll see that House Veyne hasn't fallen. I owe you that much, at least." My fists clenched. A whisper echoed in my mind, impossible to miss in the silence. Vengeance.