Chương 39: The Jar
Reincarnated As A Horny Single-Celled Organism [Adventure | LitRPG | Comedy] · DuncanSpice · 51 chương · ~13 phút đọc · Tạo 10/08/2026
Andy found Auri over next to Barnacle's rock. She looked over at him and her mouth slowly fell open.
"Why are you being hugged by vines and what appear to be dirty bags?"
"Oh this? These are my B. A. L. L. S." Andy said with such a simple naivety that even Auri almost believed it. Almost" You are utterly and completely ridiculous." the fox sent." How do you even plan on making this work?"
"Watch and learn." Andy wandered over to Barnacle.
"Hey Barnacle. Hey buddy. We're going on a trip. Would you like to come with us?" Barnacle filtered. Andy chose to interpret that as a yes.
"Excellent." Using one of the vines, he retrieved the jar. He'd had Georgina acquire the largest glass container she could find. In this case she'd managed to locate something resembling an industrial pickle jar. It was enormous. The thick glass vessel had a mouth wide enough to fit Andy's entire head inside and was sealed with a cork nearly the size of a loaf of bread. The vine removed the cork with a dramatic flourish. He carefully lowered the jar into the water beside Barnacle's rock, angling the mouth upward.
"Alright buddy. Your turn." Barnacle filtered. Nothing happened. Several seconds passed and nothing continued to happen." Your demonstration leaves me faint with wonder." Auri sent her impression dripping with sarcasm.
"Patience." Nothing happened." Andy."
"Patience."" Andy."
"Patience."" Andy!"
"Patience!" The water around Barnacle shifted slightly. The crustacean detached from his rock. Auri blinked." Oh." Auri continued to watch as Barnacle floated through the opening and settled inside of the glass container. He occupied roughly the bottom third of the jar. The jar wobbled. For several moments nobody spoke. Barnacle filtered. Andy grinned.
"Success!" His unoccupied vine pumped upward in celebration. The dirt filled bags bounced enthusiastically against his sides. Auri sighed." Do you really have to celebrate with your B. A. L. L. S?"
"Yeah, of course. My B. A. L. L. S are a marvel of Life energy and Science."
"Have you gotten so bored of horn jokes that you named these balls on purpose." This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
"Not balls. B. A. L. L. S."
"That's what I said."
"No, you said balls. This is B. A. L. L. S. All capital letters. It's an acronym."
"They sound the same."
"Yeah, but it's important for my book." Auri stared at Andy, her tail wrapped around her front paws flicking in irritation. A clink from the jar drew their attention.
"Oh, he must be ready to go. Come on Gustave, it's time to head out." Gustave, who was circling overhead, dropped in altitude." Miss Georgina gave me the directions for where we are headed. She has to go the long way around because of the density of the Life Nexus and its relation to where she needed to go. She said," Gustave's impression took on a higher pitch, 'You tell that loopy horse to stay out of trouble for three days. Can you manage that?'"" Loopy horse!?"" I'm only the messenger."
Andy lifted Barnacle in his jar carefully from the stream. His vine placed the cork on and carefully held it securely at his front right shoulder.
"Those B. A. L. L. S. are quite adequate Andrew. Whoever would have guessed they'd be so useful."
"Thank you Gustave." Andy said tightly while casting a glare at Auri. The party of four began their journey south toward the mythic council. The journey was rather uneventful and when they crested the final hill from Georgina's directions they were super surprised to see a very unassuming cave mouth at the bottom of a cliff face. The inside of the cave looked exactly like a save should. Damp stone, dripping stalactites and the smell of minerals and old water.
Nothing about it suggested that representatives from across the world gathered here to discuss matters of any importance let alone global importance. Andy frowned.
"Are you sure you took us the correct direction?" Andy sent." I am quite sure. This is where Georgina said it would be." Auri continued walking toward the back of the cave, " Come on, I think I see the way." At the back of the cave Auri hesitated and then she stepped one foot through the cave wall. She stepped through it disappearing into the cave wall while Andy and Gustave watched in curiosity." It's an illusory wall." Auri sent. Andy stepped through the wall and nearly dropped Barnacle.
The chamber beyond was enormous. It opened into a large circular room with vaulted ceilings. There were seats arranged along the right half of the curved wall like a tiered amphitheater that descended toward a central floor. The central floor held a stage like stand and was illuminated by magical balls of light. He looked on in awe at the majesty of the grand chamber. Behind the stage several closed doors stood.
"Ah. Right on schedule." Came a low rumbling voice that reminded Andy of a rolling furnace. The voice was attached to a humanoid form. He sat in the front row, dead center and even sitting it was apparent how tall he was. It wasn't just tall, this person was built like a fortress. He was broad and the color of mocha. Dark scales lined his joints and his temples. His eyes were vertical-pupiled and the color of molten copper. Andy had absolutely no idea what this mountain of a man was. Lizard? Dragon?
Some sort of mountain accountant? Mountain Accountant. Whatever the answer, Andy was fairly certain he could bench-press a horse.
"I am Kesseroth," the gravelly voice continued.
"I appreciate your promptness at our behest. I understand it was with unfortunate timing and could seem to be less of a request than… a command. For that I do apologize. The world, it seems, is deciding to change." He paused taking in the group.
"Four of you? I had only been told to expect–Oh yes. Good to see you, my old friend. Let's do catch up later. Back to business at hand–" Andy and Auri exchanged looks. Auri sent a message to Andy and Gustave, " Who is he talking to? Gustave, do you know him?"
"Not I." Gustave confirmed.
"Barnacle?" She guessed. Barnacle filtered. Andy snorted "Auri, don't be silly." Kesseroth winked at Andy.
"Oh, I think you must have me mistaken for someone else. I don't believe we've met."
"Don't worry. I wasn't referring to you," Kesseroth said simply before continuing, "-Welcome to the Mythic Council. This is a place where a leader from each sect of Sophonts can meet to discuss global political issues, local issues, or to continue to build relations. We are here today to discuss the Life Nexus which has appeared on your land, Lady Auriana." Kesseroth folded his massive hands. At the end of each finger was a dark sharp fingernail.
"More specifically, we are here to discuss the future of the Life Nexus. How it came to be, and what else may be occurring within our world now that it has." The chamber went silent. Andy immediately did not like where this was headed.

Giữ khẩu khí thanh khiết — không văn tục, không phá chính trị.
Nhập môn