Chương 136: Chapter 132

Of course Wade wouldn't be normal or reasonable when it came to saving even a single dollar.

"It's perfectly normal and reasonable to end up using caffeine pills over regular coffee." Wade double downed. Leon just kept laughing as Wade went through a list of reasons on why caffeine pills made sense. As he expected, the majority of Wade's point did include a dollar sign in there somewhere.

"Okey, okey," Leon waved a placating hand out, then snatched it back to himself when Bael growled at him.

"Well, we having problem if there is no coffee here. Quest says to drink full cup of coffee for credit. It saying nothing about pills." There were more sounds of potential destruction coming from the living room, and Leon gave a sly glance back at Wade.

"But… maybe is best we not using pills, da?" That Demoness might actually start bouncing off the walls if she was given pure concentrated caffeine. Leon didn't know her too well, but he had a gut feeling about this.

"So, you knowing where to get cup around here? Is your neighborhood, am sure you have plenty of options out here. Is downtown area, must be many coffee shops open even at this hour." Wade's head ran the numbers, triangulated the nearest source of caffeine in a cup, filtered it by price-point, excluded some results, and came to a conclusion: "Put on a shirt and some pants, we're going out to my old gas station and getting a can of cheapo coffee and a free cardboard cup to pour it in." Leon started laughing again.

After he finally settled down, he tried addressing the other issue: "So, just letting me win quest then? What is the catch?"

"Negligible leveling experience." Wade said, already opening his drawer to get a new collared shirt on. Going to the gas station with mildly wet pants was fine. A bloody shirt at this hour would get him kicked out the door to handle his drug haggling the next block over, behind the Denny's dumpers like any respectable professional would. Leon was currently level 7. Which meant 10% of current level for the negligible tier of experience. All for handing Medy caffeine.

"It's one percent experience for me right now. But that's because I out-leveled it. You haven't yet." Zero reason not to get the easy wins while they could. And it couldn't be that bad, right? Bael was more alert now, but mainly because his charge was currently getting dressed to go outside.

"You're planning on walking alone with this one, unguarded?" Too many of the prior conversation had English words sprinkled all over, like 'gas station' and 'coffee' - he had no idea what the mortals had been discussing, but now it seemed to involve leaving.

"Yeah, just a ten minute walk from here is a store that I work at. Used to work at, might as well let them know I'm turning my apron in come to think of it." Wade grabbed his gas station uniform, "Anyhow, Leon and I are going on a quick fetch quest, I'll fill him on the rest of everything while we walk, and we'll be back in no time."

"We fought a shapeshifter, a skilled one." Bael said, eyes looking over to Leon.

"Would it not be natural for it to make another attempt with better acting? You survived the trip to this world, why wouldn't it? Fae are persistent predators of mortal kind, I've seen stranger things happen around their kind."

"There's fairies in Azdrial?" Wade asked. And then realized of course there would be.

"Consider yourself lucky you haven't met any yet." Bael warned.

"Their reputation is well earned." New Fleeting Quest: Meet and Greet - Speak to any Greater Neutral Essence in person, and survive to the end of the round. Rewards: Three storefront coins. Storefront progression. Well, that was a tad bit ominous to Wade's taste. Just speaking hello and then leaving was worth three storefront coins. He decided he'd put that quest into the 'Don't complete unless there's a good chance of success' bucket.

Also, Wade probably wasn't the first mortal Bael had met that thought everything was perfectly okay and safe when it really wasn't, and his experience likely wanted to tip to the side of caution. Leon gave a slight cough, "Then, how about you coming with us? I learned that demonkind can also change shapes. So you making yourself slimmer, we put on coat and hat. Then you can keep eye on me whole time."

"If this is an attempt to make me believe you know nothing of shapeshifting, it's a fairly poor one." Bael answered.

"He really is Leon though." Wade said, deciding he would just be as direct as possible.

"The actual shapeshifter was permanently killed. My System said so directly to me. It can't lie and it's omnipotent. Game things." As in the Nathir assassin had been permanently eliminated from the game. Wade wasn't completely certain that meant equally dead or not. Bael still wasn't understanding everything about this primordial game the mortals here were playing, but he had seen it's power first hand in the dodge movements of Wade. If the human equally confirmed the rest, then who was he to argue?

"See?" Leon grinned.

"Is confirmed then. But, as gesture of good faith, I still inviting you to come with us. Get to see world a little outside. Will be fun."

"Err, how much of you can you shift?" Wade asked, looking him over.

"Leon also wasn't lying, we don't usually have shapeshifters on Earth." Although some people were extremely skilled with makeup. But that wasn't quite the same as outright shapeshifting. Bael looked over to Leon, gave a quick snort, then looked back to Wade.

"Demons are only partial shifters, we are not like our Fae cousins. I can change my frame and size, within limits. The slimmest I could make myself appear would still be larger than yourself." He looked behind himself at his tail and then back down to his hooves.

"Other things are permanent. Hooves and tail don't change. But it has some give. Length, fur color, thickness. Amount of hair on the tip." The tail flicked, slapping on the carpet like an upset cat's would.

"Small adjustments. Same with most of my features. Horns. Nose. Eyes. I'm certain you understand the rest." It was like a more detailed video game character slider, as Wade thought it through.

"But, sounds like we can't get you to slip by unnoticed on Earth. Not unless we dress you up as someone similar."

"You thinking who I thinking of?" Leon hummed, hand rubbing the stubble on his chin. Wade shrugged.

"You know any other character out there that's a giant buff demon? We can shave his two horns down, and he can swap his fur to red, right?"

"The fur will be problem. You not capable of having skin, da?" Bael shook his head.

"In the same way Medy is unable to grow fur herself beyond what's on her head. I can have my horns appear cut down however."

"We'll workshop a good cover for you. There's got to be options." Wade muttered. There was a dull thump of the carpet absorbing the damage outside in the living room, followed by pure silence. Then the sounds of muffled laughing and an animated jaw clicking along together. Wade narrowed his eyes. Those two were up to something. Leon was already putting on his coat, picking up his wallet and items off his side of the room by his sleeping bag. He opened the door up and Wade saw what had fallen on the ground.

Or rather who.

"Oh, Wade. Hi! Sorry, Eri and I were spinning in circles and my hooves caught on the carpet a bit." She lifted one leg and shook a small hoof at the tip.

"They work better on fully flat surfaces, you know?" She got back up on both hooves, all the while speaking the entire time.

"Your rug flooring here is very soft, barely felt anything! Was it made for that kind of thing in mind? Are Earth humans more prone to falling down?" A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation. … And he was about to feed her the very elixir of productivity itself. Wade had a sudden and unexplainable ominous feeling for his security deposit.

'Sneaking' past Medy was the harder part compared to Bael.

"I'll be good, I swear! I'll follow the dress codes here, I like the clothing here better anyhow, I won't be a bother to anyone! I'll blend right in, nobody will ever know I'm there!"

"You can't shrink your horns more than this, right?" Wade asked.

"No, I'm not a Satyr." She admitted.

"Fiends can't really manipulate their horns all too well. I mean, we can, a little, but nowhere near how well Bael could. They're more like nails to us, you know?" They currently looked like two straight sharp black horns, coming directly off her head. Far thinner than Bael's own set, but clearly horns.

"Those will stick out." Wade said.

"Remember, Earth is only humans. Nobody has horns here." She wasn't giving up this easily. Her eyes scanned the room real quick, straight for her newest friend and moral support. Eri clicked his jaw. Then pointed one finger at Leon. He knew how to delegate tasks.

"Okey, okey…" Leon chuckled, then turned to Wade.

"I have idea. How about we bringing them all together?"

"What? Leon, that's the opposite of subtility."

"No so much. Single Demon walking around, questions get asked. But you bring whole group, and now is normal. Random friends going to event. Say costume party rave."

"Yeah! What he said! We'll be in costumes!" Medy immediately jumped into action.

"You have no idea what costumes mean in this context." Wade tried, for all the good that would do. But Medy had seen a chance to walk out that door and she wouldn't stop unless Hell itself dragged her back. Bael was quite happy with this alternative plan, it allowed him to keep another eye on his charge.

Wade's wardrobe was rather sparse, and absolutely wouldn't fit the giant, but Leon had packed quite a few things, and Bael could shapeshift down into roughly a size larger than Leon's current clothing were made for. It was fortunate most of these shirts could stretch. There was only one problem left.

"We don't have anything to fit Medy." Wade muttered at the collected gang here that outvoted him three to one. He debated for a single moment, looking over slightly to the staircase leading up to Ann's loft and unused clothing. His sister likely wouldn't mind the ransacking given the situation, but Wade still wanted the entire place to feel like how she'd left it. It would help her readjust to finding out several years had passed. But they did have magic now. Actual magic.

Maybe there was something more they could do to help Ann acclimate. At least, after she was healed. Wade simply had to practice how to heal correctly, this wasn't something he wanted to go into without preparing. Speaking of healing, he blinked, remembering old wounds that the System had plastered over with his increased vitality and partial healing.

"Oh hell yeah! That's right!" The two demons looked him over, worried about the mention of hell.

"Not you two, I just realized I'm finally getting rid of something that's been a pain in my ass for years now." His extra vitality, strength and other System granted boons had slowly covered up his old pains to the point they remained a distant ache in the background, as if soothed over with a few painkillers worth of pills. It only got in his way lately after he'd run around for too long, or exerted himself. The Water Mastery boots with their stamina regeneration perk had kept him pretty far from that point too.

He opened up his debuffs, looked through and found the final two culprits he could handle: Chronic Cervicalgia - Pinched nerve within the spine. Causes pain on movement. Decreases vitality. Chronic Sciatica - Pinched nerve within the hip flexors. Causes pain on movement. Decreases vitality. He'd healed his eye already by himself, but his resources were limited. He could only heal as long as he had mana potions from the mage bundle.

Which were in short supply given he'd pawned most of them off to Zin for well used gear. But he had someone else here who was a walking breathing catalyst. Within certain metaphorical definitions of breathing. And from what he learned last round, Eri would start each round at full health, and return back home to Earth equally restored back to full. Which meant unlimited mana. Eri clicked his jaw, detecting Wade was thinking something, and it involved him in some way.

Two skeletal hands reached for his looted archanonaught helmet, defensively.

"Hey buddy," Wade started, "Think you could finish the healing session for my neck and leg pain?" That was perfectly acceptable to the skeleton, who lowered his hands away from his new hat. Wade smiled, "Leon, can you get these two into some kind of outfits that'll make sense out there while Eri and I handle something?"

"Da, leave it to me. I have good ideas."

The process of healing Wade's leg and neck pain was not done in any way that Wade had envisioned. Perhaps in round one, he would have found a priest's staff, learned the arts of healing, and in the sanctum of his own home, held that staff up and cast greater level 20 healing, lighting up the entire room, shining even through the blinds, and causing the neighbors in the apartment complex to start asking questions. Or something of similar cosmic importance.

Instead he was sitting down on a random pulled out kitchen chair, watching as two demons and a Russian ransacked his wardrobe in order to dress up said demons into business formal dressing. Or at least the most formal looking items they had on hand. That was the best plan they'd come up with. A rather obscure game that dressed demons up in business suits and was somewhat well known in conventions. It did have a very fitting name given what the duo here had just escaped.

All the while Wade's phone was currently kidnapped and set at the top of a cabinet to keep playing electronic dance music, since one particular Skeleton didn't want to do anything without style and this was his condition for the assist. Medy had already reshaped herself to fit into Wade's nicest suit, putting it over a red collared shirt complete with a black tie and now occupied admiring herself in the mirror.

She seemed very excited with the fit, playing around with filling out different proportions for fun just to see how the fabric handled it. The idea that she'd be going outside real soon had her occasionally start bouncing in place like a possessed rabbit. And they were about to feed her caffeine. Bael was far more calm and collected, giving Leon very deadpan expressions and zero opinions on if he liked anything handed over or not. It was clothing. It was needed to walk outside.

And he wasn't required to speak to anyone out there yet. Good enough for him. There was a single white collared shirt that Leon had packed by pure chance, and it was doing the heavy lifting for the demon's current look. At least until they stopped by a shop to get some additional wardrobe items. And in all this chaos, Wade's holy healer was an undead skeleton, currently examining the ring of healing and how it rattled against his thin fingers. Like a doctor would inspect his surgical knife.

Jason had been fully healed by Eri's treatment, all that was left was daily muscle training and he'd be back on his feet. Eri had given Wade a quick treatment before he'd left last round, enough to cover almost all his pain, but Wade hadn't wanted to risk potentially hurting Eri in the long term, they had to know if Eri would be healed back to full on swapping in and out of Azdrial.

As it turned out, the System said it would provide a fully restored minion, and it intended to follow that contract faithfully each jump. Which meant it was now Wade's turn for full guilt-free healing. Eri clicked his jaw, satisfied with the ring. Then in one move, he slapped it onto Wade's neck and opened his mouth wide as if he were chanting some holy hymn, head looking up, other arm dramatically up. Wade could feel it in his neck. Something like mana, spreading outwards over his tired muscles.

Flushing out toxins, healing damaged fiber, and then finding where the pinched disks were with lazy interest, flowing into it all. The mana bar on his side slowly started rising up. The healing was happening.

"Wade," Medy coughed in her hand, about half a minute into the process.

"Do these pants make my butt look fat?"

"I already heard Leon baiting you into saying that," Wade deadpanned back from his chair, holding his current posture as Eri continued the healing.

"You aren't fooling anyone." Leon wasn't sorry, of course. The Russian just chuckled to himself as he finished knotting up Bael's black tie. That Demon gave a very mild grunt, which was as close as he was willing to say thanks.

"Yeah but my tail's feeling a little smooshed in there." Medy insisted.

"It's like keeping an arm inside your shirt, you know? You sure I can't just cut a little bitty hole?"

"Cosplay tech is pretty good these days, but a fully prehensile tail is outside what we can do. More importantly, don't cut a hole in my goddamn pants, those weren't cheap!"

"Blehhhhhh." Medy stuck her tongue out at him.

"Your Earth lets you talk to people halfway around the world, but you can't make a simple tail work? So weird, why's everything so advanced and so backwards all at the same time?"

"You guys have literal magical miracle healing and yet the idea of polyester fabric boggles your minds." Wade swore it was like wrangling cats right now. This was not how he was envisioning his final day with all his worldly pains. Eri let go, then gave Wade a few taps on the cheek. Good patients stayed still while undergoing magical healing under his authority. Also, he was expecting a pope's hat after this. Leon had showed him a picture of those giant hats and now Eri had a new goal in life.

It was as Wade concluded: Leon was the agitator here, mucking around with everything because he could. A debuff was removed: Chronic Cervicalgia Twenty five points of additional health flooded into him all at once and wiped every thought in his mind clean from the pure bliss. It felt like he'd just had the world's best massage, and was currently feeling the afterglow. Everything felt good.

"Holy crap, you nailed it." Wade breathed, standing up from the chair and moving his neck around. Nothing. Not a single bit of pain. And even better, the effects of having a vitality point restored back into him wasn't just local to his neck. It was in his entire body. All for under a minute of healing. A lifetime's worth of pain. His health and mana bar had also jumped up in maximum amount, now sitting at 150. It was huge.

It also meant he could have more mana in his body, which meant he should be able to tank the second healing for his hip next, assuming he'd get another point in vitality back from that. Eri patted the seat, jaws clicking, expecting his patient to stop walking around in circles while stretching and testing the neck. He still had one more debuff to clear after all. And he really wanted that pope hat for his collection.