Chương 9: Rats Are Gods To Bugs

Ch. 9: Rats Are Gods To Bugs

"Spiros!?" I screamed.

"Don't just stand there gawking! Help me!" My sister's runty dog Boba was one of those mixes that ended up looking more like a rat than a dog. She wheezed as she chased after Spiros. Spiros was in his kirin form but, for some reason, the stood ankle-high. Boba's four legs scuttered along the floor.

"Spiros!?" I asked again in shock, "What am I looking at?"

"I'll explain if you do something! I don't want to die again!" The German Shepherds I had confiscated did not have leashes. I was trying to hold onto both of them from their collar but the excitement was too much. They jumped out of my grasp and chased after the little dragon deer running around my sister's apartment.

"Two more!?" Screamed Spiros, "Those two will swallow me whole!"

"Keep it down!" I told Spiros as I leapt into action. Boba snagged the kirin in a corner and started playing with him. The two shepherds tried to intervene but I got in between them and grabbed Spiros from Boba's mouth.

"Drop ti! Drop it!"

"Oh, the indignity!" said Spiros, "I was a champion among champions! Now, I've been reduced to a chew toy!" Boba dropped it because she's a good dog. The two guard dogs barked like mad, jumping on me to try to bite Spiros. I held him up in the air as I walked across the apartment.

"Oh, thank you. Thank you. You blithering dulbert! Now, put me down so I can do my job and- what are you doing?" I opened a window and chucked the tiny Spiros out of it. Then I closed the window and quieted the dogs, "See? The tiny god is gone. No need to worry about that anymore." Their barking died down but it was too late. The doorbell rang.

"Fuck," I whispered. I looked through the peep hole and saw my sister's landlord. A tall man with pudgy features and glasses that made his face look sweaty. I opened it just a crack.

"The neighbors are hearing dogs," he said.

"Dog," I corrected him.

"The lease says you can't have more than one small dog. And they're saying they heard big dogs." The guard dog betrayed me and poked her head through my hip and the door.

"That's a big dog, Drake."

"I… I'm just hosting them for the day. My friend, she's a champion, got beat up real bad in a tarpit. She's out of the hospital tomorrow but I just need to keep them for the day."

"I do not want to be taken advantage of."

"No, of course not," I assured him.

"It's not your name on the lease. Which means that we're in a very tricky legal area where this counts as abandonment."

"I know. And I know you wouldn't want to call this abandonment on my infirmed sister and I certainly wouldn't want to call squatter's rights. Let's just leave the entire legal mechanisms out of this. Man to man, right?"

"Are you threatening me? Why do I smell a threat. And the faint scent of fried chicken."

"I would never, Mr. Jonson. Look, they're out of your hair tomorrow. I guarantee it. The checks are clearing, aren't they?"

"Mostly," he said, "And they're often late."

"Yeah, I know, I promise they're not going to be late, Mr. Jonson. Things are turning around for me."

"Again?"

"This time for real," I said, "I promise." He sighed.

"Just please don't let them stay more than one night."

"Thank you, Mr. Jonson. Will do." He shook his head, clearly judging me, but turned around and left. I closed the door on his balding ass. As I placed some food in Boba's bowl, the three dogs got to know each other. I leaned on the kitchen sink before I heard clicking coming from my second story window. Spiros was knocking his hooves against the glass. I opened it a crack.

"Go away."

"I can't. This is my new role."

"You can't have these powers. I killed you fair and square. Besides, I'm not allowed to have more than one pet."

"You can keep the bloody powers. I'm here to show you how to use them." I gave him a meticulous stare and said, "Let me put the dogs away."

"So what?" I asked him, "you're the tutorial?" Spiros washed himself in my sink, kicking his hooves up in a pot of hot water and soap, "Who could be a better guide than the person who last played 'The Kirin God?' At least, that was what they thought." The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

"Uh huh," I said as I poured myself tea, "So… how do you do the cloud things?"

"I can get to that. Wouldn't you like to more a little about your new role?"

"I kind of get it. I 'The Santa Clause'd' you. You know the movie 'The Santa Clause?'""Enlighten me."

"I killed you so now I am you. Yeah, that makes sense."

"Yes, but the screen. The system. The rules. You… have no interest in why we're here? Because I could tell you."

"Okay, hold on. Let me just put some coconut milk in my tea. You want some tea?"

"What kind?"

"Free."

"Fine." I found a tiny rammekin buried in the cupboard and served him some tea. He lapped it up.

"Start with why you're here," I said, "In my house. Not dead."

"When we were created, the concept of death was not yet concieved. It was a later rule added if a follower got the better of a god then they would inherit the god's essence." I took a sip of my tea, "Rule? What rule? Like the system rules?"

"Ah, now you're asking good questions. It's like this… Do you know how rats are gods to bugs?" I stopped sipping.

"What? Rats are… no. I don't know that."

"Bugs revere rats as gods. And rats… they revere dogs as gods. You see that? How… there's another level?"

"And dogs revere humans as gods?" I asked. Spiros shook his head.

"Dogs are nihilists."

"What does that mean?"

"It means they don't believe in anything."

"I know what nihilism is… I meant… sorry, it feels like we're getting bogged down with things that aren't important. You all have your own gods. Is that correct?"

"Yes. The Titans. The gods before us. They created us and some time after, you all. The three of them were bored in infinity and eternity so they crafted the game."

"The game," I repeated, "The game. The game of life."

"Our lives, not yours. Humans were created to be followers. To be commanded."

"Are we in a simulation?"

"Largely irrelevant question. I suppose this is a simulation but it's all real. Does that makes sense."

"About as much as anything else. And what's the goal? How do you.. Or I.. win?"

"We do not know what triggers the end event. But whomever is on the top of the leaderboard when its triggered will win."

"Right. I said as I dipped my tea bag. He took a minute to sip from his tea rammekin.

"We trained in… a kind of waiting room, or lobby, for many millennia. That's where we all built our power and strength. Then we were released out into your world."

"Wait… I have a much more important question. Why did you try to kill me?" His draconic face darkened and he said, "That is a crucial question. Loot, booty, items, are created in the other world. The one you humans call Tartarus. We use these ourselves or give them to our followers to grow. A large part of a god's job is raising the profile of his coven. That is done through weapons."

"The knife," I said simply.

"The knife," he repeated.

"So what did they want? The demons?"

"I do not know the motive of the demons. Especially of that individual. But it was he who approached me and offered me the awesome power of the knife. Something that could eliminate my competition."

"That's dark. Those are kind of your brothers and sisters, right?'

"It is dark. But that is the burden of the game. And it is your burden now."

"What other god has died?" I asked.

"I'm the first."

"That's gotta sting."

"Yes. But I am your guide now. I shall help you achieve where I have failed."

"Look… I just need to get my head above water and I need to help pay my sister's bills. No dumb game is going to help me with that."

"Really? That is what you want? You haven't heard the prize yet."

"Health potions don't work on nonchamps, and both them and healing spells don't help with chronic illnesses. What I need right now is cash."

"There is a prize. If you win the competition, you get one wish. You can wish for your sister to get better." This caught my attention. I swirled my cup around and said, "Why do you care? You're suddenly generous and not powerhungry?"

"I get my body back. The one you took from me. Besides, helping you win still qualifies as me being power hungry." I nodded. I looked at the stack of letters in front of the door that had big red stamps, all of them saying 'Past Due.' on them.

"One wish, you say?"

"Anything you want."

"Spiros, when do I get a champion?"

"You get a follower every 50 levels, up until level 500 where you get a new follower every 25 levels."

"Okay. So… my first two goals are to get some money in my pocket, and then its to get to level 50. And then… world domination. Sounds good?"

"It'll have to do," he said, "Did you select your name yet?" I looked at him confused. He activated my screen with his mind, sent me to the 'Scoreboard' tab where a question popped up. What is your name? The scoreboard showed the gods at the top have levels in the 10 thousands. I scrolled for some time.

"Dang. All the way at level one. This is going to be an uphill battle."

"Go on. Place your name," Spiros said, "Anything you'd like."

"Well… I'm the first human who's entered this game this way, right? I'm going to have to keep a low profile. I'm almost thinking about putting your name, but that would lead to more questions than answers. I suppose… in the interest of anonymity… I know my name." I typed four letters on the holographic keyboard in my vision. Spiros read it.

"Anon?"

"Pretty lowkey, right?"

"I think-""Doubt it," I said as I entered the name. Suddenly an alert message showed up on my screen. A New God Had Been Chosen! Welcome to the game, Anon!

"Drake… If you had chosen any name, you would have been someone anonymous. But You're trying to obsfucate, keep your identity a secret. They've already seen my name is removed. They'll put two and two together. Soon, everybody will be looking for this new Anon, and all the power he might behold." I suddenly heard a dinging noise. It was the messaging system. A red 1 turned into a red 3 turned into a red 18 and on and on. The number flared upward as the fellow gods were reaching out to talk to me. All of them.