Chương 1: Pay Me My Full Rate

Ch. 1: Pay Me My Full Rate When the Tar Pits opened up, all I could think was, Thank God. Another potential income stream. That's all there ever felt space to think about. I couldn't afford not to dwell on it. And when I got money, it reminded me how little I had. My car honked on its own. It did that occasionally. My car, my steed, was a dark purple 1994 Volkswagen Cabrio. A convertible that no longer converted. Four-cylinder engine, and each one of those cylinders gave me trouble.

I bought it for $2000 from a dealer who let me put whatever number I wanted on the bill so I could pay less taxes. I chose $500 and paid about $48. I honked my horn at a jaywalker inching along. My car gave a wimpy caw like a pelican with a fish in its throat. I'm late, I thought, but I'm still an acceptable level of late. A traffic-level of late. I'm dangerously veering into 'actually late' territory. I brushed my curls out of my eyes. I once asked my old college roommate if he realized he had enough money.

He had told me,"Are you kidding? The wife wants a third kid; the first two are in private school. I'm going to be working until they're out of college!" Amazing. I'm going to be working until his kids are dead. I drove through the green light and almost missed my turn. I yanked the steering wheel to make it, taking my shitty car's left wheels off the flat of the road for a second. I slammed the brakes right before my car collided with someone.

A man was in front of me, pushing his car while his wife steered in neutral. It was on an incline, and he was struggling. The raid was scheduled for 8 am, and I wasn't exactly an early riser. I had been up late the night before because I had taken an extra shift at the coffee shop. Closing shifts were best because I could take home the uneaten pastries. Yeah, I'm going to be late. I parked my car, got out, and pushed right alongside him until his car was off the road.

"You're strong!" said the wife, "You wouldn't happen to be—""Nope," I said as I hopped in my car and sped off. My brakes squeaked as my car pulled into an empty slot. I waved at the Champs as they all looked at me. I grabbed the pastries in the shotgun seat and threw my holster on, sliding my magic dagger in it. They didn't look happy. I looked at my phone. 9: 02 am. Okay… I had just driven past 'actually' late and landed in the realm of 'Is-he-even-coming' late.

"Hey, guys!" I said, waving with a big smile.

"Sorry, I was late. Traffic was a raging b-word, and I stopped by to get all these pastries for you all!" I handed out crullers, croissants, and bagels to anyone who wanted them. Most champions grumpily accepted, opting to keep their tired remarks to a low growl. I looked at the Tar Pit up yonder. MacArthur Park, normally riddled with drug dealers and homelessness, had acquired another problem. A hellmouth.

I stared out at the giant fanged teeth that erupted from the ground; the inside leading to a different dimension. The fog drooled from the rupture like Satan's hot breath. I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist and hug me from behind.

"You're here!" said a voice, way too chipper for this time of day. I turned to her. A young woman, waves of auburn hair that she'd tied in a ponytail. She had a button nose, and the crinkles in her eyes radiated warmth. She was tiny. It was nuts to think she was leagues stronger than me. Penelope was a perpetual motion machine that never seemed to stop smiling. And her worst trait was that she was earnestly kind to everybody.

"Hey, Nelo."

"Thanks for the day-old croissant!" She chirped.

"Freshly bought, allegedly," I said.

"Give it to me straight. Does everyone hate me?"

"Mmm," she bit into the croissant. Another person, male, twenties. Medium build. Dark hair and an angry face approached me. Time to pull out the charm.

"Franz!" I said with a smile and wave.

"Buddy! Sorry, I'm late. Traffic was a raging b-word. You get it. Fritter?"

"You're out," he said swiftly, like a cut of his axe.

"What? Come on. It's 8-ish. Don't act like the traffic I was just in. Don't act like a raging b-word."

"It's 9. Breach was at 8. Game plan's at 7: 30. I already called it in. They're sending someone."

"What!? You called it in!? Not cool, dude! I'm at like, five verbals. Next is a written warning."

"Be on time, next time." He turned his back on me and walked off. I turned back to Nelo.

"So they do hate me."

"You know how it is, champs are always a little weary of…"

"You can say it. It's not a bad word,""NPC's." Franz. Nelo. Everyone else here but me. They were all 'Champions.' People touched by the gods with powers beyond human capacity. Me? I wasn't one of those. A 'Non-Powered Champion.'

"You think he's bluffing about this call-in?" I asked. Nelo shook her head.

"Who do you think this turd is?"

"I don't know. Someone responded pretty immediately, and they should be here soon. Hey, Drake… do you feel an overwhelming sense of calm?"

"Oh, no. Overwhelming senses of calm always fill me with dread." The group of champs felt a shadow cast upon us. We all looked up as some entity drifted down to greet us.

"L-lord.." Franz looked at him.

"You gotta be kidding me," I murmured. A man, impossibly handsome, with straight black hair, wearing a kimono, deer horns on his head, descended from the sky; each step created a cloud under his foot before touching the ground. Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

"I am told you requested assistance?" The great god said.

"Lord Spiros!" Franz said. I stared at the hem of Spiros's kimono. There were two Kirin woven into the fabric, moving as if they were parts of a video. They danced and frolicked. I looked at his face. This was the first time I'd seen a god in person. He did not meet my gaze. Spiros, The Kirin God. With the powers of an ancient dragon deer. Of the whole pantheon, this guy sat near the top. I had mentioned that some of the people had been 'touched by the gods.' I meant it literally.

When the world started its slow crawl to decimation, some humans found themselves with extraordinary powers. Turns out they had literally been touched. Each of these people felt some strange name on their lips.

"Spiros."

"Ozid."

"Bizzlit" "Queve." That was when the gods appeared. Gods from a mythology of which we had no record. Powers beyond our comprehension. They met with our world leaders and made a proclamation to everyone on the world stage. The pits would keep coming. They would bring with them more monsters. And the gods and their champions were our answer for fighting back. So… obviously, Franz was stoked. He was a Spiros Champ. He bowed, which I thought was a bit much, but okay.

Then all the others followed, kneeling down and refusing to look directly at him. Spiros graced the champs' pious bows with a sly smile. I stayed standing. I wasn't touched by any god. What good did it do me?

"Hi there. Spiros, right?" I approached him and stuck my hand out. The god gave me an annoyed glance. You should have heard the gasps coming from the crowd of champs behind me. Pretty sure Nelo couldn't even look from all the secondhand cringe. I kept my hand out, waiting for him to shake it. To touch me. To make me a champ and give me a fighting shot at this world. He didn't take the bait. He stared at the hand with an uneven patience, his two hands tucked into the large sleeves of his kimono.

"Charmed." That was all he said.

"Well," I said.

"If you're so charmed… shake my hand."

"Stop that right now!" Franz finally got off his knee and walked toward me, slapping my hand down.

"I'm so sorry about that, Lord Spiros. Please, he's insolent. And an NPC. Don't let him bother you."

"Not at all," the god replied, "I admire his pluckiness. Even though it can often be mistaken for bravery. Everybody get up," he said as he waved with his hand.

"Do not let my very presence scare you, or it will make this pit all the harder. I am merely here because you called for a helping hand and I was nearby." With permission, everybody slowly rose.

"Okay," Franz clapped his hands," everybody huddle! We'll make a plan and we'll breach in three!" Nelo grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

"What are you doing?" she hissed, "That's a real-life god."

"I had to take the shot," I said.

"I'm constantly getting mauled out there. Jeez. And I barely make enough to cover the union fees, too."

"I know that everybody wants to be a champion, but trying to shake hands with a god? As if he would fall for that!? Why don't you do something that would make him choose you to be a champion?" I shrugged.

"What if I offered him a day-old pastry and then, when I was handing it off to him, we bumped fingers? Think that would be enough? Hold that thought." I approached the huddle. Franz was giving a quick reminder, "Top brass tells us the tar pit's an Alpha. Easiest of the bunch. Been here a week, nothing's come out but a demon-deer. The only thing we might have trouble with is the core. It's in a Grizzlox." There were some groans.

"I know. But I don't think that Grizzlox is going to see this guy coming." He hiked a thumb to his god. Spiros did a small wave.

"Franz? I'm sorry. I'm still coming," I interrupted. Franz dropped his head, losing patience. He flashed a 'one-second' at Spiros and walked me away.

"Take the day off. Here, I'll Venmo you some cash for your troubles."

"You gonna pay me my full rate?" I asked.

"N-no. But.."

"I didn't come here to not get paid my full day rate. Come on. Let me come. I get paid a flat rate. You guys get to keep all the cool stuff. It's like 800. You're going to make way more than that. 800 divided by 10. You're going to cut me for $80?"

"It's a little higher. Spiros isn't taking any of the loot. Look," he said, "Go buy yourself some lunch. Check on your sister—""Don't you say a fucking word about my sister," I barked, teeth clenched. Franz held his hands up.

"Look, man. You're cut."

"I. Don't. Care," I said.

"I took this job, I'm going to do the job. And I'm making my $800."

"We don't need another person. It's an Alpha-class pit. Spiros and I could probably take this thing down ourselves."

"Yeah? You'd love that, right? Take this thing down before noon, suck each other off before lunch."

"Cool it," Franz said it loud enough that the other group members turned to look. Franz's eyes darted back from me to Spiros.

"Fine."

"Fine? We're cool?"

"We're so cool. You're right. I'll go visit my sister. If you're so desperate for my share, then fine." I stuck my hand out for Franz to shake.

"How's your sister doing, anyway?"

"Fuck you," I said. I grabbed his hand and yanked his arm. He was much stronger than I, but he still had a center of gravity. When he tumbled, I stuck my leg out, tripping him. He fell flat on his face. Before recovering, still on the ground, he turned to see Spiros watching with ambivalence.

"You fucking asshole!" he said. He rolled and back-sprung with his hands into a stand. He grabbed the scruff of my shirt and held his fist up, punching me with his vast strength. It felt like a ton of bricks had fallen from a great building. My nose gushed blood, instantly broken. I dropped, but Franz didn't stop. He placed himself on top of me, pinning my arms with his knees as he grabbed my shirt again. Franz pummelled me as the Champs intervened. Nelo shrieked in terror as he tore into my face.

Two champs both grabbed at his arms.

"Take it easy! You're going to kill him!" screamed the champ on the left. I was shaking as I looked at him through my last functioning eye, "He doesn't have the guts."

"He's goading you!" screamed the champ on the right.

"You've already broken his face open!" Franz dropped his fists. He got up, turned to Sprios, and bowed deeply.

"I'm so sorry, your lordship. I did not mean to lose my calm." Spiros' statuesque face hinted at his impatience. He waved his hand and said, "Are we going soon?" Nelo came to my aid instantly. She cast a greater healing spell on me. The bits of my face that were there grew back into my skull. I could feel the cartilage reconstructing. Nelo's tears dripped on my chest. She gave a wry laugh through the crying.

"I think I made you a little handsomer." I grabbed her arm and pulled it off once she was done. Even though my face was healed, it was still covered in blood. I got up and faced Franz, whose back was turned to me.

"I'm placing you under citizen's arrest." Franz turned to me, "Would you shut up?"

"You're a Champion, and you just attacked a civilian. You're going to get kicked out of the Champion's association. You might go to jail. Enjoy this Alpha pit, it will absolutely be your last."

"Friendly fire happens on a mission sometimes," Franz said.

"It doesn't…"

"We weren't on the mission! We haven't made it to the pit. Not just that…" As he turned, I pummeled his chest with my bloody index finger, relishing every word, "but you kicked me off!" Franz looked askance before muttering.

"Come on. I-I'm not…" I used my shirt to wipe my bloody face.

"So did you or didn't you? Kick me off. Because if you didn't, then you're right. Crazy stuff happens all the time on missions. And I'm willing to put the whole thing behind me." Franz stared me down before blinking.

"Fine. Keep your pathetic 800 dollars. You fucking rat. This is why nobody likes you." I turned to Nelo and said, "Told ya!" And with a smile, I practically skipped past Franz toward the mouth. The mouth of the cave was on the park's surface. It had teeth surrounding it. Even though it was sunny in Los Angeles, it looked to be about twilight inside the tar pit. I looked down and saw a demon deer staring at me, its single center eye locking with mine before prancing away.

"I trust there will be no more distractions?" Spiros asked.

"Not from me," I said, and with that, I cannonballed into the pit, ready to risk my life for my full day rate.