Chương 50: Squonk's Lament

Ch. 50: Squonk's Lament The Exleys were not prepared for Squonk's retaliation. From out of Squonk's eyes came an assault of hardened tear drops, shooting out of his eyes and into the crowd of Ozid supporters standing above him. The Exley's stuck their hands up to try to block the blow. As soon as the tear drops hit them, they dispersed into normal water. They stung even the Exley's hardened constitution. As if entering a wind tunnel of paper cuts, small drops of blood started forming on the three.

Exley managed to back off quickly, sticking up his forearms to cover his face and minimize the damage. Sampson and Paulie got it the worst. All three took a step back. Squonk lifted himself off the ground, his barrage of tears coming to an end.

"I know you're not trying to fight back now, are you?" Exley demanded. Squonk turned around and started to run away.

"Sampson, you've still got your buffs, correct?"

"Oh, yeah. I've got this." Exley turned his attention to Dory.

"One step and I won't hesitate." Squonk kept running away from them. Sampson took the nickel out of his back pocket and placed it in the sling. He once again, swung it over his head. It charged the deadly blast and took aim at Squonk. He launched it. It charged toward the little god. This time, Squonk was better prepared for the attack.

"Lacrimanipulation: Throwing stars!" As the tears dripped from his eyes, they dangled off the bridge of his nose as throwing stars and landed in his hands. He turned and tossed the shurikan at the oncoming trajectory. Both projectiles collided in the middle. As the energy blast connected, there was a huge explosion on the pathway between Sampson and Squonk. But Squonk had crafted more than one shurikan. A second tear-shurikan slipped through the dispersing smoke cloud.

Sampson didn't catch it immediately, and as he placed his hand up to block it, it slipped through the gaps in his fingers and caught him right in the shoulder. Sampson grimaced. The shurikan dispersed and he grabbed at the open wound as he went down to one knee.

"Damn, I think he hit a tendon."

"That's right!" Squonk yelled, "I may be the weakest in the pantheon, but I am still a god. I have more strength than… the average champ."

"More strength than us, though?" Paulie asked.

"I didn't say that," Squonk replied. Exley slapped his nephew in the back. Sampson winced. Exley yelled, "Don't tell me you got done in by that! You're an Exley for godssakes!"

"I'm telling you, he cut something deep," Sampson said.

"Get up and move anyway!" Exley demanded. Sampson slowly got up. He reached into his back pocket and pulled a coin out. When he lifed his arm to put the projectile in the sling, his body sent a shockwave. His body's message was clear, " Do not do that."

"Do we have any healing potions?" Sampson asked. Exley rolled his eyes and grabbed a small vial from his belt and tossed it to his nephew. Sampson caught it with his nondominant hand and unscrewed the top. Paulie stepped forward.

"I've got him," Paulie said. He brandished his club, "Scorpion's skitter!" Two phantom legs sprouted from each side of Paulie's hips. As well as his normal legs, he now had four more appendages to move with. His running speed had 3x'd. All six of the legs galloped toward Squonk. There was about 40 feet between them but in no time, it had shrunk to 20. Then 15. Then 10.

"Lacrimanipulation: Caltrops!" His skill, Lacrimanipulation, allowed him to turn his tears into complex geometric shapes that could fit the size of a palm or smaller. At his level, he couldn't make something as intricate as a key or a dagger, but things like shurikans and caltrops were the perfect usage of his powers. This time, he didn't even stick his hands out to grab them as they fell. He merely kept running and as the tears fell off his nose, they would land on the ground as little spikes to slow down enemies.

As Paulie was running at 3x speed, when his feet hit the caltrops, he felt them tremendously. He felt his phantom limbs popping as they reached their damage threshold. He bellowed in pain as the caltrops pierced his physical feet. The forward motion that his enhanced speed carried him at caused him to tumble forward. His body skipped along the ground, constantly colliding with the caltrops left behind. They weren't just hitting his feet now, but his body and face too.

Squonk ran to the backpack and unclipped the mace he'd taken with him. He approached Paulie as the man tried to get up. Squonk shook the can and maced him right in the eyes. Paulie grabbed his face and Squonk ran back the other way, leaving Paulie behind.

"Good god," Exley sighed as he rolled his eyes, "Sampson, tell me-""I'm good. I took the potion," The health potion drew upon Sampson's constitution to accelerate the body's healing process. His skin had sealed, some of the muscle fibers had conjoined again, enough for Sampson to return to battle. Sampson placed the rest of the change in his pocket into the sling. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"The strength of the energy blast will just get divided into how many pieces I put in. It won't be as strong but at least he won't be able to block them." He swung the sling above his head. They converted to energy before he tossed the the scattershot. It looked like a miniature July 4th heading toward Squonk. Squonk tossed newly minted shurikan at the objects. Sure, some collided, but the could not escape all of them. He was walloped with three shots directly to the chest and stomach.

The blast blew him backward, landing him on the ground. Squonk looked up, dazed, as Sampson and Exley approached him, Exley said, "I'm quite through with the silliness." Squonk yelled, "Noxious Odor!" A foul, almost toxic body odor emitted from the god's divine pores. They diffused into the immediate area, the plume lifting from the ground and offending the Exley's delicate senses. Exley grabbed his nose and squealed, saying, "Good gods, man! Are you already dead? You smell like a carcass!"

"No! For the first time in my life, I'm starting to feel alive!" Exley and Sampson bent over, placing their hands over their mouths and coughed to get the odorous fumes out of their lungs. The scent was too strong, they had no choice but to back away.

"That's right!" Squonk said, "Years and years of building a system built on self-doubt, low confidence and most of all… accepting everybody's worst fear! I. Am. Pathetic. Hear my whine!" After Exley coughed up a lung, he stumbled toward Squonk.

"Come here, you." As Exley came face to face with Squonk, he unleashed his once-per-week special ability.

"Repugnant Reflection!" Suddenly, for a brief second, While Exley saw saw Squonk's horrendous flabby body, he had seen his own reflection where the god's face should be.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Exley turned away in horror. Sampson was behind Exley, as the odors cleared, he stepped forward to tried to make a move, Squonk winked at him.

"Sniveling Sniper." The concentrated water bullet landed between Sampson's neck and clavicle. The wound that had been freshly healed but as soon as Squonk did that, it split open again. Sampson grabbed his shoulder and screamed out, "Ahh! He got my tendon again!" As Sampson could not lift his arm again, he reached into his side holster with his nondominant hand and pulled out a short sword. Squonk attempted to take a step forward but Sampson made a slash at Squonk.

Squonk turned to run but was greeted by Paulie, his face lacerated from the many tiny teardrop caltrops.

"Uh… are you mad at me?" Squonk asked. Dory did not know if she should run and abandon Squonk. She heard the 'psst' and saw a colorful blur out of the corner of her eye.

"Down here!" Dory heard words this time, and turned to looked around.

"Down here!" Dory finally craned her neck down and saw the vibrant kirin against the backdrop of the green stadium lawn.

"Wh-what are you?"

"I am your brother's guide on all matters spiritual. I should disclose that I have also been staying at your place for the last few weeks. I do have to forewarn you. You are out of goldfish crackers. You are out of double stuffed oreos. You are out of all starbursts except pink. We shall replenish at a store after we make our escape."

"W-wait. What?"

"I don't like the pink starburst. Sue me. I dare you. Take me to court. You won't. Anyway, we need your brother to make contact with you. It's the only way. Let us go." Dory started to walk, but she wobbled. Spiros looked and said, "Are you okay?"

"I'm so… sorry,.. I'm even having trouble standing. I've been feeling weak since the bone marrow extraction." Spiros trotted up to her and said, "One step at a time, Dory. You've got this."

"Who are you to my brother again?"

"Your brother and I… we share… a kind of charming back-and-forth. But he does hate me and I'm not even that fond of him."

"Oh, you're like his friend I guess." Spiros' eyes went wide and his head snapped to Dory, "Could I get you to say that on video?" Spiros bit her sweatpants and pulled her to help her walk away. When Squonk tried to back up, he soon felt Sampson's sword slash at his back. Squonk let out a cry and turned around. He was completely surrounded by Sampson and Paulie.

"You're giving us a lot of trouble," said Sampson. When Squonk turned around again, Exley was standing there with his dukes up.

"I think… I'm quite through with you," Exley said.

"Uh, oh," Squonk said as he was once again surrounded. His mana was still okay… it was getting depleted. But he had once. But once he used this… he would have very little mana left. Exley approached first, saying, "You've been a pitiful distraction, but I came here for revenge." Squonk yelled out, "Ultimate move: Cry Me A River!" A dimension of tears poured out of Squonk's eyes. They first hit Exley square in his center of gravity, knocking him off-kilter. The pressure from his move was making it hard to stand up.

With much difficulty, Squonk strained his neck to the right. The powerhose of tears washed away Sampson. Squonk fully turned hid body. Paulie leapt in the air but the water got his foot. He flipped and Squonk turned up to look at him, washing him away.

"That's enough!" Exley screamed. Squonk turned to look at him again. The concentrated waterfall beam hit Exley dead on but he was ready for it this time around. He placed both his hands up and managed to block Squonk. Even with the mounting pressure on him, Exley took a step forward.

"What are you doing!?" Squonk asked. Another step. Exley was getting closer and closer. Squonk tried to push the tears out of his eyes harder but Exley took one more step forward, reached over and slapped Squonk bare across the face. Squonk's ultimate move was interrupted and the sheer force of the slap sent Squonk into a tailspin. The god went down. Exley took off his soaked polo shirt and wrung the water out of it. He stared at his layabout nephews as they attempted to pick themselves up.

He shook his head and said, "I knew it. I knew you were lying about being a-" And then a voice in his head he had only heard a few years ago chimed in his ears. Champion initialized.