Chương 128: The Scent Of Hair

June sat against the bedframe with heavy eyelids as Lilia slept on his lap. He enjoyed Lilia's company to an extent that even confused him, but he made a crucial mistake by asking her to rewatch a recording of his simulated death. It's understandable why her mood was soured. June tried to put himself in her shoes, and the thought of having to view her being brutally killed twice made his heart stop beating.

'She looked like she was going to cry… I would too if I was in her shoes. I probably should've backtracked when I asked her to watch the recording together.' He softly caressed her hair; she had done the same for him when he was recovering from his time in a coma. He wished he could do more for her, but no matter what he thought, nothing came to mind.

She lived in a literal castle and was one of the most accomplished mages for her age; not to mention, she awakened as an Aspirant at 13 and a Dreamer at the age of 17, which was a monumental achievement. June, on the other hand, survived as a nightwalker, which was a statistical improbability in itself; he was a Flesh-Shaper, and he skipped to the Dreamer phase without being an Aspirant, which was an unheard-of development.

In June's eyes, Lilia's achievements only put into perspective how insignificant he was compared to someone of the same age; her achievements were done through striving without stopping, while June couldn't help but feel like all his powers and his feats were circumstantial towards his advantage. His feats and achievements were monumental, and yet he felt undeserving of the praise that came along with it. He still felt unworthy.

He felt like he wasn't loving her enough for someone who would even bother to give him the time of day. He spent the entire night wiping away her soft tears from nightmares and caressing her hair to remind her that he was indeed still alive and by her side. If anything about his death bothered him now, it was about how much Lilia and the others cared. Although a little guilty part of him was relieved, maybe even elated to know that there were people who would shed tears for him.

He just wished and hoped that they had a peaceful life. He wasn't a religious man, nor did he subscribe to any particular ideology, but he silently prayed that any hardship would befall him rather than those who would even consider caring for him. He continued to caress her hair with a gentle smile and a novel peace after his time in the hellish simulation. Romance felt tingly; he looked at Lilia's peacefully sleeping figure and got goosebumps of joy. Just seeing her comfortable made him feel better.

He didn't quite get romance for a long time, and from what he understood, neither did Lilia. This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report. To his surprise, neither of her alters even considered romance before June pranced along; they felt the weird enigma that he did. Similar to paralyzing fear, it was like a jaw-dropping awe enveloped them. They both seemed to have a deep respect for one another and an odd sense of symbiotic enjoyment.

June tilted his head back against the wall. The moment was bliss, but he knew as well as anyone else that bliss was something momentary. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow, something else would eventually occur that would pull his life into the fray. June tapped the back of his head against the wall repeatedly with soft thuds as the words fell from his lips.

'Education…' Education felt like a dying art in the mundane realm, but within the Nightrealm, it may be the only thing that separates his death in the simulation from becoming a cruel reality. Will? Magic? Qi? Flesh-Shaping? Martial Arts? Spirits? June let out a long-winded sigh, trying not to wake Lilia in the process. He had a few pathways to head down, but didn't know what the best course would be.

He had some unique strengths like powerful Will, Flesh-Shaping, and the ability to perceive spirits and borrow their strength, but the issue with unique prowess is that finding a suitable teacher would be extremely difficult.

'Will seems fairly crude, but functional. Magic seems useful, but I haven't had any luck so far. Flesh-Shaping is my staple, but I haven't stretched its limits yet. I don't even know what Qi does. Martial arts might be a good pathway paired with flesh-shaping, but I don't think it would hold up against inhuman threats, and spirit techniques? I didn't even know they existed until recently.' He dragged a hand down his face and brought it back to caressing Lilia's hair.

June understood more than anyone else that improvisation was a Hail Mary and spite alone wouldn't save himself or others from some threats. His natural prowess could only bring him so far.

'Tch..' June realized the tactile feel of Lilia's silky hair on an extra finger, a repeated blunder that he had encountered all night. His flesh-shaping was physically less restricted in the real world than it was in the simulation. He had gotten too used to the comforts of not constantly reining in his powers, but now he was in a scenario where new limbs occasionally sprouted, or parts of his body shifted inhumanly.

His body was still slurry; his flesh-shaped bones were just guidelines of movement more than actual structure at this point.

'Is this something that I need to fix?' The Voice still stayed silent to his internal questions, so he himself had to figure it out in the meantime. His body was slurry, and the slurry seemed to be controlled by Will rather than biology, so the question rose within his mind: was he still even human?

A human had veins, organs, and blood that circulated, while June had strings in his body that weaved themselves into pseudo-organs that pretended to work like regular organs; his bones fully disappeared after his coma, and June had to manually reform them with Flesh-shaping when in the simulation and when he exited the simulation.

His Will stored itself in his eyes, which caused them to glow, but through some practice in the simulation, he was able to reemit aura like a regular Dreamer so he didn't blind anyone who looked him in the eyes. His slurry-like body could contort inhumanly; he could probably squeeze himself into a shoebox if he could bear with it, and his body moved through Will instead of brain signals and muscles. June snapped himself out of thought and let his body reabsorb the finger slowly.

The idea of losing his humanity never bothered him until it started happening; he didn't care much about fitting in, but now that he might actually be less human than he was, he started to feel a little scared. What place in the world would an oddity have after all?