Chương 29: Take Your Vitamins

I stare at the words. Rowan looks on with concern as Lyn tries to hold in a laugh. I pick up the small rat in my hands. She squeaks happily, nuzzling me. Then I hug my beautiful rat-daughter.

"I hereby name you Vitamin," I declare, squeezing her carefully to not break the dead bones.

"For you are like me, but very very small."

"Look who's a mom now, eh kiddo?" Lyn says, grinning massively.

"Oh gosh, Lyn! You're right!" I reply, smiling back evilly. I hold up the little rat.

"Vitamin, meet your grandmother!" Lyn clutches her chest and dramatically falls over backwards, making gagging noises as Rowan and I erupt into laughter. Aah, Vitamin is so cute! Why did she call me 'mom?' No, wait… of course she called me mom! I raised her! Hah!

"It's great to meet you, Vitamin!" I say.

"I wanted to ask you if you know where Remus is, or what he's doing." The rat nods happily, hopping off my hands and scratching more into the dirt. DAD IS IN LITIA VILLAGE! I choke a little after sounding the first word out.

"A-ah, if I'm mom, Remuslime isn't your dad, okay? You're like, adopted." OKAY!

"So, what's he doing in... a village?" I ask. SPREADING!

"... Wonderful," I murmur.

"It even writes little exclamation points," Rowan murmurs.

"Vita, is it an it, or a he, or a she?" Lyn asks.

"I dunno, I'm just guessing," I say.

"Vitamin?" MOM IS A GIRL! I'LL BE ONE TOO!

"Well there we go! How does it feel to be a mother, Vita?" Lyn taunts.

"Really weird, since the first step was killing a baby," I reply.

"I think Remuslime said she's like ten hours old or something."

"Oh," Lyn says, sobering up.

"Yikes."

"I had to! She was controlling my body and about to tell Remus I'm a necromancer."

"I want to see if she loses her memories while she's like that," Penta says, butting in for the first time in a while.

"Yeah, good call. We'll keep an eye on it. Vitamin, let us know if you think you're starting to forget things, okay?" OKAY!

"Wanna see if you can hide in her as well?" I ask.

"I bet I can't, but sure." Penta responds, detaching from my neck, flowing rapidly down my body, out my knee, and along the dusty ground before passing into the animated rat corpse. She spends about half a minute there before rushing out and returning to my neck, slithering up the inside of my arm. I'm never going to get used to that feeling.

"No dice," she says after settling in again.

"Damn, that thing's kinda fast," Lyn murmurs.

"Well fuck, there goes the easy option," I say, scowling.

"How long do you think you can stay in a living rat?"

"I wouldn't feel safe for more than twenty minutes," Penta answers.

"I might be able to stomach up to an hour. More than that, and I'm going to find a human host."

"And what do we do with Vitamin?" Lyn asks.

"I don't think it'll be safe keeping an undead here."

"Yeah, probably not," I agree.

"Especially tonight with all the Templars running around like a kicked anthill. Hey, Vitamin? I'm gonna need to pull your soul back out, okay honey? I'll get you a better corpse later, I promise." Vitamin nods, wiggling her tiny body happily.

"She just called that dead rat 'honey,'" Rowan murmurs up at Lyn.

"I know! Isn't she the cutest?" Lyn coos.

"Vita or the dead rat?" Lyn just smiles her big goofy grin in response. I carefully grab my daughter's soul and murder her a second time, returning the spirit to my body. Then I grab the rat bucket and stand up, nodding to my family.

"Well, I should get back there. Wish me luck."

"Good luck, kiddo!" Lyn cheers.

"If they put you in jail I'll be sure to come break you out!"

"Thanks, grandma," I answer, and she pretends to choke again.

"Vita," Rowan says.

"Do you remember our promise?"

"Always," I reply seriously.

"Uh… though I don't know if I can follow it literally. I don't know if I ever did." He gets up, pulling me in for another hug.

"That's okay. Follow the spirit, not the letter. But you're worrying me with all this stuff you get up to. I feel like I'm missing a lot of context here. I don't know how to help." I squeeze him, hard.

"Just stay safe."

"All right," he says, smiling.

"I'll see what I can do." I rush back towards the guild, keeping a wide berth from the many Templars roaming around. They're strong. Not as strong as Remus, at least not the ones I see. Way stronger than me, though. They're all pretty close to Penelope's level, actually. When I make it there, I feel Penelope in the guild's fancy office, talking to someone. Probably the guild head. The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement. I let her do that.

If she plans to spill anything I don't want her to spill, she's surely already done it. Saving her from a hellish nightmare— no offense, Penta— probably gives me enough chops to get her to trust me for now.

"None taken," Penta murmurs sardonically, the pair of us heading up the stairs to wait in my room. That reminds me, I have to introduce Penta to Rosco! She will, after all, be the only person other than me to experience the unparalleled comfort of his squishy, floofy hugs.

"I'm honored," Penta says, and she actually seems serious. Well… damn right she is! She curls my lips into a smile at that, and we open the door to my room, waving at Norah. She's doing situps on the floor.

"Hey, Norah."

"Vita," she grunts.

"Sup. I saw Penelope was back. She clear now?"

"Yeah," I say.

"She's good. We're safe. Should you be working out this hard before Hiverock hits?"

"I'm not working out, I'm limbering up," she protests, but starts to slow down.

"... Did you forget?" I ask, smirking as I go sit on my bed.

"Yes," she groans, flopping flat on her back.

"How did I even do that? It's not like it's an enormous motherfucking stone egg in the sky or anything."

"It's kind of been a crazy week," I say.

"Not a lot of time to look up. Penelope and I forgot too."

"It's weird that we'll be on standby," Norah comments.

"Hiverock never bothered my village much, we were out in bumfuck nowhere. I saw them drop a few times, though, and I heard the stories. We huddled up together and hid every time. If they had come for us, we would have just died." I nod, pulling Rosco from his hiding spot and sitting him on my lap.

"Yeah, sounds the same as where I grew up," I tell her. She raises an eyebrow.

"Didn't you grow up here? Like, the place with all the crazy powerful Templars?"

"Yeah, but they sure weren't patrolling my neighborhood," I say. Norah wrinkles her nose.

"It sounds like it's my turn to go have that life-changing adventure over at your house. We can bring Bently to make it expedient if you want." I snort.

"Sure. The ghetto wisdom is included free if you bring food."

"Eh, it can't be that bad, right?" I give her a flat look.

"All right, all right, sorry," she says, holding up her hands.

"I look forward to seeing the place that shaped the world's tiniest badass." I roll my eyes, picking Rosco up to look him in the eyes.

"You hear that, Roscy-woscy? Norah thinks I'm a badass!" Penta vibrates in the back of my neck, presumably from reverence and not laughter. I also magnanimously pretend not to hear Norah making awwing noises. I fall over onto the bed and continue to snuggle for a while. God damn, I am just so tired. At least I got sleep last night, because with Hiverock up I'll probably need to pull an all-nighter again. No rest for the wicked, though.

While I wait for Penelope, I feel out with my mind, trying to push the limits of what I can pick up with my soul sense. It's been getting more and more detailed lately as my own soul gets stronger and stronger. Sensing minute changes in a soul based on circumstance just seems useful, but as always it's not so simple. Souls do not change or move much, and the way souls change or move seems to differ from soul to soul. Sensing the moment-by-moment differences is one thing, while interpreting them is entirely another.

The person Penelope is talking to has a small soul, brown and warm like dirt under sunlight.... Or a turd, I guess, but the earthy tones to the feeling are inviting and fresh, not putrid. As the man speaks— I think it's a man, though it's hard to tell— his soul moves ever so slightly up and down in time to the ebbs and flows of the conversation, like bobbing on a wave. Penelope's soul, meanwhile, humms ever so quietly.

It's a tune nearly impossible to feel, but the more I focus, the more I think I can hear the song...

"So… where's Remus?" Norah asks suddenly, snapping my trance. Eh, no sense lying to her. Penelope is telling the branch leader everything anyway.

"He's off mind controlling a bunch of people with his slime babies," I explain, still cuddled up on my bed. She laughs.

"Okay, but what's he actually doing?" I roll over and stare at her.

"What?" she asks.

"He's mind controlling a bunch of people with his slime babies," I repeat slowly, being sure to articulate this time.

"Wait, you're fucking serious?" she asks, eyes opening wide.

"Yeah, he tried to put one in me. It didn't take, I pretended it did, then I freed Penelope. Couldn't save the boss."

"Watcher's eyes, Vita! You're not fucking with me, right?"

"Nope," I confirm.

"It's kind of super bad. Penelope's telling the guild head now."

"How did you free Penelope?" I sigh. I guess I may as well tell her that too.

"The sensory thing isn't the only thing I can do," I admit.

"I've been keeping another talent a secret cuz I don't want to freak people out. It's kinda murdery."

"Oh. Oh! Damn, so is that how you got those tentacle bitches...?"

"Yup," I admit.

"Sorry for keeping it under wraps. It's not really the best power, but it helps against small things."

"Awww, poor Vita," Norah coos, getting up and walking over to my bed. She leans down and gives me a big hug.

"You killed something on accident, didn't you?" The hug surprises me a bit, and I stiffen up before leaning into it a little.

"... Yeah," I admit.

"How did you know?" She shrugs.

"It's how the murder powers go. My little bro killed our pet cat when we found out."

"Oh," I mutter.

"Well, that's not too bad."

"Vita," Norah murmurs, "please don't say something horribly sad like 'I've never pet a cat before.'""I have!" I protested.

"Oh, thank fuck," she says.

"It was dead at the time, but still soft. The feral cats don't let you pet them when they're alive."

"... Yep, there it is," she says tiredly. Penelope opens the door at that moment, peeking her head in.

"Norah, have you seen... ah. Vita. The branch leader wants to see you." I frown.

"I'm not in trouble, am I?" She snorts.

"No. Not yet."

"Eh, good enough," I relent, exiting Norah's hug. I put Rosco back in bed, grab my bucket of rats, and follow Penelope out the door. Then, before we get to the branch leader, I grab her and pull her into an empty room.

"Ack! Vita, what the hell?" she hisses.

"I know more stuff!" I whisper.

"Because of secrets! I figured out where Remus is."

"How?"

"Because. Of. Secrets. Come on, keep up! I'll tell you after our talk with the guild guy. Somewhere other than this building, where we can be alone."

"Alone? As in just you, me, and that thing?" she asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Penelope, I didn't save you just to un-save you."

"No, you just spared the fucking slime because you like it more than me," she hisses.

"What's in the bucket?"

"A whole bunch of dead rats," I say honestly.

"I was hoping you could treat them to be edible!" She spends a moment struggling to respond to that before shaking her head and changing the subject.

"So. Where's Remus?"

"Litia Village."

"And how would you like us to tell the branch leader that you know this?"

"I don't know. If you haven't noticed, I'm in entirely over my head." She snorts.

"Oh, I've noticed."

"Which is why I was hoping we could come up with something!" I say happily.

"Is this something we could have like, logically deduced from context, or...?" Penelope rolls her eyes.

"Vita, if you want to lie, keep it simple. We'll just say he told you he was headed there at some point. It doesn't really matter. If it's true— and I'm assuming it is for now— they'll have every reason to want the tip. The important thing is that the slime inside him dies, after all."

"Cool! Works for me!" I say, moving to head on out of the room. She follows, but I hesitate for a moment.

"And, uh... you know, Penelope, most of the parts I like about her are things she took from you." She flinches, but doesn't respond. The two of us go to the branch leader's office together.