Chương 155: 153. Demigod Daycare

I feel the tears falling down my face and I just let them. I'd thought I could at least feel good about having kept my entire squad alive, but it turns out I can't even do that. Melik is dead. He wasn't a friend, not really. He was grumpy, mean, and rude, at least around me. But he was getting better over time, and he was still my squadmate. He worked with me even without liking me, and I worked with him. We helped each other. We trained together. We grew stronger as a team. And… and I failed to save him.

I know, logically, that there's nothing I could have done. I already killed Vita to try and save him, and she just… walked it off! And then my neck was broken and then she survived being disintegrated by a High Templar and I just… I was powerless. I was truly powerless. And yet, it feels like my fault. So the tears flow. I relive my memories of him, and later the memories of her when I thought she was him. When I thought he was finally coming around to being friendly. She would act so much like him!

Was that really her? Is Vita even still a 'her?' … No, I won't think of Vita as a 'him.' That's not her body. Except… wait. There's the thing with Xavier, and I think that means it's not really about bodies? But Xavier doesn't really want to talk about it so I don't know how that works! And maybe Vita's last body wasn't even her first body anyway? His first body? Gah, I've heard about people who aren't either, too! This is so confusing, I should just ask. August always said to ask questions when I'm confused.

"Vita," I manage to say, wiping tears away from my eyes.

"Are you a he or a she? Or a… they? Or something else?" Melik gives me a… no. Vita gives me an incredulous tilt of the head.

"Really? After all this, that's the first question you ask?"

"I just…" I look away, a mix of embarrassment, annoyance, and a little bubble of hatred warring inside me.

"It's the question that came to mind." Vita sighs.

"Call me whatever you want. It couldn't matter less to me." I nod.

'She' it is, I guess. Good, that's easier for me. Next question, then.

"... Why Melik?" I ask quietly.

"It was an accident," she grunts.

"I think I was aiming for Norah."

"What do you mean you think?"

"You cut my fucking brain in half," she snaps back.

"I don't exactly remember it super well." I flinch at that. Is that why? So it really is my—"Uuugh," Vita groans loudly, cutting off my thoughts.

"It's not your fucking fault, Lark. It was a fight to the death, what were you supposed to do? Not kill me? Please. This is very much my fault, which sucks because Melik is pretty important to someone close to me. It's just a shitty accident, okay?" Her words are a shock. Watcher, she sounds so much like him. The groan, the little movement of her head that indicates an eye roll, the way she backhandedly tries to help… it's all so very Melik.

I'd had my suspicions something was wrong with him for a while now, seeing the ways in which he was occasionally so very frighteningly Vita. But it was always little things, things I wanted to explain away and pretend didn't mean anything. Now I see the reverse and it's not something I can pretend away any longer.

"We were the ones that attacked you," I protest.

"That might not have happened if I hadn't gone along with it."

"It absolutely would have," Jelisa grunts.

"You were Plan C at best, Lark. And we shouldn't bother playing the blame game here. Vita died, Melik died, now Vita's back and she has Melik's body and memories. The whole situation is shit. What matters is what we do about it."

"You knew about this, didn't you, Captain?" I accuse softly.

"Why didn't you tell us? Why leave us to think we're talking to him?"

"Because it's harder to keep a secret the more people know about it, and since Vita seems inclined to help us kill Wights and city-murdering monster bastards, I'm inclined to not start another dumbass war with her," Jelisa answers firmly.

"I'll be the first to tell you Vita isn't a good person—""Hey," Vita protests.

"—but that's all the more reason to help enable her to do good things. So I made my decision. I'm sorry it hurts, and believe me when I say I feel all the grief you do. But we play the hand we're dealt."

"The others don't even get to mourn him, then?" I snap, feeling my heart beat a little faster.

"He's dead. Do you want me to just pretend that nothing happened?"

"Ideally, yes," Jelisa answers calmly.

"But if you can't or won't do that… I understand. This is fucked so far up the ass it's coming out our throats. I don't know what the best thing to do is."

"Well you could always stop talking about me like I'm not here, for starters," Vita chimes in.

"Like, come on guys, even I know that's rude." I shudder. Yeah, we should probably take care not to irritate her. She's… she's… I don't know what she is. A monster. A savior. The horrid, smiling creature that fed me my own father's soul while I was just starting to mourn him. The piercingly merciful person that saw the whole of me and believed I deserved to live. She is all those things. I owe everything to her, and I hate her like I've never hated anyone. She killed Melik.

But I killed August, and if everyone says I deserve forgiveness then it's not even a question whether Vita does too. It's hard to feel that forgiveness, though, when she wears his flesh in a mockery of everything he once was. And then she said she was attracted to me, and I thought she was him, and… aaaaagh. Physical attraction exists now and I hate it. Not to Melik, of course. Or Vita, I guess. Humans just look like meat to me, as usual. But when that male vrothizo sat down and displayed his… gah!

I feel my lips curling into a snarl just thinking about it. He was weak, he was food. But my instincts were also hoping, just maybe, that he'd prove to be strong in our fight, and then I'd let him— My whole body shudders in revulsion. No, no, a thousand million times no. I would rather die than have children. Er, no, wait. I'm not supposed to think that way. I'd rather… rip my own stomach out? Yeah, that's survivable.

Still, the thought is every possible kind of horrid, in much the same way my urges to eat my friends are. But this instinct, somehow, is worse than just the dull horror of danger that I'm used to. It's like my instincts are calling me to be the antithesis of what I believe is right. My body wants to let another monster inside me so it can bring more vrothizo into the world, and every part of that is unthinkable. … Not that it stops me from thinking about it.

"Does talking help, Lark?" Vita suddenly asks out of nowhere.

"Huh?" I yelp.

"Talking. Does it help when you get caught in your own head like that? You feel pretty uncomfortable with whatever you're thinking about." I… what? Oh. That's right, she can read souls.

"You were looking?" I ask.

"It's harder not to look," Vita says, shrugging.

"I'm pretty much spying on everyone's emotions all the time. It can be helpful, but it's mostly annoying. Now are you going to answer the question?"

"I… I guess so?" I admit.

"I suppose I can get caught by… strong thoughts, as Captain Jelisaveta calls them."

"So do you want me to snap you out of it when you're like that or not?" she asks impatiently. Do I? It's such a strange thing to be asked, but I suppose I can't deny it would be nice to have someone to stop me.

"That would be nice, actually," I admit.

"Thank you." She nods.

"Good. It helps me too. Your soul's emotional state gets so… active and gross. It's really distracting."

"Vita," Jelisa snaps.

"Don't call people's souls gross."

"Well the soul itself isn't gross," Vita protests.

"Not as long as you don't look too deep."

"Vita," Jelisa sighs.

"Anyway," Vita continues, blithely ignoring Jelisa's chastisement, "if you two want to rip the bandage off and tell the squad I'm actually the big bad Lich, you can. Harvey already suspects, I think, and as fun as this whole subterfuge thing is, I don't think I'm very good at it. So if you're going to tell them, doing it out here where they're miles from the nearest actual threat to me is preferable. Well, except the second intelligent vrothizo, I guess."

"Yes," I agree, shuddering again. I'm very glad he didn't try to… proposition me.

"Keero is dangerous and unpleasant."

"Huh?" Vita says.

"Oh. No, sorry, I mean the second second intelligent vrothizo. The third one counting you, I guess. That one might actually be really dangerous." I stop. No, no no no. There's another one? I'm going to have to kill two people. Two members of my own species that, like me, are intelligent enough to feel. And yet chose to slaughter away. But didn't I, at first? No, I hate this. I hate this I hate this I hate this…!

"I could really use a pillow to scream in," Jelisa groans.

"So that one we just fought isn't someone you'd consider dangerous, Vita?"

"Nah, he was kind of a chump," she says lightly, as if trying to reassure us with this terrifying revelation.

"His girlfriend though, she's fucking huge. Way stronger, too."

"Language," I say automatically.

"Fuck shit damn piss tit cunt bastard ass," Vita fires back causing me to flinch in surprise.

"I have earned every single fucking swear I use, thank you very much."

"Um… o-okay," I stutter.

"You've earned some too, if you wanna use 'em."

"No thank you?" She shrugs, as if to say 'your loss,' but it isn't my loss. August was firm about swearing and I see no reason to doubt him on the matter. She's just being mean and rude by saying all those things. So I stick my tongue out at her, something other kids used to do to me that I could never reciprocate. That causes her to snort with laughter, which… isn't what I intended. Now I'm embarrassed again. The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

"Watcher's eyes, I'm a fucking demigod babysitter," Jelisa groans.

"Can you two at least behave long enough for us to figure out our next course of action? We need to know what to tell the squad about Melik, and then we need to decide what to do with the vrothizo."

"We need to tell them about Melik," I insist.

"Honestly, that'll make it easier for me to fight," Vita agrees.

"And it'll give me time to figure out where I stand with the rest of our squad." Our squad? Our squad!? I clench two of my fists, trying to hide my anger. Why am I so angry lately? Well, I suppose I deserve to be angry for this. She killed Melik, took his body, and then says she's part of our squad!

"Hey, don't give me that," Vita grunts in irritation, again startling me as she responds to my thoughts.

"I saved your asses, didn't I? And besides, it's not like Melik just vanished. He and I were… kinda the same person for a while, there. I still have all his memories. So I'm fond of you guys, okay? And I would've saved him if I could." She crosses her arms, turning away from me.

"It was scary, you know? Being two people and feeling one of them slowly die. It wasn't all just pretending." I don't have anything to say to that, and thankfully Jelisa speaks up before I feel the need to.

"So we're telling the squad?" Jelisa groans.

"This is going to be such a mess. Fuck me."

"No," Vita grunts at the same time I say "No thank you." We turn to stare at each other.

"I don't want you to… it's not a proposition when someone says that," Jelisa sighs.

"It's an expression of exasperation."

"It's a proposition when Penelope says it," Vita argues.

"Can we focus on the vrothizo problem?" Jelisa all but begs.

"No. Wait. As your Captain, I'm ordering you to focus on the vrothizo problem. How strong is this other one, exactly? Can we take it?"

"... Maybe," Vita hedges.

"I don't think I can, not as long as I'm stuck in this weak body and without Norah. I might be able to kill her if I can make contact for long enough, but I'm not confident I'd survive getting close enough to touch at all. She's definitely a lot bigger and stronger than Keero."

"But how fast is she?" I ask.

"I'm used to killing things bigger than I am, as long as they're slower."

"I have no idea," Vita admits.

"I'm only making guesses on size and power based on what I feel from the vrothizo's soul. I know absolutely nothing about her specific capabilities. If we're telling everyone about me anyway, my vote is to focus on killing Keero and turning him into a Revenant. Then he'll help us kill his lover, and should know more than we do about her weaknesses." She says it so casually, like it's no more notable than what time classes start. Then he'll help us kill his lover.

I don't know if what Keero feels about his fellow vrothizo is comparable to love, but I suppose Vita probably does. And yet, she sees no problems with twisting his mind to our purposes.

"I'm not sure if we can sell your existence to the team and convince them to allow that spot of blasphemy," Jelisa hedges.

"So what, they'd rather risk a more probable death?" Vita drawls contemptuously.

"Or are you suggesting we avoid a fight and leave these two to kill more cities? Not using my skills would just be stupid."

"It's not stupid," I insist.

"There are good reasons for animancy to be forbidden."

"Says the fellow animavore," Vita snaps back.

"Who works for an Inquisitor. Don't tell me you can't see the obvious hypocrisy there. Not that it matters, because I'm telling you the Mistwatcher doesn't care. Your entire religion is made up." I bristle at that immediately. How dare she! August, Galdra, Jelisa, my squad—every single good person in my entire life knows the value of what we believe, and she just wants to dismiss all of them?

"Whether it's made up or not," Jelisa interjects, "we can't exactly sell the team that way. You can't just tell people they're wrong about the founding principles of their life and expect them to just go 'oh, okay, my bad.'""Well, I should be able to," Vita grumbles.

"Otherwise, what's the point of being right?"

"You're not right!" I snap.

"Yeah I am," Vita insists.

"Both of you please stop," Jelisa sighs.

"Just let me do all the talking, okay? I'll handle the squad, and we'll plan our attack once everyone is together."

"And if the team isn't cool with doing the smart thing?" Vita grunts.

"Then we'll figure out an alternative." I don't like it, but I nod along. The trip back to the rest of the squad doesn't take much longer, and soon enough we're back at camp. Xavier, as always, gives me the friendliest greeting, whereas Harvey and Bently just give us nods. Captain Jelisaveta gathers everyone around, informs them that the Wight has been dealt with, and then drops the news on them.

"There is something we have to discuss regarding Melik," Jelisa says.

"Namely the fact that, since the last battle, this hasn't actually been Melik. We knew the risks of going to battle against a Lich, but they didn't quite turn out as expected for any of us."

"No fucking way," Xavier mutters.

"Squad, I'd like to formally introduce you to Vita," Jelisa says, indicating the Lich where she stands next to the captain.

"And as I'm sure you might guess, this puts us all in an awkward position." There's a long pause as everyone takes that in.

"Is this a hostage situation?" Harvey asks.

"No," Jelisa says.

"Vita has expressed willingness to continue working with us, using Melik's former body. And I think that's optimal, given our current situation."

"So you're telling me," Harvey says slowly, "that an undead monster and explicit enemy of the Church is puppetting the body of my friend and roommate, and you're okay with it? You expect us to just… what, ignore this? Work alongside it? Captain, this is absurd."

"I'm not undead," Vita protests.

"Vita, please be quiet," Jelisa sighs.

"And no, Harvey, I don't expect you to be okay with it, or to ignore it. But it might be best for all of Valka if we work alongside Vita today. Not only did they risk themselves to kill an immensely powerful Wight, but we've also had a run-in with the vrothizo responsible for the destruction of New Talsi, and these monsters are powerful enough to put us in a similar situation: accept help, or doom the surrounding countryside to destruction." Harvey huffs in frustration, but after a brief delay he nods.

"How bad is it?" he asks.

"New Talsi is an empty ruin," Jelisa answers.

"So things are about as bad as it gets." It's really all gone. Half of the city is a ghost town, and the other half is a shattered mess. Nothing is left of the square I played in… or the many children I played with. The market I met August in is destroyed, the homes of my former friends are abandoned, it's all just… gone. Though I'm not sure if that's more or less frightening than the half of the city in which only all the people are gone… without any apparent destruction or struggle.

"Then I can't afford to let my emotions get in the way of the mission," Harvey says evenly.

"Can I, ma'am?"

"It would be ill-advised," Jelisa agrees.

"But I'm not going to pretend that means your emotions don't exist. I need to know if all of you can agree to do this. If you are willing to work alongside a person that has killed hundreds of us, even some personal friends of ours. Understood?"

"It won't be an issue," Harvey dismisses.

"So Melik's… dead?" Xavier asks slowly.

"He's been dead like… ever since the battle?"

"Functionally, yes," Melik says. Vita says. Gah, why does she have to have his voice?

"You took his body," Xavier continues.

"You've had his body this whole time. We've been eating together, drinking together, bathing together, and you've been… Vita."

"Mostly," she nods.

"I have his memories, and they influence me a bit. But as much as I hate the Templars, I don't have anything against any of you."

"It's just… a lot to take in," Xavier mutters.

"It's wild how you just took his body like that."

"The degree to which you find the idea of going from a female body to a male one horrifying is something you should really think more about," Vita says bluntly.

"It's not the thing that everyone else is focusing on the way you think it is."

"Wh-what?" Xavier sputters.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Vita shrugs.

"Just trying to help." She turns to the last member of our squad, staring up at him before giving a slight nod.

"Bently," she greets him.

"Vita," he says tiredly, an emotion that's quite rare on the infinitely energetic young man.

"You been okay?" she asks. He looks away.

"Why'd you do it?" he asks.

"Why'd you turn Norah into an… an object?" She regards him silently for a moment, then sighs.

"Because by the time I was free enough to give her what she wanted, she wanted that," Vita answers simply.

"You know it… changes people a bit, when I bring them back. I didn't want to do it, but I needed her help to try and take down the mob boss that caused the Skyhope perception event." There's a pause.

"Oh yeah, you guys don't know about that," she muses.

"Well, uh, has anyone ever heard of the Broken Drakens?" She then starts to tell an absurd story, a broken and disjointed account of her fighting a gang boss and an Ars splice who were trying to cause a perception event by teleporting metal underneath the center city.

"I had to use Norah to kick his ass and stop them before they could destroy the city," Vita explains.

"Without her, I would have died."

"But the city got destroyed anyway," Xavier points out.

"Well I failed, obviously," Vita admits with a huff.

"I mean, I succeeded at kicking his ass, but he got away."

"You should have simply told the Templars," Harvey grunts.

"That's what we're here for."

"The Templars were in on it," Vita claims.

"And probably still are. They were covertly supplying most of the metal, allowing it to be 'stolen.' They even had spies in the Broken Drakens already, but they still didn't do anything."

"How do you know the Templars had spies?" Harvey challenges.

"Because my dad got hired to be one!"

"Wait, you mean Ars?" Xavier asks.

"No!" Vita snaps.

"Not Ars, I don't even know that bastard! Look, the point is, I ended up getting captured by you fuckers because I was trying to help people after the cataclysmic event your bosses helped cause. That's why Norah is a Revenant, and that's why I hate the Templars. But I know that none of you were involved, so… whatever."

"Well as interesting as that tale is, we still need to plan out how we're fighting the vrothizo," Harvey insists.

"Oh, true," Vita agrees.

"We'd better do that fast, since they're almost here." What!? I twist around, sniffing at the air to try and sense the monsters incoming.

"Xavier and Harvey have the best talents for dealing with Keero," Vita declares, seeming unperturbed.

"Though we might need you two to deal with the other one, as needed. I don't think we really know enough about her to form a plan, so… think fast, I guess. Once we kill Keero, though, I'll be able to tip the odds in our favor."

"Vita—" Bently starts, but she cuts him off.

"He's a fucking city murderer, Bently, he deserves it. Now come on, get your swords out. We have shit to kill." We scramble to do as she says, just as that careless, mocking voice rings out all around us.

"Awfully rude of you," Keero taunts, "to gossip behind our backs like that."

"Then come on over here so I can do it to your face," Vita fires back, spinning her sword once to stretch her wrist. Laughter rings through the trees, and suddenly we start to hear it: the stomping, a horrible shaking like an explosion going off in time with an animal's hoofbeats. It's a slow, almost contemptuously plodding pace, the smell of it attacking my nose with the same suddenness as the sound. Danger, my instincts scream at me. Certain death. Perfect meal. Power.

The explosive stomps grow ever louder, ever closer, shaking the ground so hard that we collapse to the ground under the force of it. Trees snap and shatter, and the first we see of this horrid new monster is a hoof large enough to crush a house smashing down into view. Attached to it is an enormous woman's torso, at least fifty feet long, her 'arms' ending in blunt implements of destruction rather than hands.

Hunched down on all fours, long hair covering most of her face, a long tail whipping behind her and felling what remains of the trees with razor-sharp protruding scales. She'd almost be more humanoid than Keero if not for the utter, horrifying scale of her, the promise that I'll never be able to bite off enough of her to matter before she manages to score the one good hit that could easily kill us all.

"Oh lovely, foolish humans," Keero intones from atop her shoulder.

"Allow me to introduce you to my love, the greatest and most beautiful of my esteemed race. Since you insist on tromping around in our forest anyway, it's only polite that we have you over for dinner."

"That's much less original wordplay than you think it is," Vita responds flatly.

"Anyway," Keero continues, pointedly ignoring her, "it's wonderful to meet you all. For those that don't know, I'm Keero the Cunning. And this, my dearest new friends…" The female vrothizo rears up on her hind legs and screams, the sound so horrid and mighty that it nearly deafens us even though Harvey immediately covers us with his talent.

"... is Ketevan the Worldshaker." Then she vanishes, the world goes dark, and the forest explodes.