Chương 6: S.04 Memory of the Clock 02(02)

Scene 02_02. The void left by I-sim could not be filled easily. The one who understood that best was So-hui. She had called that name — that title — so many times, determined never to regret leaving any of it unsaid. Yet now that the one she called had departed to a place beyond her reach, So-hui could not shake the lingering ache and longing born from the simple fact that she could no longer deliver those words. She had never imagined it would end like this.

The path had been hidden by her mother, never properly shown, and so the sense of defeat So-hui carried stretched longer than she had expected. The moment she realized what her mother's wish had truly been, So-hui chose to accept the defeat. Helplessness was not absent. But the instant all the years her mother had endured arrived not as defeat but as a deep sorrow rooted in helplessness, So-hui resolved to engrave her mother's will even deeper. And so she had to get better.

She believed she was getting better, little by little. The sun had not yet risen over the wide 번화가(Bunhwaga_Entertainment district). So-hui's dragging steps met Si-yeon, who had just emerged from the alley. Through So-hui's eyes, the retreating figure of Hee-jin shrank to a speck at the far end of the narrow alley and vanished. So-hui let out a long sigh. She fidgeted both hands inside the pockets of her thick padded jacket.

In one pocket, her fingers touched a handkerchief — soaked in someone's sweat, someone not unfamiliar, someone who could never be unfamiliar. Si-yeon stood silently at So-hui's side. Because it was a morning still hidden inside darkness, the wind that sliced through the bitter cold blew even harder. So-hui's dragging steps did not seem likely to stop anytime soon. So-hui: The Strategist...

So-hui, who had walked in silence for a long while, finally stopped near a shuttered row of shops in the middle of the entertainment district. Si-yeon, who had been following beside her with a worried look, stopped as well. Through the zipper pulled all the way up on her padded jacket, So-hui pushed out a small voice and finished her question. So-hui: What did she say? Si-yeon: I dunno, she said it's all done. It's not like I know anything beyond that.

Si-yeon, head still a mess, tossed the words out as they came — half-hearted, barely sorted. So-hui nodded slowly. They walked in silence. The entertainment district at the edge of dawn still wore its flashy lights, blaming the empty boulevard for its own desolation. The cold had swept the crowds away as though they had never been; the only ones dragging their feet forward were So-hui and Si-yeon. So-hui exhaled through her zipper-walled jacket, a sigh riding on a puff of breath.

She gripped the handkerchief in her pocket a little tighter. Still walking, still staring blankly ahead, she asked Si-yeon. So-hui: Aren't you curious? Si-yeon could not figure out how to answer So-hui's sudden question. So-hui: Why you and I are still fine. Why they're not coming after us. Si-yeon: That — what's it called — you hid us with your thread thing, didn't you? Last time that tall bitch was walking in and out and couldn't even tell. She sat right there on the sofa looking at her phone and didn't notice.

Dumb as a brick. So-hui let out a hollow laugh at Si-yeon's jab. So-hui: The truth is, I wanted to kill her. For the first time. Si-yeon said nothing, only listening to So-hui's hatred-laced grievance. It was not as though Si-yeon's own blood didn't boil. But she decided to hear the rest. So-hui: Seeing that face again — I could see it. How she'd ransacked even the bedside where Mom was lying. An emotion neither of them could name hung over their dragging steps. It was not hatred alone.

So-hui: You know, what you said — that the only reason I've managed to live without hurting people is because of Mom and sis — I keep thinking about that more and more lately. Si-yeon had nothing she could say to So-hui, who was recalling her own words. Si-yeon was about to chide herself lightly for ever having said such a thing, but So-hui continued. So-hui: Now I have to do something. Don't I? Si-yeon did not bother to answer.

She could not gauge the depth of the abyss So-hui might feel if Si-yeon stepped in and tried to do it for her. Si-yeon was not a clueless person. She decided to listen a little longer. So-hui: You. Ji-young sis's bracelet. When was the last time you saw it? Si-yeon stared blankly and began to think. So-hui: Ji-young sis knew. That's why, that day, she drew a big circle on the calendar. In the end — Mom knew, sis knew. The Strategist knew. Driver Lim knew. Probably Yeon-hui sis knew too.

That the thing Mom would give us — the very last thing she would give us — was defeat. She made sure Ji-young sis and the rest of us could not win that day, telling us and Ji-young sis not to crumble into helplessness the way she had. Even forcing Ji-young sis to submit. As if telling Ji-young sis and us: rather than helplessness, choose defeat. So-hui pulled out the hand she had kept in the pocket opposite the one holding the handkerchief. In her palm lay a thin, clear black bracelet.

So-hui: After Ji-young sis was dragged away, and after I was — whatever you call it — taken by someone else, I thought about it. I thought about it an insane amount. Si-yeon walked beside So-hui in silence, stealing a quiet glance at Ji-young's bracelet held in So-hui's small hand. So-hui clutched the bracelet tight, slipped it back into her pocket, and paused mid-step. A sigh, settled now, seeped out again.

As though she had observed a moment of silence for the end of all that deliberation, So-hui's voice was calm. The weight had not lifted entirely, but it was composed. So-hui: If I sit down on the road laid out before me and refuse to walk, I can't save sis. I can't save any of us. Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings. She had realized this long ago. That was why she could not count the days she had spent crying.

It had taken a long time to sort through her thoughts and lay them out with this much composure. Here and there, the sound of shop shutters beginning to open drifted in. They were walking through the middle of a downtown shopping street at the edge of dawn. Foot traffic was still scarce. So-hui: That's why Mom, Ji-young sis, Yeon-hui sis — and the Strategist looking after Ji-young sis — all of them wanted us not to get hurt. Don't get hurt, pull yourself together, stand back up.

While the enemies gather, while 본청 (Bon-cheong_Headquarters) is being sorted out, by the time the fangs start to show — we have to be on our feet. Mom chose the path where the fewest people would die. Sis chose the path where the enemies would feel safe enough to gather and come searching for her. They left us out of the current on purpose — to give us time to prepare, to recover. So-hui gripped the bracelet and the handkerchief tight inside her pockets, fighting to press down her surging voice as she continued.

So-hui: Mom decided to bear it all. Ji-young sis decided to bear it all. Yeon-hui sis decided to bear it all. Quietly. Now it's my turn. Si-yeon: Did you see it? So-hui: Late. Very late. After I'd already lost everything. Si-yeon: I see. So-hui: But today — I ran into Ji-young sis. On my way to see you. Something caught between shock and heartache surfaced in Si-yeon's face. She could not let it show. She only kept listening. So-hui's stalled feet resumed their dragging pace.

Si-yeon stood by her side without a word, watching So-hui's small steps. So-hui: The moment I saw her, only one thing came out. So-hui's voice was already shaking. Choked with tears and snot, she barely managed to speak. So-hui: "I'm sorry." Si-yeon was absorbing So-hui's emotion whole. So-hui: But you know what she said — chasing after me out of nowhere?? So-hui burst into a teary laugh, as if she could not believe it herself. So-hui: She said there's this run-down hangover-soup joint down the street.

If I haven't eaten, let's go eat together. She says she can't sleep without breakfast. Can you believe that?! What kind of person, when they're trying to sweet-talk someone, drags them to a SSibal run-down hangover-soup joint?! Right?! So-hui was crying. The sheer Ji-young-ness of the encounter, colliding with her without warning, finally broke the dam — and So-hui erupted into sobs. So-hui: With that exact same voice, not a single thing changed — how can a person ask something like that so shamelessly?!

Her steps had stopped again. So-hui wailed. She pulled one hand from her pocket, covered her eyes with the thick sleeve of her padded jacket like a child, and wept without restraint. So-hui: How!! Could she!! Ask me!! To eat first!! Like when we were kids!!! Scene 03. Si-yeon woke from a fitful nap on the sofa and hauled herself up late. She had slept barely four hours, and the grogginess clung thick to her eyes, but she did not bother lying back down.

Without lying down, she forced her long legs up and straightened her body. She stretched lazily, then started shuffling toward the bathroom — when, through the haze, a presence beyond the front door pricked her ears. Si-yeon: Ah, SSibal. What now. An unfamiliar presence. In a neighborhood where seeing another soul was a rare event, even the woman she had met once had felt like a welcome sight. She had blurted out that nonsense about soup without thinking, and that ship had sailed, but she shrugged it off.

The unfamiliar rustling was, if anything, a pleasant surprise. She padded barefoot to the front door and yanked it open. Standing before the suddenly opened door, eyes wide as a startled rabbit, were Ye-eun and Jin-ju. Jin-ju held a pharmacy bag in her hand. Faced with Si-yeon's deeply soured expression, neither could manage a greeting. Shivering, they clutched their coats tighter and offered the pharmacy bag first. Jin-ju: Um, Si-yeon, this. Si-yeon: What is it. How did you find my place.

Ye-eun: Oh, that — the boss — Si-yeon cut through Ye-eun's halting courtesy with a blunt swing of the door wide open, waving the two inside. Si-yeon: It's cold. Get in. Si-yeon hauled them in with a brusque gesture. Dragged inside the spacious entryway before they knew it, the two slipped off their shoes and stepped into the living room. Si-yeon, already ahead of them, was rummaging for something. Then Ye-eun approached with a warm drink in hand.

Ye-eun: Still, it's our first time visiting — coming empty-handed felt wrong. Si-yeon glanced down at Ye-eun's pale hand and pursed her lips. Three warm drinks. And inside the bag, cake from a cafe. Si-yeon: Somewhere was open this early? Jin-ju: It's almost lunchtime, actually. Si-yeon: Hey. For us, right now IS early morning. Si-yeon delivered her flat jab, then dropped herself onto the living room floor. Grumbling, she pulled out the bread and drinks crammed into the plastic bag.

Disposable forks were tucked inside, too. Si-yeon: Good. At least I don't have to eat with my hands. Ye-eun smiled without a word. Si-yeon popped open a cake lid and was about to tear the fork wrapper when Ye-eun stopped her. Ye-eun: Wait! Si-yeon. sis, Um. Si-yeon: AH!! SSibal!! Seriously!! Hey!! You said you're thirty-three!! Why am I your senior!! You're EIGHT years older than me!! Ye-eun: Oh, yes. Well, that — the boss told us to, so — we go by the house ranking, and....

Si-yeon: We're outside, so just drop the formalities. Cut the crap. Anyway, what did you call me for. Jin-ju pulled the medicine from the bag. Jin-ju: This — they said you need to take it before eating. The acid reflux pills. Si-yeon snatched the coldest drink, ripped open the pharmacy bag, and tossed the pill in. She gulped the cold drink down hard, then grimaced. Face still scrunched, she asked. Si-yeon: How did you get here. Ye-eun: Taxi. sis. Si-yeon: Oh for SSibal's sake. Hey. Get lost.

I'm done hearing ma'am-this and ma'am-that from people older than me. Ye-eun: Oh, uh, um. Tax — taxi. Si-yeon carved up the cake in rough chunks with her fork, chewing as she spoke. Si-yeon: Must've cost a fortune. How much was it? The medicine too? She opened the small wallet she had tossed onto the living room floor. Ye-eun silently noticed the small memo pad stuck inside Si-yeon's wallet. Jin-ju: You don't have to pay me. I'm really fine. Thanks to you, I got all my overdue payments, so I've got some cash.

Si-yeon, as though Jin-ju's protest did not register at all, fished out two bills from the wallet and shoved them into Jin-ju's hand. Si-yeon: Split it however you want, bread money included. Jin-ju looked at the two large bills in her hand and glanced at Ye-eun for a cue. Ye-eun said nothing, just nodded — keep it. Si-yeon: Hey, why aren't you two eating. Jin-ju: Oh, we're going to eat too. Yes. Jin-ju and Ye-eun unwrapped their own slices of cake. Si-yeon, still chewing, asked again.

Si-yeon: Next time someone stiffs you on pay and you end up spreading your legs for nothing, tell me. Jin-ju: Okay. Thank you. Si-yeon: That SSibal hag keeps trying to skim the girls' pocket change. All she's growing with age is the thickness of her face. Ye-eun: Um, so. Then. Si-yeon: Ah, this is killing me. Ye-eun, why do you keep hesitating before you talk? Is something wrong with you?? Ye-eun: No!... ma'am. Si-yeon: Ma'am? Ye-eun: No. Nothing's wrong. Si-yeon: Good. Then why are you so slow when you talk??

Ye-eun: Uh. Thinking things through. Trying not to... slip up. Si-yeon: Sure, fine. What. What do you want to know. Ye-eun: How long have you been doing this? This work. Si-yeon: About six years? Seven? Back then there was barely any crackdown on minors. You just had to slap on heavy makeup and that was that. She demolished one cake in no time and tore open another pastry bag. Ye-eun: Then you and the boss go way back. Si-yeon: That bitch is the reason I got trafficked to this neighborhood in the first place.

So yeah, six, seven years. Rotten bitch. Jin-ju looked at Si-yeon with startled eyes. Jin-ju: Uh, they told us there's no trafficking here. Si-yeon: Ah, there's a story behind it. That's why I genuinely hate that SSibal bitch. I mean, she at least pretends to listen when I run my mouth, and it's not like I've never had anything to be grateful for — but yeah. Whatever. Jin-ju: Mm. Si-yeon: Where are you two going after this? Jin-ju: I don't really have anywhere to be.

Si-yeon: Then I'm going shopping for clothes — wanna tag along? Ye-eun: I have some errands to take care of. Si-yeon: The ace is busy, huh. Ye-eun: Oh, what? Uh, um. Si-yeon: You and I basically built that building for them, you know. Got called in for a daytime session? Ye-eun: Oh, no! No! Si-yeon: Pace yourself. If you burn out and end up bedridden, you can't make money and you're the only one who's screwed. Ye-eun, still unable to commit to dropping the formalities, only nodded. Jin-ju: Then I'll go with you.

Today's my day off anyway. Si-yeon pursed her lips and nodded. She gathered the empty wrappers and sprang to her feet.