Chương 609: Liu Ce's face darkened, and he began to curse.

Xun Yu and Fang Xuanling stood below the imperial steps, quietly checking the progress of the Second Five-Year Plan on their official tablets...

Du Ruhui took out his pen and began writing down what he needed to report that day in his small notebook, filling several pages with dense writing...

Lu Bing stood in the corner with his arms crossed, his eyes scanning the entire room like radar. He noted down who yawned, who whispered, and who secretly scratched their butt in his notebook.

Several young compilers from the Hanlin Academy were huddled together, showing off the memorials they had written the day before, each one chattering away, their voices quite loud:

"My piece was exceptionally well-written! The part praising His Majesty alone was eight hundred words long, using more than ten allusions, such as 'dragon's bearing and phoenix's grace,' 'the golden age of Yao and Shun,' 'peace and tranquility,' 'the rebirth of Yao and Shun,' and 'the rise of Yu and Tang.' His Majesty will surely be delighted to read it!"

"I'm better than you! I used 'lofty virtue' three times, plus 'merits surpassing five emperors' and 'benefiting all people.' I guarantee His Majesty will promote me immediately after seeing that!"

"What's that compared to what I wrote? I wrote three thousand words, two thousand eight hundred of which were praising His Majesty. I even complimented the color of the socks His Majesty was wearing today!"

"Does His Majesty wear socks? You're not making this up, are you?"

"Whether I made it up or not, just praise me!"

"This is nothing to you," a bespectacled scholar said smugly, adjusting his glasses.

"I wrote a two-thousand-word document yesterday, and the last sentence is the main point. The whole thing is full of parallel sentences, perfectly balanced. His Majesty will definitely be amazed!"

What they didn't realize was that their "masterpiece" was about to become a brick falling on their own heads.

"His Majesty has arrived!"

Li Dequan's high-pitched voice suddenly rang out, and the officials scattered like birds and beasts, returning to their positions, adjusting their official hats and court robes, and bowing in unison.

"Your Majesty, we pay our respects... Long live the Emperor! Long live the Emperor! Long live the Emperor!"

As is customary, Liu Ce would smile and say, "All of you, rise," and then say, "If you have anything to report, speak now; otherwise, the court is adjourned."

The officials had all prepared their notebooks and were waiting to read them out step by step.

But today, the script has completely gone off track.

After the officials finished their salutations and raised their heads, they gasped in shock, not daring to even breathe loudly.

Liu Ce sat on the dragon throne, his face so black it could drip ink. He clutched a memorial in his hand, his eyes like knives, sweeping over everyone from left to right and from right to left. Everyone felt that his gaze was directed at them.

The hall fell silent instantly, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Even the sound of water dripping from the ice basin could be heard clearly—one drop, two drops, like a time bomb.

Liu Ce remained silent.

He took a deep breath, then reached out and grabbed the top stack of memorials on the dragon desk, and with a "whoosh," threw it towards the direction of the government office.

Memorials flew everywhere, like snowflakes falling, the pages rustling.

A book landed squarely on Xun Yu's official tablet, which fell to the ground with a "thud"...

A book smashed into Shen Wansan's abacus, sending the beads shattering and rolling everywhere. Shen Wansan was so distressed that his face turned green...

And then there was another book that landed squarely on Du Ruhui's head, knocking his official hat askew...

"Slap! Slap! Slap!"

One after another, the Ministry of Personnel, the Ministry of Revenue, the Ministry of Agriculture, the Ministry of Commerce, the Ministry of Works, the Ministry of Rites, the Ministry of War, and the Ministry of Justice—not a single department was spared, and every minister was hit squarely.

Liu Ce threw the weapons quickly and accurately, as if he had practiced throwing hidden weapons.

After throwing away the government office's items, Liu Ce picked up another stack and threw it towards the Imperial Clan Court. It hit Liu Yao, the Minister of the Imperial Clan Court, on the official hat, knocking it off and revealing his gray hair.

Liu Yao was so frightened that he trembled and quickly bent down to pick up the hat, his hands shaking.

Finally, it was the Censorate's turn. More than a dozen memorials flew over at once. Lu Bing reacted quickly and dodged to the side, but the three censors behind him were hit squarely, their faces covered in ink, black and white patches, looking like cats with painted faces.

One of them even had his nose hit and bled, covering his nose and not daring to make a sound.

In less than a minute, Liu Ce threw away all the memorials piled up like a small mountain on the dragon's desk.

The ground was littered with scattered memorials, some unfolded, some rolled into tubes, and some trampled underfoot, creating a scene of utter chaos.

Liu Ce pointed downwards and began to curse loudly, startling the guards outside the hall:

"Open your eyes wide, all of you! Take a good look at the utter garbage you've written!"

"I've been working overtime every day lately, reviewing memorials until 8 PM. My eyes are practically blind! No amount of strong tea I've drunk can keep me going! It turns out it's all your doing! Do you think I have too much time on my hands?"

"Last night was even more outrageous! I was reviewing memorials until 10 PM, and I still hadn't finished reading ten of them! One of them was three thousand words long, and I read two thousand eight hundred of them, but I still couldn't figure out what he was trying to say! I finally found it on the last line; it turned out he wanted to apply for toilet repairs!"

"You want me to write three thousand words just to fix a toilet?! Do you want me to write an essay about your toilet? Should I also write a plaque that says 'The Source of All Dung'?"

"No wonder I've had such a heavy workload lately. Turns out it's all because of you bunch of incompetents! I now have reason to doubt how you all became officials, how you got to these positions—a bunch of useless trash!"

For the next thirty minutes, Liu Ce unleashed indiscriminate firing, going all out.

He started by berating them for their endless rambling: "A memorial to the throne is over a thousand words long, eight hundred of which are praising me, one hundred are expressing loyalty, one hundred are just empty words, and only a few dozen words at the end get to the point. Do you think I run a 'composition tutoring class'? Do you think I pay you to watch your essays?"

Then I criticized them for quoting classical texts: "You always use 'I have heard it,' 'In the past,' 'The Book of Poetry says,' 'Confucius said,' I don't care if you've heard them or not! Just say what you mean! The way you quote classical texts makes you look like a student cramming for an exam!"

Then he berated them for using obscure characters: "You all show off how many characters you know, writing words that even I can't understand. I have to look them up in the dictionary! The time I spend looking them up in the dictionary could be enough to review ten serious memorials! Do you think I'm not well-educated?"

Finally, they criticized their chaotic format: "It starts with a bunch of 'Your Majesty, I humbly submit this petition,' ends with a bunch of 'Your Majesty, I am filled with trepidation and trembling, I bow my head repeatedly,' interspersed with a bunch of nonsense, and then suddenly pops up 'Please, Your Majesty, allocate funds to repair the toilets.' Do you think this kind of writing has a good rhythm? Doesn't it sound like a storybook?"

After finishing his rant, he immediately switched to a sarcastic tone, his voice dripping with sarcasm and spitting out his words.

"My goodness, you gentlemen are truly gifted in literature! Each of you can write thousands of words in a flash. I think we should skip the imperial court and just open a literary academy. You can all become teachers, specializing in teaching people how to write effusive flattery! You can even earn extra money by taking on students!"

"I think we should stop testing policy essays in the imperial examinations and just test who can flatter the best and write the most eulogies. Whoever does that will be the top scholar. Anyway, you officials don't need to do any real work; all you need to do is write essays!"

The entire court of officials stood ramrod straight with their heads bowed, enduring Liu Ce's scolding without daring to lift their heads, their necks aching but they dared not move.