Chương 51: Chapter 47

Everyone gathered outside the wall. Sobelle had her arms wrapped around her torso as she watched everyone play and celebrate, the happy atmosphere wasn't lost to her. She didn't mean to look all sad and mopey either. But while watching, she couldn't help but ask when was the last time a celebration like this happened? She couldn't remember it fully, but Sobelle knew it was fun.

Her system still hadn't existed back then and she had hopes of being married much like Somie, it was during a time when she did not wish to be a knight. How foolish of her to think in such a way. Goblins were never a known thing to her back then, nor was she made aware of a world outside of playing with her peers. To her, everything was simple and responsibilities merely did not exist. She had fun, and that was the most important thing in the world. It was her priority. This way of thinking was wrong.

Incredibly so. Oh how she was so simple back then. Both in mind and in rationality.

"You look like you're not enjoying anything." Chael finally came back from grabbing a plate full of roasted pig for the two of them. She had filled Sobelle's with as much meat as possible, just as Sobelle requested.

"Are you thinking of something? Goblins? Or maybe..." Her tone turned excited.

"... You finally realize that your stomach hurts and that it's actually impossible for you to continue your training tomorrow?"

"I'll still do it." Sobelle would never decide against that thing.

"And yes, I am thinking of something."

"Can you tell me?" Chael was cautious, like she was afraid that she'd step into a trap if she said the wrong thing. Sobelle wanted to adopt the same attitude for when she discovered the greenskin camp.

"No, I don't want to." Her thoughts were a chaotic mess, Sobelle doubted she'd be able to articulate any of it even if she tried.

"I just want to eat, and maybe look at the celebration from afar. I feel like this isn't for me."

"It is for you, we're celebrating having good food and surviving against the greenskins, all of which happened because of you." Chael tried to comfort her but it only made Sobelle feel even more hollowed out. If all of this was for her, then why were they acting like she did not exist? No one would bat an eye at her if she were to go and celebrate with everyone else.

"Really? I haven't noticed." Celebration for surviving against the greenskins... It made sense that they'd do it. Except Sobelle wasn't really celebrated, they were just happy that they survived.

'And maybe that's the wrong way to think.' Pride rarely made people think straight, and right now was the perfect example of that. The fact that Sobelle wanted to be praised instead of being happy that everyone survived was wrong, and maybe she shouldn't think about that sort of thing at all.

"You're right." Chael looked down at the ground.

"Even a small thank you would have been enough right? You saved all of them, risked your own life and what did you get for it? Worse than nothing. They are treating you with hatred and caution rather than saying their thanks."

"They wouldn't do that." Sobelle clenched her fists. Then she relaxed them and sighed. The pain from being alienated could not be cured by eating good food, but it lessened it somewhat.

"Not when they think I'm some flawed woman who chose to do the work she wasn't supposed to do. Everyone has their role, and in their eyes, I broke that system. I'm being seen as arrogant. Simple as that."

"Well they're wrong." Chael nodded at Sobelle, her eyes determined.

"The fact that they are choosing to do this instead of apologizing and saying thanks means that they are wrong. They know what you did, they do." If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

"But they want me to come to them first." Sobelle felt that wasn't the sort of connection she wanted with other people. It was fragile and useless.

"But I won't do that, I'd rather live knowing they hate me than to go on and constantly seek their praise."

"As you should, you do not want praise from people as shallow as the ones in front of us." Chael finally looked satisfied and this led to her eating her food. She hissed.

"Hot! It's hot!" Was it? Sobelle hadn't noticed. The merchant stopped complaining when Sobelle gently giggled, and she wondered; was Chael putting on an act to make her happy? If so, then Sobelle was glad. She kept eating, and eventually, her eyes wandered back to the celebration. She noticed that everyone was now drinking ale, including Chael's brother, who seemed to just push down cup after cup like a man desperate for water.

Sobelle found it strange but concluded that he was probably just the type of person to enjoy celebration. Her father was much the same. He was the only one in her family who had that sort of attitude, none of her siblings even acted that way.

'Family...' Sobelle looked at the people who were supposed to be by her side, the ones who were meant to appreciate her work rather than hate her for it. They all had fun without her. They probably didn't even notice she wasn't there. Larud and his wife danced with Ilver, both of them acting as though the other one was a woman, dancing, hip grabbing, and even resting their heads on the crook of the other's neck. It looked quite the romantic scene, and it would have been if it wasn't for them being men.

Their wives, Rell and Ilver, laughed and clapped at their little act, seemingly overjoyed by what they were seeing. Much like the children, Efree was nowhere to be seen, but Somie was present with her husband. The two of them silently talked by the campfire, Ralow nodded along while his wife told him things that Sobelle couldn't hear. Dorsh was with his friends. Sobelle noticed that a girl his age, Iss, was dancing suspiciously close to him. Would that go somewhere tonight? Sobelle did not know.

And she frankly did not care. It was for the best; Dorsh was secretive and has always kept his silence about various things and so, it wouldn't surprise her if he did not say anything about this either. Creyla was nowhere to be seen, and Sobelle could not care less about her. She could do whatever she wanted, really. The celebration went on and Sobelle slowly ate away at her meal.

She got up just as things turned high and the alcohol started to get inside of everyone's system, people were barely coherent as they talked and laughed at the smallest things. This was her time to go. She noticed footsteps coming from behind her when she passed the gates and turned to see Chael had tailed her. The merchant waved, "I think we need to fix your wounds before you sleep."

"That'd be good." Sobelle hoped that nothing bad happened to her body because of this. The wounds cut deep but they were being healed, which should make things better.

"Do you feel anything strange about them? Any itching, maybe slow pain?" Chael caught up to her and Sobelle resumed walking.

"It's close to your gut so it shouldn't be that bad, and I am healing it in the end."

"No, I feel nothing." Sobelle looked down at her stomach and even prodded at it for a few moments. She pulled her hand back and shook her head, "no itching or pain. Is that bad?"

"It's good. It means that your wound isn't going to rot." How Chael explained it made Sobelle feel like the merchant knew how to be a Leech. And that she had done it in the past. Just how many things did Chael know? She also knew how to cook on top of this.

"It should only be two weeks before everything turns out fine and you wouldn't need to worry about it as much."

"That's good." They were of the same age and yet Sobelle couldn't even be compared to Chael in skill.

"I hope that I heal properly."

"Me too, I can't imagine what'd happen if Goblins come here and you're injured." That was what Chael was worried about? Sobelle felt slightly disappointed.

"It would be bad, yes." Sobelle opened the door to her room and for once, did not enter it alone.

"Put the clamp over the door, I'm going to clean myself."

"Clean yourself?" Chael's voice was intertwined with the sound of snapping wood.

"What do you mean—wait! I—""What?" Sobelle tossed her shirt aside and unwrapped the bandages in her chest. It was dark and the candle hadn't been lit yet so she couldn't see Chael's face, which made it difficult to figure out why the merchant reacted the way she did.

"Is there anything wrong?"

"N-no, not at all!" Chael cleared her throat.

"Well, maybe? I need to light up the candle first, since it'll be hard for you to clean yourself without light."

"Mhmm. Thank you." Sobelle had so far only washed herself in the darkness so she did not mind the lack of lighting. But maybe Chael had a point?