Chương 11: Chapter 9: The “Manuals” are Missing Vital Information!

In Frankfurt, I checked into a hotel, ordered the largest coffee they had, opened my notebook, and made plans. -Visit Gates to raise my Gate Traveler level There were a lot of Gates on the Map. Seventeen in Europe, over thirty in the UK alone, which was odd considering how small it was, and twenty-three across the Americas. Australia had only four, while the Middle East and Central Asia together had six. India showed nine, the Far East seven, and China twelve by itself. Africa had twenty-one.

There was one at each pole, and eight more were scattered across random islands. I opted to skip the Middle Eastern Gates. There was one in Israel, but the others were in Iraq, Syria, Libya, Afghanistan, and Lebanon. With most of those places having some type of armed conflict, a trip for just one or two Gates didn't seem worth it. The islands and the poles were also out of the question. Spending days in the air or freezing my butt off didn't appeal to me. The UK Gates had a spooky black circle with a red skull.

I made a mental note to check the Archive later for clues. So, my total was 93 Gates, or 91, since I'd already visited two. Some Gates would probably be inaccessible, or the threat level would be too high. Still, it was a lot of Gates. There was no doubt I could raise my level quickly. My goal was to reach level 10 to explore the new possibilities that would open up. -Figure out my mana and health Not knowing how it worked bothered me.

My curiosity drove me crazy—I needed to understand what the system did to my body. Those books deserved another chance. After all, they had helped me find my profile. Sort of. This time, though, my focus would be on stories about people who had gone to another world. Even if they were pure fantasy, they would undoubtedly have useful ideas or help me make sense of things. -Handle all my financial and legal issues, and sell the house and cars This part would have to wait until I was back in the US.

-Make lists of what to take on my travels Some serious digging in the Archive would be necessary to find suggestions for personal comfort, items for sale, gifts, bribes, etc. Researching the Internet for information on camping, hunting, hiking, and similar activities would also be beneficial. Books were the easiest to tackle, so I returned to the forums for recommendations. In the past, my Kindle was full of professional literature and biographies, but now it looked like I was a teenager again.

After a week of reading, I concluded that my Health was a combination of Vitality and Constitution, each adding 50 points. But the mystery of my mana remained a mystery. It made little sense that my mana was tied to the Strength or Constitution stats, but those were the only two that didn't increase after discovering my mana. A fleeting thought hit me, and I facepalmed. While exploring my Personal Information, I reached the abilities list, got excited, and stopped there.

The answers may have been waiting in the other descriptions all along. I poked the word Mana on my profile, but nothing happened. Poked 66 and got a reaction. Current mana level Not helpful. I poked 3, 000 and got a message: Maximum mana capacity Still useless. Poking them again, separately and together, produced the same two messages repeatedly. Maybe my attributes will have the answer?

I poked Strength and got a BIG surprise: Strength Physical: This Trait determines the intensity of your force or power: how hard you can hit, how much you can lift, and how much resistance you can exert against another object. Mental: This Trait determines how well you withstand shock, stress, and pressure without breaking down or giving up. It reflects raw willpower and grit in the face of overwhelming force. I'd never seen anything like it in any of the books! The "manuals" left out vital information!

Agility Physical: This Trait determines your quickness and ease of motion, as well as your ability to control your body, speed, flexibility, and balance. It also affects your physical reaction time. Mental: This Trait reflects your ability to think quickly, adapt to new information, and draw conclusions on the fly. It influences your intellectual acuity and cognitive reaction time.

Constitution Physical: This Trait measures your body's ability to withstand fatigue and physical hardship, as well as its capacity to stay healthy and deal with injuries, disease, trauma, and harsh conditions. Mental: This Trait reflects your confidence and stability of self, as well as your ability to remain true to your ideals under outside pressure. If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Vitality Physical: This Trait determines your energy, vigor, and activity level.

It governs your longevity and influences how youthful and vibrant you remain over time. It also affects physical appearance, giving you a look that mirrors your vitality and overall life force. Mental: This Trait reflects your sense of aliveness, engagement with the world, and enjoyment of life. It encompasses your sense of wonder and excitement, with higher levels making you feel younger and more vibrant, helping you stay connected throughout a long life.

Intelligence Physical: This Trait governs your body's ability to detect and balance critical chemicals and hormones for optimal health. It influences how your body intuitively engages muscles, maintains good posture, and learns new movement skills. It also affects how quickly something becomes muscle memory. Mental: This Trait determines your capacity to learn, understand, and apply new knowledge.

It encompasses your ability to adapt to new or challenging situations, solve complex problems, and accurately infer or perceive information. High Intelligence allows you to learn spells faster and grasp underlying principles, truths, or meanings. Wisdom Physical: This Trait governs your body's ability to interpret sensory input, including how quickly you respond to pain, heat, or cold. It also affects how well your body recognizes and communicates its needs—such as movement, vitamins, sunlight, or rest—to thrive.

Mental: This Trait governs your ability to apply knowledge, especially in novel circumstances. It includes the capacity to make decisions based on a blend of knowledge, experience, and intuition, as well as learning from personal and others' experiences. High Wisdom enables the adaptation and combination of spells in innovative ways. Perception Physical: This Trait determines your body's awareness of environmental factors, such as heat, cold, or humidity.

It also governs the sharpness and health of your sensory organs, such as your eyes, ears, and nose. Additionally, it affects how quickly your body responds to sensory input, including reflexes and subtle changes in your surroundings, helping you stay alert and responsive. Mental: This Trait expands the range and acuity of your perception, encompassing not just physical senses but also intuitive ones, like the sense of danger or recognizing opportunities.

At a higher level, it enables you to perceive intentions, emotions, and divergent viewpoints during personal interactions. Wow, just wow! No mention of mana, but I had no complaints. This was amazing. Wait! Vitality mentioned longevity. Does this mean I'd live longer if I kept raising it? Affects physical appearance? I stepped into the bathroom, turned on the light, and looked in the mirror. The face staring back wasn't what I expected, and I froze. My hair, once light blond, was now even lighter.

It was almost white, or silver, as they politely call it. My eyes, which used to be purple-gray, also changed. Now they were more purple than gray, and they glowed slightly. But the most significant change was my skin—smooth, with no lines or signs of age. It was the same face that once made people do a double-take in the ER.

"Too young to be a doctor," they'd say. Patients often eyed me with suspicion, sometimes outright disbelief. Like I'd borrowed a white coat for a prank. The memory brought a small smile. Caring for Sophie in her final year, and the pain that followed her death, left deep marks on my face. The change was so stark that I avoided mirrors like the plague. I stopped shaving to skip the part where I had to lean in close and see the pain looking back at me.

When I brushed my teeth, I'd turn my head away, and even a glimpse in a shop window or a shiny surface was enough to make me look the other way. The man I saw back then was a stranger. Dark bags under my eyes from grief and sleepless nights, deep frown lines carved into my forehead, and a sickly gray tone to my skin that sunlight couldn't fix. My eyes were flat and lifeless. I looked older, as if I were pushing forty or more on my worst days. Every time I caught my reflection, it hit me all over again.

The pain of my loss. So I avoided it. IT WAS ALL GONE. My skin looked smooth and tight, as though the years had been ironed out. My fingers trembled as they touched my face. This couldn't be real. How is this possible? Every trace of stress and exhaustion had vanished, leaving a face that looked like it belonged to someone in his late twenties. I didn't look a day over twenty-seven or twenty-eight, maybe even younger. A version of myself I hadn't seen in years. A version I thought was lost for good.

I stared at my reflection, unable to process the change. My mouth gaped in disbelief. The frown lines, the bags, the dull, lifeless eyes were gone, as if they'd been nothing more than a bad dream. My mind went blank, caught between disbelief and shock, as if I were looking at a stranger who bore a resemblance to a memory from the distant past. The improbability hit me. Everything. The Gates, the magic, mana, other worlds, travel plans, all the stuff in the Archive, me being represented in numbers.

All of it crashed on me like an avalanche. I had spent half a year training, preparing, making lists, and building skills, but somehow it had all stayed an abstract idea. A plan on paper. Like looking at pictures for a trip you might never actually take. My mind had gone through the motions, but something in me had stayed detached, like it was all happening to someone else or a fever dream. Like I finally lost my mind from grief and loss and detached from reality. Maybe it was the shock.

Maybe it was the part of me that didn't fully believe it could be real, that I could be that lucky or special. But now, standing there with my face transformed and unrecognizable, the last barrier cracked. It became real in a way I couldn't ignore. My chest clenched, and hysterical laughter spilled out of me. It was too much, too absurd to hold in. So I laughed. I laughed like my body was trying to expel the weight of everything at once. And I couldn't stop. And then the tears came.

I cried with big, loud sobs that shook my body, like they were drawn up from the very center of my being. Something deep inside was fueling this release, and every time a new wave of energy surged up from my diaphragm, I cried harder. Each sob tore up from a place buried beneath layers of control and grief. The pain poured out of me as though a dam had finally broken, and everything it had been holding back now surged through, unstoppable and unfiltered.

All the pain and sorrow I'd buried deep inside and tried to forget erupted and pushed to the surface without restraint. My mother's death, the way her family didn't want me. The years in foster care, getting hit by other kids, and being ignored or punished by the adults. The bullying in high school, the names, the way they made sure I never forgot I didn't belong. My in-laws' constant hate, Sophie's illness, and her death. Losing her and the hole she left behind.

That feeling of being disconnected from the human race. All of it. Wave after wave rose from my diaphragm, pushing sorrow to the surface and amplifying the flood of emotion, dragging out even the grief I thought was buried too deep to reach. My body shook with each pulse of that rising tide. My tears and sobs overtook me completely, leaving no room for resistance or composure. Pain wrapped around me, and I cried louder, half shouting, each breath carrying another burst of emotion. It just kept coming.

I had no strength to hold it in. I cried and cried, letting it all wash through me. Every minute I wept felt necessary. A release. A farewell to this place, even though I hadn't left yet. It was cathartic. My tears finally stopped, leaving behind a strange, yet peaceful, emptiness. My emotions settled, and a fragile calm wrapped around me like a warm blanket. The release was exactly what I needed—a way to let go of everything I'd kept locked inside.

I felt lighter, like I'd set down some of the weight I'd been dragging around. The sorrow and pain were still there, but not as sharp. I washed my face and looked in the mirror. The youthful face was still there, now with red, swollen eyes. Exhausted, I dragged myself to bed, feeling something I hadn't felt in ages. As I drifted off, a small, cautious glimmer of hope sparked. A quiet sense that maybe, just maybe, I could heal and move on.