Chương 224: Chapter 245: Lunch with a Judge

As it turns out I did not need to kill the minister to speed things up at all. The homeroom teachers have finally made a formal announcement repealing the Stupid New Rules, except for the one that gave all second- and third-year students their weekend liberties. I am officially allowed to use as much magic as I want on campus. So I did decide to be a bit of an asshole about it.

Instead of some quad or back building or whatever I had Thumper meet me in the dining hall of the Student Center, the largest food-service facility on the campus, at their busiest time. The largest possible number of witnesses. I walked into the room, waved to Thumper, strolled right up to her, and led her straight through a portal that was entirely larger and more centrally-placed than it needed to be.

Flash blinding a hundred students is an asshole move but my fields of aura are plentiful and productive, great harvests of aura are reaped through such efforts. Some will think it was a cool move just to stick it to the administration, some will think it was a shitty and thoughtless thing for me to do. Gotta grow the legend. Thumper and I emerged on a rooftop of my acquaintance, right next to a waterfall that fell out of the hazy, distanceless sky.

The water poured down out of nowhere and crashed down into a fountain that swirled about, pulling the water down into the cisterns below, draining off quickly, but the fall threw up a cloud of mist that hung all about and left us cool and refreshed. And despite hundreds of gallons of water falling from hundreds of feet up, the sound was oddly muted, luxurious magics turning this majestic display from an earsplitting roar into a susurrating shush.

"Bloody blatherskite that does a number on your eyes!" Thumper yelled, and paused as her voice was almost entirely swallowed by the spell here. Her spirited cursing was now an unobtrusive whisper that carried no further than to my own ears. Did not stop her from furiously blinking the stars out of her vision. I stepped a little closer and held her arm while she recovered her equilibrium.

"Sorry about that. But this way we will finish lunch and be back at the campus by the start of next class. So, that's the upside."

"I'll grant it but dammit I'll be just as blind then, won't I?" she chuckled, her voice already finding the ironic and self-aware tone I'm used to. She stood straighter, and I moved my hand to her wrist to tug her along after me, away from the waterfall and over to the patio dining arrangement that was set up here on the roof of the White Waterfall Inn. This was my home between prison and dorms, and I had missed it. The reservation receptionist had remembered me when I dropped by to set this meeting up.

I always loved the dazzling set piece of their rooftop dining. So from a blaze of white light that turned the hanging mist into a curtain of sunlight, Thumper and I walked from the dimming mists to meet our guest.

"Sorry about being late," I said, smiling towards the seated figure.

"I trust you've ordered?"

"Your letter said the sharp of the hour and not to wait," said the other person here, as he stood and made a brief bow. I dipped at the knee and neck, and gestured him to sit. I helped Thumper to a seat, and she sat across from the middle-aged man with the friendly, jowly face and the receded hairline. We were getting our vision back still, but we were able to sit ourselves down.

"So, the infamous Princess Natalie Harigold," he said, savoring the words.

"I am honored you would seek me out, especially if you're treating me to a dinner at so fine a location."

"It's been a while since I dined here, and found myself craving it again," I admitted, and puffed all the clinging water off of our clothes and hair, pushing it back to the cloud that roiled nearby.

"So, Judge Jurrux, was it? The name feels a bit forced." He opened his serviette like a matador's cape and tucked it into his collar.

"Don't judge me," he said self-consciously as he bibbed himself.

"Food never makes it to my lap, only my shirt. Spreading napkins on my lap is just wishful thinking. To answer your whimsical question- I categorically refuse to reveal the degree to which hearing the word 'jurisprudence' influenced my back when I was just Barrister Jurrux. Gotta admit, doesn't have the same ring as 'Judge Jurrux'. Sometimes you gotta pick your path in life for what resonates." Thumper chuckled.

"Princess Natalie? It's all right but it doesn't ring. Duchess Natalie? Closer. Earl Natalie? Bleh. Maybe you need to stay focused on field sports.

'Captain Natalie' really has a great sound to it." I laughed brightly. You know what sounds better? Queen. Queen Natalie Harigold. That rings, that resonates. But this is not the time or place for such naked ambition. Telling people that you need to take over the kingdom in order to save the world from an existential threat is a real mood-killer at a friendly lunch meeting. The waiters swept over at the appropriate lull in conversation.

It's not just that they're well-trained, it's that the inn pays well enough that waitstaff can afford to stand by, watching a table and seeing the opportunity to move into a break in table-talk to get our orders. They came by with menus and slates but I was rapid-fire, I immediately ordered the soup of the day, the special of the day, a glass of water with a lemon wedge and a glass of sweetened lemonade. I asked if the judge had ordered wine yet, then asked them what the sommelier recommended.

They told me that there was a bottle of Liytcney 805 currently breathing, and I asked them to send up a glass for the judge. Some places, not all but some, are so damn good at what they do that you're best off just getting whatever the cook felt inspired to work on that day. This is not how I treat every restaurant, but the White Waterfall had absolutely earned my trust and so for them I just tell them to bring me whatever is special that day.

Thumper went through the menu and ordered a pasta with grilled chicken and a white sauce, which I can't fault because it's going to be good. And when the whitesleeves whisked away, we all sat back and got amiable.

"So, Miss Kuritan tells me you're currently in legal trouble," the judge said, smirking coyly.

"And that you have stubbornly and cruelly refused to join the Academy's debate club. I donate generously to that department, I'll have you know."

"And I'm sure they appreciate it," I said deferentially.

"But I cannot emphasize enough how much my time is already committed to other matters. And that if anyone ever encouraged me to argue more than I already do, it might break something fundamental."

"But you are in legal trouble?" he prompted. He was rather insistent that I follow the conversation he had planned and imagined. I had to interject.

"Specifically not in your circuit. I might be ready to ask for advice and assistance, but I'm definitely not offering a five-star dinner for a good verdict."

"Consider it," he told me, strongly.

"The magisters have been buying up every judge that could feasibly get your case assigned. Meals, vacations, new carriages, renovations of their homes. They're bringing in heavy lawyers, they're campaigning among the houses, making promises that you could never keep. They're trying to put leverage on the functionaries that take High Council rulings to the court, to see if there's wiggle room. They're not sitting back and they're not interested in playing fair."

"Perfect," I said with a vicious little grin.

"I want them to overextend themselves and overinvest into a fight they can't win." More to the point, a battle I've already won. This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there. Thumper nodded but did she not look like there was a lot of conviction in it.

"That's a sound strategy, both in fencing and debate. Getting someone to overcommit to a lunge they can't land is hands-down the best way to open up the whole body for a counter. And in debate, getting someone to go all-in on a contention you can cite out is a great move in opening remarks, midgame, closing, whatever. But, Natalie, you need to be really really sure that when you try that, that it is an attack you can beat. Otherwise, you just take it on the chin like a chump, right?

And from what I've been hearing, this is really high stakes, yeah?" She looked worried, or disappointed.

"Yes," I said, and then admitted, "honestly, too high. I know that I personally have a bad habit of escalating when I'm challenged, but it looks like Aumerje House has the same flaw. Every time I dial up the challenge, they invest more. I put more public attention on the flaws in their contract, they dump more money into publicity and representation. I villainize them, they try to bury me with their resources. But I understand the Aumerje to be extremely calculating and goal-oriented.

Individually they are very prideful but the overall culture of the House is cautious and prudent. They should have backed down by now." Thumper glanced between the judge and myself.

"So what does it mean?" I answered her myself.

"It means that for reasons I don't understand yet, this whole matter is more important to them than it should be. There's an element here that I'm missing." Jurrux harrumphed in.

"And you are more than smart enough to know that is a terrible position to negotiate from!"

"I'm not negotiating."

"All contract law is negotiation," Jurrux insisted.

"And it is a negotiation that you can lose, if you go in unprepared. I'll spot you a free hint: Nuur, the contract lawyer they've got? She's one of the best. And you, princess, have a regrettable habit of representing yourself in court. That means you personally will be negotiating against an institution. A weak position. From the brief I can tell that you've got every fact of the matter on your side, and I think that has clouded your feelings." I was starting to figure out where his attitude was coming from.

"You believe that if I am confident I must be wrong. You think this is so thoroughly decided that there is no way out for me." The judge doubled down.

"I can understand being confident in your case based on the facts at hand. Believe me I see it every day in my line of work. I'm constantly seeing people, often in your circumstance, who think their case cannot lose because every detail about the execution of law is on their side, along wtih common sense and basic decency. They walk into the courtroom believing that nobody could ever rule against them, and they leave devastated.

I'm not even in consideration for this case, but I will tell you that I disappoint people like that all the time. Furthermore every judge that the Aumerje and the magisters are leaning on or bribing to their cause, is going to be just as willing to throw over all tenets of professionalism and decency. I know that when judges like my peers are speaking publicly about our profession we make rather a great to-do about the integrity of the judge's decisions, but that is sort of a widely-understood lie."

- he said, as if I'm not already fully aware of how corrupt the Hearstcliff legal system is. Thumper nodded back in.

"What we learn in debate is mostly for fun and training. The parts it overlaps with actual law practice are mostly about convincing clients that we can win their case. We do understand that the outcome itself really depends on factors quite outside the courtroom itself. We're mostly there to make a convincing and entertaining spectacle in the hopes that will sway the aristocrats into supporting us, or convincing enough of the common citizens that they in turn put pressure on the aristocrats."

I saw the dishes incoming, carried in gleaming cloches by beaming caterers. I did give a little laugh, "Hah, yes, that is something that I did not fully understand first time I was on trial in Hearstcliff. I really had thought I could argue my way out of trouble. I've grown some since then." We had to take a little break there while everyone's meal was presented. The judge had ordered steak, a wedge of cheese and a slab of sourdough, basically just getting a burger from the five-star.

Hey, some people like the burger, can't fault them for it. I know that the White Waterfall gouges the price on their steak and sourdough plate because they know people will order it no matter what. Thumper got something very much like a chicken alfredo over linguine, but it seemed to have more peas in it than i would have expected. When they uncovered the soup in front of me I think I ascended to a higher plane for a second. The smell wafted out, aromatic and seasoned, with warmth and comfort.

It smelled like nostalgia and wistful remembrance. Thumper and Jurrux's faces both turned in my direction like my soup had strings tied to their noses and tugged with unstoppable force. They both opened their mouths to ask the same question. I did not give them the chance.

"Soup of the day, order your own," I told them. They immediately turned to the servers and called for two more bowls. I meanwhile brought my face down and put away as much of this as I could as fast as I could because god damn I was not going to take a chance that it might taste less good if it cooled off some. Now, housing in soup like that might be silent work, but it's not thoughtful work, and I had some time to turn over the stuff they had been saying.

And it was all things that I had considered for myself when I made my plans, but their input was valuable enough for me to reconsider. After all, this was an extremely high stakes gamble I was working on. My safety and freedom were at stake, and the fate of the world was not far behind it. And I was gambling all of this just because I was so determined to spite these bastards at a challenge that they had issued me. But, if I succeed, it'll guarantee that these fuckers never come after me again.

And if I really am a lich? That is absolutely the difference between life and death here. If I don't get these mages off my ass, permanently, they're going to be dogging my every move for the next four years, right up until the last fucking day, causing trouble for me. It'll be the day before The End and I'll still have to look over my shoulder to make sure the gods damned magister's guild is not still poking around trying to get me killed. That is a loose thread that I need to sew up, and the sooner the better.

And right now, I've got an opportunity to drag them out into the open and humiliate them so badly that they'll spend the rest of my life crossing the street to get away from me, and never again say a word in my presence. But what pisses me off is that this is an opportunity that I only have because Nathan was fucking with my egg-race tournament party.

Because of his backstabbing bullshit while I was distracted with the royals, now I've got the chance to drag the magisters out to an open confrontation, playing directly against my strengths, which will get them out of my hair for the next four years. And with that, sidetrack pretty much any investigation into my connection to necromancy. One of the most influential power blocs in the kingdom, and I can sideline them from my affairs permanently. But if this works?

Nathan's going to tell me that it's all part of his plan. And that I should have trusted him. This is the trap he sets for me: if he screws me over and I manage to overcome, he tells me that everything is according to plan and I should trust him more and give him more opportunities to screw with me. But it only takes one loss. Just one time that he sets me up for a fall and I can't get back up. Then it's all over.

Just one time that I die, or lose my resources, or get expelled, or get humiliated in front of everyone. Just one time that I lose badly enough that I can't come back from it. That's all it would take. And as long as I'm not permanently committed to a bad ending, he's going to smile like a big damn hero and do it again. He wouldn't do that, he's my brother and I should trust him! Except that I killed his girlfriend and admitted it to him. He's a nice guy and wouldn't do something like that!

Would I bet my life on that? But he's a real hero, through and through! But I have told him to his face that I'm a villain and he needs to stop me. And yet. Would I have such bulletproof support if it weren't for the displays at the egg race, at my birthday? Would I have even figured out how to kill Lachel if he hadn't messed with our grades? Would I have made so much money off the short-sell if the Freckentop trade minister had not blockaded the duchy?

What exactly would have happened at Quoissi's demonstration if Casser Swamman had not been there? I don't know. Is this another one of those? Or is this the one time that the system fails?

"I appreciate your advice, both of you," I said.

"But, unfortunately avoiding the problem is not an option." I blew out a slow breath, getting ready for the difficult part.

"I need your help. Both of you. Because once this gets started, nothing is going to be what it seems." I took a sip of my water and glanced, the coin was still spinning right where I left it. There's only one way to make sure that this is not a gambit from Nathan, I thought to myself. I took a bracing breath and looked from the judge to the fencing captain. He had gravy on his collar. I kept my voice low enough that the sound-suppression spells could cover me entirely.

"So, I need some very very specific legal advice. This needs to go perfectly."