Chương 190: Chapter 211: Worried

"The cheek!" Elica huffed angrily.

"The gall," I agreed, nodding.

"The nerve!" Larianne said, with a straight face but amusement in her voice.

"It's just a table," Vancy said, with a tiny cute crease between her eyebrows.

"It's the principle," said one of the least principled people I've ever met, my roommate Elica.

"How dare they! That is our table! We've sat there every night since the first week of classes! Just to rearrange tables for their billiard tournament?!" Her outrage was real even if it was entirely baseless. Vancy bit her lip.

"Well, they were very understanding when their tables were pushed back for the poker tournament..."

"That was different," Elica said sharply as she took a seat at a completely identical empty table on the opposite side of the room. Her tone did not invite anyone to ask why it was different, it just was. For the same reason that it's always different when it affects the selfish person. Oh Elica. Shine on you egotistical diamond. Larianne and Vancy took seats, and I found the last one for myself. I smoothed my skirts at the backs of my legs and sat, while Elica broke the seal on a new pack of cards.

We had to do that periodically, if she played with one deck for more than a few nights she'd start to memorize the patterns of nicks and scuffs and foxing that the cards inevitably pick up from being hand-shuffled, and when she did that she could read our cards as easily as if we played with them face up.

"It doesn't feel that different," Vancy said.

"Not the tournament thing, just... the table. It really is the same table." Elica shook her head as she divided the deck between her two hands, cut each half with a four-finger roll and tucked them back, then rejoined all four stacks into one deck again before she riffled, roofed, recut and fine-sorted the cards three times in less time than it took me to find a coaster for my drink.

Someday she's going to decide that reading tells and running odds isn't enough and she's going to start cheating, and I think that is going to end with the authorities outlawing all gambling or her owning Wanfarrun outright.

"It's not the same though," Elica bemoaned.

"Now when I see Larianne holding that perfect poker face while her fingers tell me she's bluffing, there's going to be a table-tennis match behind her instead of shuffleboard. Or when-" They're bantering, everything is okay. Larianne is quiet and only speaks up when her words are easily sorted in with everyone else. Vancy is sweet but not quite aware of all the implications. And Elica is being a bitch for no reason, but nobody is taking it personally.

Our new table today is over by the front doors, and the front windows, overlooking the quad. The blinds have been let down, dark-colored but sheer so the landscape could be seen through a dimming filter, as if this district had a real twilight. It was one of the things that encouraged everyone to gather here in the evenings, the windows helped trick the brain into thinking it's evening and time to wind down. Everyone had an easier time getting to sleep after an hour in the common room.

And right next to the front door, keeping gatekeeper's guard of the entrance, was our dorm's designated common-room chaperone: the faculty healer Licard. He was sitting on a four-legged stool of sturdy construction, reading a book he held with one hand while he kept the door, and most of the room, in peripheral vision. We've seen before how startlingly fast he can come up off that stool and burst into action if there's any kind of outburst or intrusion.

And when a guy that big moves that fast, it's something most don't forget anytime soon. Nobody really challenges his oversight. We've had lovelorn swains come around looking for an unapproved assignation with their sweetie, who turned around and marched right away from that door when Licard just adjusted his feet to show that he would stand up if they made one more step.

And when some table of chattering comrades got loud or disruptive, he could catch someone's eye from across the room and remind them all that they do not want more of his attention than they already have. There's a certain assumption people make when they see someone as physically imposing as Licard. For the first few meetings they usually respond with nervous trepidation, intimidated.

After that they tend to relax too much, and assume that just because the imposing individual has not yet acted in violence that means they're really a soft-hearted teddy bear who would never hurt a fly. Sometimes that's fine. Sometimes it means that someone as obviously intimidating as him needs to remind people to keep their distance. It's a strange paradox of human behavior that they would rather test the big guy just to find out. I've seen him throw a rock the size of my whole damn body at barbarian wizards.

I don't need reminding. He is actually scary and he's toning it down for our sakes. Also, he's definitely saved my life a couple of times and saved me from tons of nonlethal pain, so I respect his boundaries. Even if they need to be reminded, everyone respects his boundaries. And that is all part of why it was a bit surprising to me that he stood, tucked his paperback into a pocket, and picked up his stool to carry it over to us. He does not approach people, that's not his thing.

"Ladies," he said, nodding. He set down his stool next to our table and sat on it, and Elica's mouth pressed in an unhappy line. I know that part of her still resents when a commoner sits down in her presence without waiting for her leave, and the nearer to her seat they are the more it annoys her.

The rules and etiquettes around social-strata interactions are relaxed a lot at the school, and especially between students and faculty- school staff are in a position of care and authority over the students, and that muddles class relations. Still, her instincts tell her it's wrong for a man to walk up, acknowledge her, and then sit down without her reply. I understand a little, I was trained the same way.

Fortunately I was first raised in a society that does not care about that stuff, and the people that did teach me etiquette and propriety in this life were a hell of a lot nicer and more polite than whatever cruella de vil taught Elica how to behave in public.

"Licard," I said with a nod to him.

"I want to assure you that even though I am going on another delve this weekend I intend to come back uninjured this time."

"Must you?" Elica sounded pained.

"It's really bad enough that you continue to insist on working a job, a lady of your station, but you have to discuss it in front of me?" Larianne met my eyes. I met Licard's eyes. He and Larianne glanced. It was decided by mutual tacit understanding: we're gonna fuck with Elica.

"Oh, adventuring isn't so much a job as it is a calling," I said to her with a smile.

"The risk, the rewards, the long nights, the training, it's all so exhilarating!"

"And the time spent outdoors," Larianne added.

"Bracing." Her tone was too dry for droll but her eyes glinted with an impish mischief.

"Honestly even the dirt and the deprivation becomes rewarding once you've got the right attitude," Licard said, pushing further. Elica's eyes were pinching at the corners. I checked my hole cards and laid them flat again.

"I'm sure if Elica ever tried it she'd understand for herself. The tension and excitement, the stakes and winnings. Not that different from poker, but you're betting in blood and enjoying the outdoors." The earl in question sniffed haughtily.

"As opposed to poker, where you bet gold, far more precious. And if you wanted tension and excitement you'd bet money instead of chips." Larianne scoffed.

"The difference is that adventurers can actually win." Elica was already betting aggressively, and I had a bad feeling about this first hand. Vancy tried to find her way into the conversation.

"C'mon you guys! Knock it off, if you annoy her she starts playing mean and I want to have fun tonight!" I glanced over at Vancy.

"I've been meaning to ask, how have your crossbow classes been coming along? Maybe we could get you a share as a backline archer." She squinted at me, I think she meant for it to be a glare. Her face does not glare well.

"Leave me out of this, I don't want her mad at me too." She raised the ante as if to teach me a lesson. Licard cocked his head to the side, and now he was paying attention to me again.

"How are you so sure that this time you're not going to get injured?" he asked me.

"Any expedition has its risks, right?" I favored him a bright smile while I met Vancy's raise.

"I've got much more specific information this time. More puzzle-oriented, much less combat. The real risk is that it's subterranean so I won't be able to use my explosions freely. Pressure waves are more dangerous in confined spaces."

"Glad you recognize that at least," he said. Grouch. But he has healed enough perforated eardrums and bruised lungs for me, he's earned the right to talk some shit about my recklessness with compression attacks. I can't really deny him that. Instead I turned over my hole cards and watched Elica take the pot. I passed them over to the discard while she dealt out again. I glanced over at Licard, looking for some commiseration now.

"Also, my only partner on this run is a noncombatant, so I'll have to rebuild all my tactics around that. Much more cautious than what you've seen from me."

"Better be," Licard said.

"The Guild does not look favorably on adventurers that lose noncombatants during an escort mission, the school looks upon that even more harshly, and I'll be deeply annoyed by you if your hotheaded bullshit gets someone else killed." Vancy looked surprised.

"Is she really that hotheaded?" Healer Licard gave her a wry and sardonic expression.

"Natalie here woke us all up in the middle of the night by exploding about a hundred evil monkeys with no warning." Larianne tapped to check the bet.

"And she emptied her magic reserves for five seconds of lightning speed."

"After which she got us to knock her unconscious so she could access her final reserves," Licard added.

"Oh, and she invited Nux Gysmo, who is not just entirely mad, he's also a berserker," Larianne added. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Hmm, good point. Even inviting a berserker is an act of reckless endangerment on its own." I pushed three more chips to the center.

"That's not fair! Most of those were situations I had entirely under control!" I grimaced, because even I was aware of how weak that sounded. Larianne's elbow came down on the table, and she rested her chin in her palm. She flashed overly-innocent disingenuous eyes at me while her long bladelike talons cradled the side of her face gently.

"Natalie. Literally nobody else on that mission ever lost themselves to the hallucinations." The entirely-accurate summation from our most silent member hit hard, and she had the theatricality to make the most of it.

"An excellent point," Licard added.

"We almost did not get you back. You almost killed Nux and all the rest of us had at least one close call." I winced. I had almost forgotten that part. Apparently while I was hallucinating I was kind of a menace. Vancy and Elica were both staring at me with very clear expressions: worry and annoyance, respectively. I tried not to meet their eyes and instead took stock of the betting on the table.

"Who's the noncombatant?" Licard asked.

"Uh, Kurumi Lautan."

"Ah," he said, nodding.

"Salutatorian. The only person in your grade that even approaches your grades. You know if anything happens to her, everyone's going to assume you set it up to eliminate competition, right?"

"Not funny," I grumbled.

"Not kidding," he rebutted.

"They really would," Elica commented.

"I know the rumor mill of this school quite well. These days it does not act up for much other than deaths or disappearances, the most jaded grapevine I've ever seen. But when there are deaths, or disappearances, everyone loves a sordid theory. And you've already starred in enough fatal improprieties that someone would immediately assume the worst. And everyone loves spreading the most dynamic version of any rumor." She turned the final card and started the betting.

"Yes, well, I'm not going to let anything happen!" I said hotly, betting in with a clatter of chips.

"It's a handful of undead, a few traps, a few puzzles, it's going to be fine!" Okay, it's a lot of traps. But I've got a plan. Licard leaned, just enough movement to bring all my attention back to him.

"Natalie. How many people have died attempting this dungeon before you?"

"...

'l 'v 'm," I admitted softly.

"Again please?" he pressed.

"All of them," I spoke up. Elica's hand froze halfway to the ante, holding enough chips to call my bet. Weird. Normally nothing stops her in the middle of a bet. He let out a very patient breath.

"If multiple people have died doing this, then it is not safe, understand?" He paused, watching my eyes.

"And, you're not going to make yourself or Kurumi any safer by pretending otherwise. It makes people concerned when they see you being cavalier about this degree of danger." Ugh. Everyone ganging up on me. I have already told them that I've got the answers. They just need to press against me because I'm not reacting the way they would in my circumstances. But that's really not fair because I literally play by different rules than anyone else. He sat himself straight and stretched his back.

"Just... do think about it, all right? All I'm asking." While he was walking away, a silence dropped on our table. Elica dropped her chips in the kitty, and gave me a very blank and bland look.

"Natalie?" she said with a well-controlled voice.

"Exactly how many people have died trying what you're doing this weekend?"

"I don't know exactly," I admitted.

"Probably a dozen different parties, probably averaging five members?" Okay, so I'm seriously lowballing those estimates. I know for sure it's not less than that.

"Five dozen?" Vancy squeaked.

"Threescore?" Elica repeated, eyebrow raised.

"You mean to tell me that threescore professional adventurers and warriors have attempted this, and you, an Academy freshman, are going to attempt this alone save for the help of the Academy salutatorian?" I'm getting tired of explaining myself. They would all understand when I returned and everything was just fine. This is the real problem of letting people see me fail at anything, they start assuming I fail at everything. I did better when everyone really did think I was infallible.

Elica was weirdly quiet for the rest of the evening. And this was one of the only sessions we've sat that I beat her repeatedly at her own game.