Chương 99: [Mushroom Orcs. In Space.]

In Space.] The group's usual table was empty when they arrived, the eight of them finding their spots and relaxing after a busy morning of training. Leo looked over toward the bar and caught Lauren's eye. She gave a small nod and held up a finger. Be over in a sec. Parmo was busy winding Phil up saying he thought Luka could beat him easily if they sparred.

"No chance," Phil argued, "He won't even touch me, I'll have my sword at his neck while hes still trying to find the right way to hold his maul."

"You'll try. What is actually going to happen is I'll swing the maul and you'll hit the deck faster than you did when that car hit you," Luka said.

"Jesus dude." Laughed Sam.

"Isn't that a little harsh?" Rika asked.

"Nah," Luka said.

"I've heard worse, our mate Tony made a picture of him with a machine gun for a leg about a day after he had the accident. He's better than he's ever been, he doesn't mind right?"

"You guys hear that?" Phil asked.

"It's hard to make out anything Luka says from all the way down there." The group looked at him.

"Yeah, I know. That was terrible. It was out of my mouth before I thought about it, and nah I'm not bothered Rika. It's pretty funny."

"You're all so weird at times." Said Rika. Torren laughed.

"They remind me of how people from the Ironwood bicker. There's nothing wrong with friendly back and forth. It's a strength to be able to take a comment like that and not take it too seriously. Better to surround yourself with people like that than hot heads who jump at the first sign of a perceived slight." Shai smiled.

"You know what its like in the guard Rika. It might not be as harsh sounding at home but its the same sort of thing. Remember when Sara told Davan he'd have better luck getting Nessa to date him if he... wait a minute."

"Oh gods, do you think that was before they got together?" Asked Rika.

"Who can say with those two." Said Torren.

"That might have been her trying to get his attention. The both of them are as bad as each other."

"Well, they kind of suck at keeping it hidden." Said Phil, who was pointing at the pair in the corner, making eyes at each other.

"Yeah, the whole we hate each other thing isn't going to last much longer." Agreed Sam.

"Agnes mentioned it the other day actually. I suspect it'll come out any day now, I know others in the guard have noticed." Added Torren.

"What's with you and Agnes being so close recently?" Asked Rika. Torren shrugged.

"She's a wise lady. She's also showing me how to knit something called a bobble hat for when it gets colder." The lads looked at each other and laughed.

"Man, I can't wait to see that." Said Leo. Lauren arrived a moment later.

"Hey guys, how did training go. Still undefeated?"

"Yeah, it's going really well. Thanks Lauren." Said Luka.

"Awesome. Right, what are you having?" After taking everyone's order, she smiled and left.

"I can't wait to finally try D&D," said Rika.

"Shouldn't be long now." Said Sam, with a smile. The door opened and Ronan came in with Diane a step behind him, still talking.

"—and the thing is he just keeps winning," she was saying.

"Every time, somehow, against everything, that fucking horrible bastard finds a way. There's that bit with Kharn, oh I love that bit, but yeah he's awful." Ronan looked like a man who had been personally wronged by someone he'd never met.

"I'm surprised no one's killed him yet."

"GW knows people love to hate him. He's essentially space Judas—""What, is a space Judas?" She stopped when she reached the table, noticing eight faces looking at them.

"Erebus?" Leo said. Diane pointed at him.

"Erebus." They reached the table and Ronan pulled a chair over from the nearest empty table, Diane sat down and he pushed it in before grabbing one for himself. This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Thanks Ronan," Diane said with a grin.

"You realise there are other empty tables?" Sam said.

"I like this one. It would be better if nerds like you weren't here though," Diane said, looking at the others.

"Hey guys, lovely to see you all again."

"Sam." She turned to look at him fully.

"I spent the last six days messing with soil samples and somehow I feel dirtier after being near you for a few seconds."

"Ouch. Burn," said Parmo, with a smirk.

"You'd think you were used to rolling around in, sorry 'messing with' dirt by now," Sam said, hitting right back.

"Ooh, nice return," said Parmo, miming eating popcorn. Before Diane could say something else, Luka spoke up.

"So, did you find out why the crops are growing so fast?" She paused and looked down the table to where Torren was sitting.

"Actually," she said, "I wanted to ask Torren something first." Torren raised his eyebrows.

"When the people here farm," she said, "how do they do it? What goes into it beyond the basics, sun, water, that sort of thing?" Torren considered this.

"Magic, mostly. Stimulating the mana in the soil. It encourages growth, speeds up the process. Most places that can will use it."

"Does it work the same everywhere?"

"No," he said.

"Some places respond better than others. No one's entirely sure why." Diane nodded slowly.

"And the places that respond better, do they tend to have animals nearby? Livestock, that sort of thing, kept close to the fields through the year?" Torren frowned.

"I'm not sure. Possibly. I hadn't thought about it." Leo could see where she was going. He'd read enough isekai to recognise the shape of it.

"Right," Diane said, looking around the table.

"So here's what I think is happening. The people of this world use magic to grow crops. It works well enough that they've never needed to discover what we figured out on Earth a few centuries ago, which is that what you put into the soil matters as much as what you pull out of it." She paused.

"They don't rotate crops in any systematic way. No equivalent of the Norfolk four course system, nothing that lets the soil rest and replenish. And they don't use fertiliser."

"So the fertiliser is turbocharging the magic," Luka said.

"Exactly," Diane confirmed.

"Animals kept near fields, their waste breaks down into the soil, enriches it, puts back what the crops take out. Do that consistently and the soil responds. Magic on top of enriched soil performs completely differently to magic on depleted soil. That's why some places grow better than others and nobody here knew why." Torren stared at her.

"If you're right then..."

"Yeah, gamechanger. I know," she said.

"If we can learn to do this, that's going to make the whole of the border a far easier place to get by," Torren said slowly.

"We have the advantage that we landed on virgin soil," Diane said.

"As far as I can tell, it's never been farmed, so the soil is rich in nutrients. The growth should continue as long as we don't overdo the planting, that would ruin the soil a lot faster than normal. It's all about balance." She picked up her drink.

"Terry's measured it three times. I've checked his numbers twice. The growth rate is roughly three times what it should be." The table went quiet at that last bit of information.

"Does that mean, we've more or less fixed the food problem?" Phil asked.

"Not yet," Diane said.

"The bagged fertiliser we had in the shops won't last forever and we'll need to work out a proper system. But yes. If we do this right, we can feed ourselves." Leo looked at Torren. The half orc was sitting very still, his mind clearly elsewhere.

"I'm going to Mike after this," Diane said.

"He'll want to know straight away," Shai said.

"That's the idea." Sam looked at Diane for a moment then shook his head.

"Fuck. Yeah ok, nicely done." She looked at him.

"Was that a compliment?"

"Forget I said anything." The corner of her mouth moved. She went back to her drink.

"Ronan," Phil said.

"You've watched all four of us in the pit. If we did a round robin tournament, one bout each pairing, who wins?" Ronan looked at him.

"Magic or no magic?"

"Both," Phil said.

"Magic allowed, Luka and Sam," Ronan said.

"The shield stops most of what you can throw and then it's a maul at close range. Sam, if he gets the fog down and uses Phantasm, none of you are finding him."

"No magic," Ronan continued, "I'd lean Leo or Sam. The one on one work with their trainers is going to edge it. The footwork especially."

"You think I'd lose both," Phil said.

"Yes. Not because you're worse than them. they have small advantages I think are big enough to make a difference this early into your training. Ask me again in a few weeks and I might have a different answer," Ronan said. Phil looked at him.

"I think you're wrong." Ronan leaned forward, elbows on the table, and held Phil's gaze.

"Yeah? Then prove it." he said. Phil grinned.

"Sure, don't be disappointed when I prove you wrong though." Ronan winked. Torren finished thinking about whatever had him distracted and looked at Ronan.

"Ronan," he said.

"Yes, Torren?"

"Agnes mentioned something interesting the other day. About how you've been visiting Diane here at her lab. A lot. Care to comment?" Ronan looked at Torren. Beside him Diane glanced up from her drink. The two of them looked at each other and then back at Torren. Rika sighed.

"We're not getting anything out of them are we."

"Probably not," Torren said, unbothered. Ronan spread his hands.

"I like Diane's company. Is that so wrong?" He paused.

"Also I've learned an awful lot about the Warhammer. Fascinating stuff."

"It really is," Diane said, with complete sincerity. Sam groaned.

"Something to add?" Diane said.

"No," Sam said. Ronan looked at Torren.

"Did you know that in the Warhammer, orcs are a kind of mushroom?" Torren stared at him. Shai looked up from her mug. Rika's head turned slowly.

"Sorry?"

"Fungal spores," Ronan said.

"They reproduce by dying essentially. The spores spread and new ones grow." Torren looked at Leo.

"It's a game. And a series of books," Leo said.

"The orcs in it are a fictional species."

"Very detailed fictional species," Ronan said.

"Diane was telling me there are two versions. One is fantasy, a little like where we live, one is set in space." Torren frowned.

"Space?"

"The void," Leo said.

"Between the stars."

"You can go there?" Shai asked. She'd put her mug down.

"In our world, yes. Not easily and not far but yes."

"The stars," Rika said slowly.

"You mean the ones in the sky at night?"

"They're suns," Sam said.

"The same as ours. Just very far away." The three of them went quiet. Torren looked up instinctively, then remembered he was inside.

"Each one?" Torren said.

"Yup, Some are so far away, the light we see when we see stars is light that left that sun millions of years ago," Leo said.

"My head hurts..." said Rika.

"And in the Warhammer," Ronan said, "the orcs are out there too. In the void. On other worlds. Millions of them." Rika stared at the table.

"Mushroom orcs. In the void."

"Mushroom orcs," Ronan agreed. Torren was quiet for a long moment.

"I'm going to need to read some of these books." Ronan sat back. Diane smirked at him. Shai caught Leo's eye across the table. She smiled before going back to her drink, tail swaying once. Leo looked away before he did something stupid with his face.