Chương 80: Catastrophe

Another rustle of leaves, and Kasia took two steps back. I tried to focus using [Mēnē's Watchful Eye], but my perception didn't reach far enough. The constantly distorting mana also made it very difficult to focus. Of course I would pick a skill that made my situation worse somehow, not even a day after choosing it. One thing became very clear to me though; this was chaos magic. I shot a quick glance at Vasil, who was slowly shuffling backwards with Kasia.

"Chaos magic," I said, feeling foolish for not having recognized it sooner.

"The tree is saturated with it."

"Chaos magic is exceedingly rare in Silesia," Vasil said.

"Obviously, the Church does not allow it."

"Obviously," I said. Even back in Graecia chaos magic was frowned upon. Dolion, "The Sly One" was the only god who dabbled in it, and he didn't have too many followers. Chaos was simply too unpredictable for most people. Powerful, yes, but risky. And while you might expect Oinoros, the god of wine, revelry, and freedom to not be opposed to a bit of chaos, his chaos was of a different kind. Interestingly his followers often were heavily invested in Stamina, since it allowed you to drink longer and reduced hangovers.

Graecians loved their wine. That did make me wonder about Phisto, though. Surely my mother would have known he was a [Purrveyor of Chaos], and going by that name I'd assume he'd be heavily invested in it. On the other hand, I'd never noticed him doing anything particularly strange; he was just a cat being a cat most of the time. Either way I'd have to have a conversation with him when we got back to the cathedral. Could the cat in the tree be responsible for this? Were all cats somehow connected to chaos?

It would explain the attitude. I peered into the tree again, looking for any sign of the cat, but I saw nothing.

"Hey, cat!" I yelled.

"You in there? I'm here to save you." Another rustle and an orange cat head popped up from between the leaves." Save me?"

"I heard you need saving."

"Does it look like I need saving?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. Maybe he really was a [Purrveyor of Chaos] and somehow posted the quest himself in order to farm people for experience. I decided to cast [Soul Index] just to be sure. [???] Status:??? That was the first time my skill didn't return anything. Could it be disrupted by the unstable mana, or did he have some kind of skill? The cat laughed at that, so I figured he knew what just happened.

"Care to give an explanation?" I asked. The cat grinned.

"No."

"You a [Purrveyor of Chaos] by any chance?" The cat laughed again, louder this time.

"There's only one with that class, and it's definitely not me." What? Only one? Did he know Phisto somehow? How would a cat all the way out here know of him? We really needed to have a conversation when I got back.

"You don't happen to know a black cat named Phisto, do you?" I asked. He frowned.

"Phisto?"

"Meowphistopheles." If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. His eyes widened at that.

"Who are you? How do you know him?"

"I'm Hecate of Asteria. Meowphistopheles is my cat." He narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying it.

"Buuuuullll shit!"

"Are you going to tell me how you know him?"

"No."

"Alright then. The reward for getting you out of this tree is a Vortex runestone, so I'm going to get you out."

"You… uh… can't."

"What do you mean, I can't? I can, and I will." He shook his head.

"You don't understand. The tree won't allow it. It won't let me go." I sighed. Of course there would be some nonsense.

"And why won't it let you go?" The cat grimaced.

"I may have inserted a chaos seed into it, and it may have gained a bit of personality afterwards. Now it won't let me go."

"Why would you do a thing like that?"

"I just thought it would be funny." Yeah, alright. Sounded exactly like the type of person Phisto would love hanging out with. They were probably old drinking buddies or something.

"Do you still think it's funny?" I asked.

"A little bit. But also not really."

"Can't you just ask the tree to let you go?"

"It's only semi-sentient." So it looked like I was going to have to fight a tree. How does one fight a tree, exactly? It would take a lot of shots to cut it down. I also assumed that if it was capable of holding the cat, it would be capable of attacking me somehow, though it didn't show any movement at the moment. The cat was pretty high up, and I wasn't much of a climber. Maybe I could [Blink] in, quickly grab it, and [Blink] out? Sounded simple enough.

"Hold on," I said.

"I'm coming up there."

"I don't think you understand," the cat said. I waved him off.

"Coming up." I quickly blinked onto a branch near the cat. I could see the tree had some type of vines loosely wrapped around it. He didn't look that stuck. I'd probably be able to pull him out and call it a day. The tree also didn't react to me at all, so maybe he had exaggerated just how much of a personality it had developed, or maybe he simply didn't want to leave and had made up a story to keep me from trying to take him. Should I just jump over there or should I [Blink]?

I would look pretty silly if I jumped and slipped and fell down somehow, so I decided the safest option was to simply [Blink]. I blinked over to the branch he was on and immediately all my senses screamed in high alert. The next moment a thick branch slammed into my face with a loud crack and I crashed into the ground below. I was fine, thanks to [Mana Shield], but the attack had taken a chunk out of my mana. I ran my hand over my mask and felt there was a fracture in it. Shit.

Another hit like that and the mask would probably be toast, which would be pretty inconvenient if I wanted to collect that runestone. Would be pretty inconvenient in general, since everyone would be trying to kill me if they saw what I looked like. Since the tree had turned out to be deceptively fast for a tree, I had to rethink my strategy. Now it knew I was coming for the cat, it wouldn't really matter how fast I was, because I was always going to have to get him from the same spot.

As soon as I cast [Blink] all the tree had to do was whip its branches in the general area of the cat, and I'd be on a return trip to the dirt. What if I just shoot the cat? They have nine lives right? If he died the tree would surely have no reason to keep holding him, and would drop him to the floor. He could probably spare one if it meant getting free from the tree. I wasn't sure if he'd be willing to give up one of his lives for that, but I was certainly willing to give up one of his lives to get a Vortex rune.

"Hey, cat! How many lives you got left?"

"Fuck you! I know what you're thinking! You're thinking about shooting me so the tree will drop me."

"Totally wasn't!"

"I can see it in your eyes!"

"I would never! How many lives, though?"

"Fuck you!" I glanced back at Kasia and Vasil.

"You think he bought it?" They both just stared at me.

"I could just burn the tree down," I told the cat.

"What? No! That would still kill me!"

"I highly doubt that. I see two possible scenarios: one, the tree catches fire and dies, which causes it to release its grasp. Two, the tree starts slapping out the flames with its branches, which would also cause it to release you, dropping you to the floor."

"Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? You see how high this is? I'd break every bone in my body and still die!" the cat screeched. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, dude. Cats always land on their feet, haven't you heard?"

"Don't mock me! If I land on my feet from this height I'd break my damn legs, you idiot! And after that the rest of me would hit the ground and I'd be smashed into paste. That would kill me, in case your dumb ass didn't get that." I gasped." What did you just say to me?"

"Uh oh, he shouldn't have said that," Vasil said.

"I said you're a fucking dumbass, dumbass!" the cat screamed.

"The quest didn't specify you had to be delivered in one piece, you son of a bitch!" I pulled Pavel's head from my belt and dropped it in the satchel, then I grabbed the bear totem and attached it to the revolver that already had Lubomir, the [Flame Adept]'s head on it.

"You better hope you have more than one life left you little bastard, cause I'm about to turn you into a cat-astrophe!"