Chương 51: They're Ugly Now, So It's Alright

Moryana looked confused.

"I don't understand what's going on." Poor girl, so slow on the uptake. She must have had a hard life… when she was still alive. Or maybe this was leftover damage from lack of oxygen, from the whole being drowned thing. Maybe her brain had started to rot a little. Undeath probably wasn't great for cognitive performance. Either way, I was glad she'd found a kindred spirit in Kuba.

"Well," I started.

"Now that you've met everyone, I have a fun activity for you. One that will also impress Kuba."

"It will?" Kuba asked.

"Yeah! Just a little further into the swamp there's this patch of water a bwotnik used to call home. Tragically, and completely unexpectedly, the poor creature met his end. In his final moments, as he lay dying in my arms, he told me he wanted me to have his hoard." I decided to omit the part where I was the one who killed him. Since Moryana was apparently also a drowny swamp monster, for all I knew they had weekly get-togethers. Or maybe they were rivals.

Maybe they competed for fresh drownees like fishermen competing for trout. You could only drown someone once, after all. Moryana stared at me blankly.

"I want you to dive in there and bring me the whole hoard," I said. She frowned.

"This will impress Kuba?" I nodded enthusiastically.

"Absolutely." She looked at Kuba. He gave a shrug.

"Trust me," I added. It probably wouldn't impress anyone, but it would hopefully give me a pile of magical items. Vasil had also mentioned there was an axe down there, and carpenters liked axes, right? Kuba didn't have one with him, which raised the question of how he was cutting down trees in the first place. Was he punching them? Jerking them out by the roots? Running into them headfirst? (Would explain the brain damage.) Only using trees that fell over naturally so he didn't offend the others?

Only the gods knew. I walked up to Moryana and put my arm around her. She didn't feel or smell gross or corpsy so that was a plus if we were going to have her around from now on.

"There's a beautiful axe down there you could give to Kuba," I whispered.

"Carpenters love axes." She nodded slowly and whispered back, "They do, don't they." I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Love 'em."

"Can we go right now?"

"Hmmm. If you insist. You don't happen to be super skilled at opening locks, do you?"

"What?"

"Never mind," I said, already pulling her toward the doorhole.

"Kuba, you come too." Luckily the bwotnik's old ambush puddle—or whatever you'd like to call it—was close to the cathedral so we got there quickly.

"Okay," I said.

"Everything you bring up from down there goes to me. Except the axe. You can give that to Kuba to celebrate your blossoming relationship. Consider it my engagement gift." I put my hand on Kuba's shoulder.

"Now, you have a very important job. All the stuff she brings up, you carry back to the cathedral."

"What will you be doing?" he asked.

"I will be doing other important things. Besides, I simply don't have the Strength required to carry all that stuff." He nodded.

"Makes sense." Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

"And you," I said pointing at Moryana.

"Don't try to drown Kuba." She looked disappointed.

"Not even a little bit?"

"Sure, drown him a little bit." She lit up.

"Really?"

"No."

I left Kuba and Moryana at the hoard. She probably wasn't going to try to drown him so I figured he'd be safe enough, and they didn't need me supervising the dive. When I got back to the cathedral Vasil was already waiting for me.

"What is going on?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you bring a murderous spirit to the cathedral? You know she is going to try to kill all of us sooner or later, right?" I shook my head.

"Vasil, I'm disappointed in you. Why so negative? She's not going to kill all of us. If she's going to try to kill anyone, it'll be Kuba."

"And you are alright with that?" I shrugged.

"I'm sure he'll survive." Vasil stared at me with his frog face like he wanted to say something, but he didn't.

"Besides," I said.

"You did say I needed allies. I found another ally."

"If you think you can control her, she could be a powerful ally."

"Please. I already have a perfectly elegant solution in place to keep her in check."

"You will shoot her in the face if she tries anything?"

"Exactly!"

"Well… I don't know if it is elegant…" I pointed at him.

"Look Vasil, I don't understand why you're acting like this. She's bringing up the bwotnik's hoard as we speak. Kuba is going to carry it here. We're going to be powerful as shit!" The eyebrow-like markings above his eyes went up.

"Huh. That is actually pretty clever…" I scoffed." Pretty clever? I'm a damn genius!"

"Have you thought about how you're going to open the chest?" I held up the revolver with the bear totem and shook it in front of his face.

"Obviously."

"That is your solution for everything."

"It is the solution for everything." Mentally done with the conversation, I started thinking about better uses of my time. I still hadn't asked Skelly to look for books, and the vault plus the nine-door room were just sitting there, waiting for me to crack them open. Those would probably give me more power than the bwotnik's hoard anyway. If someone got killed by that thing, they couldn't have been that strong. I mean, you'd have to be an idiot to get dragged underwater by that guy.

I, of course, had been caught off guard. That was not the same as being an idiot. Not even close. If Vasil hadn't distracted me none of that would have happened. Besides, it's not like I almost died. The bwotnik had been incredibly strong, that's true. Probably one of the strongest things in the swamp. I wouldn't dare guess its level. Anyone would have struggled, but I was in complete control of the situation the entire time and dispatched it easily. I sniffed the air. Something smelled... good?

I followed the scent to the kitchen. The vast stone space still looked mostly empty—massive hearth, old stone ovens, empty spaces where preparation tables had probably once stood. But Kasia had cleaned a section near the hearth and set up a cooking area. Phisto was already there, doing some kind of anticipatory dance in place. Kasia stood by the fire, tending to several rabbits roasting on spits.

"You caught rabbits?" I asked. She nodded.

"My father taught me how to trap them. He was really good at it." She paused, then her expression fell.

"He died in a logging accident a few years ago." She looked at the floor.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the mood." I frowned. That was odd, wasn't it? Someone who worked with trees for a living dying in a logging accident? Wouldn't they build their class around preventing exactly that kind of thing? Then again, accidents happened. Maybe a tree fell weird. Maybe he got distracted. Maybe— I dismissed the thought. No use thinking of hypothetical situations for something that happened years ago.

"Well," I said.

"You've just made me very happy, Kasia. Finally something that isn't swamp fish." Phisto turned to me.

"You're always complaining about these fucking fish. If you hate swamp fish so much, why haven't you caught any rabbits yourself?"

"They're too cute," I said.

"I can only shoot ugly or stupid-looking things. Like swamp fish. Or people. If I shot a deer or a rabbit, I'd feel bad."

"But you don't feel bad eating them?"

"Oh no. Why would I? I don't have to see their innocent little faces staring at me with those big eyes when they're like this." I gestured at the roasting meat.

"And it would be disrespectful not to honor their sacrifice by eating them." Phisto looked at the rabbits. Then back at me.

"See," I said.

"They're ugly now, so it's alright." Phisto looked at the rabbits again. Then at the floor for a couple of seconds. Then back at me.

"Sure, Hecate." Kasia handed me a piece of the rabbit. I took a bite. It was tender and delicious and good.

"This is wonderful," I said.

"Praise Mēnē." Kasia paused.

"Who's Mēnē?"

"Right. You guys here only have Stvora." I swallowed.

"Mēnē. The Moon. Twin sister of Pyrion, the Sun. Goddess of the moon, secrets, silence, dreams." I pointed at my eyes.

"She's the reason my eyes look like this." Kasia stared at me. Her mouth opened slightly.

"There are... other gods?"

"Yeah. Lots of them. In Graecia, anyway."

"Lots of them?" Her voice got quieter.

"How many?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. Twelve 'major' ones. Mēnē is generally considered one of the minor ones. Though not by me, of course. Then there's the famous nature spirits. River gods. That kind of thing." She looked at me like I'd just told her the sky was green and grass was blue.

"But... Stvora is the only god. The Church says—""The Church says a lot of things," I said, taking another bite of rabbit.