Chương 12: IF I WERE A GUY

My dad liked to say that school was where young people discovered their place in the world. Let's just say I found this statement confusing at best, and somewhat depressing. What if I didn't like what I was discovering about my place? What if I didn't like my place in the world? If Henry was the alpha, Marcus was the beta, Liam was the gamma, and Jasmine was our baby sister, I wondered what that made me? Where did I stand in this pack? It's not just in this little pack at school.

I had trouble with placement within my own home pack. I was the Alpha's firstborn, but my dad had only daughters. By default, based on our unfailing Lycan tradition, that would place me as the future Luna. But my dad trained me from young to be an Alpha. My dad didn't want to automatically transfer the pack to who-knows-who the Moon Goddess would match-make me with. Not his style. What if he turned out to be an omega? (What if he turned out to be a merman? omo) And if my mate did turn out to be the stronger alpha male who would rightfully lead me and our pack, that brought on a whole new dimension of considerations for my dad. Strong alpha males were particularly possessive, overbearing, short-tempered, aggressive... (Well, my dad would know - since I'm very sure he used a mirror at home! Hahaha) Following this logical train of thought, given that our alpha bloodline was from a powerful lineage (and the fact that I've inherited a good amount of it), if my mate was strong enough to emerge dominant, he could well be a monster to live with. In which case my dad had reasoned, training me as an alpha instead of a Luna would ensure me the best fighting chance of protecting my own happiness.

"Education is the best gift a parent can give their children." — Another thing my dad liked to say. Of course, my dad just had to give me the best. So alpha education it was. The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident. But now, where did that leave me when I'm running in a pack? If I were a boy, I would definitely be the alpha, no matter what pack I was in. My name would be listed first on our project poster. I'm definitely stronger than Henry, and he knew it.

But I'm not a boy. And before you start booing and getting your panties in a twist over women's rights, I don't think Jasmine or the others were purposely practicing gender inequality. It just happened. Instinctively, they submitted to me, but intuitively, they still kept me under Henry's protection. It was just nature versus nurture playing out without too much long-term thinking on their part. For goddess' sake, they were just writing down our names for a group work poster!

So why was I thinking so much into it now? I suddenly remembered Maria's words, "You look like a girl, but you think like a cool guy."

"If you were a guy, I bet you'll have a lot of girlfriends." interrupted Jasmine suddenly. I startled, and then looked at her nonplussed. We were sitting in history class, waiting for our elusive teacher to show up, or Liam to return from the staff room with good tidings of his sick leave. Jasmine had been staring at me for a while before suddenly declaring this. I had no idea what was going through her head. I'm not a boy. I don't even look like a boy. I couldn't see the point of her comment.

"If Sam was a guy, would you date her?" Henry asked. Henry had somewhat warmed up to us, and had proven to be the kind of guy with a sense of humor. Jasmine didn't hesitate, "Yes!" I narrowed my eyes at her, but she only giggled. Jasmine had proven herself to be the kind of girl who liked to play with fire.

"If Sam was a guy, I'd date her," Marcus mumbled, "I mean, if I were a girl. And Sam was a guy. I mean—" Henry raised a brow at that.

"You know what I mean!" Marcus barked out. Marcus had proven himself to be the kind of guy who was fun to tease. Liam returned with good news. The class erupted in cheers.

"Liam! Football!" The boys got up in a mass movement with all its accompanying noises, "Come on Liam!" The classroom quieted after Liam led most of the kids out. Guys yelling about football, girls tagging along giggling... I don't know why, but the human girls in our class liked watching football and talking about a host of non-football related subjects, such as Liam. Yes, Liam was now a standard conversational topic among the student population in this school.

Liam had proven himself to be the kind of guy who was really popular. But then, we already knew that.

"Did you know that Liam is now the most popular guy in school?" Jasmine decided to update us on school news.

"He is even more popular than the second-year guy Arlene is dating now." Most school news read like a gossip paper, and I usually pretended not to pay attention. But then Jasmine dropped her voice to a wolf whisper, forcing Henry, Marcus and I to instinctively lean over to hear it: "Arlene is dating a vampire."