Chương 9: Chapter Eight

Saturday October 8th I woke up with sunlight stabbing me in the eyes and a strange feeling in my stomach. After almost a week of my life falling apart it took me a moment to place it. Excitement. I wanted to get up and get back to it. I had a goal and I was excited to jump in and master whatever this was. My stomach growled, reminding me I'd barely eaten in the past week. I pulled myself up off of the couch and stepped right into a half eaten piece of pizza.

I grimaced and peeled the pizza off of the bottom of my foot. I could see the code underlying reality. I could change the color of objects. And yet I was an adult with old pizza on her foot. I wrinkled my nose. Maybe Kate was right. I needed to grocery shop for more than frozen meals. I needed to have a space that was comfortable, and practical. If my life was going to be weird now I might as well lean into it. I opened my refrigerator and peeked inside.

"I really need to throw this out." I muttered pushing aside a container that was close to sentience. The remainder of the contents were milk past its date and three different hot sauces. The cupboards weren't much better. I guess the shopping thing was going to have to happen sooner rather than later. I pulled up my account. I had $4, 127 in my checking and about $15, 000 liquid in my savings.

Luckily I'd paid off my car and student loans so I could survive off of this alone for a few months if I continued to be careful. Or, I could completely transform my life if I wasn't. I thought about Kate's eyes when she noticed the walls. The way they'd gone wide and looked so impressed. She had spent years trying to get me to decorate or take more of an active role in my life.

I could manipulate the fabric of reality, I could see the code of the universe or at least the small corner of it that included my sad apartment. And here I was eating nothing for breakfast, staring at a coffee maker I hadn't thrown away or replaced looking at furniture that was very uncomfortable in a space that was barely acceptable to look at (Nicolas Cage withstanding). I transferred money out of my savings. Got ready, grabbed my keys and then headed out the door. Time to go shopping.

The first stop was Target, because where else do you go when you want to impulse-buy your way through an existential crisis? I stopped for some shopping-coffee and let Target lead me and tell me what I needed. It'd been some years since I'd gotten anything new and I began grabbing everything one would need in a recreating-yourself-because-you-got-fired-and-then-discovered-superpowers-way. I got several eyeshadow palettes, mascara, kiss me lipstick, and a few other things that caught my eye.

Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator. I moved into the clothing section and decided to avoid any and everything black and grey. A very cute top in my size caught my eye. It was cut in a flattering style but the only issue was that it was in a plain neutral grey. Old Sam definitely would have gone for grey. New Sam though? I felt the cool fabric as it pooled around my fingers.

I was looking for things that would draw attention to me rather than allow me to fade into the background. If I was going to find someone to take to Thanksgiving I probably should start soon. After making sure no one was around I concentrated on the shirt. I found the familiar section in the code that controlled color and I morphed the symbol until the shirt became a deep red. I smiled to myself and worked my way over to intimates.

I picked out lingerie mostly because I hadn't refreshed in awhile and didn't want to embarrass myself should I happen to find myself a date. You know, just in case. Moving over into homegoods I found some throw pillows that were soft and reminded me of teddy bears. I grabbed some curtains that I liked the style of and fit my windows but were only available in a hideous mustard color. Perfect, practice pieces. I also picked out a handful of plants that I was hoping that I wouldn't kill.

One even appeared to be blooming and I peered close at the tiny pink bud. I grabbed a coffee maker, and a coffee grinder. Browsing around in the kitchen section I realized I had very little in the way of cooking or baking. I added a basic set of pots and pans, some rubber utensils and a baking sheet. I also decided that an air fryer would be a good addition. On my way to the electronics section I walked past the wall decor.

I grabbed a clock, I don't know why–everyone has a clock in their pocket and on the microwave and on the oven and yet, a clock seemed to be a normal thing to have. I picked up a couple of more abstract art prints that I thought would look very nice with the ice blue walls (Sorry Nicolas, you've got to go). My cart was overflowing, but the electronics section was the most important stop I had to make. With H&S confiscating my laptop I didn't have anything to use.

I'd become rather fond of my M chip laptop that I'd been using for the last several years and grabbed the newest model, with the largest hard drive that I could buy in store. I felt the familiar ache when I thought about work. It was something I'd poured so much of myself into that this trip was more than about getting some silly clothes or decorations or hell even a new computer. This trip was about re-finding myself. Re-finding the person I put on hold to be the most successful person in my field that I could.

And with that I finally made it to stationary. I grabbed a few sketchpads and a couple of lined notebooks but none of it felt quite right, I wanted something more personal. The total was more than I'd spent on anything in a very long time. The cashier glanced at me several times as she scanned clearly wondering something. I tapped my card without flinching. When the card didn't decline the cashier finally got up the courage.

"Divorce?"

"Fired."

"Been there." She said with a nod. I stopped at the grocery store and bought way too much of everything. I was starving. I needed to fill my cupboards and refrigerator and I decided to do just that. Fruit, bagels, frozen appetizers. If it sounded good in the cart it went. I realized I didn't have a toaster, so luckily the store had one of those and I grabbed it as well. Finally I was smiling as I grabbed my bag of fresh roasted coffee beans and headed for the checkout.

If nothing else I was going to eat and drink like a queen tonight.