Chương 4: Chapter Three

Wednesday October 5th I didn't sleep that night. I tried. I really did. I laid in bed with my eyes closed and told myself that I needed to sleep and that I'd wake up and everything would be right again. Tomorrow, I would call a lawyer and I'd figure out what Daniel had done. Tomorrow, I'd get my job back and finish preparations on the project that would change my life. But, every time I'd start to drift off I'd think about the poster, the console in my car, the picture in my apartment.

I played a thought experiment with myself. If I wasn't going crazy, or experiencing a medical episode of some sort then what was it? I'd read about carbon monoxide poisoning, and cycled back between either that or a brain tumor as the only rational explanations were: reality was a simulation and we were just advanced versions of The Sims or people trapped in The Matrix or I was becoming some kind of mutant that was developing auditory and visual related super powers.

I hoped that wasn't the case, because if I could've been Jean Grey and instead was just me–well I got scammed. I gave up on sleep around 4: 00AM and I got out of bed. I stood back to the living area and looked at Nicolas Cage. I slipped on my shoes. I opened my phone and after dismissing the missed calls and texts without looking at them I Googled: "Signs of a brain tumor" and "What to do if I have carbon monoxide poisoning. The results did little to comfort me and so I grabbed my keys and drove myself to the ER.

Exhaustion caught up with me and I began to doze off in the waiting room. The sticky handprinted white wall across from me softened. The scuffs and dents on the wall began to merge. I jolted awake at the sound of my name. I spent hours being drilled, poked, prodded and tested. Bloodwork, a heart monitor, a CT, an MRI, IV Fluids. The triaging doctor stopped in briefly to explain I had a 'simple complex migraine' He did not appreciate my pointing out his oxymoron.

I was given some kind of cocktail that consisted of benadryl, aspirin, and anti-nausea medicine. After leaving me in the dark for an hour I was released feeling exhausted but my head actually felt better. On my way home I stopped at the store to get a couple of sports drinks and a carbon monoxide detector (just in case). I was so tired that as I was browsing the shelves I had convinced myself that the doctor was right, all of this was a migraine. It was mid-morning by the time I walked into my apartment.

The blinking error message on the coffee pot reminded me that I would have to leave the apartment to go in search of caffeine like a hunter gatherer of old. Instead I grabbed my blanket off of the back of the couch, wrapped myself in it and was asleep before my body had time to protest about the uncomfortable hard cushions. My phone vibrating in my pocket woke me as the sun was setting. I'd ignored it and fell back asleep twice, but it was obvious the caller wasn't taking do not disturb mode seriously.

I fished the phone out of my back pocket and briefly considered throwing it rather than answering when I saw the Caller ID. Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

"Hi Mom." I sighed drowsily into the phone.

"What's wrong? Why are you sleeping? Shouldn't you just be getting off of work? Are you sick? Don't tell me you haven't been taking those vitamins I've been sending." she fired without taking a breath.

"I had a migraine. But, I'm fine thank you. How are you today?"

"Oh, don't change the subject Samantha. You really need to make sure you're getting enough water and taking a break from the computer. You know with your headaches that overwork and eye strain are the two leading causes. Maybe you should try getting outside more. Are you using peppermint essential oil?" I rolled my eyes, and suppressed a groan.

"What's going on mother?"

"Don't take that tone with me. I was just calling to remind you about Thanksgiving next month, Samantha."

"Oh, there is going to be a Thanksgiving again this year?" She let out a strangled, huff.

"You know how everyone loves to see you at the holidays and hear about your big job in the city. I don't know why you're being like this." The ringing started. My mom loved the holidays. It wasn't togetherness or family or hell even the presents that she enjoyed most. Of her six sisters only two had kids who graduated college. Neither was in a particularly lucrative or exciting career. The rest were floating from job to job.

And my mother, well she wouldn't accept anything less than perfection because at the holidays she needed to show off her pure bred perfectly manicured poodle–I mean daughter.

"Samantha. Samantha. Are you listening to me?" The ringing had gotten louder and I scrunched my eyes closed and pulled my blanket up and over my head. I could taste the copper and I swallowed it down.

"Yes mother. Yes, I'll be there."

"Do make sure to bring your boyfriend this year. People have been talking and there are rumors floating about that the reason you never have a date. You know how your aunts get. Especially with Brittany's wedding last month. I'd hate for them to think you're a–" she hissed a whisper for the last word as if it were a curse.

"--lesbian""I'm not dating anyone right now. The reason I've never brought a date to meet the family is because you are all so… so…"

"Right, it's my fault I'm sure. As usual."

"And Jesus fuck mom. There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian."

"Samantha!" She exclaimed. I could almost hear her clutching her pearls.

"Do not speak to your mother that way. I'm just trying to save you from embarrassing yourself at Thanksgiving. Of course there's nothing wrong with it! I just don't want you to go through the embarrassment of the family thinking you're a–you know."

"A lesbian?"

"Exactly, Samantha." The silence dragged on a moment too long and the ringing began amping up again.

"Okay mother. I'll see you at Thanksgiving."

"Alright dear, can't wait. You get to feeling better and don't forget that boyfriend of yours. Love you bye." Before I could respond the line went dead in my ear and the urge to throw it across the room was almost unbearable. Instead, I did the mature thing and bit the phone and screamed.