Chương 18: Chapter Seventeen

The next week was a blur of research and righteous anger. During the day, I maintained the appearance of a normal human. I went shopping, stopped by the coffee shop, updated my resume for the six, seventh and what must have been twenty-ninth times. I applied for jobs (I made sure they were real). Kate and I would text. Mostly office drama and questions about the job hunt. She was sending me dozens of articles on beginning to build a client base, and each one made me chuckle. Kate: How's the job hunt going?

I heard that some of the FAANG companies are bringing on upper level talent!!! Me: maybye Me: Oops, maybe. Me: I put in applications everywhere local, and anywhere that is accepting remote employment. Me: I hate long commutes Me; Or worse. Moving. Kate: Shit!!!! I didn't think about moving. You're not allowed. 💔💔💔 Are there mroe remote possibilities??? Me: I don't even know. I'm keeping my eyes open. Don't worry. I'm not leaving you. Kate: Oh!!!! You know Johnathan in sales???

He and Madison have been going to lunch every day this week!!!! It's all anyone is talking about!!! Me: Madison? With the sweaters? Kate: The one and only… Madison was a mid level designer. She didn't really have aspirations higher than that. She was content and comfortable being exactly who she was, for better or worse. You see, Madison had a unique fashion style. She made her own sweaters. The sweaters were… unique? They were certainly one of a kind.

And the most mind-blowing part about her was that she had a social media following for these sweaters. You see they were all made out of unique materials that her followers chose. Some of the more memorable ones were, a cat hair sweater, a sweater made from tube socks, one that was assembled from the deconstructed heads of Beenie Babies. The point is, she was dating and we… we were not. Kate: They've even been trying to set me up with Dillan in accounting!!

Apparently my 'date' with Daniel was not kept as quiet as I'd hoped. 😭😭😭 Me: Oof. Kate: The point is we absolutely need to get back out there. Friday??? Me: Aren't we already going out on Halloween? Kate: And? Me: I don't know Kate… Me: I'm super busy right now. 😂 Kate: Lol very funny. Let's make it the Friday following Halloween. Me: ok Kate: It's a date. Not take backs!!! Me: Pick me up at 8. I expect roses. Kate: lol deal. This way we have plenty of time to prepare. Me: Prepare for what?

Kate: We're making costumes this weekend. Tell me you didn't forget… If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation. Me: What? How could I forget? I'd forgotten. Ugh… how could I forget. I needed to run to the craft store and get materials. The audio book continued to keep me company during the daylight hours.

Aurora and Malikai's slow burn romance played out in my ear buds while I pretended to be a functional human being not counting down the days to my next real human interaction."' You think I'm a monster,' Malikai said, his wings folded tight against his back.

'And perhaps I am. But I've never lied to you, Aurora. Can you say the same? Can you tell me with honesty that you never considered giving in. That this,' he said gesturing south, 'isn't what you desire. Maybe I'm a monster. But you are drawn to me You're drawn to the dark and everything it holds.' He drew in close, lips parted. His eyes blazed with desire." I laughed. Kate would definitely judge me for listening to this in public.

I continued wandering around the close-out store looking at random knickknacks and people watching. An older woman walked past me, cart overflowing with nearly expired Fancy Feast. She was in a hurry and nearly knocked over another woman with a cart full of school supplies and… were those potholders with little dolls sewn on? What have I been missing out on by not shopping for so many years? Yeah, ye olde internet was convenient but this–this was entertaining.

I found myself in the home-goods aisle, running my fingers along a set of mismatched ceramic mugs. Each was painted with a different inspirational quote.

"Live Laugh Love", "But First, Coffee", "I won't give a rat's ass until this cup is empty."

"Not today, Satan". I picked up the Satan one. It was hideous and I loved it. A teenager walked by. Her face was completely buried in her phone, and she was oblivious to the world around her. Her cart had what appeared to be supplies for a dorm room: A scratch and dent mini fridge, a cheap desk lamp, those eggshell mattress toppers that every college kid thinks will make their twin XL bearable. She had no idea how much her life was about to change. I wondered how long it had been since I'd been so naive.

Long long before college. As I explored the store I also began manipulating objects. I changed the color of shopping carts when their shopper looked away. A blue handle became green, red became blue. No one noticed. Why would they? People pay very little attention to what's around them. Our brains filter out the vast majority of our senses, and on top of that we've got a million and one things we're always thinking about. I decided to be bolder.

An area rug in the clearance section grew half a foot in each direction. It slowly stretched, the way the pockets of my jeans had when I'd made them larger. Material covered more space than it should. A ceramic vase was my next victim. It was a very dated dusty rose that made it look like it belonged in my grandmother's china cabinet. It shifted into a deep teal that actually surprised me as to how different it looked. I placed it in my cart.

Then I picked a six-pack of white undershirts, the kind that came in a plastic package with cardboard inserts. I focused on the fabric itself, I wanted to make it softer, higher quality, maybe even increase the thread count. The code was dense and I wasn't sure what I was looking for. There! I held onto the value and began to push, changing it to my will. It did not go well. The six-pack of shirts was now a bag of unwoven string in dirty dishwater grey. The plastic packaging bulged and warped like melted cheese.

"Oh, shit!" I exclaimed, startled by the unmaking. I shoved the ruined package behind the others in the same variety. Note to self: not that one. If I was going to do this costume thing I was going to need more practice. A store employee walked past and I held my breath. The employee didn't even give me a second glance, let alone notice the evidence of my crimes against textiles. I took my vase, Satan mug and another six-pack of shirts to the register. I felt both simultaneously powerful, and slightly ridiculous.

At night, I continued diving into Greg's personal files. I was working on breaking into his personal computer, which I was finding to be more difficult than other things. First, I did not know where to even begin looking, and when I found it–it was a little different than I anticipated. There were encrypted drives on his secure home network. Every system has a weakness and I had all the time in the world to find it. I continued shopping. A lot. It started with practicality.

A desk chair because the one I had was killing my back. A second monitor because I had been used to it at work and I needed more room for all of my windows. I got a better coffee maker because the one from Target was a simple drip machine and I missed espresso. Then because my severance was going to be delivered along with back pay for the last couple of weeks I started buying less practical things. I bought a new bed because I wasn't sleeping, and it was probably the old beds fault.

I bought a massive TV because if I was going to spiral I might as well do it in 4k. I bought a whole new wardrobe, because a normal person needed good clothes for interviews. I bought Kate a present. A beautiful cashmere scarf in deep burgundy, her favorite color. I didn't examine too closely why I wanted to buy her things. I was probably just getting her a thank-you gift for forgiving me. One evening I checked my bank account balance and felt a small shock at the amount I'd spent.

My fabricated fortune was dwindling far faster than I'd anticipated. I thought about adding some more. By now it would be easy, a few small code tweaks and an extra zero would appear out of nowhere. I decided to wait. The money from H&S would be coming in soon anyway. Maybe I would just add an extra zero to the severance. Yeah, that's exactly what I'd do. I went into the signed offer files and updated the total with an extra zero.

Then I made my way into their accounting files and emails and ensured every instance of the severance numbers matched. Later, I told myself that I could stop any time, and in fact with a very very insane severance coming my way not only was I done, but I wouldn't even need to alter it any time soon.